Kiss Kiss

By Lady of the Ink
Pairing: Kyou and Kagura Sohma
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Theme: #28 - Wada Calcium CD3
Disclaimer: I don’t own Fruits Basket, but you knew that  ...I hope. But I do own this story and all the twists that it takes.

 

Kiss Twenty-Four

Being There

 

When you've lived your whole life with certain structures and boundaries, the sudden removal of them leaves an undeniable void. There's an emptiness that never seems to go away and an uncertainty that creeps into everything connected to those missing rules. The safety and security of knowing where you stand vanishes, leaving you like a person teetering on the edge of a cliff in a strong wind. That's your moment, whether you're ready to face it or not, to choose the path you'll follow from then on. You can spend your time trying to create new rules to recapture that sense of protection or you can embrace the unknown and let yourself fall.

Such was the decision waiting to be made by the Juunishi of the Sohma family. The curse that had plagued them for generations was gone, worn away or broken through unknown means. Whatever had caused this sudden change, they were struggling in their own ways to come to grips with it. Not only were they losing something that had been a major part of themselves, they had also lost the strings that had once bound them together so closely.

There was uncertainty now in even the closest of relationships as each side wondered where this new situation left them standing. Desires that had once been unobtainable were now within reach, causing them to wonder if that was even something worth going after. Was the idea of it being forbidden the real motivation behind wanting it so badly? Was simply being able to acquire it a good enough reason for trying? Were all the problems and sacrifices that achieving it would cause really as worth it as they had seemed when reaching that goal had been impossible?

For a time, each and every one of them pulled inside themselves to ask and answer these questions. As though through subconscious agreement, months passed without any of them making an effort to see one another. Casual meetings were marked by nods of acknowledgement and little more. This time was about them and they all needed to relearn certain things about themselves before they could even think about reinstating relationships with one another.

It was only when the time for the traditional New Years banquet rolled around that their solitary searches faltered. This was the day that had always pulled them together in the past and it didn’t seem right to simply ignore it. Although none of them had any intention of reviving all the old customs, there were a few aspects of the gathering that they wanted to preserve. Though it was gone now, they had shared a link that few could imagine, let alone understand. Even if it was just for this one year, they all felt the need to mark the occasion in a way that would lay the old ones to rest.

Kagura watched the day approach with a mixture of strong emotions. She loved her family and was happy at the chance to see them all together again. On the other hand, it had been so long and so many things had changed in their time apart that she felt a little nervous. What if without the curse, they had nothing to hold them together? As much as she had hated being different, the closeness she had shared with the others had always been a plus side. To have solid proof that that bond was gone would be a blow to her still shaky new world.

To help brace herself, she spent a week shopping for just the right dress and shoes. She also took her time to find the exact right style for her hair and makeup. On the day of the big event, she was pleased to see that none of the nerves tightening her stomach were visible for others to see. With a last deep breath and her mother’s calming presence at her side, she headed to the banquet.

Although they were using the same building as in previous years, there were few other similarities. Someone had gone to town with the decorations; brightly colored streamers and balloons floated near the ceiling. Since there would be no dance, a dozen small tables had been brought in and set with tablecloths and flowery centerpieces. A longer table was against one wall with hors d'oeuvres already set out. Soft music played in the background, almost blocked out by the buzz of conversation and laughter.

The guest list was the most noticeable difference of the night. Tohru, Kyou, and various other family members that hadn’t been allowed in before were already present. Momiji arrived just after she did with his father, mother, and sister by his side. Kagura wasn’t sure how he’d managed it but she did know that he was happier than she could ever remember seeing him. He’d always worn a cheerful front but now there was a true and deep joy shining from his eyes. He didn’t stop smiling the entire time it took to show his family to their seats and take his place among them.

Hiro and Kisa followed them soon after, their families arriving together. This wasn’t surprising as news of their first date a week before had quickly made the rounds. Knowing that Hiro had long been enamored with the older girl, Kagura was happy for him. The budding relationship seemed to be agreeing with Kisa as well. She was almost glowing and much more outgoing than she’d been in the past. Having a guy by your side that you knew would slay any and all demons for you probably had that effect on a girl, Kagura thought with a smile.

Wading through the growing crowd, Kagura found an empty seat and sank into it. Socializing could wait a bit; for the moment, she was content just to watch the others. Seeing her cousins so carefree in this place that had formerly been anything but had settled a lot of the butterflies in her stomach. There was the rest of the night to calm her remaining worries.

No one in the room could have missed Ayame’s entrance even if they’d tried. The always boisterous former snake was in rare form with his assistant Mine by his side. Kagura had often wondered if there was more than just a professional connection between the two. She was pretty sure she had her answer in their clasped hands and impromptu dance number as they crossed the room. Yuki watched their approach with an expression of indulgence and a lack of surprise that clearly showed he’d been expecting such behavior and wasn’t going to let it bother him. The same couldn’t be said for their mother; her face was blank but her tightly pressed lips showed her displeasure at her older son’s antics. But the fact that she had come at all was a sign that things in that part of the family had undergone a lot of changes.

Hatori made a much more sedate appearance, remaining almost unnoticed as he headed for Ayame’s table. Kagura recognized the woman at his side as Yuki and Kyou’s former teacher. She smiled as she remembered the previous week and the conversation she’d overheard. Having just finished her usual check up, he had vanished into his office as she got dressed. It was as she waited for his assistant to fill the prescription of calcium pills Hatori had put her on that she’d caught a few words as he spoke on the phone. It had caught her attention to hear him speak without his usual tone of distanced calm as he tried to convince Myu to come with him. She was sure the older woman’s hesitation in accepting didn’t have anything to do with Hatori since most of his side of the call had been assuring her that Shigure would be on his best behavior.

Luckily for him, Shigure seemed to be doing just that. Ever since the Akito revelation had shaken almost everyone, the writer rarely left her side. He seemed to have taken it on himself to be guide to the world she had long been kept from. Kagura wasn’t sure if it was her new freedom or his attention or both but Akito was slowly blossoming into an almost pleasant human being. While she wasn’t ready to openly embrace the other woman yet, she was willing to give her a chance. Although none of the others affected by the curse had been quite as awful about it as Akito, neither had any of them suffered in quite the way she had. For that reason, Kagura was withholding judgment for the time being. From the cautious glances being thrown the family head’s way, she knew she wasn’t the only one.

Tohru’s happy voice drifted to her ears and she looked up to see the girl throwing her arms around another new arrival. Kagura recognized the tall blonde-haired girl as one of Tohru’s friends but couldn’t bring her name immediately to mind. A part of the momentary memory blank was due to the sight of Kureno by the girls’ side. He’d always been a shadow in her life, both in his obscurity and melancholy. To see him standing tall and proud with a gentle smile on his face was startling. He blushed as the blond girl carefully brushed a lock of hair off his forehead and Kagura knew where to cast credit for the change.

She sighed, a contented smile curving her lips. It seemed like everyone had made the best of the end of the curse. People who had long been alone had now found someone to make them happy, the weight of their secret no longer an issue. If this was a sign of the future of the Sohma family, it looked like things were off to an excellent start.

Kagura’s eyes moved to the corner of the room where Kyou stood. He’d been with Yuki and Tohru earlier but the arrival of Yuki’s mother and Tohru’s friend had left him alone for the moment. Anyone looking at him would see a young man idly scanning the crowd with a slightly bored air. Having watched him for as long as she had, Kagura saw through the front to the nervousness it sought to hide. His shoulders were just a little too stiff, his stance a little wide, as though bracing himself for an attack. She understood; this was the first time he’d been welcomed to this particular place and so it wasn’t surprising that he’d be ill at ease.

She debated for a few moments about going to talk to him but decided against it. Her appearance was hardly the thing to make him more comfortable, she admitted ruefully. It was probably best to keep her distance and let him find his own way.

The night passed faster than it ever had. Before too long the food was brought out and everyone found a table. Kagura and her mother wound up with Momiji and his family. While their conversation wasn’t nearly as loud as the one coming from the table Ayame, Shigure, Hatori, and their dates sat it, it was pleasant enough. Although no mention was made of exactly how it had come to pass, Momiji’s return to his family was clear when Momo introduced him proudly as her brother. The little girl couldn’t have looked happier at the notion, an expression mirrored to a slightly smaller degree on her father’s face. Her mother seemed at ease with the declaration, if not as openly thrilled by it. Kagura wondered what the story behind it was and made a mental note to ask the cheerful boy about it the next time they happened to meet.

It was drawing close to midnight and before she slipped away from the party that was still going full blast. She stopped long enough to pile a plate with a few specific items before making her way outside. Although night had long since fallen, enough light came through the windows that she could easily make out the path. The cool air was refreshing after the growing warmth inside and she took several slow breaths as she walked. Her steps were slow but confident; she knew exactly where she was going and her destination was sure to remain the same for some time.

She reached the corner of the building and stopped. No sounds beside the muffled gaiety from inside came to her ears but she knew she was no longer alone. Leaning against the wall, she selected a morsel from her plate and popped it into her mouth. Chewing slowly, she waited.

It didn’t take long for a scraping sound to come, followed by a thud as a dark shape dropped from the sky to land at her feet. Kagura didn’t bother to look, already knowing who it was. She had seen Kyou slip from the party almost twenty minutes earlier and watched carefully for his return. When he didn’t come back, she had decided that this was as good a time as any to confront him and the issues that remained between them, on her side, at least. Knowing of his penchant for rooftop lounging when things got uneasy, she had gone to the one place where the slope was low enough to have allowed him to climb up.

She heard Kyou dusting off his pants and hands before turning to face her. Even with the light coming through the windows, she couldn’t make out much more than his outline, the black shadow on a slightly lighter darkness. He took up a stance similar to own, blending himself further into the blanketing night, clearly waiting for her to make the first move.

Balancing her plate of snacks on her palm like waitress, she offered it to him. The action was more of a stalling tactic than a courtesy. She needed a moment to tamp down on the happiness that had flared when he had willingly joined her on the ground. It would have been just as easy for him to ignore her or run; the fact that he had done neither was, she hoped, a good sign.

A squeak of annoyance escaped her lips when the entire plate was lifted from her grip. She glared in his general direction, crossing her arms over her chest to further the impact. “You were just supposed to take some, not everything,” she chided, although the comment lacked heat due to her good mood.

There was a distinct crunching sound followed by an overdone hum of appreciation. Kagura laughed, enjoying the playfulness of the moment. It had been so long since Kyou had been at ease in her company, not that she could blame him. When it came to him, her past behavior could best be described as heavy handed. If he was willing to accept her being there, she wasn’t going to try to force more than he was ready to give. For that reason, she took her time phrasing her next comment. 

“You ducked out kind of early. Anything wrong?” she asked, not even attempting to sound casual. He would have seen right through it and she didn’t want even the mildest form of game playing to enter the conversation. The end of the curse was like a slate being wiped clean. From this time on, she was going to stop beating herself up over the mistakes she had made years before. It was time to learn from them and move on, hopefully making stronger, healthier connections to those she cared about.

There was a pause in the chewing, followed by a quiet sigh. Kagura waited patiently, wondering if she’d get an answer or an order to mind her own business. Surprisingly, it was the former. “It was weird, being in there.”

She nodded, having guessed as much earlier. She kept quiet, giving him time to decide if he wanted to say more or leave it at that.

It was several moments before his voice came again. “It’s strange. I know that they don’t mind me being there, but it still feels like I, I don’t know, snuck in or something. Like at any moment someone’s going to come and throw me out, telling me that I don’t belong.”

Kagura’s heart ached for the little boy that hid within the comment. She could only imagine what it had been like for him, kept away from everyone. Suffering the curse had been terrifying but at least she had had the others to lean on, to look at and know that she wasn’t alone. Kyou had been kept from even that simple comfort, always apart and alone. Her throat tightened as it always did when she thought about how he had suffered. She had to swallow before she was sure her voice would come out semi-normally.

“It’s not that they just don’t mind your being there, Kyou. Everyone wants you there. Tonight isn’t about the past; it’s about the futures we can all have now that the curse isn’t holding us back. In fact, I’d say you probably have the most right to be there since you’ve regained the most.”

She felt rather than saw him shake his head. “It still doesn’t feel right.”

“So you’re going to spend the rest of the night out here, alone in the dark? It’s a party of people with something celebrate, the same as you. I’d think you could put up with the noise and crowd for a few hours.” She started to say they were family but bit it back. Being family had never saved him from them before.

She felt his shoulder brush her own as he shrugged and she huffed in annoyance. If she let him, he was liable to do exactly as she’d said and spend the rest of the party hiding in the shadows and feeling left out. He needed someone to prod him into doing what was best for him, even if he didn’t know it. Dusting her hands together, she got right to the point.

“Well, I’m not going to let you skulk in the corner. One of two things is going to happen. This could turn out to be a one-time event, a celebration to mark the end of the curse and nothing more, which means you don’t have to worry about it again. Or it could become a new tradition, one that we all decide to honor because we want to, not because we have to. If that’s the case, then you’ll get used to it in time or else come to the realize that it’s one night a year and only a really big baby couldn’t deal with that.” He snorted and she ignored him. “Either way, you need to go back in. You might regret it someday if you don’t.”

His “Doubtful,” was muttered under his breath but she still heard it, She swatted him with the back of her hand, satisfied when the action elicited a muffled grunt. “If you’re not going to come willingly, I’ll drag you in. Or better yet, I’ll get Shigure and Ayame to come out and keep you company.”

“All right; I’ll go back in,” he agreed irritably, obviously knowing which was the greater threat. “Just not yet.”

Thinking that he would want to be alone, she started to move but was stopped by his hand on her wrist. Kyou didn’t say anything and after a moment, she settled back into her former place. Maybe he just didn’t want to walk back in alone, she thought to herself. If having her there would make him feel better, she was willing to wait for him to gather himself. She let her eyes wander over the darkness, squinting to make out the few landmarks visible by the light of the stars and waning moon.

“Thanks,” he said quietly and so unexpectedly that she jumped a bit at the sound of his voice.

“For what?” she asked, a bit confused by his sudden gratitude.

“Just for being here.”

As they stood there in the darkness with the faint music from the party drifting to their ears, Kyou leaned close. His lips brushed her cheek, softly, gently, for just the space of a heartbeat. Then the warmth of his body was gone from her shoulder as he retook his place a few inches away. It wasn’t the sweet romantic kiss of a fairy tale finale, but who wanted to settle for a happy ending when they could have a happy beginning instead?