News Bulletin #1
Latest news reports that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating at the Lockheed Martin Houston site. Police advised today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. Lockheed Martin security stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin, and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. Police advise further that they can find no one that fits the description of the 4th cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the plant.
News Bulletin #2
The president has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard-line extremist terrorists cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to look at a naked woman who is not their wife, tomorrow night at 7:00, all women should run out of their houses naked to help weed out the terrorists. The United Stated appreciates your efforts and applauds you!
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