Chapter 15
Faramir stood up and laid Teleziel back on the cot and covered him with the blanket and then went over to his own cot and lay down. His eyes felt heavy and grainy from lack of sleep and his head ached. He covered his eyes with his arm and fell into a light, dreamless sleep.
Teleziel’s mouth felt as though it were stuffed with sand and his body floated strangely, as though no longer held down to the earth. He knew he was not dead, however, for he could smell the sourness of his own body and he could hear the soft snores of someone near him. With an effort, he peeled open his eyes and stared at the stone ceiling. Where was he?
Turning his head, he saw a red-haired man prone on a cot next to him. Teleziel blinked sleep from his eyes and concentrated on the red-gold mustache and the soft curls. Recognition came slowly. “Captain?” His voice came out in a soft whisper and he felt certain Faramir couldn’t hear him. He raised his head and stared around. The room was slightly larger than his cell and contained only the two cots and a stool.
He was too weak to rise, but his throat was so raw and parched all he could think of was quenching his thirst. He rolled over slowly and felt the cot sway beneath his weight. He moaned and felt sick to his stomach as the room swirled. Warm hands grasped his shoulders and steadied him and he looked up into Faramir’s concerned face.
“Lie still,” Faramir said as he pushed Teleziel back on the bed. When Teleziel tried to speak, he laid a finger of the warm, chapped lips. “Hush.”
He left Teleziel alone to stare at the ceiling, trying not to feel abandoned and frightened. He itched all over and he thought it must be from the cuts that he’d inflicted on himself. That Faramir did not simply allow him to die was a slim source of comfort. Although he did have to wonder why not.
Faramir appeared at his side and put an arm beneath his head. “Drink slowly,” he commanded as he held a cup of water to Teleziel’s lips.
The cool water tasted like wine to Teleziel and it was all he could do not to gulp the liquid down. He’d hardly drunk at all when the cup was removed. He whimpered softly and followed the retreating cup with his eyes.
“I’ll give you more in a moment.” Faramir laid Teleziel back and then stroked the olive skin with his hand. “You are still warm, but I think the worst may be over. We’ll be moving you to Minas Tirith shortly. The journey will be unpleasant, but there’s nothing else I can do.”
Teleziel shook his head as fear closed over his heart. “No,” he whispered and wondered if his voice was strong enough to be heard of the terrified thumping of his heart.
“I have no choice, Teleziel. I –“ Faramir held a momentary debate with himself. “I can leave you here, Teleziel, in the woods and hope your people find you and take pity on you. Or, I can take you to Minas Tirith. My company is retreating. Do you understand?”
“Then..it has begun,” Teleziel coughed and his chest burned from it.
“Already I have delayed too long. I may be too late.”
Teleziel looked hopeful for a moment and then turned away. “What will happen to me in Minas Tirith?”
“I cannot say right now. As…my indecision has cost you your usefulness, I fear.”
“Your father, the Steward, will kill me.”
“Maybe,” Faramir ran his fingertip along the back of Teleziel’s hand. “I cannot spare the men to stay with you, but if you’d rather face your own people.” He didn’t finish his thought; there was no need.
Teleziel shook his head. “You saved me for this? How long do I have?
Faramir frowned, not understanding the question. “We leave in two days.”
“How long will it take to reach Minas Tirith?”
“A week, maybe less. You’ll be traveling in a liter to Osgiliath. If things go as I plan, you and the other wounded will continue on from there.”
“Let me stay in this Osgiliath. Give me the opportunity
to die a man—a warrior.”
“I haven’t the men to spare to look after you, Teleziel. And, frankly,
I do not think that they would relish fighting by your side, even if you could
fight. It is better for you to go to Minas Tirith.”
“To die,” Teleziel struggled to sit up. “No, do not help me.” He waved Faramir away. “I won’t be carried like a child to my own death.” Sitting up required more strength than he had and he fell back panting and sick with dizziness.
Faramir watched the determined Haradrim and the strange mixture of exasperation and admiration rose anew. “Why did you do it?”
“I thought I was ready to die. I was wrong. I realized that my life was not as empty as I’d always thought. There were many things I took for granted, things I’d assumed. Now I know differently. Twice I have faced death; once at the hand of my people, and once at my own hand. Both events have made me stronger. I am ready, now, to begin living.” Teleziel looked up at Faramir. “Only now, I may have but a few days.”
Faramir felt hollow inside. Had he saved Teleziel for a worse fate? What had he been thinking when he’d tried to save the Haradrim? He’d allowed his lust to gain the better of him and now both he and Teleziel would pay the price. Teleziel, undoubtedly, would pay with his life, while he, Faramir, would pay with something worse. “I am sorry, Teleziel. I did not think this through as I should have.”
“Why did you wait so long to send me away?” Teleziel wanted to ask Faramir why he’d waited until he cared for the captain, until he’d learned to trust and believe in him, before deciding to sentence him to death.
“It was wrong of me, I know that now.” Faramir retrieved the cup and helped Teleziel into a sitting position and placed the cup to his lips.
Teleziel drank deeply and sighed as the water cooled his tongue and throat. “I have come to trust you,” he admitted.
Faramir remained motionless, uncertain of what to make of the statement.
Teleziel studied Faramir from beneath his dark lashes. “You taught me that I am not alone and, for the first time in my life, I have met someone like myself. If I was not Haradrim, would you love me?”
Faramir felt as though he’d been slapped. He felt his cheeks flame red and his hand shook so that he put the cup on the floor, hoping that Teleziel would not notice. He kept his face averted for a long time, pondering the question, unwilling to answer it because to give it voice was to give his thoughts power. He could not afford to lose any more power to his whirlwind emotions.
Teleziel watched Faramir’s cheeks grow pink and he wondered if he’d embarrassed the captain with his unusual question. Who was he to make such demands, any way? Still, he had to know. “In the days since I first came to you, Captain of Men, you have shown me kindness and pity. I did not want these things from you, but you forced them on me anyway. I did not want to think beyond the pain in my heart or the pain in my body, and yet you forced me to face them. When you gave me the knife and told me to decide my own fate, I decided to die rather than face the truth. But when I tried, I found I could not. I thought first that my people were right. Those like me are cowards. Yet, you say you are like me and I do not see how you could be a coward. I cut my hair, like a woman, because I wanted to mourn myself. It was a silly act. But I thought that no one else would. Might it be that I was correct and no one will mourn for me when I die? That scares me and makes me a little sad.” Teleziel panted as his thoughts ran away from him, exhausting what little strength he had.
Maybe I am the coward, thought Faramir. I’ve feelings for this man that I dare not admit. I can’t keep him and I cannot let him go.
“Still you remain silent,” Teleziel spoke to fill the silence.
“I have nothing to say,” replied Faramir sternly
as he removed his arm from beneath Teleziel’s back. “I’ll
try to find you something light to eat.”