After the stressful morning, they all decided naps were in order. However, with Janet’s shiny red Camero still cruising slowly up and down the street, no one felt particularly safe so they set watches. Legless took the first watch, sitting by the door with his bone handled knives laid across his lap and a ferocious grimace sporting his features. Stu, dressed in his new jeans and shirt, climbed on to the couch and curled up in a ball with his butt pressed firmly against the back cushions. The rest of the family retreated upstairs to get a little well-earned rest. Judging from the noises coming from Stu’s old room, at least two people decided to forego rest in pursuit of other pastimes. Stu pulled a pillow over his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
By the afternoon, Janet’s Camero was no longer cruising the street in front of the house. It had been replaced by a brown Dodge pick-up truck with a custom rear window painting depicting a white-tailed deer and the shadow of a gun rack. The mud flaps bore images of Yosemite Sam and warned other drivers to ‘Back off!’.
Legless wakened Stu and the man limped into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Thinking he heard something at the back door, he tiptoed across the linoleum and flung the door open. His cousin Shirley was crouched on the stoop. She had a bent and scratched credit card in her hand. He sighed at her shook his head. “What are you doing?“
She gave him a disgusted look and slunk away through the backyard without answering.
Stu returned to the living room and sat in front of the windows and peeked nervously from the replaced curtains. The rod had been bent in the scuffle and the wrinkled drapery hung unevenly. Joanne seemed resigned and, much to Stu’s surprise, uninterested in fixing them.
The Dodge was joined in its vigil by a two teen-aged girls on a four wheeler. Tiffany drove, but Stu didn’t recognize the passenger.
Close to six, he was joined by William. As dusk fell, Joanne came down and began fixing supper. Aunt Sue showed up a short time later, her wig an even bigger mess than before, and peered through the windows. The Dodge had been replaced by a black Cadillac. Police cruisers, alerted by concerned neighbors, joined the parade.
“What do you think all this nonsense with Brenda Jo is about?” William asked as his wife handed him a plate of sausage gravy, biscuits and eggs. He picked a feather out of the gravy.
“I honestly don’t know,” Stu frowned as the Cadillac passed once more. He accepted his own plate from Joanne with a polite nod. “Was that Granny Grace Watson driving?” She was no relation to Stu’s family, but had been friends with Aunt Sue and her sister, Glenda, since the Pilgrims had landed at Plymouth Rock.
William sadly shook his head. “Looks like.”
“Tell me about Rich?”
William shrugged and swirled his scrambled eggs in the thick gravy. “An accountant. Graduated Georgia Tech. Makes good money. But you knew all that.”
“Shifty as the day is long,” Aunt Sue added as she came into the living room, followed closely by Glimmergroin. “Once he got that shiny gold band on Brenda Jo’s finger, all bets were off.”
Legless, lying motionless on the couch, suddenly sat straight up. “Gold ring? A plain one without markings?”
The dwarf’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How many of those fucking things are there?”
At some point, probably during the drinking binge, polite language had flown right out the window.
Stu shook his head helplessly while balancing his plate on his knees.. “No!No!No! It’s just..It’s…”
“And then, to make matters worse, he up and took Brenda Jo and the girls to New York City,” Aunt Sue continued as if no one else had spoken.
Legless, swinging his legs onto the floor, gave Stu a knowing look and nodded, as if his suspicions had just been confirmed.
“Some of the girls down at the Curl Up and Dye,” Joanne added as she, too, joined them, “claim that his last wife died mysteriously.”
Stu paused with his fork half way to his mouth. “How mysteriously?”
“Last wife?” The dwarf asked. “How many wives does he have?”
“She just took sick and languished in the hospital. That’s all I know.” Joanne crossed her legs and began mixing her food around on her plate.
“Several, but not all at once,” William shrugged his reply Glimmergroin. “Some folks are like that.”
Stu ignored the look Legless gave him. It didn’t do to explain divorce to someone who thought ‘to death do us part’ was literal. And, worse, who apparently didn’t die.
“He’s a crook,” Aunt Sue asserted. “I was talking to Leesa down at the Shop Rite and she said he got fired from his accounting job in Atlanta when some money went missing.”
“What’s the Curl Up and Dye?” Legless asked.
“It’s where Joanne gets her roots watered,” answered Aunt Sue. “You should probably make an appointment.”
“Why would I…” Joanne shook her head and dropped the subject. She had the distinct feeling she was missing about half the conversation anyway.
Stu smacked his lips appreciatively. It had been too long since he’d sampled his mother’s gravy and biscuits. “So this could be just a way to get the girls out of New York, just in case Rich’s embezzling money again. Or they could all be in real danger.”
“With the way Brenda Jo thinks, there’s no telling. One and the same to her, maybe,” William added. He frowned as blue lights flashed across the window.
A police cruiser had stopped the black Cadillac in front of the house and a very young officer stepped from the car. He walked toward the Cadillac, hand on the butt of his gun while the window rolled down and Grace Watson’s close-cropped gray head appeared. There was a momentary exchange as the officer bent down low and then he backed up hastily shaking his head and saying something. Granny Grace shook her finger at him and he ducked his head. With a quick nervous gesture, he walked away from the car and got into his cruiser. The lights stopped flashing and he pulled away from the curb. The black Cadillac idled for a moment longer.
William shook his head. "That poor boy never stood a chance," he said in reference to the young policeman.
“Think they’re planning a raid?” Stu narrowed his eyes.
“I’m ready for ‘em,” Aunt Sue set aside her plate and retrieved her folded umbrella.
Stu nearly choked on his food. “Let’s not get too hasty,” he sputtered. “We’ll be heading out pretty soon and there’s no sense getting our undies in a bunch.”
“I’ll make some sandwiches and coffee for the road,” Joanne said.
“Do you need money or anything?” William asked.
“I’m sure I’ve got everything I need,” Stu replied as the black car eased down the street.
“He’s got us.” The dwarf said with a smile.
“Oh, God,” muttered William into his iced tea.