Erestor celebrated his three hundredth year at Imladris by having a quiet dinner with Glorfindel. They sat in the warrior's rooms and dined on roast duck glazed with cranberries and walnuts. Erestor had chosen to dine quietly with Glorfindel because it felt safer somehow. He couldn't define what he felt, or perhaps he did not want to. But the entire day had been spent in a kind of surreal limbo that left him tired and confused.
His morning had started with a private meeting with Elrond where they'd gone over his duties and discussed his performance as Chief Advisor. At first, Erestor had been nervous, until he realized that Elrond was merely pointing out Erestor's level of competence.
"Erestor, I hope you are happy here," Elrond said at last, with a concerned expression.
"I am quite happy with my work," Erestor frowned. "Have I done something to indicate I am not? Are you dissatisfied in some way?"
"Me? No. I am concerned about you, my friend. In the years you have been here, you've formed no lasting attachments." Elrond hesitated. "This is none of my business, but I wonder if you are not lonely?"
And how could Erestor explain that away? "I have friends, my lord."
"That is not what I meant, but I can see you wish not to discuss it." Elrond pulled back. He sensed that Erestor had a secret. Perhaps he harbored a secret affection for someone, but was too shy or perhaps the person was already with someone. Regardless of the truth, Elrond had no right to force Erestor to discuss personal business. "I have something for you."
The change made Erestor sigh in relief. How did one explain to one's lord that, after spying on his best friend, he had no desire for a mundane romance? A box appeared under his nose and Erestor tilted his head to look at Elrond. "A gift?" He could not stop the smile spreading over his features any more than he could stop the soaring of his heart at the simple gesture.
"For your loyal service, Erestor. Without you, I doubt that I would have been able to accomplish as much as I have. You are as much a part of Imladris as I and you are invaluable. I only wished to demonstrate how invaluable."
Opening the box, Erestor gasped in delight. Nestled on a bed of velvet was a ceramic inkpot inlaid with blue lapis. "I am honored, my lord."
Elrond's hand rested lightly on Erestor's shoulder. "Your advice and friendship mean a lot to me."
"Then I am doubly honored," Erestor said awkwardly. He was far more touched by the gift and the pledge of trust than he could possibly let on. His heart quaked a little bit at the thought of his guilty secret. What if Elrond should ever find out? Erestor pushed the thought from his mind. He could not face thinking about it.
He returned to his desk and placed his new inkpot on the shiny surface, within easy reach of his long arm. He seated himself at his desk and pulled out fresh parchment for a letter he was composing to Cirdan for Elrond.
"Lord Erestor?" Elrond's secretary, Golrahir, cleared his throat.
Erestor looked up expectantly. "Yes?"
"Here," the elf shoved an intricately carved box under Erestor's nose. "I thought, in honor of your anniversary." His pale face colored slightly with embarrassment. "It isn't as elaborate as some of the other gifts."
Erestor took the box and examined it carefully. The craftsman had used rosewood and its rich, mellow glow accentuated the miniature detailed carving of Lindon's court when Gil-Galad was still alive. He opened the lid and peered in side. Plush velvet lined the interior and was large enough to hold broaches and hair clips or other adornments. Erestor was somewhat surprised by the gift. "I'm touched, Golrahir and I thank you. I shall treasure this always."
Golrahir's face lit up. "You are welcome, Lord Erestor." He left the office to return to his own cramped quarters.
Erestor lightly ran his fingers over the box, his subtle fingers tracing the lines and swirls of each figure. He remembered his time in Lindon fondly, though he would not have traded his tenure in Rivendell for anything. Still, it was pleasant to have a soothing, if slightly inaccurate, reminder of the good that was the old elven capital.
Later, as he sat at his desk writing letters with ink dipped from his new inkpot, Faelon entered with his hands behind his back.
Faelon nearly bounced on the balls of his feet. "Do I intrude?"
Laying aside his quill, Erestor grinned. "Not at all, my friend. I am always glad to see you. What have you got behind your back?"
Coming forward, Faelon held out leather bound book. The cover was etched in gold and the edges of the pages were gilt.
"It is not my birthday, Faelon, only the anniversary of my coming to Imladris." His eyes roamed greedily over the book held out before him. His hands trembled slightly as he caressed the cover.
"I know. But three hundred years is a long time, even for us elves. Besides, I never thought I'd want you to stay." Faelon perched on the edge of the desk, inches from Erestor. "Go on, take it."
Erestor inhaled deeply, letting the musty tang of leather wash over his senses. He did not realize how sexy, how sensual leather could smell. He opened the book and made a small sound of wonder in his throat. The vellum pages were filled with epic poetry and hand drawn illustrations. The craftsmanship was exquisite. "I am speechless."
"Good," Faelon leaned down and kissed Erestor on the cheek, his lips just scant inches from Erestor's mouth. He leapt from the desk. "Back to the library for me."
He was gone before Erestor could react to the kiss and the Advisor spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze. And as strange as his morning and afternoon had been, the short hour before dinner with Glorfindel had been even more bizarre.
After he'd finished his day's duties, Erestor returned to his rooms with his book. Even though he would have rather spent the evening exploring the wondrous pages, he had agreed to Glorfindel's invitation and he forced aside his desire to cuddle up with his new acquisition. He changed clothes and, with time to spare, decided a quick stroll around the gardens would enhance his appetite.
He was admiring one of his favorite statues when a voice in his ear jerked him form his musings.
"Good evening, Lord Erestor," Celebrian unceremoniously tucked her arm through his and stood with her body pressed a little closer than society would have thought polite.
"Lady Celebrian, I did not hear you approach. How fare you this eve?" Erestor wanted to unlace his arm, but had no idea how to do so without giving offense.
"I have a gift for you, my dear." In her other hand, Celebrian held out a tiny carved box. "In gratitude for your years of service to my husband and his house."
Erestor looked at the box for a moment as if it might suddenly attack him. Recovering his composure, he accepted the box and pried open the lid. Inside was a hair clasp shaped like a butterfly. The gift was far more personal than his position or his relationship with Lady Celebrian dictated.
"I do not know what to say," he stammered. Dismay and shock warred within him.
"Say that you will allow me to put it in your hair," she plucked the butterfly from its bed and stepped behind Erestor without waiting for his reply.
"Thank you, Lady Celebrian." Erestor found his voice at last.
She replaced his plain clip with the butterfly. "I will walk back with you to the main house. I understand you are dining with Glorfindel this evening and I want to talk to you beforehand."
"Has the duck threatened to attack you, my friend? Oh, I know, the orange slice has made a rude sexual suggestion." Glorfindel waved his hand at Erestor's untouched plate.
"I beg your pardon?"
Glorfindel threw back his head and laughed. "You are glaring at your food, Erestor, as if it is something foul and not a specially prepared meal. Will you not share what troubles you?"
Erestor pushed the succulent duck around on his plate and thought for a long, careful moment. "Nay, I cannot. Some things cannot be spoken of, no matter how close the friends may be."
Glorfindel stopped laughing. "Whatever is on your mind, Erestor, know that I am only seeking to be your friend and that nothing you said would ever be repeated outside these walls."
"I appreciate your concern, but I cannot discuss it now. Maybe later." Much later, Erestor thought.
The warrior let the matter drop and changed the subject to more pleasant topics. Despite his troubled heart, Erestor forced himself to relax and enjoy his friend's company and he left Glorfindel many hours later, feeling well fed and slightly tipsy from the wine. Yet his mind remained troubled and he felt a restlessness like he'd never known steal over him.
He paid no attention to where his feet led and before he knew it, he was in the library. The familiar smell of ink and parchment and leather and beeswax calmed his nerves. He'd always loved books and learning. That was why, he supposed, he was so fond of Elrond and working in Imladris. Learning was prized above all else. He seated himself in a comfortable chair and savored the quiet. He had not come seeking a book, but rather a balm for his soul. He tilted his head against the heavy padding and stared unseeing at the ceiling.
"Lord Erestor?"
Erestor blinked and groaned as he turned his head. His neck and shoulders ached from the uncomfortable position in which he'd fallen into reverie. His eyes fell on Melpomaen and he sighed. He'd fallen asleep in the library. "Forgive me, Melpomaen." He groaned again as he hefted himself from his chair. His eyes felt grainy and swollen.
"Can I get you anything?" The assistant librarian huddled around Erestor like a hen over her chicks.
Erestor shook his head carefully. "Thank you, no. I'm going back to my rooms and freshen up."
Melpomaen nodded earnestly, still hovering excessively close. "I shall send word to Lord Elrond."
"No!" Snapped the advisor. "Please, Melpomaen, I will discuss my tardiness with Lord Elrond myself." The last thing he wanted was explaining to Elrond exactly why he'd been so restless and unable to sleep that he decided to move his quarters temporarily to the library.
The assistant librarian looked hurt and retreated. "Of course."
Erestor felt bad for being so sharp with the younger elf, but he was in no mood for meddling lovesick fools. He paused as the thought entered his mind. Was he not exactly the same thing? Was he not mooning over a love that could never be his? Did he not creep around on cat feet to catch a glimpse of his dream lover? He was no better than the assistant librarian.
Erestor arrived in his office nearly an hour late. He was out of sorts and slightly breathless. He felt disjointed from lack of sleep and being forced to rush through his morning ablutions. The last person he expected to see was Faelon when he arrived.
The elf smirked from behind the Chief Advisor's desk. "Well, well. I'd ask you how you enjoyed your book last night, but it seems you chose to sleep in the library."
Glancing at the closed door leading to Elrond's office, Erestor rolled his eyes. "Melpomaen?"
"Who else. He was most concerned for your welfare." Faelon noticed his friend focusing on his lord's door. "He and Glorfindel have been closeted away for quite a while now. I doubt he even knows you weren't here first thing. Are you feeling well?"
"Nothing a good night's rest in my bed won't cure. I fear I had too much wine last night, and rather than being tired, I was a bit wound up. I thought the library would be a soothing place to relax as the alcohol dissipated. Do you mind, Chief Librarian?" Erestor shooed Faelon away from his desk.
"He likes you." The librarian moved around the desk and seated himself once again.
Erestor felt a tight little jerk deep in his stomach but forced his expression to remain neutral. "Melpomaen?"
"Who else?"
Who else indeed. "I know. He is a sweet ….elf." Erestor finished lamely.
"But?"
"But nothing. I like him, too, just not that way. Saelbeth seems taken with him. In fact, I'm sure that he believes he and Melpomaen have a future." Erestor waved his hand.
Sensing that his friend no longer wished to discuss the assistant librarian, Faelon found another unconsciously chose another uncomfortable subject. "Is that a new hair clip?"
Erestor's hand flew to his hair. He'd not bothered to take his hair down and redo it, therefore Celebrian's gift was still in his hair. "Lady Celebrian gave it to me," he admitted as his fingers ghosted over the clip.
Just then the door opened and Elrond and Glorfindel exited. Both elves stopped cold. Glorfindel's blue eyes opened wide as Erestor's face turned pink.
"What an unusual present to give to a Chief Advisor," murmured Elrond.
"I admit I was somewhat surprised, my lord." Erestor wanted to rip the offending hair clip from his head and fling it out the window.
"I am back off to protect Imladris' borders," announced Glorfindel in to the growing silence.
A few days later, Erestor sat in the main dining hall with the rest of the household. Gildor, a wandering bard and minstrel, had joined them the day before and he and his entire company had been entertaining Imladris with tales and songs. Erestor felt a tingling sensation, as though he were being watched and turned his head. Instantly, he made eye contact with Lady Celebrian. He swallowed and lowered his eyes.
Every since their last meeting, Erestor tried to avoid Lady Celebrian. Her gift made him uncomfortable, and what was worse, her conversation with him that night had unnerved him and left him feeling frantic and disjointed. He rubbed at his forehead as his mind replayed the scene in his mind.
"You are fond of my lord," Celebrian had said. "Too fond? I cannot tell who it is that fascinates you more: Elrond or Faelon."
"I do not understand, my lady," Erestor's stomach had rolled slowly.
"Do not play games, Erestor. I know about your late night activities. My husband and his-thing- have not yet figured it out, but I have. I should tell him, I know."
"I would rather you did not, my lady." Sweat beaded his face and turned his skin clammy as fear squeezed tightly around his heart. "I know what I have done is unforgivable."
Celebrian laughed. "Let us strike a bargain, Chief Advisor. I will keep my silence, but you must help me in return."
"In what way may I be of service?"
"I want Faelon out of Imladris. I care not how you do it, just so he is removed from my husband's life. His influence on Elrond is intolerable."
Appalled, Erestor could but stare for a moment. "My lady, I cannot get rid of Faelon, as you say. I have no authority to dismiss anyone from Elrond's employ. Besides, the Chief Librarian is my friend."
"Your friend?" Celebrian put enough emphasis on 'friend' to let Erestor know what she thought of that and he cringed. "I will give you a couple of days to think about it. Now, run along and don't be late for your dinner with Glorfindel."
Opening his eyes, Erestor again focused on the present. Celebrian had left the Hall of Fire and he was relieved. He'd not responded to her, nor had he said anything at all to anyone. He could not tell them of her proposition without revealing himself. With a sigh, he rose from his seat and sought his own rooms and much needed solitude.
"I would see my husband, Erestor." Celebrian marched in to Erestor's office the next morning and stood staring down at him.
Erestor bolted up from his chair in alarm. In the all the years Erestor had been Chief Advisor had Celebrian entered the offices occupied by Elrond and his aids. "My lady, forgive me, but your husband is in a meeting." He glanced towards the closed door. Glorfindel had gone in to the office over an hour ago. Though no sound was to be heard, Erestor was afraid to think of what might be going on behind the closed door.
Celebrian's head tilted. "Interrupt him."
Erestor swallowed. "I cannot do that, my lady. Perhaps you could return another time?"
The door behind Erestor opened and Elrond stepped out of his office. "That will not be necessary. Come in, Celebrian." He stepped aside for his wife. "Erestor, you are done here for the day. Please close the outer office door on your way out."
Erestor crept out of his office and closed the doors, leaving Elrond and his wife locked inside Elrond's office.
Elrond sat in his office and fumed. Celebrian's accusations had left him irritated and angry and vaguely uneasy. Faelon, answering the summons of his lover, knocked lightly on the door before entering the room.
"You sent for me?"
"Have you a sense that Erestor has a secret love?"
"I have the sense that he is celibate. I have never seen him take more than a polite interest in anyone, save perhaps you." Even as the words left Faelon's lips, a thought took over and it was all he could do to keep silent.
"Celebrian came to me today and informed me that he had been watching us and that he has even threatened her."
"What?"
"Her claim is that he has threatened to take our private lives before the High Council if she does not succumb to his wishes."
"What wishes are those?" Faelon's eyes darkened with a mixture of confusion and fury.
"That she share his bed."
"She claims this of Erestor?" He could not picture Erestor watching while he and Elrond made love any more than he could picture the Chief Advisor seeking the comfort of Celebrian's bed. Neither made sense, though his first niggling thought lingered.
"Faelon, leave me now and return to your duties. I have much to do."
Faelon rapped loudly with the back of his hand on Erestor's door and waited for the advisor to open it. He'd left Elrond's study in a huff and had not yet calmed himself. Part of him warned that he should wait and not over react, yet a part of him wanted to hurt Erestor.
As the door opened, he shoved his shoulder against the wooden portal and bullied his way in to the room. "Erestor," he snarled.
Taken aback, Erestor put distance between himself and the obviously enraged Chief Librarian. "How may I help you?"
Faelon glared at Erestor, uncertain if he wanted to bother with long drawn out speeches or just punch the advisor and be done with it. "Celebrian told Elrond you spied on us."
Erestor felt heat creep up his throat and wished the floor would open beneath his feet so that he could fall in to oblivion. "I apologize."
"You apologize?" Faelon was incredulous. "You spied on my lover and I and you are sorry? By the Valar,, Erestor, you are a cheeky one. I thought we were friends once."
"I said I was sorry, Faelon, there is nothing else I can do. I cannot change the past. I should not have, I know."
Faelon continued as if Erestor had not spoken at all. "You watched us, Erestor. That's disgusting."
Erestor hung his head at the condemnation. Of course Faelon would find the idea of being watched disgusting. He could say nothing in his defense.
"Now, I realize that you were not watching me." Erestor's head jerked up and Faelon sneered. "I promise you, Erestor, your games will not work."
"Games?"
Faelon's hand came out and connected with Erestor's cheek so sharply that the advisor's head rocked back.
"Do not toy with me, Erestor. I know you love Elrond and would try to take him away from me, given half the chance. That's why you watched us, isn't it?"
"No. Yes. I—"
"Stop it, Erestor. Know this. If you try to come between Elrond and me, I will kill you."
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