by Marcie
Chapter 5
The next morning Brooke was sitting in her office pouring over her notes on Proteus. It felt good for her to be busy, investigating something again. It helped take her mind off of Edmund and how much she missed him.
She was also feeling better physically. After Edmund left she had called Dr. Clayter's office to make her first appointment. The nurse- practitioner had suggested she eat small meals more often and not let her stomach get empty to control the nausea. She suggested ginger ale to help settle her stomach and snacking on saltines, and that seemed to have helped. There were still things that sent her running to the bathroom, certain smells, like eggs and fish, but for the most part she could keep food down. And she craved peanut butter and grape jelly toast, which she ate every night before bed to help stave off the hunger attacks that woke her in the middle of the night.
There was a knock on the door and she called, "Come in."
"Good morning beautiful." It was Jason with a big bouquet of flowers. "I'm so glad you're feeling better. These are for you."
"Oh, Jason. These are beautiful. But you already sent me flowers, this is too much. Thank you. I love them."
"One can never have too many flowers. I thought they might cheer you up. You seemed so sad the other day."
"Thank you, that was so thoughtful of you. They do cheer me up."
He watched her while she got a vase and put the flowers in. She did look better, not so pale, and she looked happier too. He wondered what had happened to cheer her up yesterday while she was home. He hoped it had something to do with him, she did look happy to see him and that made him feel good. "So, tell me what you have on Proteus and I'll tell you about my conversation with Chief Devane," he said.
It seemed she had quite a bit of information on Proteus that she had collected over the last year and a half. It was all very helpful to him and as she was going through her computer files he leaned over her to get a better look. Her hair smelled great and it felt good to be so close to her. He was going to enjoy working with her.
They both looked up when the door opened and Edmund walked in. "Brooke, I need to talk to you about something in private."
"Now? Can't it wait? I'm just going over my Proteus files with Jason," she said.
"That's okay. I'll just go get some coffee," Jason said.
"Okay. We won't be long, right Edmund?"
"Right. It won't take long."
Both men eyed each other as Jason got up to leave. Jason suspected this was the man who had broken Brooke's heart, but he wasn't certain. It was obvious Edmund didn't like him and was protective of Brooke. He knew they had been partners a long time, but this felt more personal than that. He would ask Brooke when he got the nerve, but in the meantime he wasn't going to interfere.
"I'll be back soon," he said as he closed the door.
Edmund stared at the door lost in thought. He did not like the looks of things when he had walked in on them. They had looked too comfortable together with Jason leaning over her, practically touching her. And Brooke hadn't done anything to dissuade him, was in fact enjoying it by the look on her face. And there was another bouquet of flowers on her desk.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked.
"You look like you're feeling better today. I'm glad," he said smiling at her.
"I am much better, thanks," she said.
They both sat down and she pulled out a saltine and some ginger ale.
"Since when did you start eating crackers and ginger ale?" he asked.
"The doctor recommended it as a way to settle my stomach. It's still a little queasy, but I'm much better now."
She hoped he wouldn't notice anything unusual about her. Now that she knew she was pregnant she felt like everyone could tell by looking at her. She knew now why her clothes were getting tight and she had started sporting the baggy look, hoping to hide her pregnancy for as long as possible. But she felt like people could look at her face and tell her secret. It was ironic that after feeling such relief when she finally told Edmund about Maria, she was now lying to him again.
"Brooke, I'll be honest. I'm worried about you investigating Proteus with Jason. I think you should leave the investigating to him and just supply him with your notes and things," he said.
"Edmund I know you're worried about me, but this is my job. For years you and I investigated things that were dangerous, sometimes together, sometimes not. Just because we were married briefly doesn't mean you can start telling me what things I should investigate and what things I shouldn't. It's difficult enough being partners together after everything that happened, but if we can't keep it professional it isn't going to work."
He knew she was right and he needed to stop loving her, but how could he just turn off feelings? It was tearing him apart, loving two women, and he didn't know how he was going to stop loving one of them. He thought with time his feelings for Brooke would eventually go away, especially after moving back in with Maria, but being with Maria only made him miss the things about Brooke that he loved. And they were so different, both physically and temperamentally, that it was easy to miss the things that made them both special.
"You're right I know, but we've always butted into each other's personal lives," he said with a smile.
She smiled too and it made her look radiantly beautiful. "I know we have, but now it just makes things too complicated." Her smile faded and she looked sad again.
Brooke thought about just how complicated things were now that she was pregnant. She would give anything if they could be together and raise this baby together, but she knew it was impossible. He would never leave Maria and if he did it would only be out of obligation to her. She just couldn't be happy with him under those circumstances and she knew he wouldn't be with her any other way.
"Brooke is Jason putting pressure on you to help him with this investigation? He seems to be spending a lot of time in your office." He looked at the bouquet of flowers and back to her trying to read her face.
"On the contrary. I've been putting pressure on him to involve me more. I need this story to keep me busy and give me something else to think about. I was tired of spending nights at home feeling sorry for myself." She looked at him accusingly or so he thought.
Just then someone knocked and Jason opened the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I was just checking to see if you wanted to go to lunch with me."
She smiled and said, "Yes, I'd love it. We're done, right Edmund?"
Edmund didn't answer and Jason said, "I'll wait for you downstairs in about 10 minutes. I just have to check one more thing."
"Okay," she said.
He left and closed the door.
"Is this a date?" Edmund asked.
"I like Jason, he's fun to be with, he makes me feel good and this is really none of your business. Even if Jason and I were sleeping together it would be none of your business."
She was exasperated with him and he knew it. He also knew this was none of his business, but he couldn't help himself.
"Brooke, you're vulnerable right now. Men like Jason take advantage of that."
"Men like Jason? How do you know what Jason is like? He has been nothing but kind to me. He hasn't forced himself on me, as far as I know he isn't even interested in me."
"What about the flowers?"
"What about them?"
"Brooke, men don't send flowers to women unless they want something more than friendship," he said.
She threw her hands up in exasperation. "What the hell do you care anyway? Why don't you just go butt your nose into your wife's business and leave me the hell alone?"
She grabbed her coat and stormed out of the room. Out in the hall she ran smack into Jason, who put his arms around her and said, "Woah, what happened? What's wrong?"
Just then Edmund came out of Brooke's office and said, "Brooke, please, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Edmund, just please leave me alone. I'm going to lunch now and I don't want to have this discussion anymore." To Jason she said, "Let's go, I'm really hungry."
Jason looked at Edmund smugly and said, "See ya pal!"
And he and Brooke walked away. Edmund was fuming. This guy just rubbed him the wrong way and he was obviously interested in Brooke. Why didn't she see it? Damn, he hoped she didn't get hurt again.
Meanwhile at BJ's Brooke and Jason had ordered lunch and were talking. Jason had a million jokes and had kept her laughing most of the way there. Now he was looking at her seriously. "This is none of my business," he said. "So if you don't want to talk about it please let me know. But I can't help notice you seem sad. And then what just happened with Edmund made me wonder. Were you two involved with each other?"
"We were married, briefly. It's a complicated story."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said.
She told him everything, how she went to Nevada and saw Maria. She explained how Maria was the love of Edmund's life and she was afraid of losing him so she lied. She told him about the wedding and the aftermath and how heartbroken she had been. She told him about their past and how they had almost gotten married before and she lost him that time too. It was cathartic, pouring her heart out to this total stranger. She told him how she had become the town pariah and how it had hurt Jamie. She told him how the guilt had nearly killed her and that in the beginning she felt like she wanted to die.
He sat and listened quietly and when she was done he wondered how she had survived it all. He thought she must have incredible strength to be able to sit across from him now and be functioning. Now he knew why she was so sad and it made him want to hold her. Instead he took her hand. "I'm so sorry," he said. "You must have incredible strength in order to have gone through that and still be able to work with him."
"Well, that may have been a mistake. I'm not sure we can work together. Now that we were married things have changed between us and it's been hard going back to just being friends."
"I don't think you can go back," he said quietly thinking of Edmund's protectiveness towards Brooke. He suspected Edmund wasn't over Brooke either, even though he had gone back to his wife. No wonder he had been so hostile toward Jason, it all made perfect sense now. Poor Brooke, she had really been through the wringer.
"So now you know the whole sordid story. Are you sorry you asked?" she laughed.
"No, not at all. It helps me understand where you're coming from."
She pulled her hand away and said,"The worst part is I still love Edmund."
Yeah, he was well aware of that. "Listen Brooke, I like you, a lot. I think you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met. And you're smart and strong. And I'd love to date you, but I make it a rule never to date women on the rebound." He smiled.
She laughed and said, "I'm not ready to date anyone right now."
"I know that," he said. "But I'm here for you when you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on or someone to make you laugh."
This time she reached for his hand. "Thank you Jason, that means a lot to me. I really do need a friend."
Just then their food arrived and ended their conversation. She decided she wouldn't tell him about the baby, maybe another time or maybe never. She really did like him and was glad that he wasn't pushing her into anything. But she wasn't ready to tell him about her pregnancy and she still didn't know where their relationship would go. She was taking life one day at a time.