by Marcie
Chapter four
Brooke sat staring at the home pregnancy test in horror. She had slept the sleep of the dead and woke with the sun streaming in the windows at 9:00 AM. The nausea was still there and she decided to rule out pregnancy before she made a doctor's appointment. She had gone to the store to pick up a home pregnancy test and now sat staring at the two dark pink lines. She had read the instructions over and over and what she realized was the tests sometimes miss pregnancies, but rarely is a positive wrong. She was probably pregnant. She sighed, "Edmund's baby."
She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She was pretty sure pregnancies at her age were rare and most likely rarer still for women with her fertility problems. She thought it was ironic that the times she had gotten pregnant were by men who were in love with someone else. She started to laugh, but couldn't see the humor.
:Damn," she thought. Six months ago she would've been thrilled to be pregnant with Edmund's child, now it made her heart ache. Not that she wasn't partly thrilled with the idea of another child and Edmund's child at that. But she didn't want to be a single parent again and she certainly didn't want to go through the heart ache of watching her child's father happily married to another woman again.
What would Edmund think? Would he be happy or angry? Would he accuse her of trying to trap him? Well, she certainly wasn't going to trap him with this pregnancy. Would he sue her for custody? She didn't think so, but then she had recently found out that what she thought about him wasn't always right. She also knew this would have pretty dreadful consequences on his fragile marriage to Maria.
He hadn't told her, but she could tell the adjustment to married life hadn't been easy. Maria didn't like the idea of his working so closely with her and Edmund just didn't seem as happy as he should. Brooke had mainly gotten over her guilt about lying to Edmund, and she believed that helping them get back together made up for a lot of it, but still she did not want to interfere in their marriage. She loved Edmund and desperately hoped he would be happy, even if it wasn't with her. She decided she would keep this little tidbit to herself while she decided what to do.
Just as she laid down to sleep some more the phone rang. "Hello," she said.
"Brooke, it's me." It was Edmund. She suddenly felt terrified that somehow he knew, that maybe he had e.s.p. or something and was calling to tell her he knew she was pregnant and wanted to know what she was going to do about it.
She willed herself to be calm and said, "Hi. What's up?"
I'm calling to see how you are," he said.
"I'm fine, really. I'm sure it's just a bug and some rest and chicken soup will cure it in no time." How easy it had been to lie to him again, she thought with dread. Her stomach rolled at the thought of chicken soup and she swallowed.
"I'm glad you're feeling better. I need your signature on something today. Can I come by later, like in about an hour?" He asked.
What she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and pull the covers over her head and sleep until she could figure out what to do, but instead she said, "Okay. I'll be expecting you then."
Edmund hung up the phone and stared at his computer screen. Brooke had sounded funny on the phone, guarded, like she was upset that he had called. He couldn't really blame her, he had treated her horribly after Maria came back and he was filled with remorse. When he thought about the strength it must've taken for her to work on that amnesia story with him, knowing the outcome would be having her heart broken, he wanted to cry. He couldn't believe how callous he had been. He had just been so angry at her and fixated on Maria he hadn't thought about anything else. It had taken Jamie to make him realize how much he had hurt her.
Jamie had come by Wildwind one day shortly after he and Brooke had started working on the story together. He was furious and accused Edmund of treating Brooke like she was something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He reminded Edmund that he promised he would do everything he could to make Brooke happy. He had looked at Edmund with disgust and stormed out, without even giving him a chance to speak. It was then that Edmund realized just how much pain Brooke was in. He began to notice the depression she was in and realized how deeply she had buried that pain. Just like she always did when she was in pain, she took on his pain and made it her own. She had always hated dealing with her own pain and he should've realized this sooner. It had finally allowed him to forgive her totally and that had led to their revived friendship and eventually the lovemaking. God he missed her.
Then he thought about Maria. He had been late getting home because of taking Brooke home and Maria was not happy. His marriage to Brooke had brought back all of Maria's insecurities about Brooke like it was nine years ago. He had to give Maria credit, she had been very understanding when he said he had no intention of dissolving his partnership with Brooke, but it still bothered her when he did things for Brooke that didn't involve Tempo. He'd also realized since moving in with Maria that she was just not the same and neither was he. They were both uncomfortable sometimes and things just didn't feel natural the way they used to, the way they had with Brooke. Suddenly he couldn't wait to see Brooke and he grabbed the papers he wanted her to sign and ran out the door.
Brooke heard the doorbell ring and thought it was Edmund. She was still in her bathrobe, but she just didn't have the strength to shower and get dressed. Edmund was going to have to take her as is, she hoped he wouldn't stay long. She had managed to eat a little breakfast, but it was only barely staying down and she needed to lie down.
She opened the door and saw a huge bouquet of flowers and a delivery woman. "Are you Brooke English?" The woman asked.
"Yes. Are these for me?" Brooke asked.
"Just sign here." She said.
Brooke signed and took the flowers inside. It was a huge bouquet of pink roses. She set them down on the table and looked at the card. "To a beautiful woman, inside and out. I hope you feel better soon. I need your help. Jason"
"How sweet," she thought and smiled. She couldn't remember the last time anyone gave her roses and she was touched. She thought again about Jason. He was extremely handsome and fun to be with, but she just wasn't ready for a relationship yet and now with her pregnancy, well, who was going to want a woman who was pregnant with another man's child? Her life had always been a mess.
The doorbell rang again and this time it was Edmund. She opened the door and he strolled in like he owned the place. "I'm sorry to bother you at home when you're sick, but these really couldn't wait." He stopped dead when he saw the flowers. "Who are these from?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but he was sure he didn't.
"Oh, they're from Jason. You remember the man who's working on the Proteus story with me."
Edmund remembered alright. He remembered the defiant look Jason had given him in Brooke's office as well as the protective arm he had wrapped around Brooke. He began to feel angry. "Is this guy hitting on you? The last thing you need right now is some guy moving in on you when you're vulnerable," he said bitterly.
"Well, I really don't think this is any of your business and I can certainly take care of myself thank you very much," she was angry.
She was right, this wasn't any of his business. He had no right to say anything about her life, she had completely stayed out of his. But he couldn't help it, he had watched her get hurt so many times and now he had hurt her the worst. And there was something irritating about the guy, he was arrogant and confident and Edmund thought he was just the kind of guy who would hurt her in the end. "Brooke, I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry into your business. I'm just worried about you that's all.
"Edmund, please don't worry about me. I'm fine and I can take care of myself, really. Now do you have those papers for me to sign?"
"Oh, yeah, they're right here." He looked at her while she read over the papers. She was so beautiful and he loved the robe she was wearing. He loved the way it hugged her body and showed off all her curves. The top of her robe was open enough to let him see her nightgown and part of her breasts. He wanted to carry her up the stairs and spend the day making love to her.
Suddenly, she dropped the papers and ran from the room. He wondered for a minute if she somehow knew what he was thinking. But then he could hear her vomiting in the bathroom. There went all his thoughts of romance, but now he wanted to take care of her.
When she came back she looked pale. He suddenly felt overwhelming sadness about what had happened between them. He hated that she was alone and was having to go through this without him. In the past they had always been there for one another during heartbreaks, this was the first time he hadn't been there for her.
"Brooke, go up to bed and I'll bring you some tea. It'll make you feel better," he said.
She didn't have the strength to argue so she said, "Okay, thanks Edmund." And went up to bed. While she waited for her tea she thought about the baby growing inside her. She hadn't really had a chance to take it all in yet and she felt awed as she had when she had been pregnant with Jamie. Now she knew why her emotions had been all over the place, those hormones were raging. Even though the situation wasn't ideal, she was still exited about the baby and she already loved him or her. She wondered if it would look like Edmund.
Just then he came in with her tea. He was right it was just what she needed. She thought how handsome he was and how much she loved him, and the pain was so real and so powerful she was afraid she might cry.
"Brooke, I just want you to know I'm truly sorry about the way I treated you when I found out you lied about Maria. I don't have any excuse, but I..."
"Edmund, don't. Let's just put it behind us and move on. We're both sorry and now it's time to forget it."
He loved her more in that moment than he ever had. He just couldn't believe he had walked away from her love. She looked so sad and frail and he desperately wanted to hold her, but he couldn't. That wouldn't have been fair to either one of them, so he just said, "I need to get back to the office."
"Okay. Thanks for bringing the papers by and making me tea. You're right it did help. I'm planning on being there tomorrow, hopefully I'll feel better by then."
"Well, don't feel like you have to come in. I can take care of things as long as you need me to," he said.
"I know, but I'd like to get to work on that story with Jason."
That was just what he didn't want to hear and it immediately put him in a bad mood again. He wasn't going to talk about it now, but he was definitely going to let her know he didn't like it one bit. It was too dangerous and he didn't like Jason. But for now he would let it be. "Good bye Brooke."
"Good bye Edmund."