By Marcie
Brooke was standing at the altar with the man of her dreams. She couldn't believe they were actually going to get married. But when she heard the vows he had written, it all suddenly came flooding back. The memories of her talking with Maureen Gorman, the sense of d�j� vu she had when she saw her, and she knew she couldn't recite her vows without telling Edmund about Maureen.
She had almost totally blocked the whole episode from her mind, but now it was back, vividly. She knew she had to tell Edmund and it couldn't wait until after they were married. If she was Maria a marriage wouldn't be legal anyway. But regardless of that she had no choice. Her damn conscience just wouldn't let her say vows in front of God with a lie hanging between them.
She felt tears spring to her eyes as she looked into Edmund's face and she dropped his hand. He looked at her in shock! She felt terrible about hurting him this way, but what choice did she have? She turned and ran blindly down the aisle and out the door, tears streaming down her face and practically tripping on her dress.
She ran into the mausoleum and stood, sobbing. She heard a noise and turned and saw Edmund, standing at the door. He was looking at her in disbelief and pain, she didn't know what to say. "Brooke, honey, what is it? What's wrong?", he said. "Oh, Edmund, I can't marry you. I've been keeping something from you."
"What, what is it? Have you changed your mind? You don't love me anymore?"
"Edmund, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I want to marry you more than anything else in the world, but I can't, not when I haven't been honest with you," she sobbed.
He came and put his arms around her. She breathed in the smell of him and collapsed against him. He held her while he waited for her to get herself under control. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her. She wiped her eyes with it and turned to look at him. He was so handsome in his suit and she wanted so badly to kiss him, make love to him, right here in the mausoleum. She had never wanted him as badly as she did right now.
But instead she turned her back on him and took a few steps away. She took a deep breath and turned back to face him. It was now or never. She had never been so afraid in her life as she was right this moment. Everything they had together was hanging in the balance, their love, their friendship, their business partnership. It could all be gone after she told him the truth.
"I didn't tell you everything about my trip to Nevada," she said.
"There's more? About Tad you mean?"
"No. About Maureen Gorman".
"What about her? What haven't you told me Brooke?"
She looked into his eyes and saw fear. She realized he was afraid of losing her. It would've been funny if she didn't know she was going to lose him. The pain returned and she felt tears spring to her eyes again. He loved her so much and she had betrayed him. Even though she had been in denial most of the time, she had still betrayed him. She didn't think he would ever forgive her.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks and spoke. "Edmund, when I went to Nevada I saw Maureen Gorman. I talked to her."
"You told me that already Brooke. You said you spoke to her and she wasn't Maria."
"I spoke to her and she TOLD me she wasn't Maria. I asked her if she had been in an accident and she said, 'no'. I told her I thought she might be Maria and she said she had grown up in Northern California, not Texas."
"Yes, so Maureen Gorman grew up in Northern California."
"I think she was lying to me Edmund. I think Maureen Gorman might be Maria and I didn't tell you," she began to cry then. "I couldn't tell you because I was so afraid of losing you and I didn't want it to be true. Then I just blocked it out of my mind and convinced myself it wasn't true. But when you kept talking about how honest I was, I just couldn't deny it anymore. I'm so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"
"Brooke, I'm confused. I don't understand what you're telling me. You think Maureen Gorman is Maria and you've been keeping this from me for weeks? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yes!"
"Oh my God. Brooke, what makes you think she's Maria? I thought Tad saw her too and said she couldn't be Maria."
"Tad saw a different woman. I saw her too at first, but then I bumped into Maria. The first time I went to Nevada, I followed her to that motel where you found Tad and I. Tad never saw her that time, only I did. It was so hot there and I hadn't eaten anything and when I did see her I was beginning to faint, so I just wasn't sure what I was seeing."
"You fainted? You didn't tell me that. What happened next?" he asked.
"Tad helped me back to the room, but he didn't realize I'd seen her. Then you showed up and things got all mixed up because when I started to tell you the story Tad jumped in and started to make up a story. I was confused, sick, and because I fainted I wasn't sure I was seeing clearly. At that point I didn't want to bring up all the hurt and pain from the past for nothing."
"My God, Brooke. I could've helped you. You should've told me. We've always been able to share everything before. Why not this time?"
"Don?t you see? I thought I would lose you. I lost you once before Edmund, I couldn't stand to lose you again. I just kind of lost my mind, I guess. I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't WANT to believe she could be Maria, so I convinced myself she wasn't. Then Tad kept trying to convince me it was my imagination and even you said that and after a while I began to believe it. Because I wanted so badly to believe that it wasn't her."
"Brooke, how could it be Maria? You saw the crash, you saw her go over the cliff. She couldn't have survived."
He walked over to her and turned her so she was facing him. He was searching her face for some kind of clue about what she was thinking, what she was going through. He could see turmoil and pain in her face and he hated it. But he also had to know if this woman could possibly be Maria.
"Tell me everything about this Maureen Gorman. I need to know everything Brooke," He said gently.
"Edmund she looks exactly like Maria, same body type, same voice, same face. She's older and heavier, but basically the same. She claims she is not Maria, she told me she was not in an accident, and that she grew up in Northern California, not Texas. She was very agitated and wanted me to leave her alone. She said she would call the police if Tad and I didn't leave her alone. I had the impression she was lying to me. But instead of following up on her I just let it drop."
"Did she know who you were?"
"No. I told her, but she didn't look like she knew who I was. If it's Maria she must have amnesia."
Neither one of them spoke as they let this information sink in. Edmund was being bombarded with emotions. He was angry and sad that Brooke didn't tell him. He was excited that it might be Maria. He was afraid that he was going to lose Brooke. He was confused as to what to do next. He looked at Brooke and she looked about as miserable as a person could look. He suddenly felt overwhelming sadness for her, for what she must've gone through, all alone in Nevada. He remembered the deep well of pain he had fallen into when Alex went back to Dimitri. He thought he was going to die and he had lost his mind then too. But it was Brooke who had brought him back from that pit of sadness. It was always Brooke who had been there for him when he thought he couldn't go on. Now he was going to be there for her. Come hell or high water, he wasn't going to let her down when she needed him most. "Brooke, you know we've got to find out for sure don't you?" He said softly.
"Yes. I know. What's going to happen now Edmund? Can you ever forgive me for lying to you and to Sam and Maddie? I don't deserve you or them."
"Brooke, there's nothing to forgive. I understand about temporary insanity, it's happened to me many times. You remember when we first met how crazy I was, and then when Alex left me you got me out of the mental hospital, remember?
"Yes, I remember." She laughed a little. "How could I forget how you tore my life up with your craziness?"
"And now you're tearing mine up with yours. It's only fair you know."
"So where do we go from here?" She asked.
"Well, we're going to do what we do best. We're going to find Maureen Gorman, find out if she's Maria and bring her home if she is. But first there's something we need to do."
"What's that?"
"Get married. The priest and our guests are waiting. Come on future Mrs. Grey. Let's go get hitched."
He took her hand and started to walk out of the mausoleum. She tugged on his arm and he stopped and looked at her. "I love you so much Edmund." He put his arms around her and kissed her passionately.