| On my way to finishing Soft Beginnings 5, something strange happened to me. When I�m at home, I usually write to music. So I�m sitting there, listening to my *coughs* eccentric collection, and one song catches my eye. So I listen to it�� and listen again�� and listen AGAIN and AGAIN until Tomanaiya came in to yell at me for give her a headache with �that stupid shit�. I�m obsessive like that. I couldn�t help it; as the music flowed past my ears, I could almost hear the words for this fic whispered along with it. So here goes. The song is �No More Words� by Berlin and was popular sometime into the late 80�s. Kinda pop-sounding but not enough to distract from the message. You wanna hear it, email and I�ll try to get it to you. Otherwise, have a ball while I go finish Soft Beginnings 5 before THEY show up at my door with pitchforks and torches�� Title: No More Words Author: Lady DarkAngel [email protected] Archive: Lady DarkAngel's Gundam Wing Fanfiction Library www.geocities.com/ladydarkangel_1/index.html, Darkflame�s (if she�ll take it�.) and anywhere else is fine, just ask me first Category: POV, Angst Pairing(s): Read and find out. Well, at least who one of them is�� Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or Shinkidousenki Gundam Wing is copyrighted and trademarked by Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency and associated parties with all rights and privileges. The characters were used without permission for the purposes of entertainment only. This is not meant for sale of profit. Any characters not created by those listed above are mine and hereby considered the sole property and copyright of the author. Anyway, I�m just a poor college student. So can I play with them? I promise I won�t break them�...much. Rating: PG Warnings: Ah, just a dose of reality, most. Minor language, depressed realizations and ponderings. Feedback: Kami-sama, YES!!! [email protected]; any and all comments are welcome like the sweet ego-sustainers they are. {You're talking, it all sounds fair You promise your love, how much you care I'm still listening, but still unsure Your actions are lacking, nothing is clear} How many times have you told me you loved me? Too many to count, that�s for damn sure. You whisper it to me every chance you get, your delicate words tickling my ears along with your breath. They carry promises of eternal devotion that wrap me up tighter then your arms, caress me in the night at the same time your fingers do. You say you�ll never leave me, you�ll treasure me forever, I�m the only one, I�m your heart and soul, ai shiteru. Beautiful words, priceless words, sacred words, words I would have killed and died for not too long ago to hear like this. Words I sold my soul for. Eternal words�� But you know what? That�s all they are. Just words. Nothing is behind them. {No more words You're telling me you love me while you're looking away No more words No more words and no more promises, no} You never look me in the eyes anymore. When you talk to me and promise me forever, you can�t say it to my face. Your eyes, those beautiful orbs I adore gazing into, won�t turn my way. Do you even see me? When you talk, are you talking to me? Are you talking to the me that was or the me that you hold in mind? Or are you talking to someone else entirely? I�m not sure. I haven�t been sure for a long time now. All I know is that once upon a time, you couldn�t have ripped your eyes away from me to save your ass from being shot off. I was the ultimate prize, the thing you absolutely had to have, the sweetest treat in the candy store. I was the treasure you begged the heavens to be able to keep. What? Did you get tired of me already? {Remember when the words were new They carried a meaning, feeling so true Well I'm looking for a long romance Not a picture of passion, a one-time chance} Words have power. Incredible power. Maybe you don�t know or understand that yet and I�m reading into this more then I should but�� but somehow I doubt that. I think you know exactly what you�re saying. After all, words are your forte, aren�t they? You talk and talk and talk but you never actually say anything, do you? Shimatta. When we first got together, when you chose me�� I nearly cried when I first heard you say you loved me. I wanted it for so long; someone to care for me, love me, protect me, hold me deep into the night. Never in my life had I felt so safe�� so wanted. I had hoped that you�d cared for me but I was so unsure. No, I was insecure. There�s a difference. I didn�t believe that you�d want me. But you did. And for three years, I've been the happiest person in the universe. I had my beloved and that was all I needed. I heard a miracle at least once a day when those sweet lips grazed mine with their undying declarations. We had the perfect relationship. We were friends, we were lovers, we were romantic, and damn me if I didn�t think we were soulmates. We were the storybook romance come to life with just enough reality to survive. Yes, we fought but we always made up within the hour. We never intentionally hurt each other. We were in love. We WERE love. Or so I believed. {No more words You're telling me you love me while you're looking away No more words No more words and no more promises, no} When did you stop looking at me? Now that I think about it, it�s been sometime since your eyes locked with mine. You just toss off an �ai shiteru� in my direction like you throw Cheerios at ducks in a pond. You don�t care if they land nearby, you don�t even have to aim. Because you know damn well the duck is desperate enough to chase after it so the amount of effort you put into your throw doesn�t matter. All that matters is that you gave, what happens afterwards is not your concern. What if I were to say I don�t feel like going after them? What if I were to tell you I don�t want your compliments and your fancy phrases? What if I told you I want your love and not your words? You�d smile an empty smile and say a hollow �I love you�, that�s what you�d do. {But don't fool yourself Your empty passion won't satisfy me, I know So don't pretend you want me You don't want me NO!} How the hell am I supposed to explain to you what I see? This isn�t love. Not now. Maybe it never was. You�re so�� I don�t want to say cold. Because you�re not. You still treat me with the same concern you did before. You�re not cruel or remote or unfeeling towards me. We�re still friends; we still talk hours into the night. Even the sex is as good as it ever was. But the passion that was there before, that glorious feeling of elation that threatened to consume us alive�� it�s gone. And I�m not sure it�s coming back. You love me, but you�re not in love with me anymore. Does that make any sense to you? The arms that hold me don�t feel the same, the kisses are so different from when we started out that if I close my eyes, I can easily pretend they�re being given to me by someone else. That scares me. Does that happen to you? Are you pretending like I am? Pretending that nothing is wrong? Or maybe pretending that I *am* someone else. That hurts so bad; the idea that you don�t want me anymore�� {No more words You're telling me you love me while you're looking away No more words No more words and no more promises, no} It�s getting to the point where I�m seriously considering leaving. Yes, you heard me. I�m going to leave you. I don�t want to but if that�s what it takes to get rid of the feeling of being used�� Because that�s basically what you�re doing to me. You�re using me, whether you mean to or not. I love you just as much as I did before. You�re the one who can�t even look me in the face when you tell me I�m the source of your happiness. I can�t live like this anymore. You really are the keeper of my heart. If you don�t want the position, though, I can�t force you and I won�t stay where I�m not wanted. {We make love, it's all the same Your eyes show nothing, no lover's flame Well don't promise we can work it out You can leave right now if you're feeling doubt} If you�d just show me a spark of the flame we had before�� The smallest hint that you still love me and I�ll stay. But no more words. Damnit, not another sound better come out of that mouth of yours. Seeing is believing. Show me. Show me your eyes. Eyes are the windows to the soul. Why won�t you let me in anymore? What are you afraid I�ll see? What are you afraid I *won�t* see? The only time I get a glimpse of them is when we�re making love. Only then, if I�m quick enough, I can see those lovely pools of liquid emotion. But you shut them so fast, love. You don�t want me to look, to see�� Our love isn�t love. It�s something else. We�re too intimate to be just friends, we�re too caring to be fuckbuddies, we�re too close to be casual lays. We live together, eat together, work together, sleep together, do everything together. We are husbands in the sight of the Gods and the state. We are a family, we are a unit, we are lovers�� but we are not in love. No longer, not for some time. Why? {No more words You're telling me you love me while you're looking away No more words No more words and no more promises, no} Prove it to me. Do something, ANYTHING. Try. Please try. Show me I�m worth the effort in your mind. Give me the benefit of my doubts and prove me wrong. I�m not asking for much; I just want more then words can provide. I want you to look at me when you say your spiel. I want to see your eyes. I want you to love me again. I want it to be the way it was before. I want my lover back, not the man I see every day who tells me I�m the sexiest thing on the face of the planet. Give me more! Show me you mean it! Give me proof that you feel the same things you say, that it�s not just words. Because if you can�t�� if you won�t�� {No more words and no more promises No more words and no more promises��} Damnit, Duo. Don�t do this to me anymore�� Don�t make me leave�� ~ ~ Owari ~ ~ *reviews fic* Well, that didn�t turn out *too* badly. So what do you think, minna? Lady DarkAngel ---------- �Neesan to Misuzu and A-chan Chibi Duo's Babysitter Moderator of Duo's Sugar Intake Keeper of Duo's Nice Rear-end Co-Keeper of Shinigami's Wings (with Meela) Keeper of Heero's Homicidal Intentions Keeper of Quatre's Teacup Keeper of Trowa's Mask Keeper of Wufei's Sense of Honor Co-Keeper of Duo's Chatter (with Tomanaiya) Co-Keeper of Heero's "Hn" (with Tomanaiya) Co-Writer of Wufei's Rants (with Tomanaiya) Leader of the Inspirationally-challenged Muses: Alisande, Rynvi, and Kiagara Co-Keeper of real-life hamsters named Heero Yuy (Hee-chan) and Shinigami Eagle Vision (Shini Eagle)(with Tomanaiya) Keeper of the Hit List Proud Owner of two sets of chibis: Chibi Angel Duo and Heero in leather (twins of Tomanaiya's) and Chibi Angel Duo and Heero in black flight gear with stripes from the final GW episodes Acting GOD in Charge of The Anime Muse Adoption Center and WSCT of the AMAC Proud member of SDDI, the Society of Defending Duo's Intelligence Member of the Society Against the Complete Bastardization of Heero Yuy Occupant of the Happy Hentai House Master Hacker of the Shinigami Organization Assistant Mob Psychologist for the Shinigami Organization Founding Member of Saa-EEP!!! Happy to be a member of the DuoML Member of 1x2, 2x1 Fan Club and ML Many more MLs but you don't want to know... Lady DarkAngel's Gundam Wing Fanfiction Library www.geocities.com/ladydarkangel_1/index.html |