| Another to add to the Yaritori- The Letter Series, this one deals with one of the more celebrated facets of GW fandom: the Relena Finds Out moment. Once again, anyone who had read this series through knows how it will go but�� ah, hell. Have a laugh on me. God knows we all need one. P.S. I finally got around to typing this up. I�ve had this chapter in my binder since the Time to Tell came out! I am such a damn slacker�� Title: Duo and the Harridan 1/3? Author: Lady DarkAngel [email protected] Archive: Lady DarkAngel's Gundam Wing Fanfiction Library http://ladydarkangel_1.homestead.com/Main.html, Darkflame's (if she'll take it.) and anywhere else is fine, just ask me first Category: Humor, Sap Pairing(s): 1x2, 3x4 Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or Shinkidousenki Gundam Wing is copyrighted and trademarked by Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency and associated parties with all rights and privileges. The characters were used without permission for the purposes of entertainment only. This is not meant for sale of profit. Any characters not created by those listed above are mine and hereby considered the sole property and copyright of the author. Anyway, I'm just a poor college student. So can I play with them? I promise I won't break them...much. Rating: PG-13 for the language alone! Notes: I don�t hate Relena. I *don�t*! I actually kinda respect her in a vague way and VASTLY prefer Nice Relena fics to Bitchy Relena ones. So why did I write one? Well, I have to admit, it�s a great way to advance the plot. It�s also fun to make her a stark-raving psycho. Bitches make good villains and bishies make good victims. ^-^ Warnings: Lets see here- language, delusional Relena, language, violence, language, gay insults, LANGUAGE. Seriously, I did my best to make her sound as offensive as possible. Virgin ears stay away or ask me and I�ll send you a bleeped version or something. I refuse to get flamed over this! Feedback: Kami-sama, YES!!! [email protected]; any and all comments are welcome like the sweet ego-sustainers they are. It was a lovely spring day, the deep snows of winter had finally melted away and warmth was beginning to creep back into the world. Peace spread across the land and it was not just Mother Nature�s doing for once. Mariemaia�s revolution had been defeated and the fragile peace of the past year grew solid and strong until it was a tangible presence under the warm March sun. Weaponry was dismantled, soldiers returned home to their waiting families or made new ones and humanity tired out these glorious new feelings of freedom and cooperation. It was a good time to be alive. Especially if your name was Duo Maxwell. He bounced around the safehouse � no, just a house now, since all houses were theoretically now safe. He was brimming with delighted energy, radiating waves of joyful excitement. He was running around, laughing like a three-year-old and grinning like the fool he supposedly was. He�d been like this for days, since his darling Heero had been returned to him. He�d feared the worst after watching Wing Zero shatter to pieces like that, but his koi�s arrival at Hilde�s scarp yard was a wonderful indication otherwise. Peace was theirs and he hadn�t lost his lover, his Heero. But that was not the best news. Oh hell, no, not by a long shot. Heero had named a date. *FINALLY*!! After months of delays (intentional and otherwise), Heero had remained his fianc�e and not his husband proper. But no longer. Now there were no threats left to worry about, they no longer had to put it off for fear of war destroying their relationship. To lose a lover is one thing, a finacee worse, but to lose a husband? Someone you swore your soul to, pledged everything to till that terrible �death do you part�? That had to be the worst kind of pain. But with the hard-earned peace finally reverberating from the World Nation to the farthest colony and beyond, now was the time to forget those fears and embrace the future whole-heartedly. A brand new world order was formed and not the nasty kind people had feared for so long. The world decided to give peace a chance and ended up loving the results. Duo certainly knew that he loved the results. He hummed loudly as he skipped down the hall towards the living room. He was expecting Heero back any day now. His beloved had taken off, for reasons he refused to explain. The haunted look that had flickered like a shadow across his eyes when he had intoned the cheap excuse of �unfinished business� was enough to tell Duo that this was personal and had to be done alone. After receiving assurances that he would be fine and never in any danger, Duo had reluctantly let him go. He had a feeling that his love was seeking redemption, like before when he killed the doves in the war and that he would not be able to heal without making some sort of physical gesture of sorrow and apology. Duo more than understood that, just as he understood that he couldn�t come with him. It hurt but that�s the way it had to be. Heero had left over a month ago and had finally called on Sunday. To say that he was coming home. They�d stayed on the comm for over 12 hours, talking about anything and everything except Heero�s current �mission�. Duo never did find out where he was, only that he was safe and returning within the week. He�d chattered on almost mindlessly, so glad to see his koi again that he�d say anything to keep his face on the screen. Heero had interrupted his little tirade at the end about how Socrates doesn�t knew shit about government rights (1) with that little smile of his and asked Duo what he thought of May. Confused, Duo said it was a very nice month with lotsa flowers. Heero asked if it was nice enough for a wedding. Duo�s jaw fell open and managed to stutter a yes. Heero smiled and agreed, saying May�s beautiful flowers would compliment Duo and his outfit perfectly. Duo nearly passed out. They set the date as May 28, two months, one week and six days from now. To say the he was ecstatic would be one hell of an understatement. Everyone else was thrilled too. Quatre let at a war whoop that could be heard for miles around as he tackled Duo to the ground, shrieking his joy for his friends out on the top of his lungs. Wufei, fresh from his first Preventers mission, had to extract his friend from the blonde�s over-anxious clutches lest he die of asphyxiation before the glorious day. Wufei had the biggest smile on his face and could be heard muttering to himself in Chinese, something about justice is for those who earn it. Trowa hadn�t participated in the Tackle-Duo-fest (which appears to have become a custom with them), but was instead indulging in his newest hobby, laughing out loud. It was a perfect time to practice and he laughed till tears formed in his eyes, his own delight for Heero and Duo finally finding a voice. Of course, Quatre *insisted* on planning everything out and paying for all the expenses. He got a list of preferences for Duo and a few favorites from Heero as well to pass along to his sisters. He had stood in the kitchen with his hands on his hips and looked every inch the proper Heir as he loftily declared that there would be nothing but the best for his friends in this matter. That it was his sacred duty to see to that. Duo�s protestations fell on deaf ears as the three other pilots began plotting out the nitty-gritty parts. The braided boy discovered to his utter horror that there was MUCH more then saying a heartfelt �I do� and kissing in front of your family and friends at the end of a tear-jerking ceremony. His eyes had stared to glaze over as they listed all the things that needed to be done beforehand: caterers, reservations, guest lists, food choices, color choices, flower choices, music choices, location choices, motif choices, choices choices CHOICES!! In the end, he agreed with Quatre�s logic and left it all up to the adoring Winner sisters who were absolutely *ecstatic* over the prospect of planning such a vast, fancy and romantic affair. To them it was kind of like playing with live Barbies. Well, make that extremely kawaii and bish Kens. But as long as Duo and Heero had final say (and the braided one a body guard to save him from cheek-pinching, glomping females), they were safe. Arriving in the living room, Duo stopped to sniff the latest arrival of flowers. Bouquets had been pouring in from all over the world since Quatre had issued a press release about the upcoming nuptials. Even the enormous Winner mansion they were currently staying in had two-thirds of its rooms filled with blossoms and the air was filled with the scent of flowers both wild and domestic. It was a wonderful sign of the state the world was in; that its people were more then willing to bury two of their saviors alive in bouquets to celebrate an event some still found questionable. While perfectly legal and accepted by most of society, homosexuality was still an anathema to some, let alone same-sex marriages. It wouldn�t be an easy road, but it was one that was well worth traveling. Duo had absolutely no qualms about it and knew his love felt the same way. Sunlight glittered on glass and flooded the living room with bright light. The bay windows were wide open, a gentle sweet breeze wafting around the room. A sense of openness and peace graced the room and Duo sighed in pleasure. Such a lovely day. He happily perched on the window seat and admired the scenery. Heero would be home soon. He would be married soon. Everything was going to be alright from now on. Nothing could possibly ruin it now�� �HEEEEE~RRRROOOO!!!!� Expect that. Duo scowled. <Well, there goes the neighborhood. What the hell is *she* doing here?! ��. Never mind. I *know* why she�s here. Sonuvabitch, this ain�t gonna be pretty for anyone.> With that, he nimbly jumped down and stormed off to confront the demon. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Relena skipped up to the house with a delighted (and rather foolish-looking) grin on her face. She had finally found him. Heero had vanished from the hospital she took him to after that terrible incident in Luxembourg and it had taken her this long to locate him. Her eyes glazed over slightly as she remembered holding him in the ruins of Mariemaia�s base. He was so warm in her arms, so strong and yet so fragile as well. Her poor Heero had been so battered and bruised, covered in dirt and blood and so very weak. She�d been afraid he might die. But he stayed strong and recovered, faster then she ever thought possible. Of course, there was all that regrettable confusion he seemed to be suffering from. He kept mumbling about Duo, how he needed to contact him, see him, be with him. She had been a bit distressed at first (she never did care for that long-haired person, after all), but the doctor had explained that he was suffering from the aftereffects of the battle and that he was merely concerned for his partners� welfare. Dear Heero, he cared more for others then he let on, that he required others with him. That gave her hope. When he would finally let go of that terrible Soldier mentality he insisted on carrying about and let his humanity out, let himself be normal, he would need her to catch him and she would do it gladly. Relena had felt an overwhelming sense of joy under her concern for her beloved. He had needed her once. He would need her again. He loved her. There could be no question about it. Why else would he let her hold him like that when he was bleeding and so very vulnerable? He was proud and strong, and thought he required no one. Well, now he knew he was wrong. He needed people. He needed her. And now that he knew this inescapable truth, they would finally be together. Forever. Theirs was a fairy tale existence trapped in reality�s cruel clutches. Heero, the handsome knight in shining armor, the honorable warrior who fought valiantly to protect the defenseless innocents and the one he loved even though he secretly detested war and sold his soul to do his job. Relena, the beautiful true princess, the one who will rule justly and save all the people of the Earthsphere, the perfect lady who will bring love and life to the rescue of her beloved and be adored with him for all time. A perfect marriage, with perfect children, in a world of their own creating. It was fate, destiny. The reward paid for by their suffering and sacrifices and their souls stained a grisly red by too much bloodshed and war. It was time for the happy ending. She approached the house with all the confidence bred into her by the royal blood in her veins. She had every right to be here, after all. Her Heero was present and that entitled her to free passage. The former Queen of the World brazenly strode up the front stairs, heedless of the cries and frantic gestures of the security staff (who upon recognizing her, realized they couldn�t shoot on sight and were forced to use less drastic measures) at the gate and reached for the doorknob. The door was thrown open, however, before she could touch it. The sight it revealed was not a pleasant one at all. Not pleasant in the slightest. Duo Maxwell stood framed in the doorway prepared for battle, a frown etched deeply in his face. (TBC��) *stands ready in her Anti-Thwapping Armor* Ok minna-san, do your worst! *turns to see muses flee in fear* Uh oh, that can�t be a good sign��. (1) I had this ugly argument in Philosophy class. Tacit agreement works, my ass! And guess what, I won! ^.~ My teach wasn�t too happy about that�� Lady DarkAngel ---------- �Neesan to Misuzu and A-chan Chibi Duo's Babysitter Moderator of Duo's Sugar Intake Keeper of Duo's Nice Rear-end Co-Keeper of Shinigami's Wings (with Meela) Keeper of Heero's Homicidal Intentions Keeper of Quatre's Teacup Keeper of Trowa's Mask Keeper of Wufei's Sense of Honor Co-Keeper of Duo's Chatter (with Tomanaiya) Co-Keeper of Heero's "Hn" (with Tomanaiya) Co-Writer of Wufei's Rants (with Tomanaiya) Leader of the Inspirationally-challenged Muses: Alisande, Rynvi, and Kiagara Co-Keeper of real-life hamsters named Heero Yuy (Hee-chan) and Shinigami Eagle Vision (Shini Eagle)(with Tomanaiya) Keeper of the Hit List Proud Owner of two sets of chibis: Chibi Angel Duo and Heero in leather (twins of Tomanaiya's) and Chibi Angel Duo and Heero in black flight gear with stripes from the final GW episodes Acting GOD in Charge of The Anime Muse Adoption Center and WSCT of the AMAC Proud member of SDDI, the Society of Defending Duo's Intelligence Member of the Society Against the Complete Bastardization of Heero Yuy Occupant of the Happy Hentai House Master Hacker of the Shinigami Organization Assistant Mob Psychologist for the Shinigami Organization Founding Member of Saa-EEP!!! Happy to be a member of the DuoML Member of 1x2, 2x1 Fan Club and ML Many more MLs but you don't want to know... Lady DarkAngel's Gundam Wing Fanfiction Library http://ladydarkangel_1.homestead.com/Main.html |