Now...on with the thoughts...if you honestly want to see them...
you've got some nerve haven't you trying to be god excuse me you don't know me you don't own me so sit back relax try to get to know me before you judge I thought you knew me better how was I to know you practice your pop psychology degree on me get your hands off do you want to be my friend then try to understand where I'm coming from yes I still love him but he's forgotten me oh my god no I forgot he did tell me oh no what will he think poor friend poor beloved how I miss him but he didn't want me he wanted her whoever she was does she keep him up at night I wonder I wander the corridors of my mind how dare you assume one thing when I clearly told you another my brother get a life and try to understand the intricacies of the illogical mind
you never saw I never knew you loved her I loved him we tried to hide our feelings in each other moving merging my him loves another her but it is unrequited been there done that scandal rocks the world but you are the one I want I would wait forever for since you do not push me away I pull you near to smell my breasts all perfumed to make you forget to make you happy swim in the lethe with me we will forget all and we can and will be happy in our blissful ignorance of all but you and me...
wandering Judas bitter promises buried in a love that isn't real no I don't love you I cannot care screw that bitch I'll shed no tears you never loved me I don't deserve you've got some nerve accuse me as I have been accused before I care no more I can't make you stay you burn me my fire cannot be destroyed never was ignited couldn't get you excited how I love how you hate me prove me right leave me alone in this hell I created for you I built this garden for us you planted the seed then set the place ablaze how was I to know you really loved me too
bruise me use me break me shake me rip this heart apart you never wanted it anyway what are you thinking of it is you I cannot replace oh the pain the blood I shrieked you laughed I crushed you under my weight you ripped me asunder to break free I broke free of you you cried I lied you died I sighed whispered goodbyes broken promises tears wasted tears think back on all the years I equate you with the ones who first showed me pain I roar as I revel in the pain you inflict upon me knife rips flesh blood sacrifice for you I need you no I don't what am I thinking who the hell am I what do I want what the fuck do you want give it up grow up shut up go home
beginning too wild child must be made mild rip to shreds beat rob strip of self and identity pain shame not a new game bleeding body on the floor still alive and whole I believe in miracles but so far I don't have a miracle to claim while my lover fucks my best girl try not to cry it was bound to happen 38DD isn't all that special no one drools no one likes that figure gotta beg for release from my asylum gonna live with the pain that has torn me in two I wish you loved me but you hurt too I can't ask that of you you still love her every beat of your heart is for her like every beat of my heart is for him I'll heal hope for something real through life's lousy deal I'll survive...
wedding bells wanna buy the dress I want more than just a fuck I want the love of my life to come charging up on a white horse to save me from myself in the beginning he needs to have manners taste style no touch too late too soon likes to gaze at the moon with a lover�s eyes and a blood-red rose charm me seduce me lead me to bed make me wanna be the mother of your kids make me look at you in wonder show me that smile that tears my heart asunder make me remember the joy of love I�ve always never had that�s all I ask of you
too many nights I wonder alone are you asleep awake dead alive all I know you are not by my side where are you I love you I need you why did you go destroy what is left of my heart don't leave me here to bleed the pain is fun I scream and plead for mercy that is not in you in my daddy's arms again I pray to the Lord for eternal slumber eternal sleep banging on death's door bare naked and hungry for torture stop the madness stop the pain where is my friend when I need you the most you walked away and killed me I am dead
bleed me need me show me into your eternal darkness shield me with your infinite warmth from the depths of hell I beg you to stop ripping me apart because the pain is killing off all that was a part of you and me and all things inbetween the sheets the tricks you taught me as I came against your hand I wonder where you stand begging for the torture that is an addiction stop me stop me stop me but you cannot stop me because you never really cared so there
how I want you watching my blood drain from this scarred face I loved you but you forgot the words oh chocolate lovers unite to save me from my passions coconuts take me even higher climbing climbing rising to the orgasm of too much chocolate you laid down I watched you pump and sweat to deliver a package marked return to sender deep in my chocolate fantasy I called my lover's name but he never came I never came it's always the same with chocolate just ask the people and poets who use it for inspiration of which I have none not original oh god no somebody help me I'm lost and having the sweetest chocolate hangover of my misbegotten life
I cannot speak you've taken away all words your eyes tell me to come will I come your eyes are so appealing you do not love me can I come you know you'll hurt me I know you'll hurt me but you need to be covered you need the comfort of a sensual embrace I need the comfort of a sensual embrace I need you deep within to know me beyond this skin I need the rush I need the hurt I need the pain don't you understand I feed off the pain I didn't think you would I need to be ripped I need to be stretched and shredded in the combat fighting for my life beneath you though you do not care I feel your release and my own
bite my fingers till they bleed I knew I wasn't what you needed I knew I would never be the one that made your heart skip a beat I never am always the sister always the friend never the lover don't think of my fondly that is a lie think of my as the friend you left behind the one you warned not to fall never to fall love but not to love be strong but never be weakened how was I to know how was I to see I was falling into you when it was not my will and now I am ever alone
oh my god have mercy I want to die he would never miss me he doesn't care I'm not the woman of his fantasies I need to get away gotta get away from the spectre of my sins burning in the hell of my own creation wanting to embrace the flames give me the knife oh god watch me plunge and carve my desire away oh god chase this pain away greater pain than I have ever known how it makes me cry I need to weep the tears of blood give me the knife no better yet you drive it in since I mean so little and you mean so much bring about the end I crave as I plunge into madness all I love is stripped away to a barren nothing oh god will the suffering never end all I want was to be happy to be loved to be free from the torment at last but the demon must be fed the knife plunges in the monsters are satisfied at last
Last Modified: 11/18/2000 by Rebecca L. Oaks
� 1999-2000 Rebecca L. Oaks