Unrequited Love
Certainly one of the most painful things a person can experience. There is no greater thrill than to love...and no greater sorrow than to find that your love is not returned. This concept applies to more than the romantic relationship, although the poems you may see here have to do with the pain of unrequited love.
The Search
I have looked
Down so many halls
And I know
That love is a place
Where all hearts should be
Yet, when I come to the door
Slender hands trembling in anticipation
I find only the pain
And the heartbreak
Of unrequited love...
�RLO 1998
Enjoy your stay.
Mutual Usings
Push me up against the wall
Throw me down in the backseat
Calling his name
While you call hers
This isn't what love is supposed to be
I shouldn't be here with you
After all, she just said
She wanted to have your baby
While your kisses make me weak in the knees
I want to be having his
This isn't what love is supposed to be
We're both cowards
Hiding in the shadows
Until it's absolutely safe to love
Yet you love her
And she loves you
But you're in the backseat with me
Because she's too far away to fuck
And my mind is always on him
This isn't what love is supposed to be
I was starting to feel for you
But my intuition was right
You are in love with someone else
Her
And I feel like I'm losing all my options
Even though you helped me take control
And learn to say "no"
But you're just another friend
This isn't what love is supposed to be
You want me to use you
Like you have used me
Until the real thing comes along
Until your lady comes to your shore
You just want an innocent fuck
When I want his love
And feel like I'll lose his respect
As I know I'm losing mine
This wasn't what love was supposed to be
�RLO 1999
Mistake #5 in D Minor
Well, I'm staring in the shadows again
One stupid choice after another
Running headlong into the walls of life
Like the walls in a hall of mirrors
Reflecting
Distorting
Revolting
Cavorting
I sit here crying, feeling stupid
How many wrong men will I trust
Before I trust the right one?
All I have are my tears-
And my wounded pride
If I'm so damned smart,
And so damned beautiful,
Why in the hell am I alone on a Saturday night?
Why do I feel like the old woman
Who has to be hauled around
By family who consider her a burden
Even if she just wants to visit the library
There's a pain in my heart
My vision is cracked
And no one seems to really understand
How it feels to be so alone in this silent house
So very alone
And so I cry like the child
Who knows how it feels to wake up
And know that only your God and your mother
Are the only ones that give a damn about you in this town
How hard it is to keep from taking away
The only thing which I have some semblance of control over
And I don't do it
�RLO 1999
What Happens Now?
So I move on
I thought it was meant to be
But I was so wrong
And now I see the truth
For what it really was
We two souls walk together
But not as one
I am alone again
Free to do as I choose
I know I was right
And now I've nothing left to lose...
�RLO 1999
What Am I Doing?
What am I doing with him
When I love you
And always have?
What am I doing
Trying to be an acrobat
Shaping my words
To please the world
When I'd be better off sleeping
Or maybe even dead
Because even he likes to pretend
That I'm a figment of his imagination
And I'm not real
Maybe he's right
And I'm stuck
In your eternal nightmare
Why am I with him
When I really love you?
Oh, that's right
You don't love me
Just like the others
You don't give a damn
�RLO 1999
I Painted the Clouds Pink
I painted the clouds pink
And with sheer force of will the grass green
Though I did not agree with it
I've never thought the world looks as it should be
The rules pin me down
Like a champion wrestler
When I long to be free
As the breeze blowing in the window
Past the bed
Where you made love to her
When you thought I wasn't around
But I sat in my room
Paintbrush in hand
I painted the clouds pink
While you shredded my heart
�RLO 1999
Something Moved Me
Something moved me
To remember him
Dark eyes and long black hair
The shadowed way he studied me
From the other end of his lair
I argued against him
The battle fought
All my resistance
All for naught
For we were on the same side
Of a losing battle
To fight of the attraction
That sparked like a flame
Whenever I saw the conniving bastard
Or someone mentioned his name
�RLO 1999
Languid metaphors I never acknowleged, were smacked into my face
Like so many bloody waves
In a choppy sea
Rising from the maelstrom
Like a pyrric phoenix
In its own ashes
Bleeding like a martyr
For the lost cause that is me
Not that I care
I can lie just like you
Everything's fine
No it's not
But why in the hell would anyone care?
I won't trouble the gossips
With something to talk about
�RLO 1999
Autumn Floated in the Air
Autumn floated in the air
Though it was still spring
The season for lovers
That I can't bear to watch
The couples kissing and cuddling
In the gardens of my mind
All of the men are you
None of the women are me
I love you
Or so the story goes
I love the way you twist the knife just so
As you sink it into my back
Bleeding was always fun
When I couldn't cry tears
You made me cry blood
�RLO 1999
Contemplation
It�s not so much out of desperation
As an act of contemplation
Yes
I�ve seen your moves
I�ve played your games
Though I�ve never opened my legs
For any man
(I�m much too picky, you know)
And it�s not that I lack the innocence
(After all I had 75 on the purity test)
It�s just that I want what�s best
For you and me and the picnic basket
And yes I know I�m ignoring the task at hand
Because you�re so confusing
And I know in the end it�s me who will be losing
Out to the one I really love
I�ve sold the rights to the TV movie
Ship it, snip it, stars Tori Spelling
With some unknown playing you
The unwitting Casanova
Strutting around in your vanity
While I focus on humanity
When all I want is the good for you
Even though you act like a moron
Just to hide the fact that you�re not
And I get so angry to see you slipping
Letting those who don�t love you hurt you
Watching you bleed
Now you hate each other
I wish that that had never happened
And I wish I never wanted to be your lover
Because you�ll only ever be my brother
Though I don�t desire any other
You drive me crazy
And your stupidity never fails to amaze me
�RLO 1999
Addicted to Gambling
I wanted to lay my cards on the table
Before the hand was finished
I had already gambled away my self-respect
I didn't want to risk my heart again too
Besides my heart has little value
On the market today
It's never known a person
Who would treat it like a worthy heart
Though I suppose it's all my fault
For wearing it on my sleeve
(Reduces the value you know)
�RLO 1999
Empty Rooms
And I know there's got to be
Something beyond these
Empty rooms
Something I've gotta see...
I weep my tears of pain
Feel the betrayal
Of your heart
Ripping from my own
A blood sacrifice
Trickles from this
Broken heart
But it does no good
And I know there's got to be
Something beyond these
Empty rooms
Something I've gotta see
Something that's meant for me
And I look beyond the pain
See the hope that still remains
And I know in my heart
That the sun will rise again...
And I know there's got to be
Something beyond these
Empty rooms
Something I've gotta see
Something that's meant for me
Something that's meant to be
Beyond these...
Empty rooms...
(c)RLO 2/16/99
One Dark Night
"I can't live without you"
She whispered softly
As she departed,
Becoming one with the night
Say a little prayer
Light a little candle
Night'll be dying soon
Cold wind whipped
Her velvet cloak
She shivered suddenly
In her gown of virgin-white lawn
Say a little prayer
Light a little candle
Night'll be dying soon
She thought of her sins
Thought of his anger
Sought to drown them
In the ice-cold waters of the lake
Say a little prayer
Light a little candle
Night'll be dying soon
Velvet cloak rests on the shore
Girl in over her head
Dark waters swirl
Without a fight she is no more
Say a little prayer
Light a little candle
Night'll be dying soon
Her love came to find her
Crying out her name
"Night!"
Carrying her wet lifeless body home
Say a little prayer
Light a little candle
Night'll be dying soon...
(c)2/9/99 Rebecca L. Oaks
Seven Pages Short of Ten
slow dance with a knife
caress these white wrists
make me cry
the tears of penance
the tears of blood
I must suffer for my sins
As I carve your name into these
Open arms
Always open for you
Now bleeding for you
As I beg to be forgiven
To be back in your arms
To consecrate you with the blood
Of this sacrifice...
Lost (Inspired by a friend)
The joy of my life
Has been lost
Lost
Lost since I met you
Lost since I loved you
Lost since you hurt me
Now my life is over
And now I must die
Because the joy of my life
The light of my eyes
Has left me alone
For someone better than I...
(c)RLO 1998
Honest Love
Love is in the conception
And light is in the eyes
New truth in beauty
And banishment to lies...
What can I do?
The madness descends
Who can I turn to?
Dare I tell my friends?
Could I tell a story
Of a love so true?
Will I tell this story
About me and you?
How can I know what love is?
Is it a place? A time? A need?
How can I express my love?
By word? By flowers? By deed?
I can say nothing
I could tell by the look in your eyes
That she is never far from your heart
That she is the one you still want
How could I become her?
I could never be her
Yet you could never love me
It drives me to tears
Why isn�t there room
In your heart for another?
What�s so bad about me
That I�m not acceptable?
Why can�t you look inside
And see who I am?
Someone who wants to make you happy
Someone who can.
I can�t stand it
When you are sad
Your tears make me want to
Enfold you, safe in my arms
There are times
When you look at me
And when you smile
I feel we are meant to be
I wish I could tell you
I wish you knew
I wish we could be together
But what would you do?
(c)RLO 12/20/97
A Winter's Chill
So cold
Is the night
Now that I know
You will never return...
(c)RLO 1998
Time To Say Goodbye
I look at you
My case is packed
I can no longer fight you
It is time to say goodbye
I love you
But I cannot let you haunt me
My heart may grow cold
Without your warmth to surround me
There are so many things
I wanted to share
So many things
I wanted to do
Though I walk out that door
And I will see you no more
I must whisper one thing to you
My sweetest and deepest source of sorrow
"You know how I feel
You know this is real
And though I am gone, forever
Know that I love you still..."
(c)RLO 1998
Ignored
My heart is ripped out every day
Still you ignore me
I scream, but no one seems to hear
No one cares for my pain
I am nothing, a nobody
Why should you care?
I have only my heart
And even that is not good enough for you
You despise me
Destroy me
My heart lays in ruins
Yet it goes on
To love
And to be shattered again...
(c)RLO 1998
Abandoned
Abandoned
In the bosom
Of a love long forgotten
I can't help but dream
Of what could have been
Who is the face
That haunts my dreams?
Why, it is you, my love
The man I have never met...
(c)RLO 1998
Dreamlover
I lie awake
Sleep yields no dreams
I cannot get you out of my head
I cannot escape your touch
Do you exist
Or are you a dream?
A guardian angel
That saves me from myself
Or just another demon
To rip away my flesh?
(c)RLO 1998
Winter
The frozen air
With its smell
Of a thousand fireplaces
Reminds me
Of the fire and ice
I saw in your eyes
And in your heart...
(c)RLO 1998
Parting Words
Perhaps it would be better
If I say goodbye now
Knowing me,
I'll cry the minute you tell me
"Don't go"
Though I know you would never say it
So I turn away and remember your smile
But that just makes the tears flow faster
As I whisper
"Goodbye..."
(c)RLO 1998
last modified:11/18/2000 by Rebecca L. Oaks
� 1999-2000 Rebecca L. Oaks
