"My heart starts beating so fast . . . it feels like it's going to --Claustrophobia victim From my earliest memories, I feared entrapment. As I grew older, I found ways, or more honestly, concocted means to handle that fear. After more than six decades, I feel much of my anxiety came from a feeling of inadequacy, but this is the story of my personal journey - how I beguiled myself and others.  The dream would wake me. My heart pounded and my body was drenched as I struggled for breath in the dark box, otherwise called my room. My parents, while comforting, continually told me everything was fine and to "get back to sleep." That simply did not correct the problem for me and I learned not to call out for comforting. I contemplated pulling the sheet over my head but that would magnify the problem. I searched to find light from any source, under my door, or through the window. Sometimes moonlight would vaguely define the furniture in my bedroom and allow me to see the door, a route of escape. By the time I was five or six-years-old I began to wonder if I was doing something to cause these terrible dreams. They were always the same . . . no faces, no places . . . just a hill, a huge, downwardly-accelerating snowball, and me. I shared this fear with no one. Reading was not allowed after bedtime, but with a tiny flashlight concealed under my pillow, it would help lull me back to sleep. When I woke from that same dream again, I lay in the dark, searching for reasons. Was it something I had done? Was it something someone said? Who or what was overpowering me? My fears carried over into my daytime consciousness. I was panicky that a dream would take place while sleeping at friends� houses. It must be the same for someone who suffers from bed-wetting; fear can be crippling. I concocted excuses to eliminate possible invitations to sleep-overs, making mental notes so my stories were consistent. What a waste of time and mental energy, but back then, I did not comprehend that. Car-sickness was a related problem. I became profoundly aware of the nauseousness, and just where those feelings began in my body. It always developed at the most inappropriate times and places. I felt defeated by these unknown forces which repeatedly controlled me. I did not talk about this with my parents as they did not understand my fears, my doctor (in Mother's presence), or my teachers. I was convinced something was definitely wrong with me and no one else would understand, so as a teenager in the mid-1950's, I reasoned that hormonal changes were causing the dreams. After all, I had to convince myself I was not losing my head. In the early 1980's this gripping fear struck again. A group of boats had sailed from the Connecticut shore to Newport, Rhode Island. Our sailing friends planned to tour historic Fort Adams and at the fort is a long el-shaped tunnel. The structure is interesting, a person can whisper at one end and be very clearly heard at the opposite end. As our group lined up, ready to enter the tunnel I had that same pounding heart, profuse sweating, shortness of breath and gripping fear I had felt in my early years. I felt nauseated and told my husband I had changed my mind; I could not enter with the group. He was impatient with me. I feared I would faint and decided not to put myself through it. Ridicule from others in the group caused me discomfort but I held my ground as my family continued into the tunnel. I suddenly realized this was CLAUSTROPHOBIA. The feelings were the same as I had felt when awakening from my bad dreams of entrapment, with tight chest and pounding heart. The simultaneous nausea began in two places, at the base of my sternum and between my eyes, just as with car-sickness. The tunnel represented a trap or cage from which I could not escape when I realized others in the tunnel would block my exit. My latest and most dramatic bout with claustrophobia took place in 1996. Traveling from the Sea of Galilee to Jerusalem, my husband and I went to a tour site in Megiddo. Ahab, in nine B.C., built the ancient city water system, and our tour guide took us to a passage through this old system where a sign read:
of 183 steps and an ascent of 80 steps. After passing through the tunnel you will find yourself outside the excavations." With no obvious way around the tunnel, I had no choice but to stay with the group and begin the descent. It was a sunlit day but we entered a covered area, then an enclosed area with only a few dim lights along the way. My breathing increased as did my pulse. My heart pounded against my breastbone and I was uncomfortably overheated. Uncontrollable tears flowed down my cheeks although I was not crying. My knees buckled and I dropped onto the hard, cold stone steps. I was nearly trampled by those behind me. They simply could not see my frame on the stair. It was too dark. My loving, and typically phlegmatic husband prodded me. He did not understand my feelings. The more he prodded, the more I resisted. Two others came to my aid, one, our minister, the other a friend who had experienced claustrophobia. They gently talked me through the situation. They reminded me there were far fewer steps to climb out than we had encountered going in. Circumstances had coerced me but I was encouraged to regain my composure and move onward. Soon we reached the bottom and I could see a tiny shaft of light. ESCAPE! Through study, understanding and coming to terms with my lifelong phobia, I have struggled to overcome this fear. I can make choices, and sometimes I feel stronger than others, but having acknowledged my problem, I have addressed it. I will take small strides, one at a time, to make life easier for myself and for those around me when these situations occur - not by avoiding, but by facing the situations as they occur. What are the underlying changes in me? I was truly affected in some way at Magiddo. Was it a religious experience? I am not certain, but I do know that I am aware of my feelings and no longer fear them. I think fearing an impending phobia attack may have been a large portion of my problem. The supportive people with me in Israel truly challenged me. They offered assistance and prayers. The Bible teaches: "Where there is unbelief, fear is sure to follow." I now believe I can conquer my fear. My heart beats more steadily as I discover myself in a compromising situation and my spirit has been freed of the weight it once bore. I am extremely grateful. Sometimes elevators affect me, although I know I am better if I position myself just inside the doorway. Being in the elevator is one thing, but when the elevator stops, I feel that tremendous surge of strangulation, I want to exit immediately! Flying does not frighten me, but waiting to disembark is a nightmare, when again, I feel trapped! The alternative is to stay at home, but I will not succumb - some of my favorite experiences have involved air travel. Phobias are the most common form of anxiety disorders, which are also the most common type of psychiatric disorder in the United States. Claustrophobia is considered a "simple phobia" which most often develops during childhood and eventually disappears. However, if it persists into adulthood it rarely goes away without treatment. Research shows that once a person overcomes the phobia, he or she will be free of symptoms for years, if not for life.
(Documentation below.) PS: "Agoraphobia is the fear of being alone in any place or situation from which the person thinks escape would be difficult or help unavailable if he or she were incapacitated." I am fine once I have done it, but do not like leaving. Interesting! By Judith H. Clark, 1997
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Phobias are the most common form of anxiety disorders, which themselves are the most common psychiatric disorder in the United States. People of all ages, at all income levels and in all geographic locations suffer from phobias, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Between 5.1 and 12.5 percent of Americans suffer from phobias. Broken down by age and gender, the NIMH study found phobias were the most common psychiatric illness among women in all age groups and the second most common illness among men older than 25." American Psychiatric Association A question posed to Dr. Andrew Weil. |
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