The date of retirement is not always of your own choosing. Some people plan their retirement and all goes well; what a blessing! Others for one reason or other,must deal with the "lemons" of life. Downsizing that brings your working years to a halt might be a corporate decision and not of your choosing. Perhaps an injury leaves a person unable to execute his or her duties! No matter the reason, many have to make a personal choice when something prematurely ends their career.
When life handed us a lemon, we chose to make the proverbial "lemonade." In the line of duty, my husband sustained injury. Why did the clich�, "making lemonade out of life's lemons," sound so trite when we were younger? Today, it fits many people's lives!
Our decision was clear from the start. We decided we would face the challenge and move forward. In spite of our love for the other seasons, given a choice, neither of us wanted to tolerate the damp cold winters of New England. Our cherished activity, which might have kept us in the northeast, was no longer an option. Sailing takes strong backs, which neither of us any longer possessed.
We had our doubtful periods. "Just how much money would be coming in each month?" We had no idea until all the final paperwork was completed. "Would our house sell?" It did not for a long time! "If we invested the money from the house, what would it yield?" "Had we saved enough of a nest egg to get us through?" All these questions we asked ourselves. No immediate answers were available.
We were confident about the presence of our faith, but not absolutely certain it could and would sustain us. Was there enough faith in our "bank accounts?" We learned that like a mother's love, it does not run out! That bank never runs dry. There is always more when needed if you ask for it. Inexorably God spoke to our hearts. We found the strength to step out on faith, trusting we could make the necessary decisions!
Several years earlier we visited dear friends and ex-neighbors who had moved to Florida for their retirement. While staying with them, we purchased a building lot on speculation. After the injury, without further searching, we chose to go ahead and build a home on our lot. No "utopia" exists, that we knew, and home would be wherever we hung our hats.
What we did not realize, was that we avoided the struggle many couples endure while trying to decide just where they will settle for retirement. Yes, we had visited the area and liked it. It reminded my husband of the area at Cape Cod where he had spent his childhood summers. "Cape Cod?" you ask. Well, the scrub oaks on the Cape are something like the "turkey oaks" of Florida viewed with a sense of humor. Was Florida the "perfect" spot for us? We did not know and perhaps still wonder at times.
Fortunately, we had no time for compromise with each other about where we would go. We weighed the pros and cons, but the excitement of a life in different surroundings was the catalyst for our happiness. We simply agreed we would go!
Reviewing the ownership of our personal belongings was important and we began the preparations for a giant garage sale. Looking back as many can, we wonder why we let certain things go. We thought we were retiring but did not yet understand the implications! Some items we sold (gave away) were things we needed to purchase within a few short months of settling into our new home. How silly!
Friends questioned our decision, but we helped each other over that hurdle.Family can be the most difficult obstacle. Leaving your comfortable corner of the world and moving 1,200 miles away can create a feeling of estrangement for some.
The builder began our home in Florida in September. On October 31, we learned we would be grandparents for the first time the following June! That was difficult; it really pulled on our heartstrings. Our only daughter reassured us that we would certainly "bond" with the newest family member in many ways, and that she was content with our decision to move.
We acknowledged the facts that there were no right or wrong decisions in this situation. Life presented a challenge and we faced it with smiles most of the time. We worked at our packing and prayed for light hearts. Then we enjoyed the feeling of freedom as we got closer to moving day.
I remember driving west on I-95 across the Housatonic River bridge early that Sunday morning, with absolutely no desire to look back. Our hometown had been a haven for many years; it was an extraordinary place to raise our family, but now we had a chance to start anew.
In Florida the sun shines almost daily, however, just after they sodded our lawn we had torrential rains ~ more than fifteen inches in approximately thirty-six hours; fortunately the sod survived. Our new home was quickly in order and I was teased about having pictures on the walls the first weekend. I had positioned everything on graph paper so when things came off the walls in Connecticut, I knew where I assigned them a new place in Florida. If it did not have a home on paper, it went into the garage sale! Putting holes in the new walls was a "piece of cake!" A tolerant husband, handy with spackle and paint, always supported my desire to make a place "home" as quickly as possible.
Less than one week after moving in, our builder offered me a part-time position. I had previously voiced an interest in working with customers on their color selections and it was a pleasant surprise to receive the call. It was a wonderful way to meet people and to learn about our newly adopted community, so I readily accepted his offer.
My job consisted of helping new home owners select the varied color-components for their new homes. People for the most part were wonderful and from all parts of the country; some knew exactly what they wanted, which made my job easy. Others, however, could not decide if they really wanted to live in Florida, much less choose what color carpeting would make them happy; those days were very interesting. I reminded myself I was not hired to settle spousal disputes.
During this period my husband told me he liked grocery shopping. Hallelujah! He didn't have to say that twice. Being in a new town has its advantages! Shopping was a simple chore as we didn't constantly run into someone from grammar school, high school, work or church! Speaking of that, Topping our list of priorities was searching for a new church home where we felt comfortable. The warm, friendly church we settled on was a Godsend! While we did not know people, faces began to look familiar. Very soon we felt at home. Finding a doctor, a dentist and making new friends came next.
Before we knew it, we were receiving calls from friends 'up north' saying, "We're going to be driving through your area," and would "love to see you." We were thrilled to show them our new surroundings and entertained many overnight guests. A "split-plan" home is a distinct advantage when having company. The master bedroom is on one end and guest quarters at the other. It made having friends visits extremely easy, sometimes perhaps too comfortable?
I flew to New Jersey to attend a surprise baby shower; our daughter nearly fainted when she saw me! Ten days after our granddaughter arrived, we spent two weeks "bonding" with this beautiful little person. I remember the feeling of waking as she was placed in bed between us very early in the morning. "Nana, I was last fed at 4:00 A.M.," said a tiny handwritten note slipped onto the night table. Now that is JOY! The bonding began then and continues today, almost sixteen years later!
Looking back on life's experiences, we are not the same people who pledged, "for better or worse, for richer for poorer." We've grown through wonderful times and some really tough ones. I realize it was during the tough times that we grew.
Retirement offered us the chance to ask:
"What would you really like for supper?"
"What does a mockingbird's song do to your soul?"
"How do you feel while watching the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico?"
"Do you want to talk . . . or does silence satisfy you?
Our original plan was altered, nevertheless, God had another plan for our lives and we are so grateful we were open to receive it.
We have been asked, "What do you do to keep yourselves busy?" Our answer is, "How did we ever find the time to go to work?" The days are not long enough to do all that we want. For a time my husband worked with our local Habitat for Humanity but his back restrictions were too great. He was unable to put in a short day when the other volunteers were spending eight or nine hours on the job. It hurt to drop off the work crew, but he finally decided he must.
I jumped onto the technological "bandwagon." After all, we had to email back and forth to our granddaughter, right? I also became involved with online courses in HTML (the source of this page) and a couple of writing courses. I developed sound "virtual" friendships in Anchorage, Austria, New Zealand, South Africa and of course the US. No one is bored!
My husband knows I've been trying to get "inside his head" for forty-four years. I've learned mine is not a unique situation, and with sixteen years of retirement behind us, I'm still unable to crawl inside his cranial cavities ~ oh well! *VBG*
Happiness is dependant on our state of mind. When life hands you a "lemon," there are major decisions to be made. "How about a tall glass of cold lemonade made from the lemons on your own tree?"
