Title: For Your Amusement
Author: LadyB
Pairings/Characters: W/T, the rest of the Scooby Gang, etc.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except my own thoughts. All else is owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, UPN, et al.
Distribution: You want it? Just ask.
Spoilers: Up through the opening scene of “Seeing Red.” After that…it’s all the happyverse that resides in my imagination.
Summary: A non-angsty piece of fun. The Scoobs go to an amusement/theme park.
Feedback: Would be great. I appreciate any comments I receive. Be firm, but gentle.
It was a dark and stormy night…
Just kidding.
It was your typical Sunnydale summer evening – hot, sweaty, and nasty. Now, not everything hot, sweaty, and nasty is bad, mind you; but tonight that combination took a decidedly evil turn. Just stepping outside for 30 seconds thrust you into the death grip of these elements. In fact, the air was so thick and hazy that even the creatures of the night could be heard shouting a collective “Screw it, I’m staying in the crypt,” thus abandoning their otherwise relentless crusade to open the Hellmouth and torturing those around them.
Not surprisingly, it was the Hellmouth causing this claustrophobic atmosphere. How do we know? Well, if you turned on the weather report, you’d see that all the areas around Sunny D were dry, cool, and breezy for the evening. Damned mystical energy, always messing with the weather. Of course, none of Sunnydale’s blissfully oblivious residents knew this. None except for our beloved Scooby gang. Never a group to ignore the siren call of fun and recreation, they decided to take advantage of this vampless night by getting out of town.
“Guys, guys, guys…we’ve got to get out of here! Let’s go do something fun. Something non-slayery.” Buffy’s pleading eyes gazed at the seated group. “I haven’t had a night out in so long. Between slaying and the Doublemeat, all work and no play makes for a bitchy Buffy.”
“No kidding.” Willow felt the words leave her lips before her brain registered the act.
“WILLOW!” The whole rest of the group, including Buffy, whipped their necks around to gawk at the redhead. Xander, Buffy, the newly returned Giles, Tara, and Dawn picked their jaws up from the floor. Anya just laughed.
“Well look at that. Her face matches her hair. Nice look.” Anya proceeded to go back to counting the money, closing the shop early (what?!) since she knew no one would be coming in on a night like this. Might as well save on electricity costs, she thought. As the flush drained a bit from Willow’s face, Buffy spoke up again.
“Um, gee thanks for agreeing, Will. I know I’ve been a little testy lately, and I’m sorry. That’s why we all need to get out! Giles, you’ve been back for a week and have done nothing but research. Xander, you’ve been working overtime on rebuilding Sunnydale High. Anya, you’ve—“
Anya cut her off mid-sentence. “Whatever you’ve got planned. I’m not going. I’m busy. Got things to do…yes, I do. Yep…lots of things.” Xander tried to lock eyes with his ex-fiancee, but she did not return his gaze.
Buffy sighed and tried to reason with the meticulous shopkeeper. “Anya. Before you say no, why don’t you let me finish?” She noticed that Anya never bothered to look up from her money stacks to acknowledge her plea.
“Why? It’ll take less time than me pretending to listen to what you’re saying, waiting for you to finish just to say what I can say now. No.” She continued staring at the bundle of cash in her hand, doing all she could to ignore the group.
Tara walked over to the counter where Anya stood. She fiddled with the register bell before finally speaking. “Anya. Please, just stop for a second. Maybe you’ll like Buffy’s suggestion.”
“Not likely. It doesn’t involve orgasms.” Just as with her last prickly quip, Willow’s brain couldn’t stop the words from sounding off. Somehow the notion of thinking before speaking became lost on our heroine hacker.
“WILLOW!” Once again, the group gawked like Neanderthals at the red-haired Wiccan.
Willow shot her hand to her mouth. “OH MY GOD! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that, Anya. I really don’t know what’s come over me today.” She blushed profusely once again and tried to hide her face. Tara tried to give sympathetic looks to both Willow and Anya but sort of came out looking cross-eyed. So, before the double vision could start, she quietly sat back down next to Willow and held her hand.
“Will,” Buffy started. “It’s probably stress. Which brings me back to my original point. We’ve all been stressed lately…especially with the Nerd Herd, who are most likely spending tonight in their lair with the “Babes of Dungeon’s and Dragons” picture book, a tube of lotion, and some Kleenex—.”
Xander snorted. “Well, probably not Andrew.”
“Well, we aren’t going to talk about him. But anyway, we need a break.” Buffy, with a flourish all her own, conveniently whipped out a newspaper, “And…I have just the idea. Check this out.” She splayed the paper out across the table. “Thrills, Chills, and Spills, which is like 30 minutes outside of town is having their Sizzling Summer Fun Nights tonight.” Buffy pointed to the middle of the advertisement as she continued. “It says here the park is open until 2AM, full ride operation, and admission is only twenty dollars. How fun does that sound!”
Willows eyes lit up at the theme park suggestion. “Great idea, Buff! Wow, TCS, I haven’t been there since—“
“We were twelve, Will,” Xander completed. “Remember the school field trip? When I tried to eat twelve hot dogs and got sick on the bus?”
Dawn looked at Xander and smooshed her face. “Ew, Xander. Gross.”
Tara concurred. “Yeah gross. But, it does sound like fun. I’m in.” The blonde quickly turned her head, looked at her girlfriend and corrected herself. “Whoops. I mean, we’re in.” Willow instantly bridged the gap between them and gave her a quick kiss.
Next on the bandwagon was Xander. “Ooh! I’m in, too. Should be a blast. I could always up my funage reserve…kind of been depleted lately.” At that, Anya disengaged ‘ignore mode,’ glared at Xander and scoffed.
Buffy grinned at her friends. “Great. Dawn, if you want, you can invite Janice and Melinda.” She paused and thought for a moment. “Well, Melinda…she’s just so short. She may not be able to get on the roller coasters.”
Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister. “Buffy…”
“Sorry. I just don’t like her…she’s just so short, and has those beady little eyes.”
“BUFFY!”
“Well, she does! But, you can bring her if you want.”
Dawn jumped from her chair and ran to the back. “I’m gonna go call her now!”
As Dawn placed her call, Buffy looked to Giles. “So, Giles. What about you? Gonna lay off the books tonight, let your glasses fog up and have some fun?”
“Yeah, G-man. Gonna party down?” Xander added.
Giles sighed in frustration. “Do stop calling me that. I beg of you.” He turned away from Xander and continued. “Buffy. The sensible part of me says I should continue dissecting the text.”
“Ooh! Is it a volume-y text?” Willow and Tara said in unison. Both girls gave each other knowing looks, laughing. Apparently Giles didn’t catch the witches’ reference to the ill-fated song and dance escapade of several months prior because he answered their question in earnest.
“Why, yes, as a matter of fact. It’s quite extensive. It chronologically organizes the—.” Giles’ ode to slumber-inducing anthologies was thankfully cut off by Buffy.
“Whoa, Giles. Down boy.” Giles shot Buffy a glare. “Are you coming or not?”
Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Yes, I’m coming. Sounds like a capital plan.” At the Watcher’s words, Anya muttered to herself something that sounded like ‘I still don’t know what capital means’, but it could’ve been ‘I don’t give a hill of beans.’ No one knows for sure.
“Cool. That just leaves you Anya.” Buffy concluded.
Still focused on the money, Anya succinctly replied, “No. I’ve got money to count.”
Rolling her eyes, Buffy tried again. “Come on. You’ve counted it six times in the last twenty minutes. Just come. Besides, if you don’t, you’ll regret it.”
“No.” Anya stood firm.
“There’s something you’ll really like.”
“No.” Her voice betrayed nothing.
As a last-ditch effort, Buffy pulled out her secret weapon. In a sing-song voice, she sweetly revealed, “It involves mon-ey.”
“Money?” Anya asked, intrigued. “How so?”
‘Ah ha!’ Buffy thought. ‘Did her ears just perk up? Canine much?’ She smiled at Anya and shook her head. “Uh-uh. You don’t get to know until you agree to come.” The slayer pointed and tapped her watch. “Tick-tock Anya.”
The visions of fiscal fantasies too much to bear, Anya sighed and gave in. “Fine. I’ll go. I’m just not sitting by Xander.” She glared at her ex-finance.
“Hey!” Xander protested.
Anya rebuffed Xander’s exclamation. “You don’t get to ‘hey,’ mister ‘I got scared and left my fiancée at the alter, but everybody still loves me.’ If I’m going to go…I’m not sitting by you.”
“Fine!”
“Fine!” Anya disregarded Xander with a flick of her wrist and turned to Buffy. “Now, tell me about the money.”
Buffy laughed a bit and smiled at her. “Well, it’s not actually money, Anya. It concerns money.”
“Ok then. What’s it about already,” the blonde shopkeeper complained.
“The Hall of America is showcasing ‘A Tribute to Capitalism.”
Anya about jumped out of her pants. “A Tribute to Capitalism!”
Giles groaned and shook his head as he watched the exchange. “Oh, dear God.”
Buffy continued playing Pied-Piper to Anya’s rat. “Yeah, it’s got those anamatronic figures of Ronald Regan, Donald Trump, Bill Gates…”
“Bill Gates!” Anya exclaimed. “He’s so dreamy,” she said with a drawn out sigh.
Willow looked like she was going to vomit. “Dreamy? Ew, Anya.”
“Well, if you were worth billions of dollars, I’d think you’re dreamy too.”
“Really?” Willow asked.
“Hey!” Tara reacted and squeezed the redhead’s hand.
Xander grabbed his head and banged it against the table. “Nuh…scary visual place.”
“Just kidding, honey. Really.” Willow drew up their interlocked hands and kissed the top of Tara’s.
“Yeah, you better be.” Returning the gesture, Tara kissed Willow and enveloped her in a warm embrace. During this umpteen billionth snuggly exchange between the recently reunited lovebirds, Anya had already locked up the money, grabbed her belongings, opened the Magic Box’s front door and stood impatiently at the threshold.
“Well, what are we waiting for? I wanna surround myself and absorb the energy from those Captains of Competitive Commerce!” The rest of the Scooby Gang, upon seeing the rabid look in Anya’s eyes quickly raced to the door and exited.
“On that note, guys. Let’s go!” Buffy stated, jingling the keys to the Jeep.
“Oh no, Buffster. We wanna get there in one piece. I’m driving. Yoink!” With that, Xander snatched the keys from the distracted Slayer’s hand and ran to the car. Everyone piled into the Summers’ Jeep, making sure to keep Ayna on the other side, away from Xander. Little did they know, as they drove away, a certain someone had been listening to their entire discussion.
“So, Slayer and her pals goin’ off for some fun, eh? I think I’m due for some fun, too. Let’s see…where could I go…”
[1 Hour Later – ‘Thrills Chills & Spills’ Theme Park]
“Dawn! Dawn!” Buffy yelled across the parking lot. “Oh shit. Where’s Dawn?” The slayer looked around but couldn’t see her sister anywhere. “Maybe she, Melinda, and Janice are in the other car.” As the other occupants of the Jeep strode up next to her, Buffy continued. “Guys, how far back was the other car.”
Willow replied, confused. “What other car, Buff? All of us fit in the Grand Cherokee.” The hacker gestured to Buffy’s car and the blonde’s eyes grew wide as saucers. She just realized…and within seconds, everyone else did. “Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod! Buffy, we left Dawn at the Magic Box! Oh god, oh god, oh god!”
Buffy freaked. “Xander! We gotta go back! We can’t leave her there.”
Anya challenged that idea. “Why bother, Buffy. Just leave the little thief there. She’d probably just steal something from one of the shops and then the little undercover security guy in the Bermuda shorts and ugly tropical shirt will have to take her away in front of her friends, find you, then we’ll all get kicked out and banned from the park. She’s better off at the Magic Box where she…can…steal…” Anya thought about what she was saying. She gasped. “Nevermind! Oh God! Buffy! You have to go get her! My shop! There’ll be nothing left! It’ll all be stuffed in her pocket!”
“Anya! Shut up!” She ran to grab the keys from the carpenter and muttered, “Probably that beady-eyed Melinda’s fault. So short.” Just as she unlocked the car door and was about to climb in a loud honking sound distracted her. At the sound, Buffy turned around and looked at an approaching minivan.
Tara was the first to recognize the occupants. “Uh-oh. It’s Dawn…and Melinda…and Janice…uh, and, oh goddess, Janice’s mom. And she does not look h-happy.” Tara, on instinct, stepped protectively in front of Willow. She knew nothing would happen, but she couldn’t help herself.
The car stopped, and Buffy held her breath, anticipating the wrath of Janice’s mom, once she got out of the car, that is. But, surprisingly, Janice’s mom did not get out of the car. The three other girls exited, quickly conveying their thanks, and saying their goodbyes. “Ok, mom, you’ll be here at one, right? You won’t forget us.” At that point, Dawn turned around, as did little Melinda, and stared daggers at Buffy. After replying, Janice’s mom, started to drive away, but not before stopping in front of the elder Summers daughter, and rolling down her window.
“You, Buffy Summers, should be ashamed of yourself.” With that, Janice’s mother calmly rolled up the window, and drove away.
With lightening speed, the blonde slayer rushed over to her sister. “Dawn, Dawnie. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did that. Please—.”
“Save it Buffy. I’m so not talking to you about this right now. I’m here to have fun with MY friends. And, since you obviously can’t seem to remember us, Janice’s mom will pick us up later. So, with that said, BUFFY, I’m through talking to you tonight. If I need you, I’ll find you.” Dawn glanced over to her friends and motioned for them to follow her. The rest of the gang watched as the three teens headed to the ticket box.
“Wow. When did Dawn become such a bitch,” Anya, the oh-so-tactful one, remarked.
“Anya!” Buffy yelled. The dejected look on the blonde slayer’s face said it all. “We LEFT her at the Magic Box. We FORGOT about her. She has every right to be pissed off.” She leaned against the hood of the Cherokee, guilt washing over her. Buffy’s face contorted like silly putty gone wild as she thought about the situation. Moments later, the light bulb clicked on and she snapped out of her guilt stupor.
“Buff…you ok there?” Willow replied, as she saw a huge grin spread over her face.
“Wills, I’m more than ok. I’m so not letting this whole Dawn thing get me down. In fact, if you think about it, this is definitely of the good.” Buffy rocked back on her heels, almost bouncing.
“How so, Buffy?” Tara asked. She liked seeing Buffy happy, but was confused from the abrupt change.
“Think about it. How much fun can we have with no little munchkins around? Dawn is all pissy right now, which means she’ll stay away. Which, in turn, means more fun for us!”
“Hey, ya know? The Buffster is right. I love Dawnie, but it would be a drag to have to watch her and the other ones all night. I say let’s make the most of it and par-tay!” Xander almost broke out in his ‘Snoopy Dance’ but refrained once he saw Anya roll her eyes.
“Well, like I said, don’t blame me when the little felon gets picked up for stealing those little keychains with the names on them.”
“Anya, stop. You’ve made your point.”
“Do you hear something? It sounded like an annoying buzzing sound. Gee, maybe it’ll get scared and run away. It’s good at that sort of thing.” Anya, dismissed Xander without so much as a look and headed for the ticket box. Taking that as a cue, the rest followed.
Willow and Tara hung back a bit from the rest of the group as they walked. “Tara, I hope they don’t fight like this the whole time we’re here. It doesn’t help with the fun or the romance.”
Tara smiled sweetly at her red-headed goddess. “I know, sweetie. I tell ya what. We’ll hang around with the gang for a little while, and then we’ll slip away, just us.” Willow’s eyes sparkled at the blonde’s suggestion. “Besides,” she whispered, “I kind of wanted to have you all to myself tonight…at least for a little while.” With that, Tara kissed Willow’s earlobe, grabbed her butt, and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. “C’mon Will, get a move on!”
The hacker, still reeling from Tara’s words and gestures, absently yelled, “I’m coming!” ‘Ok, not the best choice of words at the moment,’ she thought. ‘Well, I’ll save that for later.’ She snapped out of her thoughts and ran. “Hey! Wait up!”
Part 2
“Fine. Take my hard-earned twenty dollars. This better be worth it, little man. That’s a lot of money I’m handing over.” Anya reluctantly gave the ticket box operator the twenty dollar bill, almost snatching it back out of his hand several times before finally taking her ticket. Walking away, you could hear her mumbling, “Don’t understand why I have to pay. They should be paying me for patronizing this establishment.”
The rest of the group paid their money, without the snide comments, and entered behind the 1123 year old capitalist. “Ooh, a map. Gotta get a map.” Buffy ran to the Guest Service kiosk, grabbed a map and unfolded it. “Good god! How big is this place?”
“Where’s the Hall of America? I want to see the Tribute to Capitalism!” Anya tried to snatch the map from Buffy, but Slayer reflexes were too quick for her.
“Wait your turn, grabby hands.” Buffy continued to look at the map, Anya fuming beside her. Giles shook his head, wondering why he was here and not at the Magic Box plundering the essence of another ancient text. Then he spotted his secret obsession.
“Yes, well, I’ll see you all later. There…there’s something I need to do.” Giles awkwardly tried to separate himself from the group, but Anya wouldn’t let him.
“No way, Giles. I’m not going to be stuck here with all of them.”
“Hey!” Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Tara said in unison.
“Well…you’re going to want to do stupid stuff, and I want to be where those marvelous money makers are. So, Giles, I’m coming with you and we’re going to the Hall of America.” Anya grabbed Giles by the arm.
“Bloody hell!” Giles muttered as he felt himself being dragged behind the blonde. “Damn. I wanted Funnel Cakes.”
***************
“What, Giles? Funnel Cakes? What are those?” Anya asked, continuing to drag Giles along. Giles’ eyes widened. He hadn’t realized he spoke those words aloud. He’d been found out. His secret obsession was discovered. He loved Funnel Cakes.
“Nothing Anya. Let us just go visit the money attraction.” Giles replied, finally matching Anya step for step. Not to be denied information, Anya stopped them both.
“No, Giles. I want to know what Funnel Cakes are! Tell me.” She stared at the Watcher, waiting for his reply. “Come on, Giles. Tell me!”
“All right, all right, Anya. Follow me.” This time it was Giles’ turn to lead the way, practically dragging the woman behind him. Once they reached the kiosk, he stopped, turned to her and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Inhale deep through your nose, Anya.”
The blonde shopkeeper did as she was instructed. She inhaled deeply and her nose became filled with a warm, sweet, intoxicating smell. “Oh my God, Giles…what is that smell?”
As Anya was inhaling, Giles had stepped to the front of the kiosk queue and placed an order. “One please. Extra confectioner’s sugar.” He paid for the dessert and went back to Anya, who was still sniffing. “That smell, that glorious, wondrous smell…is this.” Anya opened her eyes to see a deep-fried, doughy concoction, shaped in no particular pattern, dusted heavily with powdered sugar. “This is a Funnel Cake, Anya.”
Giles took a fork from the condiment stand and cut into the freshly cooked dessert. Spearing a section, he brought it up to Anya’s mouth. “It’s hot, Anya. Blow.” Transfixed by the aroma, she blindly pursed her lips and blew across the offering. “Now, take the whole piece in your mouth. Chew slowly, savor every bit. You’ve never tasted anything like it.” Anya did as she was told, moving her lips over the fork, never taking her eyes off Giles.
What? Never taking her eyes off Giles? Where did THAT come from? Quickly, she released her lips from the fork, taking the bite with her and closed her eyes. As her jaw began to move, Giles found himself waiting with near-anticipation for her reaction. ‘Oh to have someone share in my secret obsession,’ he thought. Anya as a someone? Huh? Giles shook his head as if to dislodge the thought from his brain.
A sigh and a smile greeted Giles as he focused his gaze back on Anya. “Oh my God, Giles! This is absolutely incredible!” Still chewing, she closed her eyes, seeming to concentrate solely on sweet, doughy essence in her mouth. “I’ve never, ever, tasted anything like this in my 1123 years.” Sighing in contentment, she continued. “And I thought sidewalk Belgian Waffles in Brussels were the ultimate. God no…this surpasses everything.” She looked around for the Funnel Cake plate. “Giles! Where is it? I want more.”
During Anya’s moment of ecstasy, Giles set out to fulfill his own fabulous Funnel Cake fantasy. The Watcher cut off a piece and mimicked Anya’s earlier motions. As he swallowed the source of his euphoria, Giles began to move toward the Hall of America, unconsciously, plate in one hand, while his other arm wrapped around Anya’s waist, urging her forward with him. Anya positioned herself to take over on plate duty, as the two transfixed shopkeepers attacked the defenseless edible, overpowering it on both sides with a relentless two-fork ambush.
As they clumsily made their way to the Capitalism exhibit, a camera perched atop a light pole followed them. Across the park, in an elaborately decorated office, a lone figure watched the camera’s feature presentation. “Well, well…isn’t this a nice surprise. And here I thought it was going to be a boring evening. Guess I might just have some fun tonight after all.”
***************
“Ok guys. Here it is, the granddaddy of them all.”
“What, Xander. The granddaddy of what all?” Buffy asked, confused. The construction worker had dragged them halfway across the park muttering something about G-forces and eye-popping.
“Buff, Buffster, Buff of my heart…behold the wonder that is…The Spine Mangler.” Xander swept his hand in the direction of a huge structure full of twisted metal and dangerous curves. “The Spine Mangler…two-and-a-half minutes of gum-detaching G-force fury. Six loop-dee-loops, four corkscrews, two sixty-foot drops, and then it stops and goes backwards through the same thing.” Xander rubbed his hands together, grinned, jumped up and down, and giggled like a schoolgirl. “C’mon! Let’s go! Before the line gets too long and we’re shunted around like cattle.” He looked at the three women and sighed. “C’mon. Let’s get a mooooooove on.”
“Xander! Shush. Let’s think about this for a minute,” the Slayer interjected. She looked away from her friend, over to Willow and Tara, and then raised her head to view the roller coaster. She gulped. “Uhh, do you think it’s wise? I mean, they did name it The Spine Mangler for a reason, right?”
Willow agreed. “Yeah, Xan. Um, it wouldn’t be because, well…it mangles spines? Like it’s a chiropractor’s best friend?” The red-haired Wiccan looked over at Tara only to see her wide-eyed, mouth agape, staring at the behemoth steel structure. “Tara? You ok, baby?”
Willow’s words snapped Tara out of her trance. “What? Oh, sorry sweetie. Yes, I’m fine.” She looked over at the line, and grabbed Willow’s hand. The blonde began to move toward the ride.
“Uh, Tara…honey? What’cha doing?” Willow felt her feet moving, unconsciously deciding that where Tara goes, so goes her nation…er, her body.
“Getting in line for the ride.”
“Uh, ok,” Willow hesitated. She turned her head to where Buffy and Xander were standing. “Guys? You coming?”
Xander grabbed Buffy’s hand and broke into a jog. “Righty-o Will. We’re right behind ya.” The four friends spent the next thirty minutes winding their way through the single queue only to find themselves at the top of the stairs, where it then broke into eight new queues. Willow and Tara stepped up to one, while Xander and Buffy took the queue right behind them.
“Goddess, it’s like leading cows to slaughter,” Willow muttered, looking a little green as she watched the next round of sacrifices…er, riders snap out of the gate and head out onto the steel track.
“What’s that sweetie?” Tara said as she came up behind Willow and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Uh, nothing. I just said I like that man’s little daughter. She’s a cutie,” Willow lied, not wanting to reveal her roller coaster trepidation. However, the connection between the two soulmates revealed it anyway.
“Willow, honey? Are you ok? You’re a little nervous aren’t you?” Tara began rubbing little circles on Willow’s stomach, hoping to calm the worried Wiccan.
The motion of her lover’s hand calmed her a bit, and she sighed. “Um, a little, I guess. I’ve never really been on a roller coaster before.”
“But didn’t you go with Xander and your classmates several years ago?”
“Yes, I did. But, I didn’t go on the roller coasters. I got scared and waited with the chaperones.” She lowered her head and looked down. “Yeah, I know…I’m a spaz. A wimpy, geeky, scaredy-cat spaz.”
Immediately Tara spun Willow around in her arms. With her version of a ‘resolve face’ firmly in place, the blonde stared into her girls eyes and spoke. “Willow Rosenberg, you are not a wimpy, geeky, scaredy-cat spaz! I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that again. Got it?”
Surprised at her lover’s forcefulness, Willow replied, eyes turned away. “Yes, ma’am.”
“That’s better.” Tara’s voice softened as she continued. “Will, sweetheart, everyone is afraid of something. No one on this Earth is immune to fear…even those we think are the epitome of fearlessness. It’s just that they don’t let the fear take over. You’re a brave, wonderful woman, Willow. And by just standing in line for this ride proves it. You’re overcoming a fear. Just think about how it will feel when it’s over. To know that you beat it.”
Willow threw her arms around Tara, hugging the other Wicca with all her might. “Thank you Tare. You always know just what to say to me. Let’s do it! I’m going to ride the Spine Mangler.”
“That’s my cool monster-fighting, hellmouth-closing, soul-returning girl.” Tara returned the hug with the same force, and shuffled her feet a bit, moving the two forward up the queue.
Xander, still bouncing on the balls of his feet, excitedly shouted, “Guys! We’re next! Come on!” They waited impatiently for the coaster cars to arrive, Buffy and Willow feeling as if they were walking those last steps to the electric chair. Somehow, they both thought, ‘dead women walking.’ Xander and Tara stood there, just the opposite, looking at that coaster like it was the pearly gates of Heaven. The cars came to a stop, and the barrier between the ride and the riders swung open.
Tara softly nudged Willow forward those few extra steps while Xander practically had to drag Buffy to the coaster cars. With audible gulps, Buffy and Willow lowered themselves into their cars and awaited their fate. Xander stepped in behind Buffy, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be ok, Buff. I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to than Xan.”
Tara gently slipped behind her girl, lowered herself into the car and immediately wrapped her arms around Willow’s waist. She softly kissed the back of her neck, whispering comforting words in the redhead’s ear. “I love you Willow, and I’m so proud of you. So brave and strong.” She couldn’t see it, but Willow beamed at the blonde’s words. She felt ready for anything.
All the riders maneuvered the safety harnesses in place, and waited for the ride to start. The ominous click of the latch was heard, signaling the start of the ride. It lurched forward. Xander shouted, barely containing his glee, “Here we go!”
Willow muttered, barely containing her lunch, “Oh boy.”
Part 3
The next two-and-a-half minutes were a whirlwind of twists, turns, screams, and change falling from unsecured pockets…not to mention some sunglasses, a hat or two, and a pointy wooden object. Some onlookers swore they heard someone yell “Damn! My stake!” as the ride whizzed past. As the cars pulled into the station, four sets of eyes stared straight ahead; three attached to smile-filled faces, one attached to a face the colour of Kermit the Frog. The quartet exited the ride…ok, three exited, one was carefully lifted out and half-dragged down the ramp.
“Oh man! That was so cool! I’ve never felt anything like that before…and I’ve felt a lot of things!” Buffy thought about that sentence and recanted. “Uh, never mind that last part. A little too excited.” Buffy bounded down the ramp like a little school girl, Xander close behind her.
“I agree with you Buffster! That rocked! So much better than the wimpy ride they had when we were 12. Don’t you agree Will?” Xander glanced over his shoulder only to catch the sight of Tara tending to Willow. “Will? You all right there?”
Tara carefully draped Willow’s arm over her shoulders and braced her girlfriend up. “Willow, baby? Let’s find you a seat. You don’t look so well.” She began to walk them toward a bench when Willow begged her off.
“Uh, no…no Tare. No sitting. Head spinning…stomach flopping. Can’t sit…too dizzy.” Willow held her head with her free hand, her expression as pitiful as a wounded puppy.
“Ok baby…what do you want to do? What do you think will help?” Tara stood silent as she waited for Willow to swallow and speak.
Despite her brain feeling like mush, she still had enough to use to take advantage of the situation. Giving her girl a look that was a cross between naughty and nauseated, Willow answered. “Well…Tara-kisses should do wonders, to start.” In a flash, that half-smile appeared on Tara’s face, making Willow go weaker in the knees than she already was. Tara moved forward, removing her arm from under Willow, yet still bracing her with her body. She gently placed her hands on the sides of Willow’s face and the doctor began her treatment. Starting at the redhead’s forehead, she placed light kisses across her brow. Moving slowly, her featherlike motions extended down the bridge of her nose, to the tip. Not to be ignored, Willow’s cheekbones called out for attention, which Tara gladly answered, caressing them with her fingertips, as she continued to move further down the face that electrified her dreams. Intentionally overlooking her lips, Tara continued her treatment up and down Willow’s jaw line, ever so slightly peeking her tongue out along the way. She could feel Willow shiver as the final destination was reached. Moving their bodies closer together, Tara administered the final dose. Willow’s lips were sought and overpowered by the best medicine…Tara-lips. As the kiss continued, passersby, if they looked close enough, could’ve seen an actual person turn to jelly…well for a minute anyway.
Once the kiss ended, Tara, flushed from head to toe, remarked, “Did that make you feel better, baby?” She resumed her place as Willow’s brace as she waited for an answer.
“Uh…uh, uh...It did wonders for me…but I think I’m dizzier than I was on the roller-coaster.” She smiled sheepishly at Tara, her heart trying to calm its bongo cadence in her chest. “Baby? Why don’t we head to the carousel? Maybe the slow circular motion of it will help stop the spinning.” Tara, nodded, not sure if it would help Willow or not, but decided that the hacker knew best. Calling out for Buffy and Xander to follow, they slowly headed to the carousel.
***********
“Oh, Giles! Let’s go here! Come on!” Anya grabbed Giles and headed full-throttle to the back of the Hall of America. Poor, poor, Giles. The man deserved a Medal of Honor for what he’s been put through the last forty-five minutes. Anya dragged him to every part of the Tribute to Capitalism exhibit, overlooking no corner or crevice of the building. The long-suffering ex-Watcher stood gamely through an anamatronic history of Bill Gates and Microsoft, Allan Greenspan and Warren Buffett “Through the Years,” and the “Maniacal Magnificence of Martha Stewart.” God help the man as he numbly followed Anya to the final segment.
“Good Lord, woman. What now?!” Giles tried to stop for a moment, but Anya wouldn’t let him. “Anya! Stop!” The blonde stopped for a second, glaring at Giles.
“What, Giles? Come on! The “Hooray for Capitalists” ride is filling up! I don’t want to miss it!” She commenced dragging Giles across the Hall of America and into the room where the ride began.
“Bloody hell!” Giles exclaimed when he saw the gaudy excess of the ride. Fake money confetti exploding out of cannons, parades of anamatronic school-children from around the world holding hands with shirts proclaiming ‘Hooray for Capitalism.’ And the song…the cringeworthy song that sounded suspiciously similar to a ride at that ‘mouse’ place, where children of all ages could enjoy the feeling of their ears bleeding. You don’t believe me…just listen!
It’s a world of dollars, a world of cents
It’s a world of dual-income par-ar-ents
We have stocks, we have shares, and noth-ing else compares
To Capitalism, after all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
All o-ver…the…world
We’ve got Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Martha S.
We’ve got houses, cars, money in excess
We’re revered, we’re adored, ‘cause our dollars we horde
We are Capitalists after all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
Hooray for Capitalists, one and all
All o-ver…the…world
See what I mean?! Told you. Now, go take a second to grab a tissue to clean up your ears. Sheesh, some people just can’t take a narrator at her word. Anyway…the ride ended, Giles leaped out of the boat and ran for the nearest exit. Anya, elated and content, just stared. “Wow, so wonderful, so reverent. Makes me want to go home and count the money again. Doesn’t it make you feel like that, Giles?” She looked behind her, no Giles. “Giles?” No answer. “Hmm…maybe he went outside already.” The blonde shopkeeper walked out of the exhibit where she saw her ride companion sitting on a bench…with his head between his knees.