Chapter 4

      As she sets down at the table she feels dampness on her skirt and water on her legs. The cramps are worsening, "Oh no." She knows Wade is too far away to hear her if she does scream out for him. Being so young, she has never witnessed "birthing' , but she knows she will give birth soon.

      She and Wade had taken a chance and hitched a ride into Needles a few weeks ago and bought a few diapers and t-shirts for the baby. They knew the risk as people from the Reservation could see her and report them to the Indian Police.

      She often looks at the baby's few belongings and wonders, what she will have a boy or a girl? One thing she knows: it will be big. Her belly is like a washtub. They have joked about that.

      Serrano people believe strongly in their dreams. They know Creator reveals to them their lives in their dreams. She is a "dreamer", yet not wise in knowing what they mean or how important to her way of life they truly are.

      She daydreams. How happy they would be with an Army styled battery radio!. Wade had once brought one home, and they listened to Del Rio, Texas for two nights. She had cried when he had to take it back to the guy that had loaned it to him. Wade had made fun of her childish way's.

      Her daydreaming comes to an abrupt end . Searing pain pushes her to the floor. As if a giant pushing her large belly downwards. She removes her skirt and blouse, lying down on the hard sand floor panting as injured animal. Pain as she never knew could be endured envelopes her every fiber. There is no one to scream out to for help. All she can do is endure what is happening to her.

      She tries to dream of Wade, walking to the highway flagging a car down to take her to the hospital or a doctor's office. She pulls her long hair: she attempts to scoot away from this searing tearing pain.

      Mercifully, a long pushing pain pulls at her entire body and she feels something between her legs. She pulls herself up to a wall, looks down, seeing the head and shoulders of her baby gives one more big push. In a mass of water, her body is free of this mass of slick wiggly, soft skin. My baby!

      She lays panting and weak, fearing her baby is dead. Soon the afterbirth comes out and the baby gurgles and gasps for air. She turns the baby over and see it is a male child appearing pale, not yet red, with a swollen face and a shock of black hair.

      A feeling of love overcomes her and a sense of protectiveness like that of a she cougar. Pure instinct takes over. She struggles to her knees, getting some rags to wipe her thighs, placing some between to try and stop the bleeding. She cuts his cord with a paring knife, and begins to rub her son with the only towel they own.

      As with Serrano custom, she will keep the cord that has been his connection to her. Hers has been kept. So when she goes to the other side, she will be entire, connected to her Mother. At this moment she longs to feel her Mother's soothing touch, hear her voice, feel safety for her and her child.

      She knows she is too weak to do anything but sit with her back against the wall rubbing her baby. The house is so hot the air seems too heavy to breathe. She looks at the watch ,Wade has been gone almost 12 hours. It is 5PM she has endured hours of searing pain. Yet when she looks at her Son all she feels is love. She knows she has to get help or they both will die, she is loosing so much blood.

      Pulling the sheet from the mattress she makes a sling for the baby she places him to her breast and he begins to suckle like a Wolf pup. She looks down at his features and says, Son your Native name will be Gray Wolf. Wades surname is Stone so the child will be Gray Wolf to the real people and to the whites he will be Gray Stone.

      Bird places his severed umbilical cord in the waist band of her skirt as she pulls on the clothing from the floor. She places him the sling, gathering up the rags she used, bundles them with the afterbirth, places the canvas bag with water on her shoulder, and leaves the house where her Son was born.

      She walks what seemed an eternity, only stopping to scoop the sand at the base of a Yucca Tree burying the afterbirth. Route 66 lies a mile away. It seems an eternity before she sees the heat waves of the asphalt highway ahead.

      Her baby makes soft noises on her back. His only protection from the sun is the sheet sling. She has no protection for her head. The sun is relentless. She is growing weaker and weaker.

      At sunset she stumbles into the Whiting Brothers filling station. Her foot touches a thin rubber tube on the ground. The bell rings. Out comes an old man looking at Bird. He screams for his wife.

      The desert, the highway, the old man and woman all going round and round in Birds mind. She collapse on to the oil stained sand. All she sees is a bright light and smells gas and oil...