Later, when we all meet at the lodge for breakfast I'm surprised. You don't order here. Breakfast is served with a sideboard filled with hot dishes in stainless steel with candles underneath. Scrambled eggs, potatoes and ham, a sort of casserole affair. Another dish holds bacon and sausage. Then there's toast and waffles and croissants, juice and milk and coffee. I spot tea bags, too,and a platter of sliced tomatoes and cantaloupe. It's a wonderful breakfast like in European hotels.

      Seated now and eating fast because we're so hungry, I feel like I've been up for several weeks, not just one night. If I had taken an amphetamine this is what I would feel like. Hyper, jumpy, not sure of myself. I'm getting a little paranoid about being too close to Ben and Ella. They seem to be talking up my Quest with everyone they meet and I'm starting to regret telling her what I did.

      Now the guys from last night have joined us in their hiking shorts and sweaters with small fanny packs and water bottles. Overhearing Ben and Ella talk about the best trails down to the Carson and along the Carson, they join in, and before you know, it five of us who are going.

      Both the fellows are from Santa Clara, California. Hiking is just a pastime with Hans and Fritz, not their real names but I call them that in my mind. They are so much alike and so much in love with themselves and each other that I'm amazed they even talk to us.

      None of us are really skilled hikers, but we're not planning a trip to the summit of Desolation. I've been there and done that years ago on my first Vision Quest, and I'll never go up there again. When I did, I was forty years old and quite slim and very strong from working as a cook in a fire-camp. I couldn't tolerate the 11,000 foot summit now at 64 I'm sure.

      Well, the city boys and girls really do believe that 4 miles is a big hike, and I don't disillusion them. I know my appearance doesn't invite a lot of confidence, but I know these mountains so well. Not this exact place, but mountains in general.

      We're off on the trail and down by the river by 10 a.m. On the way I explain the construction of the medicine wheel and being Laura the Loquacious I tell them a lot more, too, from what I learned.

      Like some tribes built permanent rock medicine wheels and were specific about the direction and the size of rocks. Some medicine wheels are still made in the southwest from different colors of sand. Those pictures are destroyed on purpose when the prayer is over The Alagonquin had a sort of wheel formed with people.

      Smoke Man Dancing, who I told you is a Shaman, told me of one of his healing ways. Medicine Man and Medicine Woman went into the circle to talk to the great spirit. If the sick one was able to be there in person they brought them into the wheel with the elder who was leading the prayer to the great spirit. Medicine women did this in a set apart shelter around some birth sites. Many of the people had a Medicine Bag, asort of instant medicine wheel which contained items of the real medicine wheel and often preformed very well, depending on the skill of the Beloved woman doing the ritual.

      Sometimes healing began with burning sage sticks and letting the smoke blow through the whole area. Everybody is cleaned by the smoke going over them. Many times tobacco is smoked in a pipe and blown in six directions to get the blessing of the spirits. The Eagle feather is used to wave the smoke and also to draw things in front of the Shaman as hetalks to the Great Spirit.

      People dance slow around the outside of the circle. The sick one is brought in when the Shaman is ready; then the east door is closed by pulling the stone shut. The Shaman and the men assisting are naked and have a small fire, too. They follow all the things the Shaman does. He throws punk in the fire, so they do. There is a lot of smoke, and everybody dances. Strange shadows of the dancers moving, naked bodies are cast on the sick one. The Shaman slows down and begins waving his eagle feather around to clear the aura of the one who's sick.

      Then it's like all hell breaks loose. The Shaman takes up his noisemakers and starts to scream and yell at the sickness and evil spirits, and he dances around and scares the bejesus out of the sickness and the the bejesus out of the person who's sick.

      Finally, the medicine woman comes and helps the sick one drink a herbal medicine she prepared, and they wash him in nice clean water and wrap him back up while they tell him how wonderful he is and brave and not frightened at all by weak and stupid evil spirits. They say only children are afraid of these stupid clowns of evil spirits, who will see his strength now and run out of him.

      He's taken back to his own home and loved ones stay with him until he either gets better and goes back to his normal routine or in case of a rattlesnake bite. Maybe they got there too late and he will die. But they honor him for being brave and going into the medicine wheel.

      The bag of stones is a representation of the wheel, especially when used along with western medicine and cleanliness and visits to clinics on the reservations to get shots for polio and other things.

      I told Ella I hoped she could see that this really is a wonderful spirit of healing and said the women I met up in Tahama on a reservation when I was there with Smoke Man Dancing years ago swore by the sweat lodge for general healing. Of course, they needed the right Shaman there for deep illness.

      The medicine wheel in my garden is not as big as I would like but it is about four feet in diameter. I got the stones from all over. Some came from Nevada from a very red sandstone cliff. A couple are sort of green stripped from feldspar in the rock, and I even have one of the small pieces from the lava of Mt. Saint Helena blowing up. A relative sent it to me as a souvenir

      Over the years since I put those stones in my garden, I have gone out to sit down on the ground and contemplate my own spirit. I go there and meditate, and I go there and pray sometimes. I go to church, too. so I'll have all my bases covered I always say.

      It's nice in the spring when bulbs come up and the vines and stuff are green. A Mulberry tree keeps me out of there for a whole month when it is full of pollen in the spring.

      Ella wants to know how big we are going to make this one, and if I need a shaman, where is one? I cant answer her questions directly nor Ben is asking if he should bring firewood or what. I have no idea how big I want the wheel, or how I'll manage it and won't until I pick the spot and look around for signs.

      I'm following all the directions I had from Smoke Man Dancing. The major hindrance is I don't have a fire permit, and I should have one if I am to carry out the whole ritual.

      I suggest that everyone rest and drink a big drink before we start the rock hauling. Hans and Fritz are really into this now. They have been making notes on the walk in. I guess I was in my teacher mode. I excuse my self to go in the bushes in private for a few minutes . While peeing I think, Oh Smoke Man where in the world did I pick up all these people? I hear a faint laugh. "Pull your pants up so I can come out and not have to look at your fat bum!"

      "Oh thank goodness you are here. Well, Guide of mine, how can I find birds or certain animals or insects to charm when I have all these people running around?"

      "Laura Peoples, that is your name", he sings out. "Maybe that is the sign, and you're missing it by being so worried about following some rules in your head. Let go and let things happen. There are more guides and spirits and helpers of guides and spirits than there are peoples." He laughed and disappeared again.

      They have found a shelf that is large and mostly flat down further. There are weeping willows and cottonwoods for shade. Sounds good. The river is pretty fast and has a lot of white water. It plunges down the mountain in a narrow channel but spreads out here where there is flat terrain. The water is shallow there, and we can see rocks, pebbles, and boulders any size we will need. Hans is there cleaning up an area about eight feet in diameter and circular. It's perfect. I see ants scattering, going to shout an alarm, no doubt.

      Ella and I go in the river in our walking shoes. The pebbles are killers on a tenderfoots feet. We work hard and haul out four big boulders into place, pushing, pulling, rolling. We have relied on Ellas compass to establish the east door which we are not to place till last. We place south, west, north, with two smaller boulders for holding in the power between the large boulders and hold the east stone away for the time being.

      In the center we have now two more directions to place. A flat for downand a sharp peaked triangle rock for up. Now all six directions are covered. On the flat down rock I need to place a small fire to make smoke for my blessing. I have a bag of Bull Durham in my pocket for the blessing. The spirits like it better than cigarette tobacco, though in a pinch even mentholated will do. When it comes to tobacco I don't think the spirits are all that discriminating. Bull Durham in those little white bags is not very good to my thinking. I break out in laughter when I have a recollection of Beloved smoking a cigar.

      I can see that Ella is tired, but not bored. She's a trouper for a city girl. She gets my sense of humor and I love her a little bit already, but I am a little bewildered because she's coming on to me. She knows what she's doing and I can tell she is tickled to death with the pace she is bringing to our relationship. I don't see myself ready for any kind of response at this time, yet I find my little bird fluttering in my throat when she smiles up at me.

      She reaches her hand out for a lift off the ground. "Lets go," she says and pus her arm around my waist and sort of drags me off from the guys to find some personal space, or so she says.

      We walk back to the river and when we sit down, she promptly puts her head in my lap. Chewing a piece of sour grass I had found for her, she asks me, "Do you mind if I get so personal?"

      "No, but you're so self possessed, and I really am not. I have to face some fears I have, and even a temporary relationship could distract me."

      She sits up, kisses me and laughs. "Then be distracted for two minutes before you do this thing. Actually.you're scaring me a little, and I think I may want to go back. I talked to Ben. He wants to stay because he's interested and likes you, and he said he wants to write you a song."

      I say, "Look, Ella, I think you ought to go back. This is not a sideshow no matter what you think. I'm serious. There's a power building, and I feel it. You are still not connected, but if you stay, I may not be well enough or powerful enough in my medicine to help you if you get frightened.."

      She jumps up, and we are walking back to camp before I realize I have not responded to her advances as she wished. Her feelings are hurt. I take her hand and squeeze it. We continue to hold hands as we walk back.

      It's getting on to late afternoon, and I am confused. It seems my guide is leaving it up to me how far I want to go with these new friends as spectators. Of course, they would not be able to stay with me when I make my actual request for a vision. For that I should be alone, as it is told in all the stories I have ever read. Shows what I know.