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Chapter Ten: To Scream at the Wind...I now have had my meeting with the elders where best for me to be placed. Thus far none of my clan has been found. Placement for me would be simple if I would agree to be taken in as wife helper or as a wife to a young Cherokee not of my clan. I tell the elders that I will be happy to sew, mend, launder all the quilts and donated clothing for my being allowed to stay here at the main group. I am hopeful to hear news of my sister Sara "Tsi-s-que" Father and still Lark is on my mind. My chances of hearing of them is much better here than were I on the prairie gathering buffalo chips for a family I do not know. I told the elders of my last night with Lark, and the Scots Dog Barney. They say nothing just look at each other then ask me if I could mark on a map where both A-wi-a and Larks father were buried, I nod yes. A rawhide map of our route is placed before me, I place my name both where A-wi-a and Larks father were laid, and I also place my name where I last was with Lark. The Elders speak among themselves, finally one says "This Scot's dog you speak of could he be the Scout of now Capt. Walker?" I say the soldiers name was Walker, I know not his rank. Again they speak low to each other then one looks toward me and says Capt. Walker is to be posted near here soon to guard the northern border of this nation his scout should be with him they will see to the matter of "a-ni-ga-to-no" (scout). They light their pipes to indicate the meeting is over, I ask if now I will be allowed tabac? I am humble I know myself far too young to be this bold. Chief Bushy Head himself looks to me "Rachel Walking Bear" woman you shall now be called "Ta-lu-gi-s-gi" (Iron) "A-wi-a" (Deer caller) he hands me a small pouch of tabac with hemp saying, "U-de-Ti-yi-s-gi" (Your Birthday) meaning this day in this room my new birth in this new nation, they now dismiss me with a sign to their breast of go. My walk back to the large tent is full of thoughts of revenge towards the Scots Dog Barney, I stop at the stone oven take my pipe from my skirt pocket I take a coal lighting my friend the pipe. As the smoke drifts skyward my thoughts travel upwards.. I walk into the tent and tell the Elsi, of my new name as well as my birthday gift! Her eyes smile as she asks me "would you have chosen to be known as your beloved A-wi-a"? I say I will be much honored. She says "then share your gift" I offer her my pouch. We sit smoking thinking of other than where we are. Now my days are filled with the work on the quilts of course the Elsi have assigned me to take the girl children to the stream for bathing on hot days. The Spirits of the lost souls are taken there to be bathed they still speak nothing of sense, their strange speech I know not of. Daily the children as well the lost souls seem gaining in strength girl children with big eyes look at these pitiful people I think the children see that things are not so bad for them. Construction of the buildings seems to drag, no real progress no boards or no nails. The stronger of the surviving young men sneak off in the night. When they are counseled they tell the Elders "Why should we work our selves to death only for the whites to run us off again taking what is not theirs?" The Elders pray for the Great Spirit to lend their knowledge to these young men to understand as far back as time is known, We as a people accept we own nothing ..we are to care for what we are entrusted we guard with our lives what we are to care for. These greedy people should not be empowered by us to change our way of life they only have power to move our physical bodies not our spirits. We must survive never allowing our spirits to live as trapped wild dogs. When the wind screams I too scream into the sky hopeful that my Spirit will carry on the wind to those now lost to me. I now see why this part of the Nation was chosen to be the headquarters of the 5 Civilized Tribes. There is a steam near by a river to the east far enough away that it will not flood as well as some hardwood trees for building. When wagons come to re-supply our materials and food, the federal troops come with their rancid fat meat, lard and weevil infested meal, taking the fresh leaving us the spoiled. I find it impossible to feel anything but seething contempt for greedy men with no honor that take from hungry children and old people. I make myself feel superior to them I make sure each stitch as perfect as I can to show the pride of my family and Clan. I found a remnant of a Star quilt like that of A-wi-a's it is not the same color but it gives me a pattern. In the fields there are many wild flowers to pick for stain the government sends bolts of muslin for summer bedding I will make a Star quilt for a present should my Father ever find me. I still do not speak when the soldiers and guards come into the main tent, They think me mute I think they will not fear speaking in front of me. I make motions to the children and Elsi when they are about, I motion the children we must leave to bathe. At the stream I hear a bow harp! My heart leaps for a moment thoughts of Lark, But no it is an older woman that has brought the senseless to wash. The music seems to soothe them, medicine of the cactus is given to them to keep them calm. As the children splash in the slow moving water I see a reflection looking across this stream I see A-wi-a standing like when she was young Mother to me, purple blouse gray cotton skirt deerskin slippers on her feet. My heart fills with a strange awareness I smell her scent it is as always that of pine needles which filled her mattress on the bed. She tells me to use wisdom not anger, to be aware of all who choose to help me remember the lizard? He is not as a snake he glides easy through both the soil and grass seeing all about him, yet no one takes a club to him be never the aggressor no matter how tempted . I ask her "Beloved where are my Father, Sister and Lark?" she tells me to not worry "Your Father and Sister will find you, Lark you must find she is in great pain but alive". My eyes leave her for only a moment looking down I see a Sun fish swim swiftly through the childrens feet they laugh when I look up A-wi-a is no longer there yet her scent hangs heavy and there are no pine trees for miles.. This is a good sign as I look towards the sky the rays of the Sun are the color of the Sun fish. I rub the bowl of my pipe in my pocket I know my journey will be even longer and never easy it must be meant I should be strong as Iron And cunning as the flushed Deer that I am now named for.. I see the Wind... As a tree I must not bend... My feet planted as roots in this land. This must be the Great Spirits plan.. Ladybirdã
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