We went over to mom Larie's today. She gave us some cute baby clothes and a picture of a little blond boy in a chair reading a book. She also gave Nathaniel a hard cover comic book. A few Sunday's ago we had gone w/ Mom and Dad and Debbie* to The River church to have Debbie prayed for. While we were there the preacher said everyone who has not had a child come up and get prayed for. Oddly enough I felt a warmth in my belly at that time. Mom said come on and dragged me up to get prayed for. He asked her how many children she wanted she said "I just want to be the grandmother!" He prayed for me. After he got done praying for all the people he said "Now you all go buy diapers". When we left mom's house that afternoon she said "Now you better go and buy those diapers." I did that yesterday I think.
The day before this when we came over to help Mom and Dad out with Debbie. Mom was in the bedroom crying and fasting and praying to God. Mom was feeling like she was the reason Debbie has the problems that she does. I don't think so. Mom then blessed me. She prayed with her hand on my head. She said I was still immature in my faith, but that I would grow into a great woman of God. At that moment I felt I could never stray from God. I have been too blessed.
When his parents asked us to go with them to that church I wasn't too happy we were going. I had read about that church in a book called Counterfeit Revival. I am even more convinced now that they are not a true church. Mom was so believing that Debbie would get healed. We went along as support and I also thought that if Debbie was going to get healed it would be because God can do anything and Mom had a lot of faith, so He would do it for her. I personally do not believe that any person can boast that they have the gift of healing. It is God's to give and take away at His own time. When we arrived we went and sat close to the front. We were controlling Debbie and in one of her times she hit a boy in front of us. Some ushers came and got us. We were thinking that maybe they were going to take Debbie to get her healed. I mean if the preacher could heal people why not bring Debbie to the front and do it. There was obviously something not right about her. But no they moved us to the back of the church. There was a lot of music and then alot of asking for money. Then the event I described above. Then more asking for money and singing. After the service they tried to get the preacher to come and see Debbie. He was too busy so his father came and prayed for Debbie. We saw no change. She actually almost seemed worse. One of us asked why she wasn't better. The man told us that if we didn't believe she was healed that she wouldn't be. I think that was a terrible thing to say. Kind of that it wasn't his problem she wasn't healed it was our faith. Dad just walked Debbie to the car. He looked quite disgusted.
The thing that puzzles me is still why did I fall to the ground (slayed in the spirit) as people say when the pastor touched my head when I was up there. I mean I know that he pushed me down to start but why did I fall. I do not believe that that sort of thing is of God and I had read about it in Counterfeit Revival. Why would God who communicates with you through the brain that he gave you want you out of your mind? It is quite strange.
Due to a dream I had Nathaniel told me " We are going to have a baby Beth". I can't put the rest of the signs pointing to it. I do believe that God opens and closes the womb in his good time. Whatever is his plan.
