All of my life I kept wondering why I had problems making friends. The thing of it is I didn't. I made it so hard on people to be my friend that they gave up after time. Well, in high school that is. I also know why I also had problems with dating. Not only did I do the same thing as I did with people who wanted to be my friend, I also had the added problem of being surrounded by people who think your worth has to do with your looks. I feel sorry for them now, when for so many years I tried to be what they wanted me to be. I want to be me now. I've always said that but in the back of my mind I kept thinking "Don't do that," or "Don't do this, they won't like you if you do." Why I did that for so many years I'm not sure. It seems kind of odd that it's taken me so long to finally stop trying to be what I think everyone wants me to be like. But then I think of all the people who still are that way. Then I don't feel so bad. I feel like a new me. Someone who isn't trying to fit in. A person with there own mind. And knows how to use it.