Little things are making me miss Jim more and more everyday. Things like when I get done at work for the night I would normally take my tie and name tag off, unbutton the top two buttons of my shirt, and take out Jim's tags. I can't do that now. I gave his tags back. But that isn't the only thing. Seeing couples together do it too. Like tonight a guy moved stray hairs from his girlfriends face. That was enough to make me think how much I miss Jim. I know that eventually he'll read my thoughts pages again and read this. I'm not saying it cause I want to make him feel bad or anything like that. I didn't want to make him feel like I was another responsibility to him. But some how I did. I didn't want to be a burden. But I was. I didn't want to be another worry. But I was. I feel bad for doing that to him. I feel bad that it ended (that part of our relationship anyway. We are still friends). I still think about him daily. But from what he's told me, I doubt he's thought much of me. And that's good cause he has so many worries on his mind. Sometimes when I'm at work I feel like I'm going to turn around and he'll be standing there. Coming just to say "Hi." for a little bit. But I know that isn't going to happen. Not right now anyway. I know I should just move on and stop feeling the way I do. But it's hard. He keeps telling me that there are other men out there like him. He's the first I've met in 25 years. But if I have to wait another 25 years to find a good man like him, then I will. I'm not going to settle for someone that isn't what I want. I have my mind set on that. If I have to be alone for years for that to happen. So be it. Jim in the least has shown me what a real relationship can be. And that's what I want. And I'll wait for as long as it takes to get it.