C:/Mydocuments/Annediary/entry20/11/00
I
can’t fucking believe it, here I am after years of trying to stay away, I’m
back home. Well I guess I could
just leave them to suffer it alone, to try and sponge the money from somewhere,
or leave poor Dad to the dear old NHS. That
isn’t our way, we’re a family no matter what, and I guess despite the fact
that on a mere technicality, that of being, well, dead, I am still family and
have to help.
I
know this sounds strange, but then my life is I guess pretty strange.
The first part of it, the living bit was pretty boring but I mean the
mere fact that I’m writing this and claiming to be dead gets my vote on the
strange factor ;-) It’s just not something you expect, for some guy to come
into your life, say hey that’s pretty cool stuff you do, wanna carry on doing
it forever? Then well killing you and changing everything so you can work
forever.
Now
I’m really going off on a tangent, for the purposes of this, my autobiography,
I’m going to take a step back and tell you about my life from my earliest
memories to why the fuck I’m back in “ sunny” Coventry.
Well
my name is Julie, not that most ppl call me that any more, but I’ll stick to
Julie for now! I’m oh about 27 yrs old I reckon, but my body remains that of a
nubile 24 yr old *grin * I was born
in a hospital, in February 1973, and I can’t remember much more til I was 7 or
8, that or it was just terminally boring. Oh I guess I ought to mention I’m
the eldest of 3, I have 2 v. annoying little bros, not so little now I guess,
but back then they were hell to live with! Daniel is 2 yrs younger than me and
James is 4 yrs younger, mum and dad sure liked us even spaced lol.
Other than my annoying bros childhood was crap, went to school, kept my
head down and tried to do well. And
I guess I did do pretty well, G.C.S.E.`s all passed, ‘A; levels passed too,
and on to uni. Its was during my 3rd yr at school that I
developed my interest in computers, we never really had the cash for one at home
u c and though considering what they are like now, those things were bricks, but
they caught me, hook, line and sinker. I
couldn’t get enough of the things; luckily I was allowed to take G.C.S.E.
computer studies and ‘A’ level too. I
learned more and more about these blessed machines, how too make them do
whatever I wanted. When I applied
to uni I begged my parents to buy me one, and bless them they saved and saved to
get me the best one they could, it wasn’t brilliant but remember I’m talking
of the days b4 the Pentium, it worked and more importantly it was mine, and I
planned to upgrade with every penny of my loan, yes they have been around that
long!!
Ok
my uni yrs were ones spent in front of a computer screen, cold pizza and hot
coffee at my side, tapping away at a keyboard til the sun rose. I learned how to create all sorts of programmes, ones for
boring assignments to teach us Java and C++ and all the rest.
But by then my pet love was games, and I mean long rp games, I loved all
the little ins and outs that made the little worlds on my screen, the fact that
I had the power to create these places. Oh
yes I love rp, not done much anymore, its all changed, but I still love the
games, and still write them. As a
side line I would often write little web based java games, just short shoot em
up`s mainly, kill barney, blow up take that.
I have a web site of those now, and it’s amazing how many hits I get
and requests for more celebs ppl want to put a bullet in!!
Now
these games of mine, take time, effort and imagination, and I guess it paid off
cos not long after I left uni, with a first, I might add. I got offered a job in Bournemouth, some up and coming
company looking for new talent. And
lets face it Cov wasn’t going to offer me anything, so off I went.
Being by the sea is pretty cool; having a beach in winter all to yourself
to wander along and collect ideas was the best.
I loved the place and I loved the job.
The company was damn small, only 5 of us, but we got on well and
functioned like the great team we were. We
created some of the best games out, not that most ppl will remember them now *
grin* but they made us money and
got our work well known. During
this time I kept up my web based games, taking advantage of any new celebs that
hit the big time. I worked hard and
again as I always do, kept my head down, I don’t like being noticed as long as
ppl like my work, in fact my work mates used to joke that I was Anon, that
everyone knew my work but not me, the started calling my An, and I guess it
stuck, now all my work is signed, Anne. I
know it’s boring but I was never one for all those cool hip sn’s that
everyone else uses, it’s my joke and I don’t care its crap.
I don’t advertise it, well cept now of course, but generally ppl irl
just know me as Julie and ppl o/l think I’m Anne, keeps my worlds apart and
that’s what counts as far as I care.
Now
I worked away happily for a couple of yrs, sending money home to my parents cos
mum didn’t work and dad was made redundant, it sucks but they were skint with
2 bright kids at home, so I was good and helped whenever I could. I managed to
avoid any kind of real social life; if a guy asked me out I laughed, said no,
and figured he was on a dare from his mates.
This doesn’t mean I didn’t have friends, but most of them were o/l
and I didn’t have to see them face-to-face.
Irl I had friends too, mostly those ppl I worked with, so my social
circle grew as the company did, we expanded to o/l business, and I worked on the
web site, creating the jpegs and crazy pics we used.
It was going well and life was as good as I expected it to be.
Now
when I hit 24 was when my life changed, not that it got much more interesting,
but it gave me something new to look forward to, as long as I’m good I’ll
live to see the future! You see
this guy, for reasons of well reasons, I’m not going into too much detail
here, you see it not something your everyday person would want to know or
believe, and I guess most of the ppl reading this will just figure I’m either
nuts or this is a story and I can’t be arsed to make up the details of how
ones becomes one of the living dead, I personally think there’s enough shit
out there for ppl to figure it out. But
anyway this guy, says he’s an artist, interested in new forms of creative
expression, he wants to explore the outer limits of what humanity calls art. And
well I reckon what I do is a form of artist representation.
Something for the 21st century and all that, it was great to
have someone to talk to, someone who didn’t really know what it was I did, but
loved it, if I showed him a really cool gif of mine, he’d sit in front of it
for hours just staring and exploring what it was.
He made me feel important and like I mattered to him in some deep and
special way. He showed me his work,
I wasn’t all that impressed, I mean its only paper and paint, not that I dared
tell him, he was my future, my key and I didn’t want it threatened. After months of working with me, night after night, he
fulfilled his promise, he told me he felt my work was justified in his mind as a
form of art; it had entranced him time and again and was layered with beauty in
ways he hadn’t seen in all his yrs of searching.
This was the kind of recognition that most ppl can only dream of, and I
guess because of this I loved him, not in the hot, sweaty way of the flesh but
in the pure form of art, he was my mentor, though when I told him this he only
laughed and said I’d never know.
So
on whatever night he chose he took me away and killed me, it was quick I think,
I can’t remember any pain, not then anyway.
As my body was brought back to life, I remember exquisite pain, blissful
pain, as he poured through me, I remember how the world changed to my eyes, the
colours brighter, the sounds louder no longer hindered by the internal sounds of
a living body. I obviously quit my
job, no more days in the office for me, and I lived with my master for a yr or
so, learning the ropes, teaching him what I could of my art as he taught me his.
He taught me to move faster and to see the inner light all beings.
He said that was all I needed from him and that he had to continue his
search, that I was his first special childe and that he wanted me to have
brothers and sisters to share my love of the created image in all its forms.
So
with a sad and heavy heart I watched him leave me, but I was not alone, for I
knew others of my kind, though not truly the same, they didn’t see the true
beauty of form and had other agendas, but I wasn’t alone. Not able to work as I did b4 I worked freelance for any
company, creating my own web-based games as I had b4.
with the new insight I had my games took on a new dimension and I was
making plenty of money. But despite
my change I still felt loyalty to those who had brought me life in the first
place and carried on sending them the money they needed.
And
guys and gals, it is this deep loyalty and love that I have for my parents that
has brought me back here. You see
my dad is very ill, so ill in fact they don’t think he’s going to live very
much longer, unless he has an operation, but the waiting lists are long and time
and money are short. My dear family
need me and so here I am, back home, in my old room, sleeping in my old bed.
Of course I had to somehow tell my family that I wasn’t the child I
was, that I couldn’t be down for breakfast in the morning and why I was up all
night. And of course they thought I
was mad, that I’d been taken over by some weird cult or something, it took
time, time I hid out and avoided what ever vampiric society there was here.
But now they know and realise that I’m not insane or under the control
of someone who is. I am a vampire;
I am dead but yet still live. I am
lucky they see that under that I am still good old Julie Bradley, their loving
daughter. My brothers are mad with
jealousy, or were, I think they realise it is also a curse and accept me, they
even let me feed from them now and again, when I’m too busy in front of my
computer to step outside and find a body willing or not.
Once
my family had accepted me as one of their own again I made the step to find out
what my other family were like here, though old friends in Bournemouth I found
out the name of the Prince and managed to let him know I was here and ask for
residence here. I’m still not
sure how much I should tell him of why I’m here.
I met him last night at the first meeting of vampires that I have dared
attend in this city; he seemed an angry and loud man, prone to violence and
displays of rage. I witnessed him
kill another of our kind in well excuse the pun cold blood.
I’m not too sure how I’ll cope but the city seems to have a lot of
problems and I figure my knowledge of computers and security might well be of
help.
Security?
Now I haven’t mentioned that, but I figured most ppl would have guessed that
when you write programmes and develop systems well you don’t want any Tom,
Dick or Harry getting in there and stealing all your secrets, I mean I’m not
the best there is but since not many ppl in Coventry seem to know much I may
well be able to help.
Thus
concludes my thoughts of the day, this being the first entry in my diary,
explaining the whys and wherefores of my life to date, so that no other
explanations will be necessary as I continue my ramblings.
Anne