title: the next step
Author: Empress Vader
feedback: Lady_Vader21@yahoo.com
rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Shorties in Love


Summary: The life of the young teenage Cindy, gets more complicated with
her girlfriend and her family.

Author's note: With Cindy approaching seventeen sex becomes an issue in
this story alongside continuing issues with family. It's still a PG-13 teen
age love story

-------------------

Original Cindy thought she was prepared for it, because of Diamond. But the
truth was, she hadn't really had a chance to deal with a relationship with
her. Almost as soon as she had accepted her feelings for the girl, Diamond
had been sent to prison. They'd never really had a chance for the everyday.

And then there was Skate. They met, they'd dated, and now, 4 months later,
they were a "couple". Skate's parents didn't know, not that they paid much
attention to thier daughter anyway. Cindy's parents knew and had invited
Skate to dinner once (well Cindy's mother did). It was then she had to deal
with the family tension. She creeped her way up to public affection -
holding hands, hugging, kissing. After Diamond, she thought kissing in
public wouldn't be a problem, but it had been. The time she kissed Diamond
she had been caught in the sensation of the momment, but she still found
herself wondering who was staring at her these days, who was whispering.
She still wasn't comfortable with it. But that's why she did it, to get
over it. She was bored with being afraid of who she was, what she felt. So
she ignored that fear and perhaps appeared more confident than she actually
was. She wondered if the same was true for Skate, who seemed completely
comfortable with everything.


But thoughts of Diamond never left her. Diamond was still a part of her.
And what made her feel quite guilty, was that any free weekend Cindy
wished, Skate would drive her up to see Diamond. The word would light up
ten times brighter when she saw Diamond. They were bonded somewhere deep
down inside. But she loved being with Skate. She was warm and funny. And
she had a magnetic personaltiy that grabbed you and pulled you in. And she
was also ready for the next step and Cindy wasn't.

Then there was Blaze. Skate's ex-boyfriend. Cindy sat perched on a bench in
the junkyard watching them exchange playful hits. Then she jumped on his
back and he walked up to Cindy. Blaze was a well put together 18 year old
guy, dark-chocolate skin, and curly hair that he sometimes braided. Skate
claimed she and Blaze were only friends, but but they seemed way too
friendly for Cindy's taste sometimes. Knowing Skate switch hit only made
the threat of Blaze all to difficult to deal with. In fact, it made her
paranoid. She tried to ignore it, push it aside. But the worry never quite
went away.

Blaze walked up to Cindy with Skate on his back. As he dropped her to the
ground, he and Cindy shared "the look".

"What's up Cindy?" Blaze said.

"What's up," Cindy said placing a protective arm around Skate.

"Yawl comin' to my party right?" asked Blaze.

"Cindy don't know." Cindy said. "She thinks we got plans."

"Stop frontin' girl," Skate told her. "We have nothing better to do. We'll
be there."

Blaze smiled and walked away.

"You ready to go now?" Cindy asked annoyed as she walked off and grabbed
her bike.

"Sure," Skate said walking behind her and grabbing her own wheels.

They mounted thier bikes and left the junkyard hangout together.

"Why you always trippin' about Blaze?" Skate asked as they rode.

"Because Blaze always got his hands on my girl and she seems to like it."

"Gurl, Every weekend, what am I doing?" Skate said. "Taking you down to the
jail to see your girl Diamond," she continued. "Blaze and I are way over as
lovers, but we're still friends."

"Wait, Did you say lovers?"

"He was my boyfriend, of course I fucked him. Why are you surprised?"

Cindy was silent. She finally shrugged.

"Ahh, it's all become clear. The reason why all we ever do is kiss."

"I don't want to talk about this," Cindy said flushed with embarassment.
She increased speed on her bike and sped toward home.

Skate matched her speed, but kept the conversation on pause. They reached
her house and went inside. Cindy made some sandwitches. They were sitting
at the table when Skate started again.

"Can I ask you something? How far have you gone with a girl?"

Cindy remained silent, akwardly staring at her sandwitch as she picked the
crust of the bread off in specks.

"Come on," Skate said. "I'll spill about my first time and you can tell me
about yours."

"Then it will be a one sided conversation," Cindy mumbled.

Skate smiled. "Really, never? That's so cute."

"Cute?" Cindy replied annoyed.

"So you've never been with a girl or a guy?"

"Never, okay, just drop it."

"Have you played alone?"

"KIERSTEN!!"

"Sorry," Skate said. Her birth name was rarely spoken by anyone who wasn't
her family. "I didn't realize you were so inexperienced."

"Well, I am. The only girl, the only person, I've ever even been nude
around, outside of mom and dad in the diaper years, is Josie when we were
little and use to take baths together."

Skate laughed.

"Do you find something funny?" Cindy asked.

"What about Man?" Skate asked between giggles.

"You better keep on laughing," Cindy said. "Because that's got to be a
joke."

"I'm sorry baby," Skate said getting up to wrap her arms around her. "I'm
getting you upset.

Cindy smiled as she reached up to touch the warm arms around her. But she
noticed the issue of sex had come up alot more recently.

"You know I love you," Skate said kissing her cheek.

As if fate decided make the slightly improved comfort level worse, her dad
stepped into the room. Knowing her dad still didn't approve of her
relationship, Skate backed off and sat back in her chair.

"Hi dad," Cindy said breaking the akward silence.

"Hello Cindy," he said quickly and left the room as fast as possible.

"I forgot how he reacts to me?" Skate said. "Forgot I have the plague where
he's concerned.

"It's not you," Cindy said sadly. "It's me. You better go. See you later
boo."

"See you later," Skate said giving her a quick peck on the lips.

Skate walked toward the door and then turned back.

"Want me to pick you up after school tommorow."

"Sure"

Skate smiled, blew her and kiss and left the house. Cindy threw out what
hadn't been eaten, cleaned the table, and walked into the living room. Her
father was reading the paper. She sat down beside him, waiting for him to
say something. Seeing this wasn't happening, she decided to speak.

"It's not a disease Dad," Cindy said to him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"My girlfriend. I like girls dad. Why you can't just accept your daughter
is different?"

Her father put down the paper and looked her in the eye.

"I know there a lot of new-aged thinkers or whatever they are that would
like to think what your doing is okay, but not your father." The anger was
blazing in his eyes now. "I WILL NOT accept it. It's against God and nature
and I can only pray you'll get over it."

Cindy didn't know how to reply to that. Her hormones often caused her to
snap back in anger, especially in situations like this. But being called
un-godly struck something deeper. And tears flowed instead of rage. She ran
to her room and fell on her bed in tears. She hated her damn teenage
hormones.




Her father never came to console her. She cried herself to sleep. She
dreamed of the warmth she once felt with him. She'd ridden on his shoulders
through a crowd of people. She'd been shivering in the cold and he picked
her up and wrapped her in his coat. Sleeping on his lap after a nightmare.
Sitting on his lap as they sang gospels in her grandfather's church, her
father's father.

As she awoke, she began to wonder if her Grandfather knew and how the
religious man would feel about a gay granddaughter. She wondered if she
could ever pretend she wasn't who she was. She noticed her mother sitting
at the foot of the bed as she sat up.

"Hey baby girl," her mother said as she looked at her daughter.

"Hey mom," Cindy said sitting up completely.

"Your father told me what happened. I don't think you should kiss your
girfriend around him."

"It was on the cheek for god sake. He kissed me a million times and no one
thought it was incest."

"Still," her mother said. "He's not ready to accept it. His father is a
minister, what you are goes against everything he was raised to believe."

"You make it sound like I'm some kind of monster," Cindy said.

"You're not baby," her mother said putting a gentle hand on her face.
"You're my daughter. I was shocked at first, too. I mean who is prepared
for it. But Lord help me, I actually like Skate. And you know what I like
the most about her?"

"What?"

"The way she makes you smile."

The statement made Cindy smile and she walked up to her mother and threw
her arms around her.

"Thank you mom," Cindy said. "For still loving me."

"Your dad still loves you too sweetie," her mom said patting her head. "He
just has to learn like I did. It isn't about what we want for you, it's
about what you want for you, what makes you happy. And I want you to know
if it makes you happy, I'll be happy for you."

"Why can't dad accept me?" Cindy asked.

"He'll come around, he loves you, you're his daughter."



~*~*~*~*~*~*~


As planned, Skate picked her up the next day. As they drove to Skate's
house, Cindy told her about the incident with her father. Skate said she'd
be happier if she stopped worrying about what her parents think about her
life. She knew Skate's parents were no more than shadows, ghost, in her
life that provided her livelyhood. Perhaps one day it would be that way
with her father?

When they got to her house, she popped in a movie Cindy had never seen
before called "X-men". She ate popcorn, but Skate wasn't to fond of snacks
that weren't sweet so she had a fruit shapped lollypop in her mouth. They
talked about how cool it would be to have some of the mutants powers. She
wondered if anything like that ever really happened, in real life or
otherwise. If mutants really exsisted, some looking just like herself and
Skate and such, others with physical deformities or similarities to
Animals. And if so, was the descrimination they felt as strong as the
descriminations against Blacks, gays, and women that had happened over the
years. She fell into all three catergories. After what happened with her
father, she felt a kindship to them. She suppose their were always reason
people had for hating others, but they were never good reasons.

She thought of the things that could have been accomplished if the
"ordinary" (if anyone was ordinary) people in the movie had embraced the
mutants. She wondered what they could have contributed to making the world
a better place. Even with out mutations, how many great minds had been lost
to the descrimination of the time. She loved her father and she realized
with his prejudice he could have been horrible to her and put her out, beat
her, or worse. He had to love her somewhere down deep, but when she looked
at the close minded Senator Kelly all she saw was her father.

Skate's money or her families money had allowed her to be spoiled a bit.
Skate just gave her things. She sometimes ate at the house just because the
food was delicious, she didn't mind sitting under the stares of the family.
She knew if they knew the truth about Skate's realtionship with her it
would be much worse, so at some point she decided it was better if they
didn't know. Though sometimes she wasn't sure that Skate's brother didn't
know. Skate didn't seem to care about the imported food and high priced
electronics, but Cindy wondered if Skate would miss them when she moved
out. She always said she would run away, but she never did. Even with the
bad parental relationship, she didn't understand why Skate would want to
escape this fantasy neighborhood frozen in time, seemingly unaffected by
the pulse.

As the credits rolled, the two girls got up and walked toward the kitchen
to dump the kernels from the popcorn bowl. Cindy stopped at the steps and
looked up them. She had never been up to the second floor where all the
family bedrooms lay. It was like Skate was scared of the second floor, even
though her old bedroom was up there. She called it "the princesses" room
and she wasn't her anymore. Her brother Christopher seem to live up there,
only appearing to annoy his sister. He had a private tutor with his sister
for many years. Skate had decided she wanted to go to school and got her
wish. Her parents weren't fond of public education and put her in a private
institution.

Cindy dangled around the stairs and took a step up. Skate was still in the
kitchen, she took another. The unfamiliar and mysterious realm known as
"upstairs" was calling to her.

"Where are you going?" Skate said coming out the kitchen.

"I want to see your room," Cindy replied. "What's the big deal?"

"My rooms downstairs alright."

"I want to see your old room," Cindy said. "I haven't hid anything from
you. You've been through my whole house."

"Your whole house is one floor and a handful of rooms!" she yelled.

Cindy looked embarassed.

"Sorry," she said coming and wrapping her arms around her.

At that point, Christopher appeared. He tended to do that, appear like some
phantom.

"Kiersten thinks she's too good for us," Christopher said as Skate
detangled herself from Cindy. "She considers the dregs like you to be the
saints of our time, so she can't possibly venture in to the evil upstairs
where the well-off live. No, she'd rather be below the butler. Then she can
feel good about herself. "

"Shut the fuck up," Skate said.

"My dear sister, such profantity is truly unnecessary, I believe."
Christopher smiled maliciously. "But maybe it's something different
altogether that keeps you away. Memories of a certain Mandingo warrior and
your animal urges letting go."

"Bastard," Skate said leaping on her brother. She swung a fist at his face
as he landed on the ground. Cindy was shocked at how quickly the fist came,
beating the face of her borther. When Cindy got over the shock, she grabbed
Skate and pulled her off her brother. His nose was possibly broken and he
had a black eye. He groaned, but didn't lift himself off the floor. Skate
was still in a rage as Cindy held her.

"Crazy Bitch," Christopher said as Davis the butler came in the room and
panicked.

"Young Master--" Davis began, but didn't finish the sentence. "Oh, my god."

He helped the teenager up and walked him into the kitchen.

"We better disappear," Skate said.

Cindy nodded and they left in her car.




Over A year ago the bus station had been Cindy's haven, her place to go to
think. But a lot had changed in a year, she had changed in a year, even if
the place hadn't. She'd grown up playing there with Josie and she'd
discovered her true self there when she kissed Diamond. It all seemed so
long ago now, but it seemed like the right place to go to talk or not talk,
whichever was needed.

And Skate didn't seemed to want to talk. As they settled themselves in one
of the old busses, Cindy talked. She told Skate about Josie. About how they
had planned thier double weddings in this bus station. She explained that
had been long before she'd ever even had a boyfriend, let alone a
girlfriend. She decided to talk about Diamond, since in didn't seem to
bother Skate. She told her how she had refused Diamond's advances at first,
denied the feelings inside herself for Nicole. It was nothing Skate hadn't
heard before, but Cindy spoke in more detail.

She wanted to ask her about the incident with her brother, but she wouldn't
pry. If Skate wanted to talk, she'd talk.

"Why'd you bring me here?" Skate asked after awhile.

She was resting against Cindy's warm chest as she asked it.

"I don't know," Cindy said. "This was a part of me, a part of my childhood.
I just wanted to share it."

"Are you still in love with her?" Skate asked, seeming jealouse to Cindy
for the first time.

"Who?" Cindy asked, hoping she wasn't talking about Diamond. She didn't
know how to answer that.

"Diamond," Skate stated clearly.

"Of course not," Cindy sort of mumbled. "I mean I thought I was, but--"

"You want me to be honest about Blaze," Skate said holding the other girls
hand, playing with Cindy's fingers.

"What about him?" Cindy asked with her heartbeat increasing in fear.

He isn't just my ex-boyfriend, he was my first boyfriend, my first
everything, my first love," she said sadly. "And my first time."

Cindy didn't know if she wanted to hear anymore. Skate read this on her
face.

"I'm just saying. I understand the Diamond thing, because I've been there.
Been to that place where you're so in love, nothing can touch you, nothing
can compete. Blaze threw color in my black and white world. I know what
it's like to feel you begin and end with another person."

"You had that with Blaze?"

"I had that with Elijah."

"Elijah?"

"Elijah is Blaze, Blaze is Elijah. But Skate didn't meet Blaze, Kiersten
met Elijah. Kiersten didn't really think for herself. Kiersten wasn't
alive, she just exsisted as an extension of her parents. Elijah made
Kiersten real. Elijah made Skate," Skate smiled, but thier was still a hint
of sadness in her eyes. "I was lost until I met him, but then I got lost in
him. Instead of opening up myself to the world beyond home, I just stayed
beside him, let him be everything. After while he said I was to clingy. I
got mad, met Camille, she and I had some fun and then broke up. Became
friends with Blaze again, slept together, but decided not to get together.
It's a vicious cycle with us."

"Diamond and I never had time for all that."

Skate sat up to look at her. "Maybe that's the problem with us, you were
cheated out of it. Maybe that's why you're holding back, because you're
still on that first love high. You haven't had the lows."

Cindy sighed. "I'm not holding back, I'm just." She reached out, brushed
away a strand of Skates hair. She traced a finger along the side of her
face. "You know I'm totally into you. I--"

"I know, but --"

Cindy leaned in and cut her off with a short delicate kiss.

"You still don't think of me, like you think of her," Skate said to Cindy.

"But I do love you," Cindy said.

"Really?" Skate asked.

"Really," Cindy replied. "You make me happy."

They kissed again. Softly, but more intense then before. Skate deepened the
kiss and thier hands began to travel all over each other. There was a
little bit of akwardness in there movements, but they enjoyed the touch of
one another. Skate was beautiful. She was white, but no one really sweated
tthe black/white thing much, most had more important concerns in thier own
lives. Skate took good care of her skin, it was one of the first things
Cindy notice. She was always amazed by how soft Skate was. Skate didn't
care much for make-up, but she used this really expensive lotion daily. Her
green eyes had always been enchanting, because Cindy had never met anyone
with green eyes, white or otherwise. Skate had a sweet tooth, so she always
seemed to taste sweet. And she smelled like baby powder, which Cindy found
more appealing than most perfumes. There were a lot of things that made her
like this girl, but a shadow still hung over the momment.

Skate kissed Cindy's chin and then her neck. Then Skate began to unbotton
Cindy's shirt. Then something happened inside her, she was flushed with
this sudden fear.

"I can't," she suddenly said moving the other girl's hands away.

"Why?" Skate asked.

"It isn't about Diamond," Cindy stated. She sighed as she attempted to find
the words for her explanation. "From what I hear, from what I can tell,
guys are pretty happy if they can stick thier thing in you and ejaculate."
She saw Skate holding in a laugh and Cindy tried not to blush. She was
uncomfortable talking about her problem, but she needed to explain. "But I
wouldn't . . . I don't know . . . what to do to . . .make it good, for
you."

Skate held in a laugh threatening to burst through her face. Holding on to
a straight face, she said, "I felt the same way, with Camille. It's okay,
don't think about the mechanics, just let me lead."

Skate reached for her, but she jumped up and walked away.

"I'm just," Cindy said nevervously. "All wound up now. I can't."

"It's alright," Skate said.

"Shit, I'm such a loser." Cindy cursed to herself. "Let's get out of here
before I embarass myself more."

"Don't be embarrassed," Skate said as she got up, pulled her close for a
hug and kissed her cheek.

They took hands and walked out the bus station.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night they went to Blaze's party. She wished Blaze's party could have
been avoided. Skate had finally talked about her past with Blaze, but it
didn't make watching them any easier. Watching the two bodies on the dance
floor so familiar with each other unnerved her. Why couldn't she just let
go and be with Skate? Was it Diamond? Despite all her explaining away, she
wasn't sure Diamond had nothing to do with her reluctance. Was there
something wrong with her? Would she lose Skate?

She didn't want to lose Skate, for a thousand reasons. She hadn't had a
female friend since Josie left and they'd lost contact. Her family wasn't
comfortable with her anymore. The boys she hung out with were idiots on so
many matters. Not many girls seemed to be very comfortable with her, she
guessed they all thought she wanted to sleep with them (on some level, they
were as stupid as the boys). But these were reasons to keep her as a
friend, not a girlfriend. Searching deeper she knew she loved Skate's
touch, her smell, her cool stuff -- but that was so wrong. Wrong, but true.
But if Skate lost all her money tommorow, she wouldn't let her go.

Diamond was also a shadow over them, she couldn't deny it. Unlike Skate,
her "first" had been broken. Diamond was her first love, but Skate was her
first real girlfriend. Her romance with Diamond happened and was over in
the a single breath. She'd hardly had time to think about what she was
doing, she just felt with Diamond. In less than two weeks, Diamond had made
her fell alive and then she was gone. Skate had introduced her to going
out, dating, doing couple things. skate had sat at her mother's dinner
table, Skate and she had had water fights while washing her car, shared
long lazy afternoons hanging out or just walking. Her first were split
between these two people.

Cindy looked back at the dance floor. Blaze and Skate, no Elijah and
Kiersten, did they belong together? Would they be together in the end? Was
Cindy just another pit stop on the road back to Elijah?

The song they were dancing to ended and a slow song replaced it. Skate
abandoned her ex on the floor and came and grabbed her girlfriend. They
went out on the dance floor and Skate threw her arms around her. They moved
easily to the tune as they looked at each other. They were comfortable with
each other, with these momments now. And most, if not all, of the people at
the party knew about the relationship, so thier was no need to look for
gawking eyes.

"I don't like seeing you unhappy," Skate said. "Smile."

Cindy hadn't realized she looked unhappy, but looking into Skate's eyes she
couldn't stay that way. She smiled upon comand. When she and Skate were
close like this, it felt good, it felt right, and doubt melted away.



A few hours later Cindy and skate escaped to the porch, They sat under the
stars, making out as the had a thousand times before. Then without waring,
Cindy Stopped. Skate looked confused.

"What's wrong?" Skate asked

"Skate, if you ever want more -- tell me," Cindy stated sadly, but
sincerly.

"More meaning?"

"More meaning Blaze...Elijah...whatever."

"What about him is more?" Skate asked her.

"He can give you what you want without wiggin' out like I do."

"You can't mean sex," Skate said.

"In a way," Cindy replied. "I see the way you two are, Cindy isn't blind.
You act like you want to be back together with him."

"Are you trying to break up with me?" Skate asked.

"No," Cindy said. "But Blaze knows Kiersten. Blaze is the reason you beat
up your own brother. What's that all about?"

Skate sighed. She took Cindy's hand.

"Let's go," Skate said. "I have something to show you."

The two girls got up and walked up to Skate's car. They got in and drove
away.


------

Skate was silent during the drive back to her house. Cindy sat in silence
trying to decide if she had upset Skate to much, asked to many questions.
When they arrived, the silence continued. She followed Skate through the
doors of the quiet house. Then to her surprise, Skate started up the
staircase to the second floor. They never went up there. Cindy walked up
the steps behind her without questions.

It was late, no one was awake, not even the butler. She wondered what
Skate's parents had thought when they saw there injured son. What would
they say if they woke up and saw Cindy creeping around there house, some
poor little Negro child that they barely trusted. Even though her parents
thought the two girls were just friends, she knew they didn't like the
friendship. And if Christopher ever revealed the truth of thier
relationship, she wasn't sure how Skate's parents would react.

Skate opened a door and Cindy waited to find some disaster area. Instead,
she saw a pink room, a little girls room. Nothing was in disarray,
everything in it's place.

"This is the space of Princess Kiersten," Skate said walking in the room.
Cindy followed.

It was like something out of the movies. Porceline dolls and a teddy bear
lay neatly on the fluffy pink sheets. The pink furniture matched the
sheets. There was a little white table with a tea set. A doll sat at one of
the tiny chairs to the table. There was a doll house with a barbie doll
size family that matched her own. It was nothing like the bike shop/living
space Skate had created below the family, in the basement.

"They've fixed the place up," Skate said. "I kind of hoped they respected
me enough not to touch it."

Cindy's eyes floated over the room again and back to Kiersten. "What do you
have against this room? Kill the pink ensemble, it isn't really you, and
make it yours."

"This is where I made love to him the first time," she told Cindy. Skate
sat on the bed and picked up a teddy bear. She hugged it tight. "This is
where I got caught making love to him."

"Him being Elijah?"

"Who Else?" Skate asked.

She felt stupid for asking. Of course "him" was "Elijah".

"I met him in a bike shop. The bus from school broke down outside of it. He
came out the store, kind of dirty. Maybe that's why he facinated me. Some
girl made some dumb comment, I looked at him and couldn't stop. By the time
the replacement bus came, I was facinated by him. As we pulled off, I saw
him with his friends. I didn't have friends then. They seemed so free, I
envied them." Skate sighed. "Perhaps I was just the stereotypical rich
white girl looking for a trip on the wild side."

"I don't think so," Cindy said.

"You ever feel trapped?" Skate asked.

"All the time," Cindy replied.

"I mean trapped in the cycle of the everyday. Like week after week it's the
same old thing and you can't escape it. Like you're living a false life and
you can't get out of it."

Cindy slid on the bed beside her. "I guess that's what the days before
Diamond were like. It was like the momment Cindy realized Diamond's words
were true, I had the keys to Cindy's real life."

"Kinda the same thing here," Skate said as she laid back on the bed. Cindy
laid beside her. There heads close together. "I know it proably wasn't half
as hard as comin' out like you did."

"We all got our own struggles," Cindy said.

Skate turned toward her and smiled. "You want to hear all this."

"Yeah, go on."

"I had to see him again after that. So I went back down there on my bike.
It was pink too, I painted it black later just to spite my parents. Anyway,
we met. One thing led to another, one moment led to the next. Days turned
into months. We became girlfriend and boyfriend. My parents hated him,
fought against us. Nothing stopped me, I snuck out to see him. Invited him
to dinner to force my parents to accept him. They kept trying to make me
there little baby princess again. I couldn't be that anymore."

"Because you were free."

"Yeah," Skate said. "Blaze taught me how to put bikes together from old
parts. He was always doing it for the neighborhood kids, not many parents
could afford bikes for playing. We came up with the idea for the junkyard
together. That's when I stopped being home a lot more. I had friends Cindy,
for the first time in my life. I had a new name, I had a new life. When I
told my parents I loved him, that was it. They all but locked me in this
room, made sure I came home after school by using Davis, kept me home any
way they could. I wrote Blaze everyday. I guess maybe it was revenge when I
bought him to my house, to this room, and made love to him. Christopher
snitched on me, they caught me in the act I guess you could say. And that
was the last time I was in this room, because that was moment my parents
let me go. I'm not princess Kiersten, I can't sleep in her room." She
pointed the the east wall which had several shelves. "That's the ice
princess."

Cindy looked at the trophies and pictures on the shelves. She slid out of
the bed to take a closer look at the girl in ice skates. Adorable, but a
light was missing in her green eyes.

"She's a cute little thing," Cindy said.

Skate stood up behind her. "Then why don't you want to make love to her?"

"You've been told," Cindy said to her. "Cindy's just scared...of you."

"Don't be," Skate said leaning in and kissing her.

Cindy was unresponsive.

"Is that all you think about," Cindy said. "Can't we have a momment without
adding that to it?" Cindy walked to the the other side of the room, turning
her back to Skate.

"Yes, I do think about being close to you a lot. Why aren't you?" Skate
fell back on the bed.

'Tell her Diamond will be back,' Cindy heard in her head. It was the voice
of Diamond. She had said it months ago as they looked at each other through
the glass divider. She was still holding onto Diamond somewhere in her
heart. That wasn't fair to Skate, it wasn't fair at all.

Cindy walked up to the bed and took off her shirt. She'd decided to dive in
and stop running scared. She looked down at Skate who's eyes had widened
upon seein her girlfriend bra clad in front of her.

"Sometimes the best thing to do is jump in and get it over with," Cindy
said.

"Don't make it sound like a chore," Skate said standing in front of her
again.

Cindy initiated the kiss this time. She slowly began to unbutton Skate's
top.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Skate asked between kisses.

"Are you afriad now?" Cindy asked her.

They smiled at each other and shared a deep kiss. She finally finished the
path of buttons and removed the other girl's shirt. She traced a path of
butterfly kisses down her chest, over her bra clad breast, down to her
belly button. Cindy lossened the other girls pants. She knew if she stopped
herself it would be over.

But like some bad joke, the door chose to open at that momment. It was like
some horrible practical joke. They were standing there. And Cindy was on
her knees in front of thier half naked daughter who's lose pants nearly
slid off on thier own.


For a momment after the door opened the world was in slow motion, or frozen
in time. Skate's shocked father stood with Davis and Christopher who's nose
was bandaged. Skate's brother smiled maliciously. Then the yell came.

"What the hell is going on?" her father said.

Cindy scrambled for her top. Skate didn't even bother. She just fasened her
pants and got into a screaming match with her angry father. cindy barely
caught what they said as she escaped throught the door. One thing she did
catch was: "How long has this been going on" and "Do you mean how long has
Cindy been my girlfriend. Or how long your little princess has been fucking
girls." She didn't even want to know where the argument went after that.

Skate was angry, her father was angry, and Cindy had no idea what would be
brought to her door tommorow.




Cindy thought about telling her mom what had gone on when she got home.
Thought about it and forgot about it. Her mother may have excepted her, but
she doubted she wanted to hear what her daughter had almost done. Cindy
crawled into her bed and thought about what she had almost done. She had
almost went all the way with a girl and she was okay with that.

But she wasn't okay with Skate's parents not hearing her side of things,
with not knowing what Skate was going through.

*************

She didn't know when she fell asleep, but when she woke up the sun was
beaming through the window hurting her eyes. She managed to roll out of bed
wondering if she should try and contact Skate. She rolled out of bed and
stubbled into the kitchen.

And there she was. Skate was sitting at the table reciving morning mush
from Cindy's mother. Skate saw her and stood up. They smiled at each other
and Cindy ran and threw her arms around her.

"I thought your dad killed you," Cindy said.

Cindy suddenly noticed the stern stare from her mother. She and Skate broke
contact.

"What are you doing?" her mother asked.

"Hugging Skate," Cindy replied.

"I mean last night. You know better than to be in some girl's room."

Cindy looked at Skate. Skate shrugged.

"I got kicked out," Skate said.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Cindy asked.

"Yeah, I'm staying with Blaze."

There was no mistaking the upset look that crossed Cindy's face.

"Eat now, talk later," Cindy's mother said as the two girls sat down
together.

She was glad her mom wasn't freaking out. She supposed most of it was
compensation for the fact dear old dad had given her the cold shoulder.
Cindy's mother was doing her best to treat the situation with a civil
solution. Skate's parents proably hadn't done the same. It still bothered
her that she and Skate had never really given them a chance to. They never
came to Skate's parents and told them what was going on.

It was just the way Skate opperated though. She never bother to explain any
of her relationships to them. They assumbed guys that were just friends
were more. Never batted an eye at Camille, her first girlfriend. Or Janice,
whom she says she 'fooled around with once'. Her parents didn't know her,
but she had given up on them. Cindy had tried and at the very least, the
reward had been her mother.


They made there way into the living room after breakfast. One thing
remained that bothered her, the fact that Skate was living with Blaze.
Skate also said she'd left school. She understood why Skate needed a job
more than school now, but she didn't like it in the least.

"I understand your in a tight spot right now, but why Blaze?" Cindy asked
Skate.

"I trust Blaze," Skate replied.

"He's your ex-boyfriend," Cindy argued.

"And he's my current friend," Skate told her. "Please don't trip. You can
be so immature sometimes."

"What?" Cindy yelled. It was the first time she'd ever felt insulted by
Skate. "I'm imature?"

"I said you ACT immature sometimes," Skate said.

"Please tell me me what's immature about not wanting my girlfriend and her
ex-lover living together."

"I got to live somewhere."

"And Blaze is your only friend in the whole world?"

"I got kicked out for you, isn't that enough for you to believe I'm not
with Blaze like that?"

"Skate, I know you. You wanted out. Don't pretend it's about me."

"Maybe I did," Skate said. "Maybe I'll catch you later."

Skate stuck her hands in her pocket and left Cindy's house. Frustrated,
Cindy threw herself on the couch. Her mother came in the room.

"You want to talk?" her mother asked.

"No," Cindy said. "I can deal with it."

"Okay," her mother said. "I don't care where Skate's living. You know you
were wrong right."

"Right," Cindy said.

Then her mother left her alone.


Cindy grabbed her bike later on and went by the junkyard. Blaze worked in a
bike shop nearby. She went there to get some touchup paint. Her bike had a
few scratches. She went to the front counter and was surprised to find a
familiar pair of green eyes. then again, where else would she work?

"Skate," Cindy said. "You work here?"
It was such a dumb question.

"Yeah," Skate said.

"Found that tool you needed," Blaze said coming out. He saw Cindy standing
there. "What's up?"

"Nothin' much," Cindy said. "Thanks for hookin' her up."

"I'd never leave my girl hangin'," Blaze replied. Then he made his exit.

Cindy rolled her eyes.

Cindy and Skate started to speak at the same time, then stopped.

"We fucked up our little lives," Skat began. "Didn't we?"

Cindy shrugged. "Cindy will admit this. Maybe sometimes she is a little
immature." She sighed. "You got to know though, I've never had a
relationship before. Diamond came, Diamond went."

"I haven't exactly been Miss Maturity myself," Skate said. "I wanted my
parents to throw me out, I wanted to be able to blame them. But ain't no
point in assigning Blame. I haven't really found Skate, Kiersten, whatever.
I think we need some time apart."

"We're breaking up?" Cindy said, a slight panick in her voice.

"I still want to be friends," Skate said putting out her hand.

Cindy nodded and they shook hands. Somehow, cindy held in the tears as she
walked out the bike shop. She couldn't belive it was over, just like that.
But that was how Skate made decisions. She took a long bus ride to the bus
station and she cried.

By the time she made her way back home she was just ready to crawl under
the sheets for the remainder of the day. But as she rode up to the house,
she saw that someone was sitting on her steps, Skate? As she got closer,
she saw that it couldn't be Skate.IT was...

Her bike dropped beneath her as she walked up to her. Her movements were
almost Zombie like, but her insides were on fire. It was Diamond, Diamond
was here, in the flesh. Diamond stepped up to her and touched her cheek.

"I'm out boo," she said and Cindy looked up into her eyes. "I know you with
that other girl, but Diamond had to see you. I know I got to--"

"Shut up," Cindy said.

She pulled Diamond close. They kissed long and hard. She felt like she was
connected to Diamond somewhere deep inside. It didn't matter that she had
been gone, only that she was here now.

"My girl then got a little tiger in her, huh."

Cindy smile, but didn't answer.

"So I guessed you missed me then."

"I love you Diamond," Cindy said. "I always have."

"Mee too, baby girl," Diamond said. "I'm headin' back to the crib where I'm
crashin'. Want to come?"

"Yeah," Cindy answered quickly.

They took hands and walked away together. It was the first of many times
that Cindy would find herself right back where she began -- with Diamond.


THE END