Losing Consequences

He hated that fusion dance. It was silly, stupid, and nerve wracking.

But most of all, it scared him.

Yes, he, Vegeta, was scared of a little dance. That fusion dance scared him to no end. It may seem silly to anyone else, but it was never pride that forced him to protest.

He didn’t want to lose himself. When he performed the fusion dance with Kakarotto, he was no longer Vegeta. No, instead he would become half of a whole, only part of the person known as Gogeta.

Everything he had worked for – all that he had accomplished and fought for. It was nothing more than dust in the wind. And yet, it never seemed to trouble Kakarotto.

But then again – Vegeta mused – the only things that seemed to trouble Kakarotto were his mate or needles. He chuckled; Fate would have been cruel indeed if the low class saiya-jin would have taken a human nurse as his mate.

Now what was he thinking about again? Ah, yes. That damn fusion dance. It was always a horrible experience that he would never – willingly – repeat.

He was always a private man by nature – neither his mate, brats, nor fellow saiya-jin knew the whole truth about his life. But the fusion changed all that.

The fusion let Kakarotto see every one of his little secrets; it let him walk down the corridor of time and seen glimpses of what Vegeta had done.

And he was ashamed. It had only started a few years ago – this feeling of guilt – but now Vegeta was ashamed about his past. He had been raised as nothing more than a shameless murderer.

Kakarotto had been different. The chikyuu saiya-jin had nothing to feel guilty about; all Vegeta had seen were the triumphs and happy memories of his naïve companion. And in a way, he was envious of Kakarotto.

Not that he would ever admit that – of course. He still had his pride after all. He still had his role to play, and he still had to go on living as the gruff, semi-cold blooded saiya-jin that always showed how pride could twist the true natures of people.

But how could you hide your true self from someone who could take a glimpse of your soul? That damn Fusion Dance.

It scared him.

Author’s Notes – I do not know where I had gotten this idea. It just popped in on a night where I was suffering from lack of sleep and demanded to be written.

I had always wondered exactly why Vegeta hated the fusion dance. I had always thought that it was just because of Vegeta’s pride.

But then I got to thinking what performing a fusion was really like. We all know that Gogeta is neither Goku nor Vegeta, but a blending of the two. And maybe – just maybe – the two saiya-jins had to blend themselves to make the fusion work. And that’s when the idea popped in my head.

What if it wasn’t pride that had Vegeta detesting the dance so much? What if it was something else entirely?

Just a little notion that popped up in my messed up mind. ;)

~Shinnite