November 17, 2003

Worth Living For

	What would you identify as 'worth dying for'?  I think everyone has that 
category set up in his or her mind.  Even junkies would die for just one more 
fix.  "I would die for you/it."  It's the ultimate expression of love and 
devotion.

	I was listening to one of my favorite songs by Rebecca St. James.  There's 
one line in it that always catches my attention.  It goes: until you find 
something worth dying for, you're not really living.  It took me quite awhile to 
figure out why I couldn't stop obsessing over that one line.  Since my 
manifestoes come out of my brain's habit of going round and round a thought 
until I get sick of holding it in my head, I decided to jot the line down and 
see where it takes me.

So...  What qualifies as worth dying for?  It's a deeply personal question I 
realize, but let me offer a few generic examples that get to the heart of the 
matter.

	How about your spouse/significant other?  You know, the one you abuse 
mentally, emotionally, sexually, or verbally for whatever reason?  Maybe money 
is the answer.  You know, the stuff you either can't keep track of because you 
spend it so fast or hoard so jealously that you refuse to help out those around 
you when they're in need.  Maybe you've decided that martyrdom in the name of 
God is a good enough reason.  The God you grudgingly park yourself in a pew for 
x number of minutes every week when more... corporeal matter don't happen to get 
in your way.  Or how about your kids?  The ones you barely ever see or know 
anymore 'cause you're so busy 'providing' for them.

	I think the reason that line has been on my mind so much lately is because 
it's just not true.  Millions of people have either consciously or unconsciously 
identified something worth dying for.  Of that number, I feel very comfortable 
saying that the vast majority are not really living at all.  Let it be known 
that I'm citing the difference between living and simply existing here.  It 
pisses me off that so many are so anxious to throw away their lives who have 
hardly even bothered to use them.  I guess it's the old romantic notion cropping 
up again - the idea that you prize that thing or person more than your own life.

	But it's a crock.

	The practical side of this is that once your life is over, it's over and 
the person and/or thing that was so worth it now exposed and vulnerable to 
whatever is out there.  It's so easy to die and get it over with.  But what 
happens to those you leave behind?

	Now here's the same question I started with, but with a twist: what would 
you identify as 'worth _living_ for'?  A little trickier to pin down, right?  
Anyone can die for anything.  In fact, hundreds of people die for absolutely 
nothing every single day (yes, I'm sure 'hundreds' is a gross understatement, 
but I feel like being conservative right now).  But to live for it - to work at 
it, sweat and bleed for it, to cry and breathe for it...  I much prefer that 
concept to the first, mostly because it's so much harder to live up to.  

Then again, maybe that's the point.

Senie [CreatorAtWork@yahoo.com]