PSDF Transmission ----------------- Time: Era Of War, Age of Initialization. Name: Exodus 2 Author: Senie ----------------- *DISCLAIMER* Remember all that stuff I wrote at the beginning of Exodus 1? You know, all that stuff about it being chock full of abrupt language and um. mature - yeah, that's the word I'll use - mature scenes? Yeah, well that was intended for this fic. I didn't expect it to take this long to finish what I started. So anyway, buyer beware. Bad, violent, intense scenes, not meant for those with delicate sensibilities, blah, blah, blah, yakkity-shmackity. Hope you all are satisfied with it. Oh, and if anyone has any criticism or are offended/disgusted with this fic, please don't hesitate to call me at 1-800-U-KISS-MY extention A-S-S. Or, feel free to post a message for me on my website: www.kissmyFUCKINGass.com (I've been working on developing a backbone that past, few months. How'm I doing). I've said it before and I'll say it again: this is war, not a picnic in the park. ************************************************************************ "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Kahlil Gibran "What do you mean 'she's alive'," Lylea roared. "I mean she ain't dead, cat," Gregor sneered. The PDFP member happened to share his boss' hatred of the Lunarians, and after all he'd been through, he wasn't interested in addressing one. He turned back to Fiss. "They're holding her for questioning. As far as we know, she hasn't given up anything yet." "How do you know," Rich chimed in, all ears. "Cuz she ain't dead yet," he snapped, wanting nothing more than a hot shower and some sleep. "We intercepted a transmission from their people saying that they can't get her to do anything but purr." Irene stepped in, a little more willing to talk with the group. "As far as we can tell, they're planning something big to break her out of her trance. If it doesn't work, she's dead." Malcolm's worried frown deepened as he rubbed his flippers together nervously. "We couldn't get that. Just getting this much almost got us both dead," she shrugged. "Whatever it is, they're keeping it close to chest AND," she paused for effect, "word has it that Lord Death himself had to authorize it." "How long do you think she has?" Fiss spoke up for the first time since the Dragons had entered the room. Gregor stopped glowering for a moment, thinking the question over. "Well, some jackass beat her half to death tryin' to make her talk, then got himself offed, so they can't try this... whatever it is for at least a day or two, until they can patch her up some." He trailed off, surprised at the almost palpable dark mood that descended over all the Mothras present. "And?!?" He jumped slightly, pulling out of his daze. "We don't know. Depends on how long it'll take them to organize. I'd give it less than a week until they figure out she's useless and-" Lylea's fist would have connected with Gregor's face at that point had Jacque and Theresa not seen it coming and grabbed him. "What the fuck," Gregor gasped, more in surprise than in anger. This corp was a little too 'family' for his tastes. The real reason for his joining the PDFP was the lack of responsibility for others, something he'd never shared with anyone. After the Monkeys wiped out his wife and two daughters, he'd been devastated. He'd never really stopped blaming himself for their deaths. Sure those filthy animals had pulled the trigger, but if he hadn't been drinking that night... If he had just asked for directions... If he'd not been arguing with his precious Sylvia so loudly... If he hadn't mouthed off at that 'guard'... He quickly suppressed the images that threatened to overwhelm him, but not before that same old thought surfaced from the depths of his mind: I was supposed to protect them. When he enlisted, he'd wanted nothing more than to fight the Monkey bastards who'd stolen his life from him- and to never be responsible for another person again. And although that was impossible in the PSDF, he'd come pretty damn close with this assignment. Looking over the fifteen or so members of the GMW randomly gathered around the room, he felt the same love and companionship he'd once shared with his family. And hated it. "Keep that fuckin' animal away from me," he shouted over Lylea's angry shouts and the grunts of the others trying to keep the Lunarian from carrying out his threats. "You're dismissed,' Fiss told him a little too crisply. The C.O.'s dismissal easily echoed Lylea's anger and Gregor quickly made himself scarce. Irene, however, dared to linger. "I'm sorry about your friend," she said, edging closer to the door with every word. At Fiss' nod she all but bolted through the doors and into freedom. Nancy watched the woman go before following her. "Can you give a location on the base," the recruit queried, already having decided what needed to be done. Over the last few months since she'd met the woman, she found herself liking and admiring her more as the fight wore on. She seemed warm and caring and a good friend. But, even beyond that, she was NOT about to let the wing commander die in the hands of the Monkeys. Too much of that was happening already. One life saved saves all, she sighed, silently remembering her grandmother's old personal proverb. Irene looked around nervously, already sensing the plan forming in the woman's eyes. "Um... Look, maybe you should talk that over with your C.O." "Where's the base, Irene," a voice asked from behind her. She spun around to see Alex standing behind her, suddenly feeling hunted. The rest of Double MD had somehow materialized around the woman during Nancy's distraction. Judging from the determined looks on their faces, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be getting out of this anytime soon. "Will you people look at yourselves," she shouted angrily. "You're like a pack of vultures!! Didn't you hear a word we said in there?!? The girl is as good as dead. It's too late!!" "If you truly believe that, then you've already lost the war for us." The woman stopped at that, swallowing hard as two or three people moved aside to allow Daemon through. She looked him over, alarms blaring in her brain. The man was enormous... And he did NOT look happy. "Do you believe it?" The man glared. She swallowed hard, a little less confident under the pressure of nine angry stares. "I... I normally wouldn't," she fumbled, choosing her words carefully. "But in this case... yes, I do. I mean... considering her status. And the odds," she trailed off, looking for someone to back her up. Deciding to murder Gregor the next time she saw him, she pressed on. "Come ON," she cried desperately. "The kid's a fuckin' zombie as it is!! She can't even speak! Even if you DID manage to get her back, she'd most likely be a vegetable for the rest of her life. Not to mention what those stupid filthy fuckers might plant on her or brainwash her to do while they have her. She might come back and kill us all!! I'm telling you, the girl is a wash. All of you need to walk away." Silence descended in the hall, and that was somehow worse than the shouting match she'd anticipated. "Tell these people what they want to know," Daemon said quietly. His voice, through barely above a whisper, carried the venom of a man who was not to be trifled with. "S-she," Irene Bailey stuttered, finding herself the closest to tears she'd been in years. "She's being held at Riker's Point. It's a secret base on the far side of the island, a five-building complex. She's in the one closest to the ocean. The building itself is small but heavily guarded, even more so now because of the prisoner." Alex nodded and left the crowd. The others quickly followed suit. They had a mission to plan and no more time to waste on the Dragon. Finally, only the two non-members of the GMW remained. "They'll never be able to pull this off," Irene muttered. Daemon just barely stayed the urge to slap the woman. "You'd better get your priorities straight. We're in the business of saving lives around here. As many as we can before the Monkeys can take away our Goddamn humanity. Seems they've still got your mind." She had no response to that and just continued to stare at him, slack- Jawed until he turned and walked away. Irene walked off in the opposite direction, lost in thought. At first it had seemed right to discourage them from their plan, but now she wasn't so sure. Maybe she SHOULD have helped them out or something. "Or maybe I've been hangin' around Gregor a little too long," she grumbled. No one in the hall noticed a pair of teary, steel blue eyes watching the scene. Starr emerged from the shadows, her mind a whirl of activity. The determined, almost angry look on her face was enough to warn off passersby. She would have to plan this just right, but one way or another, she was going with Double MD whether they liked it or not. "So... what day are you shooting for?" The group crowded into Alex's room whirled on the newcomer. "FISS!" Lisa and Rich took a quick step closer to each other, effectively covering the maps spread over the desk. "Hey, Fiss. How the hell are ya!" Fiss regarded the group with a raised eyebrow. "Curious. When are you leaving?" "Leave? We have a training run tonight," Dana asked, the picture of innocence. "Not all of you will be able to go," Fiss continued, ignoring the 18 year-old. "I can't afford to lose an entire squad over one person." "Alright, then Lylea, Alex, and I should go," Rich said, dropping the charade. "Wait a minute! Why only guys," Theresa piped up in annoyance. "This is torture, not a picnic in the park-" "Which is exactly why you'll need at least one woman with you," Lisa shouted over him. "She's most likely being tortured by men. If her mind is gone, what makes you think she'll go with you?" "That's not the point-" "Malcolm's right! This isn't about us!! If we can't get her into the shuttle, then this whole plan is for naught," Nancy said. "Shuttle," Fiss blinked. "Yeah," Dana admitted guiltily. "We figure she'll need medical attention as soon as we grab her." Fiss nodded. "And who here has medical training?" That question stopped the group in its tracks. "Um... I think Senie was the only one..." Lisa trailed off as a single flipper was raised. "Then only Malcolm needs to go," Fiss shrugged. "The rest of you can stay here." Angry shouts greeted this announcement, but Fiss simply turned and walked out the door as the pilots began to fight among themselves. Alex, the only one to notice this, ran after him. "Wait a minute!! Commander-" "You were planning a rescue mission without my permission or approval," the High Armoured Claw accused without slowing his pace. "Yeah, but-" "And when I came to ask you about it, you lied." "But-" "So why should I let you people have anything to do with the rescue mission at all," Fiss asked, stopping to face the man at last. "Sir, she's our friend. She may be a lost cause to you people but-" "Who the fuck said she was a lost cause," Fiss glared. Alex found himself unable to meet his Commander's gaze. "We didn't think you would be willing to go after her, so we decided to do it ourselves." "And how were you planning to cover that up?" "We hadn't gotten that far yet. But most likely some of us would have stayed behind while- what do you mean 'have anything to do with the rescue mission'? Is there already one?" At that, the head of the Morthas grinned broadly. "We don't leave our Mothras behind, Alex. Do you really think I'd leave her to die by a Monkey hand?" Alex relaxed visibly at that, realizing that half of his battle was already won. "Sir, we've HAVE to be in on it. She's our leader." "What was your plan," Fiss said sternly. "We borrow a shuttle and use it to get into position. We go underwater and circle the coast to keep ourselves undetected. We pull up to land under cover of darkness, grab her-" "Where is she?" "In the building closest to the water. We'll have surprise on our side, sir. We've been hitting them from the opposite side. THAT'S where they'll be expecting any attack to come from. We create a diversion off to that side and grab her in the resulting chaos. Pick up the other team and head home." "When?" "Three days. If you don't let us help, we'll just use our plan anyway." "Now that I know the plan, I can stop you." "With all due respect, sir, you can't stop Double MD from taking back what's ours." Fiss looked the former army veteran over, knowing that he meant what he said. Then he nodded. "I'll need you guys to go in and get Senie once we get there. The attack is in three days at 2000 hours, the mecha and bikers'll be in position by then." "For what," Alex blinked. "They're sick of fuckin' around with Venezula. We're going in full force over the next three days. Within 72 hours we'll have the country completely. But once they found out that one of our own was there, we decided to use that plan as a diversion to get her back. You just told me what I was coming to assign to Double MD, Alex." The look of shock on the pilot's face was more than enough to make up for them stealing his idea. He nodded and left Alex to his own thoughts. Alex walked back to his room in a daze. He'd badly underestimated this organization. From his previous experience in the military, he'd learned that commanders always weigh the gain against the potential loss with any mission. He'd weighed them himself: the possible loss of a member of the squad against the gain of... what? One girl with a head full of mush possibly? A dead mark? He'd known that only a fool would take such a mission. But, he'd decided when Malcolm had risked his own life to pull him out of the charred wreckage of his F-15, that he would be the fool if that was what it took to save the world. Over the last two years these people had sheltered him, trained him, and trusted him, a former pilot in the United States Air Force, with their lives. And still he hadn't had enough faith in them to believe that they would risk everything for the sake of a single life. "But isn't that what we're fighting for," Alex mumbled as he crossed the threshold of his room. "Huh?" He looked up in into the faces of the other seven members of Double MD that had been awaiting his return. "We're fighting to save a life. Just one life. And after we've saved that life, we'll go after another. That's what we're here to do, THAT'S our job. Today that life is Senie's. Tomorrow it might be your grandmother's, Lisa, or your father's, Dana, or your old gym teacher's, Theresa, or maybe all three single lives that need to be saved. I forgot that. I let myself believe the old Monkey logic: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. We're fighting to prove them wrong. We're fighting to show them that-" He broke off at that, choked up with pride for the cause he'd joined, for the people he worked with. He'd learned his lesson. Never again would he allow logic to interfere with his newly returned humanity. Nor would he allow the others to do the same if he could help it. He felt a flipper against his thigh and looked down to see Malcolm standing beside him, nodding in understanding. Nancy stepped forward as well, looking the man over with concern. As if on cue, the others gathered around him, waiting patiently for him to continue. He smiled, thanking whatever controlled his life here on Earth, maybe even Senie's God, for the second chance he'd been given. Then he nodded, absently wiping a tear from his eye. "It's a go. And we've got back up." The crowd cheered and probably would have carried him around on their shoulders if the room hadn't been so small. Instead, they all headed down to the ENSS barracks to discuss the plan, eight pilots confident that they'd be reunited with their leader soon. 18 HOURS LATER A light shone through her closed eyelids, shooting pain through the back of her head. She groaned and stirred. "Welcome back, Senie." The woman looked at the man blankly, her attempts to rub her temples being thwarted somehow. "How are you feelin, Senie? You were in pretty bad shape the last time I saw you; none of these Monkeys thought you'd make it," Shainesh continued. He leaned forward as if to share a confidence with a close friend. "But they don't know you like I do. Do they, Asenia?" Senie looked up questioningly. That name. It sounded so familiar. Where had she heard it before? The memory wouldn't come to her. She shook her head, trying to see through the pain to the other side of her memories, but the fog wouldn't lift. And after a while, she forgot what she'd been trying to do. The lieutenant watched this struggle, feeling a wave of pity for the girl. If only she'd been broken properly, she may not be here right now. He forced himself to focus on the task at hand. Everything was ready, all that was left was to alert the girl. He sighed, realizing that he would have to do this cautiously, otherwise she might snap before he could use her. He was, however, encouraged by her reaction to her name. That meant that somewhere in that rapidly degenerating brain of hers was the girl he needed to carry out his plan. He circled her, the last remnants of the old Shainesh, the man who'd been capable of love and friendship, begging him to let the girl go. To abandon this crazy idea before he lost his humanity completely. But even then, watching the prisoner shudder and twitch uncontrollably under his gaze, he wondered if it was already too late. When had he crossed the line? Was it when he'd gone and begged the Monkeys to let him join them after the ball of grief that had settled into his gut had finally turned into hatred? Or was it when he'd killed his first human target, a twelve-year-old boy who'd gotten in his way during a raid? He'd done so much, he's come so far, and now, he was about to reach his goal. He was so close, so freakin close. If he just stayed strong, he'd have his Starr once more. He stopped walking, a disturbing thought crossing his mind for the first time. Would Starr accept him after she found out what he'd done? Could she accept him? After all, she'd always been a defender of the True, the Good, and the Beautiful. He shook his head. Of course she would accept him! She'd welcome him with open arms!! And if she WAS upset... Well that was understandable. After all, he'd done some pretty horrible things to prove his loyalty. Inhuman things, he reflected dreamily, remembering one of his proudest moments as Lord Death taking him into his house as a lieutenant a year ago, instead of demoting him as was standard practice among the high-ranking Monkey generals. Of course, he'd had to make a scientist in the research department regret betraying the MWG to do it. He could still hear the man's screams as he slowly removed the man's flesh with a machete. He'd never understood how anyone could continue to live after being skinned, and to this day he still regretted having to put a bullet in his head. He would have much rather have left him alive to see how long it took him to die naturally. He shook his head, storing the memory once more. Right now he had a job to do: there would be plenty of time to reminisce later. Of course, I'll probably have to give up those memories once I join the rebels, he sighed. If five years with those bastards turned out this little creampuff... He regarded the prisoner dryly. No, they probably won't want my particular brand of talent. Not that it mattered. Nothing and no one mattered as long as he could be with Starr again. "Asenia?" The girl stirred. "Hey, Asenia, do you remember how we met? Remember how you and Puffin and Lyndi came to pick me up from the airport because I told Starr I was coming in the next day? Remember how surprised she was?" He kept his voice light and friendly; as long as one didn't watch his face, the illusion held. His eyes however, were dark and probing, looking for any signs of recall. The gears in Senie's head began turning with aching slowness, the cloudy image of a man emerging from... a thing with other people. He was carrying a briefcase and wearing a huge... cowboy hat? The faint smile on the girl's face told him that she remembered some of that. He nodded and pressed on, determined to take his time with her. "You remember the time we all ate in the school cafeteria and you and Starr sang the Canadian Kilted Yaksman song for me? And the table next to ours gave you two a standing ovation and asked for an encore? "...Lullebye," she purred, a tiny spark returning to her features. There had been singing back then. The woman... her... friend... singing a song... something... something techno... while everyone laughed. Her friend standing next to... her boyfriend. And they were happy, so happy... "You remember it, don't you," Shainesh said kneeling in front of the girl and forcing the excitement out of his voice. The girl was awakening; her mind was starting to make the necessary connections. If he gave her enough time, she might just be able to remember herself. Time, however, was a luxury he did not have. He'd only needed to bring her back enough so that she'd trust him, the voice from her past. If he pushed her too much, she might recall her suspicions of him. Though she'd never raised the issue, he'd felt her watching him with growing distrust. She'd never let him be alone with his Love during his visits, nor did she ever let Starr come to him. She'd walked in on the two playing a bondage-type game once and her fury had drained all the fun out of the room. With growing anger he remembered her only words to him as she dragged Starr out of the room protesting: 'Stay away from her.' "I told you, you were going to pay for that, bitch," he muttered, all thoughts of remorse suddenly gone. She'd tried to interfere with his life one too many times, and now it was payback time. He leaned forward and waited for her response. Senie blinked and grimaced, trying to force the light out of her mind and the memories in. There was a reason she was not supposed to trust this man. His excitement, his... She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it was making her scared to be around him. She fidgeted, trying to get away, her instincts guiding her actions completely. The Luietenent's eyes narrowed at that. So, she hadn't forgotten everything after all. So much the better, he thought ruthlessly. "Asenia, they have your family." The woman stopped moving, processing this new information. Family. Why was that word so important? Something very familiar about the sound of that word made her worried. "That's right, Asenia. Do you remember your family? Your four brothers and parents? Cause they certainly remember you." With that, he walked over to the door and pressed a button. The room was suddenly filled with the sounds of her loved ones. She gasped, feeling herself being forced through the fog and back into reality. These people... they're voices... she knew them. They were so familiar, but she couldn't quite remember the names and faces. Either way, she had to help them; they were in pain. She pulled against her bounds frantically, wanting to get to them before it was too late. "It's okay. It's okay. They're fine, Senie," Shainesh soothed, her desperate yowling already giving him a headache. He could see her losing her grip. He smiled triumphantly, knowing that he had her right where he wanted her. He turned off the transmitter and rushed over to her trembling form. "They're fine for now. No one is going to hurt them yet." He knelt down in front of her and patted her shoulder, hoping she couldn't see the disgust in his face as he touched her. "No," she moaned. Shainesh fell back, surprised by her word. It was the first time she'd said anything remotely human since she'd arrived. He felt like cheering, but he forced himself to focus and relax. "No what?" Her eyes clouded over as she tried to make other words form. This language was ancient in her brain. It had made the man-thing stop the Family's pain sounds though. She gritted her teeth in frustration and searched her tangled thoughts for another word to make him stop. The man began to lose patience. "No what, Asenia??" Her eyebrows were knit in concentration, but she wasn't responding. He grabbed and shook the woman. "Tell me what I want to know," he screamed into her face. Her eyes opened and widened, too scared to bring forth language. "No," she screamed the only word she knew. He backhanded her for her trouble and walked back to the wall, turning back on the radio. "So, I take it that you want them to die?" She blinked in confusion. 'No' was supposed to make the hurting sounds stop. It was supposed to make the man-thing stop. But he was making the pain start again. She listened to the hurting sounds coming from them. The words were jumbled and lost to her. She listened helplessly as the people on the radio struggled or threatened their captors. "Tell me what I want to know Senie," he stated, turning up the volume. Senie howled urgently, trying to make herself understood. This only served to make him angrier. "You think I won't do it," he grinned broadly. "You think I won't have your entire family killed??" She shouted even more frantically, her eyes pleading for understanding. "I want to know where the base is. Tell me and your family will live." He waited, but became enraged as her litany reached a fever pitch. He punched her again, this time knocking her and the chair over. "You are going to speak, just like you did before. You said a word, now you're going to say another. Speak to me," he yelled. "No, no, no," she chanted, using the only word she could. Her mind was a whirl of activity. She had to make him understand. "Asenia!" Both people turned towards the speaker in shock. "Bud," she blinked in her language. A very clear image of the middle child formed in her head. He was sitting on the front step of the house laughing. "Bud," she said a little more strongly. "Don't tell them anything," he yelled hoarsely into the transmitter, struggling against the soldiers who'd taken over the house. "Don't you say a thing to them, do you hear me???" "Kill him," Shainesh yawned in annoyance. "NOOOO," Senie screamed as a gunshot and a dull thud registered. She heard her mother screaming in the background and someone dropping to their knees. "No," she screeched again. She turned her head to face the man responsible for Bud's death, her eyes filled with rage and grief. "What are the rebel's attack plans for Venezuale," he said calmly. Senie squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed for her brother, seeing him telling jokes at the dinner table in her mind. "Please, God, don't make me choose," she cried in Lunarian. The memories were flooding back to her. Watching movies in the living room with her baby brother, Fudge, laughing and joking with him through the whole show. Dancing with Boo, her next to youngest brother as their cousin's wedding reception. Staying up to all hours of the night talking with Rog, the oldest. Her mother - braiding her hair as a child. Her father - telling her how proud he was of her at her college graduation. They were her family and they meant the world to her. But what the rebels were fighting for was a planet full of families like hers. Who was more important: the ideal, or the reality on the other end of the radio? Another thought passed through her brain. What plans? Searching her memories of the last couple of days, she only saw pain. She had no recollection of any plans, they were lost to time. But what could she say that would stop him? "Asenia?" The distressed woman looked at the transmitter once more. "They are going to kill us no matter what you say," her mother explained with a calm that made her want to weep. Don't worry about us, Babygirl." "What's it gonna be, Senie? Are you just going to sit there and listen to them die?" "Please forgive me..." Senie choked out at last, drawing herself up as best she could in the chair. "No," she said very slowly and deliberately. Their death sentences took less than a minute to carry out. Fudge was still being held by the soldiers. "Please! Please, I don't know anything," Fudge begged for his life. As one held him fast another shot him through the heart, killing him. Another soldier tried to do the same with Rog, but he was stronger than his brother and got free. He tried to grab the gun away, but a massive dose of Taint literally tore him apart as the others watched. One of the men tried to take her mother for his own, but her father ripped his throat out before he could. For his trouble, he was gunned down. Boo ran to help, but was knifed in the back. Shiela looked around her at her fallen sons and husband, enraged at the monsters that would do this. She picked up the handgun still clutched in the dead soldier's hand and fired into the crowd, killing two before they opened fire on her. Finally, the echo of her death-cry faded away and there were only the orders from those in charge of the clean-up operation. Shainesh waited until the woman had calmed down a bit before walking over and turning off the communicator for good, a serene look on his face. He surveyed the woman still lying in her chair on the floor. He would have to give her time to digest these happenings before he could force her to tell him the things she knew. "You know, it's too bad about your family," he smiled sympathetically and left the room. She couldn't even speak, she was so choked up. What had she done? How could she sacrifice her family for a cause they hadn't even known about? She sobbed anew, feeling cold and dead inside. The voice of her mother filled her mind. "...you know your life is forfeit. Act on that basis..." Her mind produced a crystal clear image of a day spent with the people she loved most in the world. She'd been eight at the time and on a picnic with her family at the park. Her mom was grilling and watching over Fudge, then just a few months old. She and her brothers were playing frisbee with their dad. She could see the frisbee flying up and over the grass, gliding as if it would never land. She'd laughed, running as fast as her little legs would carry her to catch it while it was still in the air this time. Her older brother had gotten there first, however because she'd tripped when she saw him. In her mind's eye she'd seen him holding it up so high... She'd been angry - it'd been her turn to catch the frisbee and she'd been so close this time! She'd sat up, holding her throbbing knees and glaring at him, refusing to cry. Then Bud and Boo had caught up to her. Here it comes, she groaned inwardly, steeling herself for the laughter. But instead of taunting her as they usually would, they asked her if she was alright. Then her older brother had handed her the frisbee with a grin. In disbelief she'd trudged back to the blanket, escorted by her brothers. Her mother had dinner ready by then and tended to her wounds while the others played with Fudge in his car seat. The pain hadn't seemed so bad with the frisbee clutched in her hands. But most of all, she remembered a wave of love washing over her as she'd watched them all play on the blanket; knowing that no matter what she'd love them all forever. Senie closed her eyes and wept. "You have failed!!" Lord Death rasped. "No, my lord," Shainesh cringed, never having seen his master so angry before. "She just needs time to see things our way. I will have the information by the end of the day." "I'm becoming annoyed with these... people. They are disrupting our plans and I want them eliminated. The girl is useless to us, she should be terminated." "But my lord," Shainesh jumped before he could stop himself. Lord Death regarded him with interest. "Do you feel differently, Lieutenant?" The man could have kicked himself for acting in haste. "Yes, my lord. I think that she might still be of use to us, even as a decoy to attract the other rebels." "You believe they'll come back for her?" "Yes, my lord." The Monkeys face split open in a leering grin. "Are you sure you do not want her for yourself?" Shainesh had to swallow back bile at that, but somehow managed to stay calm. "She is... A strong woman, sire. She may be useful to us as an agent." "She will be punished for her disobedience then," the Overlord decided, rather liking the idea of having an advantage over his lieutenent for a change. "She believes in her god, and did he not rise from the dead after three days? She can suffer the same fate then. Daom will punish her for me over the next three days. If she lives through it, you may have her. As a gift, let us say," he added with a smirk. Shainesh shuddered inside, but pressed on. "My lord, I can carry out her punishment." He knew that if Doam punished her, she would die before he could use her. Death smiled slyly. "Very well, young one. However, Doam will supervise you to make sure that the woman is indeed punished." With that, the Monkey signed off. Shainesh turned to see Doam leering at him from the doorway. "If you do not punish her properly, I will," he promised before turning to go. The human growled and punched the wall. Did they really believe that he could feel anything but contempt for that filthy nigger bitch? Did they truly believe he didn't plan to slit her throat the _minute_ he had no more use for her?? With a deep breath, he sat slowly in his chair, mulling over this turn of events. It was true, Doam would take over her punishment if he felt the girl was not suffering enough. But he would have no qualms about making her suffer. The problem came with deciding how to make her suffer without killing her in the process. After all, a dead bitch couldn't lead him to his fiancee. His mind a whirl of activity, he headed back to the holding cell. "Six hours should be long enough..." He grimaced as he crossed the threshold. That smell, the smell of pain and anguish mingled with death, would always revolt him, no matter how many times he smelled it. It was a stale smell, one that never ceased to make him want to retch. He shrugged off this impulse, feeling Doam's eyes on his back. It was time to see if the girl was willing to talk now. If his ruse worked, it wouldn't matter if she lived or not. He could wash his hands of her completely and go in search of his soul-mate. "Asenia." The woman stirred from her place on the floor. She lifted her head, but, recognizing the voice, let it thud dully on the floor once more. "Asenia, I'm here to give you one last chance to make things right. Don't let your family have died in vain." Her eyes filled with tears and she moaned, but she didn't bother to speak. It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered anymore. Her family was dead and there was nothing the man-thing could do that would hurt more than that did. Shainesh leaned down and stared at the woman, rapidly losing his patience. Maybe waiting so long to question her had been a mistake after all. Shit. He'd have to do this the old-fashioned way after all. "What are the rebels planning for Venezuela, Senie?" She spat out her litany for lack of anything else to say, glaring at the one responsible for her grief. He recognized the pattern almost immediately and slapped her, cutting off the sound by effectively shutting her mouth. He heaved the chair to an upright position, then hit her again. "You're bringing this on yourself, Senie, you know that? If you'd just told us what we wanted to know in the first place, your family would be alive right now." The woman moaned as if struck, bringing a smile to his face. "That's right Senie. _You_ killed your family, not me. They would have lived and you wouldn't be here right now if you'd just told me what I wanted to know." "No," she cried. That wasn't true!! That wasn't the way it happened! She hadn't wanted them to die. She'd never wanted them to die. They'd died because... Because... "You killed them," she hissed accusingly. He wouldn't twist this around on her. If she was going to die, she was going to die being clear on this one fact. "Feeling a little guilty, Senie," he smiled tauntingly. "You are one ungrateful bitch, you know that? Those people were never a part of this. They never did a thing to you and you had them executed. You had them killed in cold blood. What did they do to deserve that, Asenia?" She shook her head violently, trying to block out the man's voice. That couldn't be right! That... The sound of her baby brother begging to live floated through her head and she suddenly wasn't so sure. "Why don't you tell me what I need to know? Then no one else will have to die for your mistake. Come on, Senie. Do you want someone else to die?" She was shaking now, too consumed with guilt to answer. She'd killed them all, just as surely as if she'd pulled the trigger herself. How could she have been so selfish? To kill them... NO, her exhausted brain shouted back. You did not kill them! You did NOT kill your family. He did. He's just changing things to make you hurt more. Her dirty and smudged face snapped up, her eyes focusing on this demon hurting her for the first time. "No," she insisted, her mother's final words banging and clanging through her mind. "FUUUUUCK," the man screamed into the filthy room. He'd underestimated her will. He'd get nothing out of this woman. It didn't matter if she was protesting his attempt to lay the blame on her for her family's demise or if she was refusing to give him the information he craved. It was time to move on to step two. If she wouldn't talk after an ordeal like that, then he might as well get on with her punishment. His smile darkened. So much the better. "In time you will regret ever saying that to me, Asenia. I'm going to have to hurt you now." Senie whimpered and stammered her words: . The man's calm was unnerving her terribly, but she wouldn't disgrace her family by helping their killer, no matter what happened. Meanwhile Lieutenant Patel had turned away from her in favor of the more pleasant sight of Daom's 'tools'. She was probably useless to him in all rights, but he would be damned if he didn't at least try to find out what he needed to know. For Starr's sake. He held up a metal rod, turning it over in his hands. It was square-shaped along the sides and only a foot and a half long, completely straight but dented in places from its many years of service. An idea was forming along the edges of the man's mind, an idea that was making Daom tremble a little, as if he could sense the murderous thoughts surrounding the human. Shainesh lifted his cold brown eyes to the Monkey, a cruel smile forming on the corners his mouth. "How fast do you think this thing heats up?" "I have never ussssed it hot," Daom admitted. Grinning broadly at the possibilities. "What are you planning, human?" "An experiment," the man responded absently, looking over the metal chains on the table thoughtfully. Daom blinked at that, being well versed in Patel's 'experiments'. The lieutenant was proving to be as good as his record. But then again, the Monkey leered, with a lineage such as his, he should have expected no less. Cruelty was in his blood, and the girl was about to find out all about it. He grinned at that, his wrinkled skin stretched tight over the lower half of his mouth. This would be fun after all. "I'm going to need this table, Daom. Is that okay with you?" He handed his supervisor the rod. The Monkey hooted with pleasure and relinquished the table, going off in search of a heat source. Shainesh grinned after him and turned back to the girl, chains in hand. "While we wait, how about we find out what else Daom has left for us to play with," he suggested happily, the light of his smile never reaching his eyes. "Are we ready yet," Dana bounced from her place at the cockpit. She'd been playing with the controls before, but now she was bored and ready to go. She wandered back to the cargo hold, which had been outfitted as a crude medical ward for the trip. "Come on, Malcolm! Do we REALLY need all those supplies?" She smirked at the penguin, eyeing the boxes of extra gauze and ointment suspiciously. "Um... No," the girl shrugged. Malcolm rolled his eyes and turned back to his work. She thought about pestering him a bit more - unlike the others, she knew he wouldn't run out of patience for her questions. But in the end, she figured it was time to find another victim. She sighed. Sometimes it really hurt that most of the others were more annoyed by her presence than anything most of the time. As she rounded the corner on the way out of the hangar, she ran into the last person she expected to. "FISS???" The man regarded her with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, yes I am." He almost grinned as the woman moved into what she must have considered a more flirtatious pose. "So... How are things," she asked in an overly throaty voice. "Things are fine... how are your things," he answered with a grin, not wanting to hurt her feelings. "You ready to see the war close up?" "I'm looking forward to the chance to work with you, sir," she winked. "Dana, is your shit packed yet?" Both turned to see Rich standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. "You got your blanket and teddy bear, little girl?" "Leave her alone, Rich," the High Armoured Claw stepped in smoothly, the smile never leaving his face. Rich looked the man over speculatively, wondering just what the guy's deal was. Admittedly, he didn't know much about the man in charge of the Mothras. Jacque had taken him in and trained him. He knew enough of the pilot's reputation to know that he wasn't as harmless as he seemed. "I'll talk to you some other time when your boyfriend isn't around, Danes." With a shrug and a lazy salute to the CO, he headed to the cockpit to prep for launch. Dana entire face turned an alarming shade of red at that. "Shut UP, Rich!!" She turned back to Fiss, hoping against hope that the man wouldn't take that statement seriously. Fiss seemed pretty oblivious as he leafed through some reports. He nodded to himself, letting the stack of papers fall back into place in his hand. She took a step forward, deciding that maybe she could try again now that Rich was gone. "Um, Fiss?" "Yeah," he answered absently, still going through some mental calculations. "I was wondering if... Well... I was kinda hopin' that-" "We're all loaded up, Fiss," Nancy rushed in. "We got the go ahead from Cain. They're in position. The Monkeys are retreating to the shoreline just as Nathan said they would. Roxy and Wallace are ready with their shuttles too. We can launch whenever you're ready." Fiss nodded, anxious to get started. "Eeeeeexcellent. My evil scheme has already begun," he chortled in a gravelly voice, laughing maniacally before heading to the cockpit and leaving Nancy and Dana to stare after him. "I swear to God... They will let ANYbody in this outfit," Nancy shook her head. As much as she hated to admit it, the guy- strange as he was - really did know his shit. And the fact that he was willing to come along for this mission only ranked him higher in her opinion. Just one more thing for her to ponder about this war. How many ranking officers in any army that had ever marched over Terra would be willing to risk themselves on such a dangerous and seemingly futile mission? Yet, that was the essence of the type of war the penguins were waging against those filthy Monkeyfuckers. No one person was more important than another when a life was at stake. She took off in the direction the HAC, her mind full of these thoughts. Dana's thoughts, considerably darker at Nancy's intrusion and less admirable, were interrupted when Theresa placed an understanding hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure Nancy didn't mean it." "Then why does she ALWAYS do that?" Dana growled angrily. "It's not like she doesn't know... It's not like everybody doesn't know... Except maybe him." "Don't worry about it, Dana," Theresa urged soothingly. "Just focus on the mission for now, okay?" The girl nodded and they headed to the upper level that would pass as a storage area to check the guns and the BOOM launcher Double MD was bringing along just in case. Meanwhile the trio in the cockpit began warming up the engines. Fiss' voice cackled over the PA system. "This is your pilot speaking. We are ready to go!!! Would anyone not tagging along for this little joyride please exit the ship." He waited a bit, an impossibly wide grin plastered on his face, then continued. "Remember, you have to be _this_ tall to ride this wheeler. Man the sinkholes, damn you all!! Let's LOCK AND LOAD!!" Lylea groaned as the system when off. he commented. "What'd ya say?" Lisa groaned. "Lunarian is, like, IMPOSSIBLE to speak! I swear, I'm never gonna learn it!" Alex sat back sagely in his chair. "You'll be speaking it inside a month, kiddo. Once you get the basics, it's an easy language to speak. And he said 'what does Dana see in that guy' by the way." "Oh, I can field that one," the woman smiled. "I mean besides the fact that he has 'power' so to speak, he's really different from the rest of her family. Some girls find that very attractive." Alex translated, bringing a smirk to the Lunarian's face. His answer made the older man laugh heartily. "What? What'd he say??" "He asked if you have a thing for him too." The woman glared at the cat sitting across from him. "I don't have to be in love with the guy to understand why she likes him, Lylea. As a matter of fact, I just think he's a cool guy and a lot of fun to be around." "Besides," Alex added after interpreting Lisa's words, "if Dana thought anyone was interested in Fiss, they'd never find the body." "Does he know about her feelings for him?" "If he does, it doesn't show." "Hey! I'm still here, ya know!!" The two males in the room laughed as Malcolm waddled in, strapping himself into his seat without a word. "So... What's the verdict, Malc?" "Do you think she'll make it," Lisa asked, her face a mask of calm. The shuttle accelerated out of the bay after getting final clearance, shutting everyone's mouth for a moment with the G-forces. They hit the water at startling speed, on a course that would take them straight to Riker's Point. "Why do we need Wallace and Roxy anyway," Lisa commented, ready for a subject change. Rich rolled his eyes as he strolled in. "You know, you sound as stupid as Dana? What the hell do you _think_ they're there for? In case we fuck up." The woman sighed heavily as she looked up at his towering form, being one of the few who still refused to be intimidated by his size and temper. "What I meant, stupid, is why both? I know they're for backup in case something goes wrong and the Monkeys spot us before we get Senie. But does Fiss really think things'll get THAT bad? I would think three shuttles would be easier to detect than two to Monkey sensors." "Or one for that matter," Alex agreed to himself. Malcolm sighed. The ship suddenly tipped to the side knocking Rich off his feet. As the man scrambled to an empty chair to strap in, the pilot rolled them the other way and with a spin, righted them again. The humans and penguin could hear maniacal laughter from the cockpit, but it was the clattering in the compartments above that interested them. "That's just GREAT! I thought all that shit was supposed to be secure up there??" "Will you relax, Rich??? It's probably just Theresa or Dana. I haven't seen them around in a bit." "Yeah," Rich grumbled. "Dear old Danes probably forgot to get her blankly out of her suitcase." "Freeze!" The women's hands automatically clasped above her head. The voice behind her rang with fear, but there was also a good amount of venom in it - a dangerous combination. Until she could turn around and face the girl holding her at gunpoint, it was best to play along. "Look, I'm just-" "Shut up. Step out of that mess right now." The woman's steel blue eyes flashed at being ordered around by this kid, but she complied. Getting herself shot in the back wouldn't get her to Senie. "Who are you?" The plane tilted suddenly as the pilot performed a few more of the flips and turns that had exposed the intruder in the first place. If Dana hadn't been rooting through her gear for the cookies she'd smuggled aboard instead of locking down this section as Theresa had asked her to ten minutes ago, she never would have stumbled across the stowaway. The two went sprawling, Dana's weapon knocked from her hands by a stray box. With a tuck and roll the intruder retrieved the pilot's gun, turning it on the girl, who was clutching her mouth and stomach in an effort not to be sick. She'd obviously never flown with the High Armoured Claw before. "Sit down before you throw up." Dana sank to her knees gratefully, gasping for air. The woman bent over till they were eye to eye. When she was sure she had the woman's attention, she smiled and pulled a small plastic bag out of one of the many pockets in her fatigue-colored jacket. "Looking for these?" The cackling of the PA system interrupted the girl's slight nod. "Will Starr Sheilds please report to the cockpit once her head's stopped spinning." His mad cackling finished the statement for him: she was about to get it. With a heavy, but determined sigh, the woman set off, a slightly nauseated Double MD member trailing behind her. "Great. That's just great. Did you HAVE to burp right then, Rich?" Nancy's calm tone belied the dozen or so Monkeys firing at her at the moment. The other two shuttle crews were pinned down on the shore, covering their only escape route. Rich was unusually quiet as he picked off his targets, at the same time dodging enemy fire. It had been his fault they lost their escort after all. One loud, rather juicy belch, compliments of the liter bottle of Jolt he'd chugged to keep himself awake and alert was all it had taken to give the pilots, minus one 'grounded' biker, away. Of course, it hadn't helped that a sentry just happened to be patrolling the area they'd taken temporary refuge in. Even then the low pitched, if high decibel noise may have been passed off as a drunken Monkeyboy or some other such thing by said sentry if not for the equally loud 'Ewww! That's DISGUSTING!' coming from the bush right beside him. Alex did manage to keep Dana from being blown away, but not before the filthy Monkeyfucker had raised an ear-piercing screech that alerted the entire compound to their covert operation. And now here they were, fighting their way up Riker's Point, still determined to complete their mission. "There it is," Nancy announced in the same calm tone as yet another Monkey's head disintegrated under her weapon. Dana looked up, chilled by the woman's manner. It suddenly occurred to her that she had no clue why the woman fought. Usually so energetic and alive in the pilot's seat, the close range action seemed to be bringing out her calm center. She'd never seen the woman like this; it was seriously freaking her out. "Nancy, are you-" "Look out," was all she heard before being pulled out of the path of a hunting knife. A bullet took care of its owner. "You know, you should pay attention," Fiss commented as he felled yet another enemy. "Oh Fiss, you saved my life." The man was gone before she could finish. "Get down!" Was all the warning she received before being shoved, face first, into the dirt, a volley of Taint rocketing pass where her head had been a second ago. She pushed herself up, spitting out dirt and glaring daggers at her attacker. She almost choked when Rich's turbulent gray eyes found hers in the near darkness. "What the fuck are you doing? Daydreaming?? Christ, I KNEW you were too young to be here!!" "I'm not-" "Shut up. From now on, you're with me. We're not losing anymore people cause you're too fucking stupid to move your ASS in a fight. Pick up your gun," he shouted in her face. Dana crouched down to retrieve the GUN-1 he'd just kicked at her, her smoldering hazel eyes never leaving his. "Now watch the brush and pay attention, Dana. You may hate my guts, but at least you'll be alive to do it." Without another word, he set off. Dana stood where she was a moment, seriously pondering her chances of shooting him in the back of his cocky self-righteous head without anyone knowing. A quick glance around told her the chances were slim to none. There was a thud behind her and suddenly Rich was in front of her again. He acts like he's a damn drill sergeant, her mind hissed. "Move. Your. ASS." He finished, grasping her upper arm and dragging her in the direction he'd gone before. "Stop yelling at me," she sobbed, trying to wrench her arm away. "I'm doin' the best I can!" Rich stopped, shoving her into a small clearing so he could face her. The sobbing disgusted him, but this was no time for preference. He seized her jaw and forced her to look up. "It's not good enough, Danes. If it was then someone wouldn't have to save you ass every two seconds." He was doing an exceptionally bad job at masking his fury with the overly sweet, patronizing tone he was using. "This is war and people are dying out there." As if to prove his point, the bloody remains of a woman fell across the 'entrance' of their hiding spot. After dispatching her killer, Rich hauled the corpse up, pushing her tangled, bloody brown hair out of her face. "See this? This is gonna be you if you keep it up. We're here to save Senie, not protect you. Now stay close, WAKE UP, and watch you back. And stop that crying. It's pissing me off and giving us away." The girl nodded numbly, her hazel eyes and mind full of the dead woman's face. She'd known Raina. They'd been friends and now she was dead. As her tormentor let the woman sink to the ground in deadly repose, she cocked her GUN and burst out of the clearing, killing every Monkey she came across. Rich followed behind with a satisfied grin. At least for now, she was acting like a real person. Fiss finally reached the entrance, stepping over the two corpses that had once guarded it. His instincts had him whirling around a split second before the body slammed up beside him, leaving him barely enough time to identify Starr in the murky twilight before he could blow her head off. "Hey Fiss! What's up?" "Starr, what are you doing here??" "Backing you up." She raised an eyebrow triumphantly. "The rest of your team is busy." The HAC took in the scene of death and destruction, noting that she was right. Still... "I told you to wait at the shuttle." "Yes, you did. But you need my help." "Go back, Starr." "But-" "Starr, you violated an order from your C.O. Your squad is on the other side of the compound right now. Then you came here after I gave you a direct order not to." "Aw, come on, Fiss. Take me with you. Please?" "No." "Please?" "No." "Pretty please??" "No!" "What if I beg?" Fiss chuckled to himself, deciding that he wasn't going to get rid of the woman that easily. Besides, he might end up needing her help anyway. "You do understand I could have you shot for this, right?" All of the humor instantly drained from her features. "Then you'd better shoot me now, cause that's the only way you're keeping me from helping Senie." "Starr, we can handle this." "Bullshit. She's my best friend, the only person on the whole damn base I can really get in trouble with and you KNOW you'd do the same thing in my place." "But can you handle the consequences?" "I guess we're about to find you, aren't we," she fired back. The man gave her a sidelong glance. "I can see why Senie likes you." As he went to open the door, she tapped his shoulder. "No-ga-hey," she pronounced carefully. "Huh?" She looked up at him with her patented Starr smile - three parts 'shit-eating grin', two parts 'pure joy' - plastered to her face. "It's something Senie told me once from some movie or other. It's a Navaho word, I think. Means 'today is a good day to die'." Fiss gave her a blank look, then slipped into the building. The two made their way through the base stealthily, waiting in the shadows for the groups of Monkeyboys to pass before continuing on their way. With Double MD holed up like they were, Fiss and Starr were Senie's last hope. They couldn't afford to fail. They traveled quickly and quietly, guided by the sound of someone speaking fluent Lunarian. The sound was just barely audible over all the bombing and gunfire outside, but somehow they were always able to pick it up again. A feeling of dread spread through Starr as she began to be able to make out the words. "My name is Asenia Tamika Lorraine McAllister. I am part of the organization that will stop you. I will tell you nothing." She got a sudden chill as the litany repeated itself. There was no force behind the words, no life. If she didn't know better, she would have decided long ago that it wasn't a girl at all, but a recording. She glanced over at Fiss to see if he was holding up okay, and blanched. His whole face was contorted with rage; she was pretty sure that any Monkey that dared cross his path right now would die a miserable death- Taint or no Taint. He was just barely breathing he was straining so hard to hear the captive woman. Something about his whole attitude told her that he was taking this personally. She thought about calling him on it, but he hushed her before she could say anything. And suddenly they were standing in front of the door where the prisoner was. "Are you ready," he asked gruffly. She nodded, trying her best to prepare herself for whatever may lie beyond the door. Without a word she cocked her GUN-1, pushed the door open, and took a cautious look inside, checking for guards. Once she was sure the room was clear, she took her first look at the person under the only light in the room. Starr stumbled out of the room and puked. Her whole body trembled as she turned and sat curled up on the floor. Fiss had only gotten a glimpse of the woman before Starr had shoved past him. He followed the biker, he needed to make sure she was okay before he could help Senie. "STARR," he shook the crying woman. "Fiss, d-did you see-" "Pull yourself together, Starr! She needs our help!" "But they... they... My God..." He sighed to himself. She couldn't go back in there. He'd have to do this himself. "I want you to stand watch here. If anyone come, kill them. I'm gonna get her out of there." The woman grabbed his shoulder. "Don't leave me. Please." He shrugged her off angrily. "Just cover me. For fuck's sake, I thought you'd be able to handle this, being a biker." With a withering look, he passed into the room, ignoring the rank smell of blood, puke, and piss there. The click of the GUN was a comfort; Starr was ready to deal again. Deep down, he couldn't blame her. It was one thing to ride through Monkey gore for a living, but quite another to see a friend like this. "Asenia?" The girl cringed at the mention of her name. She was shaking all over. Well, as much as her chains would allow. She was completely naked, bent over and stretched, face down, on a metal table, the only furnishing in the room. Her legs were spread and chained to each table leg, her wrists handcuffed and chained to the far end of the table. The cuffs were cutting into her wrists, probably as much from her struggling as from the fact that they were at least a size too small for her. Her exposed back was criss- crossed with bloody whip marks, only a few of which were fresh. In the few places on the pilot's body where flesh showed through the blood and dirt, her once smooth brown skin was turning a sickly yellow. He couldn't figure out why at first, then he saw the blackened end of a thick metal rod that the sadistic bastards had shoved into her anus. He leaned down to examine it. The way the metal was soddered to flesh, he could tell it had gone in red hot. He vowed to destroy the fucker that had done this. Only one of those hairy, filthy Monkeys could have down this and when he found him... Fiss looked down, noticing how much his balled up fists were shaking for the first time. He un-balled them, forcing himself to be calm. If he wasn't calm, she'd never go with ihim. "Senie." She yelped and shuddered, waiting for pain. 'Senie' meant pain. 'Asenia' meant pain, but 'senie' meant a lot of pain. She began to sob, saying the only thing she could. If she could have told them to let her die, she would have. But language was a forgotten thing to her. He looked over her bindings, trying to decide if he should risk a shot around her. Turned out that wouldn't be necessary; the chains were coiled around the woman's legs and taunt, but they weren't padlocked. He kneeled down to undo them, noting the distress in her voice as he did. They've released her before, he realized suddenly. That's why she isn't locked down. Planning murderous revenge, he continued his work as gently as he could. Finally, all that remained was her handcuffs. After considering and rejecting the notion of shooting them, he addressed the girl again. "Senie, it's time to go." The girl cringed, her teeth chattered. This was something new, and something new always meant senie. Without warning, something covered her, warm but unfamiliar. It didn't smell of this place though and it didn't hurt - she let it stay where it was. The room was being filled with a constant sound, melodic, quiet, smooth. It was a nice sound, not at all like the hurting sounds. She tried to open her eyes, but her swollen and blackened lids wouldn't budge. Then she felt herself being turned over. Oh God, not this! Please, please, please!! Anything else, everything else, but not this!!! The girl whimpered and twitched, the last of her energy reserves galvanized to action by this new threat. They had everything else - her pride, her dignity, her family - but they wouldn't take this. Not this one thing. It was hers - she'd die before they'd have that. She kicked at the thing, crying out in pain as some of her flesh tore from the metal. But the thing was faster than her and dodged the blow. She cried at that, coughing out sounds of her own between sobs while with her newly freed hands she covered herself as best she could. But, instead of the senie she'd been expecting, the warm thing covered her front and she found herself floating, the nice sounds fluttering all around her. This was new, but she didn't have the energy to fight it. The sounds made her hurt less, but she couldn't figure out why. Instead she snuggled against the source of the sounds, wincing at the movement, but desperate to stay as close as she could to it. The thing seemed to understand and held her tighter, releasing more of those soft, nice sounds into the air. Fiss looked to Starr as he crossed the threshold, nodding her towards the exit without stopping his monologue. Mostly he kept repeating 'it's gonna be alright' and 'I won't let anyone hurt you' but that didn't seem to matter to his pilot. As long as he kept talking she was still. When he'd stopped, consumed with rage for a moment after noting the craters of flesh missing from her front, she'd begun to cry and fight. He found himself encouraged by this. That she would struggle against him, even that little bit, meant that there was still something of her left. Somewhere under the confused mess of her mind, Senie was hiding out, waiting to be freed. He squeezed her briefly, careful not to hurt her back in the process. The trio made their way back through the base, this time drawn by the sounds of chaos and death outside. Starr covered the two pilots, mowing down anything that dared to cross her path. If Fiss hadn't known the source of her anger, he may have been worried for the biker. As is was, he'd never wanted to annihilate these animals more than he did right now. But he had to remain calm, for Senie's sake. Giving vent to his rage right now would only scare her and push her closer to a complete mental shutdown. He forced himself to keep his breathing slow and steady; his words even. They were only ten feet from the front door when Starr's reality was sharply interrupted. A man stepped into her path right then, the only obstacle between them and freedom. Starr took aim, her face contorted in rage. The man stood frozen to the spot - he would be an easy enough target. Then he opened his mouth and said the one thing that could have stopped her. "Starr?" Senie whined her litany, panic-stricken. This was the something new they'd been planning - they'd brought her to the man-thing. That had to be it; whenever the man-thing said starr, pain followed. Fiss had to struggle to keep a hold of the girl, she was squirming so much. Then he figured it out and felt his mind threatening to slip into 'berserker mode'. This was the bastard that had done this to her, not a Monkey but a man. Only the constant drone of Senie's terrified cries kept him under control. Once he was sure she wasn't going anywhere, he glanced over to Starr, wondering why this Monkeyfucker was still alive. The biker looked completely blank. "Who... are you," she whispered, her trigger finger frozen mid-squeeze. "Don't you know me, my love? You've always known me," he breathed, his eyes sparkling with a happiness he never thought he'd find again. She gasped, suddenly looking dangerously close to throwing up. The world stopped turning, explosions fading to a meaningless drone. She couldn't hear anything over the beating of her racing heart. Her pistol dropped from her nerveless hands and the biggest smile to ever light up Starr Sheild's face overtook her as she ran and jumped into his arms. Or at least that's probably what would have happened if Fiss hadn't pushed past her in his rush to elbow her Kiwi in the jaw. The world came crashing back into focus as Shainesh's head hit the floor with a dull, unimportant thunk. She ran to him, dropping her gun along the way. "Shainesh! Shainesh, are you alright?!" She glared up at Fiss furiously and noticed Senie's whining for the first time. Her steel-blue eyes bulged and she backed away. The girl was frantic; Starr knew that only her torturer's voice could do that to her. Senie might be temporarily blind, but her hearing told her that she was in danger. "Oh God... You didn't." Shainesh slowly stood, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth where he'd been struck. "I did it for us, Starr." "No..." "I did it so that we could be together." "No..." "They were going to kill her anyway, Starr," he pleaded. "Look at her! She's useless!!" He waved a hand toward the girl, who shrieked, sensing the impending blow from hours of 'training'. Fiss backed away, holding onto her by some miracle, but not before snapping two of the man's fingers. "Take care of him, Starr," he spat hoarsely before taking his precious cargo to the shuttle, Double MD covering him. The man grunted, but didn't cry out. He'd had worse done to him. Like right now. The look of shock and anguish on his beloved's face was causing him more pain than his broken pointer and middle fingers ever could. "Starr, please don't cry. I'm sor-" The woman punched him then, cutting off his apology. "How could you, Shainesh! How could you, she was my friend!!" "She was just a means to an end, my love! Don't you see? We can be together now, that's all that matters!!" "So, I'm just supposed to forget, is that it?? Forget how you tortured and raped-" "I didn't rape that little bitch!!" Starr stared at the man she'd once trusted with her life. "What did you say?" "No one raped Senie, I wouldn't allow it. But I had to keep her alive for two more days and then I could make her take me to you. But that's not important now." He laughed and took a step forward to wrap her up in his arms the way he'd dreamed of doing for the last five years. Starr retreated back a step, repulsed by the thought of his touch. She leaned down and picked up her weapon, training it on the monster standing in front of her. "Don't touch me." "Starr, come on... You know you could never shoot me." He stopped advancing when she cocked the gun. "Come on, Starr... We love each other. Isn't our love worth a little pain?" "Whose pain, Shainesh? Yours? Mine? Some innocent by-stander's? Senie's? When does it end??" "Where ever is has to," he insisted vehemently. "She had this coming." "She WHAT?!?!" "The fucking bitch was always too suspicious. She asked too many questions, kept trying to take you away from me. And she finally did!!" "That wasn't her fault," she gasped in disbelief. She couldn't be hearing this. Not out of _her_ man. "She didn't know!! _Neither_ of us knew 'til the bullets started flying! And then you went and joined the same people that tried to kill us - to kill me!!" The leuitenant shrugged, honestly not seeing her point. "The Monkeys don't matter. No one matters to me but you," he said quietly. He looked at her nakedly, heartfelt sorrow in his eyes. But not regret. If she had seen ever a twinge of regret in his eyes, she could have forgiven him. He'd done wrong, but she couldn't help loving him. After searching his face for any trace of the man she'd once loved, she sighed. "You really mean that." "Of course I do, Ms. Laundry Detergent," he laughed, relieved that she finally understood. "I love you, Starr." "I know you do," she choked out. The use of his old nickname for her really stung. "Goodbye, Shainesh." She fired, catching him completely off- guard. One shot between the eyes was all it took, the man was dead before he knew what was happening. Starr watched what was left of his face crumple, the light fading out of those twinkling brown eyes of his forever. The lifeless body fell backwards from the force of the bullet. If not for the gaping hold in his head, he would have almost looked peaceful as he stared up at the ceiling. Starr stood holding the weapon in both hands with her arms extended in front of her for a long time. Her body refused to lower the sidearm, her eyes refused to close against the reality of the dead man. The building around her was burning, it didn't matter. Even with her skin beginning to blister, she was frozen in place. "Starr?" The biker jumped, dropping the weapon. "I... I... He hurt Senie... I just... I had to..." She burst into tears. Theresa nodded in understanding. "You had to, Starr. There was no other way. Let's go home," she soothed, taking the trembling woman by the arm to lead her out of the crypt. Then Theresa Sullivan heard the last things she ever wanted to in an abandoned building. Most people would tell her that the roof fell in with no warning. Theresa knew otherwise. She'd _felt_ the last of the supports give way a split second before it happened. If she hadn't hesitated... "STARR! LOOK OUT!!" Both women were thrown clear of the beam when it hit, trapping Starr within the fiery depths of the building. She landed in a graceless heap close to her beloved, staring dazily though the flames at the woman who'd been at her side a moment ago. The woman was screaming at her, but the words were a jumble. Then the roar of the flames drowned her out completely. Looking around, her eyes locked onto the one she loved. The man she'd spent her entire life waiting for and dreaming of. His hand was stretched out to her, seeming to beckon her closer. Her eyes filled with tears as she crawled to him. Carefully, she lifted his head onto her lap, smoothing her tears from his cheeks. Theresa searched the cacophony for someone, anyone who could help, knowing that no one could get to them in time. In her mind's eye everything ground to a halt. She'd never forget the sound of the BOOM devastating the building to her right, bathing the side of her body in warmth for the briefest of instants before the explosion knocked her off her feet. Her head rocked back, giving her the upside-down image of a mecha tearing into Monkey hide, its owner's MOFO nothing but a pile of shrapnel in its other hand. To her right, a biker was thrown from his bike be a deadly cord of Taint. What was left of him wasn't even vaguely identifiable as anything, though the same could easily be said of the Monkey herself once Daemon and Brax finished with her. All too far away to know, all too filled with rage to help. Her head came up as she realized she would be the only one to bear witness to Starr's death. That in this dark chaos around her, she was the only one who cared. Without a thought to the silent promise not to leave until it was finished, she sat up on her elbows, too weak to stand. Starr's curly brown hair was smoldering, she could see that from where she was. The woman didn't seem to care though. In her lap was the remains of the man she'd killed. Judging from the loving look in her eyes as she caressed his cheeks, she doubted the woman cared that she was moments away from becoming a human torch. The biker's lips were moving; she focused on the words, wondering if there might be a message for Senie there. "Did you miss me, my love? I have been aching to hold you for so long... now we can be together..." It was only then that Theresa noticed the biker's sidearm being drawn. She leapt to her feet, a scream of anguish trembling on her lips. But what would that accomplish? The woman either couldn't hear her or didn't care to listen. And she was about to be burned alive. The scream remained locked in her throat. She would hold her piece, no matter what, because if she'd only been faster- Without warning, the doorway collapsed, burning the last image of Starr into her mind forever. She backed away with silent prayer for the woman's final peace as the roof caved in, realizing that there was nothing more to be done. Cheering and celebration could be heard from all around as the bikers and mecha celebrated their victory. Except for a few stray Monkeys hiding in the lush forests of this land, Venezuela was now under PSDF control, and those last remnants would be completely wiped out by dawn. Rich, Nancy and Dana watched the ensuing party from overhead. "Looks like they're having fun," Dana commented. "Yeah," Nancy droned absently. "Well, at least Venezuela is ours now," she continued. "Yeah." "And we did get Senie back-" "Will you shut up," Rich spat, enraged. "Senie's a tough kid, Rich. I wouldn't count her out just yet." Alex laid a hand on the man's shoulder. Rich nodded mutely, but stormed to her room nonetheless, resolving to go shred some targets as soon as he got back to base. This was bullshit!! He'd wanted to stay behind with the clean-up crews, but Fiss had insisted everyone in Double MD return with the shuttle. Rich's reaction was understandable, things were tense all over the shuttle. Most of the pilots had seen only glimpses of their wing leader as the High Armoured Claw sped by them, but the general consensus was that the woman was in pretty bad shape. In fact, Lylea had been the only one to venture into the cargo hold after Senie's arrival. What he'd seen had been enough to fill the Lunarian with murderous rage. It had taken every member of the squad and three tranquilizers to get the cat under control. Meanwhile it had fallen to Strike Fiss to quell the hysterical woman. Between his unending litany and his now familiar presence, she'd calmed down. Now that they'd cleaned her up some, Malcolm and Fiss found that most of the wounds could be taken care of with the extra supplies they'd brought along for this mission. But the sodomy - that would require major surgery. All they could do was give her something for the pain. An anesthetic, even a local one, might induce a coma. The return trip was quiet and uneventful, everyone keeping to his or herself. "Hey Senie, wait up!!" The woman standing on the seashore overlooking the Artic Ocean stood shock still, her eyes wild with terror. Then she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. By the time Dana caught up, Lisa in tow, she was back to normal. "Hey Lese, Danes. What's up?" The two nodded in greeting and they all set off over the grassy terrain of Spire; Dana fumbling for a way to begin and Senie lost in her own thoughts. "So... Um... How ya been? "Fine," Senie shrugged, her attention still riveted to the ocean. "Everyone says I'm healin up nicely. I should be back on active duty in a few weeks." She scratched the back of her hand absently as she watched the tide go out. "Oh... That's good. I'm glad you're okay and everything," Dana fumbled. She knew she was stalling - something Senie hated - but she honestly didn't know how to say what she'd come here to say. "What about the other thing?" The woman's head swivelled to the younger pilot for the first time as she chuckled mirthlessly to herself. Yup, the girl DEFINITELY had something on her mind. "Would that 'other thing' be the psych eval, hon?" Dana nodded and shifted uncomfortably, wishing that Lisa would say something as Senie broke into a huge fake grin. "Well, I can remember my name almost all the time now, and I only wake up screaming every _other_ night. So, like I said, I'll be back to work in a few weeks." "God, you don't have to be so pissy, Senie." "She didn't mean to pry," Lisa insisted, almost seeing the air around the woman shiver with sudden heat. She was only here to observe, but Dana was about to get herself into a world of trouble if she didn't help. "We were just worried about you." "No, it's okay," she turned to Lisa and sighed. "I had a rough night. I'm sorry." Inside, she carefully bit back an acid remark about how if they were truly concerned, they could have visited anytime. Vaguely she wondered what the youngest member of Double MD had to say that would warrant adult supervision. Deep down, however, she really didn't care enough to push the issue. For now. "What's civilian life like anyway," the younger woman grinned. "I really couldn't tell ya. I spend half my time working out and the other 'talking things out'." She rolled her eyes at that. Talking things out. How the hell do you talk about something like what she'd been through? Most of her 'sessions' consisted of her staring out the window while Reese droned on and on about how important it was to 'talk about the things that bother us'. Besides the fact that for all his degrees, his bedside manner sucked royally, he'd never understand. No one would. "The gang visits me though, so that's fun." "They do?" "Yeah... Rich, Malcolm and a couple of the others. They come to see me, keep me informed. Alex told me he'd take care of Double MD till I'm back in action. Imagine that," she scoffed. "After all the shit I put everyone through, you guys STILL want me back." Lisa decided to interject once more. "You didn't put anyone through any-" "Ah, but I did." She let the sentence dangle where it was, turning her attention back to the water. Dana started fiddling with her shirt. She just couldn't think of how to talk to Senie. She'd never known the woman, a reality that was making this 'conversation' all the harder. Dr. Lyski had said to confront the issue and resolve it, but Senie seemed entirely too calm. The only times she'd ever known the wing leader to be this calm was about two seconds before she blew up at some unlucky person. Her temper was legendary. And she'd been nothing but calm since they'd brought her to Spire six months ago to recover. Lisa's glare was warning enough of what would happen if she'd dragged the woman across the bay for no reason. She instantly decided it would be wise to try again. "Senie... We... um... finished sorting through Starr's things." "You did," she asked blandly. She hadn't volunteered any advice on what should be done about her friend's things. They'd waited the alloted time for a MIA at Theresa's insistence, but after that, Gotty had ordered the quarters emptied out, anything not useful to the Cause was to be burned in honor of their fallen comrade. Thinking of her old roommate made her feel the tiredness of disorientation sometimes and the sting of betrayal at others. She hadn't attended the 'funeral' or the party afterwards. "Yeah. It was a great party, Senie. You should have come! Fiss was in the mid-" "I know. Nancy told me." "We burned almost everything. Your buddy wasn't big on weaponry in her room, was she?" Senie had to swallow back yet another acid remark about how not in the mood she was to hear this. "I guess she wasn't." Both women blinked at how cold that sounded. Dana pressed on, desperate to fill in the strained silence. "She had some drawings of that guy Theresa told us she killed off in the compound. She told us how happy they looked together in those final moments. It would have done you good to hear her. I must have cried for hours afterwards." Again, the woman paused to clear her mind, not wanting to hurt the pilot's feelings. "I'm glad you had a good time at the party." She turned back towards Spire. This conversation was obviously headed nowhere. "Where are you going?" "I'd better get back. I'll be missed if I don't show for breakfast. Besides, Lylea'll be upset if I'm not around when he stops by today." "Lylea?" "Yeah. He comes by to see me almost everyday. Never stays long, but I was in the bathroom or something like that when he came by one time and he just lost it." She shrugged. "See ya'll later." She started up the shore. "Asenia, I'm so sorry your family had to die." Asenia froze where she was. "What did you say?" Having said what she came to say, the pilot gasped out a breath, feeling her resolve shaking apart. "Senie, you have to believe me! If I'd known you were going to lose so much by saving me, I never would have let you take that hit for me." She sank to her knees, the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. Senie turned around slowly, her fists clenched so tightly at her sides that her knuckles looked ready to burst through her skin. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? I'm stuck in the freakin 'Twilight Zone'; I lost everything worth losing to me. But that's cool though, cause if Dana Massenburg could go back in time and somehow keep me from saving her life, she would." Her gaze made the young pilot want to tap into the Earth's core for warmth suddenly. A grateful sigh escaped the girl's throat as those cold, dead eyes turned to Lisa. "Is this what you brought her here for? To insult me with this pitiful excuse for an apology??" "You know, you weren't the only one to lose something here," Dana sobbed, instantly wishing she'd kept quiet. "Oh. I'm sorry. I've been so blind to your pain, Dana. Tell me, what did little-miss-Dana lose in this venture?" Senie folded her hands over her chest and pursed her lips after giving Lisa a look that would have made a lesser mortal swallow their tongue in their haste not to speak. She wanted to hear this. "Well," the girl fumbled, trying to gather her thoughts and not appear childish in front of her accuser. "I wasn't prepared to see what really happened during the battles. I was almost shot when we went in after you! And, if you really must know, I lost my innocence!!" "Oh, DAMN!! It just sucks to be you, now, doesn't it??? No, really, let's all bow our heads in humble remembrance of Dana's innocence." The urge to pummel to girl sitting in front of her was rising at an alarming rate. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I lost mine too?! That maybe this stupid war's been systematically removing it from me!!! Honey, I wasn't even supposed to fuckin BE here!! If I'd had MY way, I'd be a year out of med school right now!!!" "Well," Dana stammered, suddenly uncomfortable with the change in topic. "Dr. Lyski said I should talk to you about-" "Dr. Lyski??" "My psychiatrist," she nodded. "_You_ have a psychiatrist? For WHAT???" Dana drew herself up to her knees angrily. "I needed someone to talk to!!! Everyone in this stupid unit talks to everyone else, but no one ever asked me how _I_ felt about all this!! You're not the only one that suffered with all that's happened! You're no the only one allowed to feel pain!" "Feel better now, Danes?" The sudden return to calm threw the eighteen- year-old completely. "I mean, now that you've gotten to use your little speech? Is there anymore? I'd love to hear it." She paused as if waiting. Then she set in on the girl, fury overriding any instinct to sugar-coat the truth for the wench. "Now, let's talk real for a moment, hon. Is this about me havin some kind of monopoly on pain, or is it about you feeling guilty for whatever imagined part you _think_ you played in all this?" Her blazing brown eyes found Lisa's once more. "Is this why you're here after half a fucking year of silence?? You bring this little bitch over to MY domain to make her feel better about herself. What the FUCK is that???" "Orders." "From who? YOU??" Lisa shrugged, not really in the mood to fight. As far as she was concerned, Jacque's 'request' that she come to Spire with Dana to help her figure things out with Senie had been nothing but a bullshit assignment. But, it was nice to see someone putting the little brat in her place. She'd been whining about Senie blaming her for her captivity for months now, without having once come to see if her accusations were true. Yep, this was turning out to be a fun day. Now, if she could just keep a straight face... "I'm no a-" "Yes, you are," Senie hissed. "Tell me what you really came here for, Dana. And don't bullshit me. Bullshitting me is one sure-fire way to get slapped right now." "You can't hit me!" The dull thud of her head hitting the ground proved the girl a liar. "Stand up." Dana clambered to her feet slowly, holding her cheek in disbelief. "Let it henceforth be known that you are no longer in Hicksville, the Boondocks, or where ever the hell you come from. There are no rules here. I can hit you if I want, you know why? Cause I fucking earned the right to. What, you think this is a game? You think you can waltz in here, spooling some wad of crap like this at me and I'd be cool with it??? See, you can talk to whatever 'doctor' you want. But know this: that don't mean shit in the real world!! Come in here tryin to tell _me_ about pain," she grumbled vehemently. "Are you out of your Goddamn mind??? You want pain; there's your first lesson. And here's number two." The girl flinched back in terror as her self-appointed teacher gripped her shirt, drawing her close. "I live in pain. I lost everyone who ever gave a shit about me in one fell swoop. I can never say 'goodbye', can never say 'I'm sorry', can never say 'I love you' to any of those people ever again. When the war is over and the world is free of Taint, I won't have a place to go. No arms will hold me; no smile will greet me. No one will be proud of me or say what a good job I did or what a noble cause I fought in." She shoved the girl away. "Now, you take THAT back to Dr. Lyski and tell him that you fucked up when you came here trying to run those mind games on me!" "I'm not trying to run mind games on you," Dana yelled from her place on the ground. "I just don't want you to blame me!!!" "For WHAT??? I don't know where YOU been or who ya been there with, but I don't recall the words 'it's all Dana's fault' coming out of my mouth at any point! Ya need to ta get off the Goddamn crack, girl! And, honestly, if you were so concerned about the possibility of my deciding to blame my misfortune on you, I've BEEN here. I haven't left this damn iceberg since I was brought here. Same address, same fuckin room, same mouth. You could have come here anytime. But no, you wait till I'm FINALLY starting to get myself together to dredge this shit up. Give me news that's MONTHS old, expecting me not to know the difference. And claim your psychiatrist sent you. Now, that's the biggest crock yet!!!" Senie smiled cheerlessly as the girl's hazel eyes grew impossibly wider at that. "I mean, really Danes, let's compare lives for a second here. You have a loving family that you CHOOSE to cut off in favor of 'adventure' and 'fitting in'. You have zero experience in the real nature of this war. Ever dodged a bullet before that night in Venezuela? Ever felt the Taint ripping through your senses?? You live your life like it's a Goddamn video game and expect everyone to cater to your 'needs'. 'No on _asked_ you'," she sneered incredulously. "Why didn't you open up that big, fat mouth of yours that's always flapping in the wind about how miserable you are around here and TELL somebody?!? But that's neither here nor there." "Meanwhile, let's talk about me. I got to hear my entire family being slaughtered, in surround sound, because I couldn't tell some Monkeyboy how we were going to hit South America. My supposed best friend blew her fucking head off because she couldn't take the idea of killing the Bitch who decided it might be nice to find out how long I could live with a white-hot, iron rod up my ASS! I've been forced into taking a leave I don't want, stuck here with _my_ version of Dr. Lyski, so I can re-learn how to do things that so many humans take for granted." Her liquid brown eyes darkened even more. "Things like, oh, I don't know, NOT have psychotic episodes from extreme sleep depravation. Said sleep depravation resulting from the fact that everytime I close my freakin eyeballs, my not-so-forgiving baby brother's final curse rings in my ears. But _YOU'VE_ got a psychiatrist??? Why doesn't this seem to compute in this brain of mine?!?!?" "Why does everyone hate me?" Dana yelled, dissolving into tears. The older woman towered over her in disgust. "Why does every freakin woman I've ever met use that stupid line?? What, is it taught in 'Copp-Out 101," she sneered. "'Oh, I can't win this argument, so I'll just throw this in to make her feel guilty.' Well, guess what? Nobody gives a shit!! My family is DEAD! My baby brother was supposed to graduate high school this year and he is gone!! My parents' 30th anniversary was last June. Who the fuck celebrated it?? I am beyond guilt, little girl." She gripped the sobbing woman up by the shirt and yanked her to her feet, slamming their faces together. "Take a good look at me, Dana. I am dead. This is what war does. It kills. See, you brought your family with you. You think that makes you safe?? Do you think they'll miss or mourn you any less when you die to this battle?? Oh, and if you still think that this is some game where you shoot up the bad guys and ride off into the sunset with your dream man, you need to leave now. Starr thought that way, and now she's gone too!! Do you want to end up like her?? TOO OVERCOME WITH GRIEF TO FUNCTION?!?!??!" "Then why do you fight," the girl asked, not knowing where the question came from and too terrified of the answer to make herself swallow. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She'd expected the woman to blame her for the death of her family. She'd been prepared to defend herself, to tell her wing commander that she shouldn't have jumped in front of her damn plane in the first place. But this... Senie wasn't saying the kind of things she could fight. And she was refusing to be bitter. It wasn't fair. The fury drained from the wing commander's eyes as she released Dana's shirt, allowing her to crumple to the floor. Inside, she was in shock. It was like watching someone else speaking through her to the eighteen-year-old. Jesus, I didn't know I had all that to say. She began to consider leaving Dana to her own... whatever, but the girl was already screaming again. "I didn't kill them, Senie!! You shouldn't have tried to help me, then none of this would have happened!!" And then she says things like that, Senie smirked inwardly. The woman forced the air out of her lungs. This was over, nothing more could come of the conversation. "Just go, Dana... You don't understand. I honestly pray you never do." Realizing that there was nothing more to be said, Dana gained her feet and was off, silence descending in her wake. The two women watched the ocean for a long time after that. "So... Why DO you fight? Senie's knees gave way, tumbling her onto the grass in imitation of Dana's actions, only more realistic. Her heart clenched, squeezing tears out of her eyes as she turned her face up to her questioner. "You already know." Yes, she knew. She looked into those deep, soulful brown eyes of hers, so vibrant and alive before all of this began and she just knew. In her mind's eye she saw her baby wrapped up in her arms, saw what that Monkeyboy had done to him before she'd been brought here... They were fighting for the same reasons now. Nothing so simple as revenge, nothing to trite as the chance to save others the same pain, but somehow both and something else, something different. Maybe that's why she'd agreed to chaperone this little 'meeting', she'd wanted Dana to know as well before it was too late. Or maybe I came for myself, she pondered idly. Maybe I came to see if Senie's fighting my kind of fight now. It was a great comfort to know that she was. "When we cleaned out her room, we found this. I... I wouldn't let them burn it. I thought you should have it." She knelt beside the woman and held out the necklace they'd found under the biker's pillow. Her now silent companion held out her own hand without looking: she already knew what it was. Her fingers closed around it as she brought her hand to her face and willed herself to open it. The chain holding the small engagement ring and a golden butterfly looked the same as it always had to her. Though a little older and tarnished from years of disuse. She turned the butterfly over and over in her fingers, surprised that she didn't feel revulsion at touching something that asshole had given her. "She should be here with me, Lisa. She was supposed to be my friend." "I know. She was just-" "Lost," the woman finished coldly. "She was lost the moment she pulled the trigger. Starr could never pull the trigger on anyone she cared so much about. Bitch," she whispered softly, the morning air taking the words to Lisa's ears. "I was supposed to protect you..." A hand landed on her shoulder, but she was too tired to shrug it off. "Senie, you know there was nothing you could do." "'Nothing I could do'! Everyone keeps saying that. But I know a secret..." she stated in a sing-song voice as she leaned in secretively and confided in the only person around. "I killed them." Lisa sat back, shaking her head. "No, you didn't." "I had a chance to save them, Lese. All I had to do was tell him everything I knew and he would have let them live. But I didn't." "You _couldn't_ tell him, Senie." "If I'd loved them even half as much as I claimed to, I would have found a way!! But I didn't even try," she choked out bitterly. "I let my family die and I didn't even try to save them! He gave me a chance, and I said 'no'! Me!! The one that's always ragging about how important my family is to me!!! How could I put anything in front of my brothers? My mom and dad??" Lisa held her friend as she cried. "You did it because you knew he would have killed them anyway." "But I should have DONE something!!" "There was nothing you could have done this time, Senie. If there's one thing I've learned since I've been here, it's that there isn't always 'something to do'. It sucks. It's not fair. But I'm telling you, you did everything you could." "And they still died," she mumbled against the woman's shoulder. "What?" "Well, at least now I know what it's like to lose someone. Not just be unable to talk to them, to see them; but to lose them for all time. At least now I know how you must have felt when you came here..." She looked up dully. "I've got no one left to lose, Lisa." She stroked the woman's slightly matted hair. "Yes you do. You can lose us. Any of us or all of us. I know how you feel, but we're not going to go away." "It's not the same. My old life is dead. I'm dead." "Then how am I talking to you?" She forced a smile. When the woman looked up with tear-filled eyes, she touched her cheek, feeling her own tears threatening to fall. "Face it, kiddo. This unit, Double MD, we've ALL lost something now. We're ALL alone, even Dana has to learn to cope. But, we're all the family we're got. You can't ditch us THAT easily." After a pause, she asked quietly: "Would you like me to help you put the necklace on?" "No." She laughed at the older woman's shocked expression. "It's time to let the old things pass away, don't you think?" Lisa nodded silently. "My mother used to say that whenever things went wrong, I should always remember, no matter what, that 'this too shall pass'. I don't know how I'm going to get back to my old self. I don't know if I'm ever going to be happy again... But I DO know that Mum-" She stopped, swallowing back tears at her old nickname for her mother. For a moment she couldn't help but remember how her mother had laughed and teased her whenever she'd called her that and even started signing her birthday cards with the name as a joke. The thought brought her back to tears, as did so many such little things. But this needed to be said. It needed to be said aloud if she was ever to stop the tears from falling at night. "I know in my heart that my mother was right. I know that this too shall pass. I will never forget them. I'll never forget what they meant to me. How much I loved them and hated them at the same time sometimes, you know?" Again, a nod. Lisa wanted to say something, but couldn't talk over the lump in her throat. "Things have gotten so real..." Senie smiled through her tears. "I knew there'd be a price to pay for this life. I just never dreamed it would be this high." She stood at last, facing the water, her voice barely a whisper. "Do you think they'd be proud of me," she asked without turning around. "I know they are," Lisa insisted firmly as she ambled to her feet. "They have always been proud of you, just like I am." With a single nod, Asenia cranked back her closed fist and pitched the necklace out into the ocean. The two watched it sailing over the waves, watched the butterfly and ring topple over and over each other as they traveled into the brilliant sunrise on the horizon. They stayed where they were a long time after it splashed into the ocean, being carried away from them by the undercurrent. Finally, Senie turned towards Spire. "Where're you going now?" "To eat," she shrugged. "I'm starving." Her smile only a ghost of what it had been once upon a time, but present nonetheless, Asenia made her way back up the shoreline. Her friend stayed behind, basking in the beginnings of a new day. ************************************************************************ DRUMS PLEASE!! There you have it, Exodus 2. If I seemed a bit defensive before, it's because this is the hardest bit of fiction or fact I've ever written. I pray it was worth the wait. Special thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who gives me strength when I have none left. Also Tozetre for not bitching (too much) while waiting for me to get my ass in gear. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! Strike Fiss also gets credit for this one, being the variable font of inspiration, suggestions, and support that he always is. And of course, the one and only Draxel. Besides being an AWESOME big brother, he's also an excellent editor! Also, I want to thank everyone who allowed me to play around with their characters a bit. Hope I didn't screw it up too bad (insert grin here ____). Finally, two huge group shout-outs. The first goes out to the House of Love for helping me get through End of Eva (oh so long ago). If not for them, I never would have found the only song capable of expressing my anguish during the 'death' scene: Sorashi Nagara. The second goes out to the Immaculata Crew for introducing me to 'Rockabye', without which the final scene could never have come about. For those of you who are wondering, 'no-ga-hey is the pronunciation of an actual Navaho word I heard in a movie once. I still love that movie, even if it _does_ freak me out from time to time. whoever can tell me what movie it comes from gets a cookie! Of course, by the time it reaches you by snail- mail, it'll probably be all moldy and such. Oh well. See ya when I see ya and not before! God Bless!! Senie, GMW