A/N: Pinkwafer requested a Remus/Rupert Giles fic, and I obliged her with this little piece.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, and all their associates are characters belonging to J.K. Rowling. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Rupert Giles are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and/or whatever legal entity holds the copyrights to them. I claim no rights to any of them, their surroundings, or their situations. Much to my sorrow.
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The two young people sat morosely on one side of the table, wearing identical, chin-in-hands expressions of agonizing boredom. Across from them, two moderately attractive, bespectacled English gents carried on an animated (and extremely esoteric) conversation that had already been in progress for hours, and showed no indication of letting up.
"...never actually seen a Dementor, thank God, but I can't imagine why. The Hellmouth ought to attract them in droves--"
"Well, but don't you see? Hellmouths are by their very nature surrounded by negativity, which is precisely the opposite of what a Dementor requires to survive. But now I understand why there's been so little vampire activity back home of late, they must all be flocking to this side of the Atlantic..."
"Really? I could swear I'd heard a rumor there had been regular sightings in that vicinity on and off for years."
"Ah, yes, I've heard that too. Bit of a misunderstanding--refers to a colleague of mine, actually. But that's all it is, a rumor." Pause. "I think..."
"Well, just let us know if he becomes a problem. Strictly off the record, mind you. I really ought to report you to the Council, you know."
"Mm, quite. Technically speaking, I should have Obliviated you long since. Care for another round?"
"I think so, yes. But tell me more about this Basilisk creature. Not the classic Basilisk of mythology at all, from what you said earlier. It sounds intriguingly similar to a being referenced in Hume's Paranormal Encyclopaedia, and it also calls to mind the demon Lurconis, which used to haunt the sewers hereabouts..."
"Ooh, I've heard of him. Nasty piece of work, by all accounts. And I'll bet you hadn't a Parselmouth in sight."
"A Parselmouth? Good God, man, half the Council is convinced there is no such thing! You mean to tell me you've actually met one?"
"Er, well...I have it on good authority that they're genuine, let's put it that way. Here, hand me that napkin and I'll do you a sketch of the beast. I'd try to arrange you a visit to the museum where they've got the thing on display, but it's no good, security would wipe your mind the second you walked in the door..."
Buffy nudged Harry, and inclined her head meaningfully toward the door of the Bronze. He hesitated a moment, weighing the pros and cons of wandering through a cemetary infested with the undead at night, versus sitting and listening to these two prattle on at one another indefinitely.
It was some time before either Remus or Giles noticed that they had the table to themselves.