| Chapter 9 |
| ** Do I really have to do this�? I no longer know. I wish I had someone by my side that I could trust and talk to about everything that has been going on. Maybe it would have prevented me from losing it. I no longer know what I must do. I know I must stand for myself, but do I want to? If only someone, anyone could help me. I feel so lost, I feel like everything has changed. Where is what we had at the beginning? What do I feel this coldness inside of me when I know that I love him more than anything else on this planet??? Why do I have to hurt him like this�? I wish someone could help me� ** She was sitting on a chair in front of the balcony window, a cup of tea on the table by her side. She had had a shower and was fully dressed. She had put her hair into a ponytail for her shower and had let it like that. Her look was distant, as if she was trying to see as far as she could in the distance. That�s how Michael found her when he woke up. �Hey Reese,� he said in a very sleepy voice, �Up already?� �I couldn�t sleep�� she simply replied, not looking at him. As he got up and put his dressing gown on too, he noticed her bag next to the wardrobe. �Already packed too? Wow. But you know we�re not leaving until the middle of the afternoon.� There was an awkward silence that she finally broke. �I�m not going with you Michael. This can�t go on�� �W� What are you talking about?� he stuttered. This was a real shock to him. �What do you mean?� �I�m going back to LA Michael� I can�t go on like this.� �But� you know that I can�t quit my world tour like this,� he said, laughing nervously. �That would mean staying apart for a long time. I don�t know if I want to do this�� She kept her eyes fixed on the horizon, not daring to look at him. �Michael� this situation cannot last anymore. I can�t go on living like this. I think our relationship has come to an end; this is getting too difficult�� �What do you mean Reese?!� he shouted, kneeling in front of her and forcing her to look at him. �Don�t talk in riddles; tell me clearly�� �I�m sorry Michael,� she said, tears forming in her eyes, her voice already broken by the emotion, �I never wanted to hurt you. But this is not life for me� I can�t live like this anymore; in your shadow, in secret, without being seen by anyone, waiting for you in hotel rooms� Do you understand it? I�m not living, I�m merely following you around�� she said as she stood up and walked away from him. �Reese,� he begged, still kneeling on the floor, �there must be something we can do to make it better� We can work it out, together�� She shook her head. �I�ve already thought about it, and there�s nothing we can do.� She looked at him deep in the eyes as he got up and walked towards her again. �No one can have a serious relationship with you Michael, because you have no private life�� He stood in the middle of the room, in front of her, not knowing what to say or what to do. He couldn�t think; his heart ached too much at the simple thought that their relationship was about to come to an end. �Reese� I� thought you were happy with me�� he murmured, �I thought that what we had was real, was good� And now you�re saying that we have to stop� Was it all lie then, all this time�?� �No�� she replied honestly. �I love you dearly Michael, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and I will probably never feel the same for anybody else in my �� �So why are you doing this to me? You just said you loved me and �� �It wouldn�t last, and one day you would wake up without me by your side, maybe just with a note telling you that I can�t stand it anymore. Is that what you would have wanted�? At least I am telling you honestly, face to face!� �So that�s it then, you�ve made up your mind, right?� he said, giving up, finally realizing that nothing he could say would help. �I�m so sorry Michael�� she murmured, tears rolling down her cheeks. �Your lifestyle and the person you are does not allow you to have a private life, and that�s not the kind of life that I want�� �Well, feel free to go now if that�s what you want,� he retorted coldly, looking at her deep in the eyes. �I�m so sorry�� she said, bursting into tears. She went to grab her bag and slowly walked towards the door. He turned around, not able to bear the sight of her leaving. �Reese!� he said, still turning her back on her as she stopped and looked at him. �I just want you to know that I� I will always love you, and no one will ever replace you�� he added, letting the tears roll down his cheeks too now that she couldn�t see his face. �That�s the most beautiful thing a woman could hear�� she managed to murmur before walking out of the hotel room. ***** As she ran in the corridor towards the elevator, she burst into tears again, thinking that she had just done one of the most horrible and awful things in her life. Yes she loved him; she hadn�t lied about that. But she hadn�t lied either about the fact that living in his shadow all the time had finally become unbearable after all those months. There was no other option, she kept telling herself. She had done the right thing for both of them, even if it really hurt. She was almost at the elevator when one of the security guys stopped her and asked her to follow him. �I�m sorry�� she murmured between two sobs, �I don�t have time right now� Please let me go�� she ended up begging. She finally followed him � or was rather forced to � and he took her into a room, where all the other men working for Michael�s personal security were gathered. Tony was there too. �Reese,� he said, �we�re gonna take you to the airport.� �No thanks guys, I�d rather walk for a while and get a taxi; I need some fresh air and the only thing I want is to get out of here really�� �Miss Conelly,� interrupted another guy, �I don�t think you�ve understood us clearly. You are not leaving this place if we don�t take you back ourselves.� �George, no need to say it that way�� Tony retorted. �Reese, you�d better follow us.� So Tony and George became her special escort back to her flat. For the first few minutes in the limousine, Reese simply looked out of the window and let her tears come out silently. She really had wished the two men would just disappear and she�d finally be alone. �Miss Conelly,� George said in an authoritative tone, �There are things that we need to talk about.� �Forgive me but I don�t feel like talking�� �You don�t have the choice�� She looked at him and what she saw in his eyes didn�t look too good to her. �Miss Conelly, we are perfectly aware of the situation with Mr. Jackson, and we have to ensure his happiness and private life.� He got a paper out of his pocket and showed it to her. �This is why I�m asking you to sign this agreement.� �W� What�?� She helplessly looked at Tony for help and comfort, but he looked away. He had grown to appreciate her a lot and was very sorry for what she had to go through. �Why should I sign this?� �By signing this, you agree to go back to your life the way it used to be; not to try to contact Mr. Jackson again � we will tell him that you moved away, to the other side of the continent maybe � and of course, not to share in any way the things that happened between you and Mr. Jackson with the public, otherwise you will be sued. Sign now.� �You don�t think that breaking up is hard enough, so you impose this too me, is that it? Are you that heartless?!� �I am just ensuring Mr. Jackson�s happiness and private life,� he merely replied, staring at her. �Right,� she said, her tears stopping. She grabbed the paper and the pen, signed it and threw it back at him. �I am so glad I will never, ever have to deal with people like you again. I knew show-business people were screwed up, but not that much�� Fortunately, they had arrived and she opened the door herself before Tony even had a chance to move. �Don�t forget our agreement Miss Conelly�� George said, holding the paper in his hand. �Reese!� Tony called as he got out of the car. �Please don�t resent Michael for this� He knows nothing about it, I promise you. He wouldn�t let them treat you this way; you know it�� �I know Tony�� she replied, tears rolling down her cheeks again. �You�ll look after him, right? Never let anything happen to him�� she added while holding him in her arms. �I promise you. Take care of yourself,� he said with a faint smile as he got back into the car. She went to the first counter available and booked a one-way ticket on the first flight to LA, not thinking twice about it. |
| To be continued? |