Date: December 16th, 2001
Time: 10:30 PM
Place: Smallville, in my room
Dear Diary,
Oh God. Oh
God. Oh God… I can’t believe I, SUPERGIRL, have agreed to do this…
No, I’m not having a panic attack.
Well…
Yes I am, but not drug-induced. Try Luthor-induced. Oh
God. I went to Luthor today to ask for
help…
“Perhaps… I can help you, perhaps. But you do realize you’ll have to do
something for me first.”
“Like… what?”
“I’m not sure yet.
Do you have a blood sample?”
“I… yeah…”
And so I gave it to him.
It was a while before HIS scientists got the results back. The drugs are getting stronger in my
system. They’ve attached themselves to
some sorta blood cell that isn’t red OR white.
Must be a new development with living with the yellow sun…
Now, the complicated part. This was about 11:00 AM today, and then Luthor told me to come
back for dinner (Eastern time) at 5:00 (4:00 Smallville time). So, stupid me, not really comprehending, did
as he asked. Showed up at his mansion
(which is gorgeous, let me tell you) and we… had dinner. It was less comfortable than when I’m Kara
KENT… But the food was good.
And then it’s when he began to talk.
“I’ve realized what you can do for me, Supergirl.”
“But you haven’t--!”
“Hear me OUT first.”
“Fine.”
“You need something to purify your system. I need something for that and for other
things. But I haven’t got it. I know where it can be gotten FROM.”
“Where?”
“Wayne Enterprises…”
“Wh-What is it?”
He must have detected the shaking in my voice.
“Something wrong?”
“Uh… dr-drugs reacting again…”
“Mmmhmm… Anyway,
it’s a chemical hybrid called “trilocotheratal”.”
“Say THAT three times fast…”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Anyway—“
“I can’t just ASK Wayne Industries to GIVE it to me!”
“I know.”
“…You—you… want me to STEAL it?!”
“In brute terms, precisely.”
“Oh my god…”
“Don’t take it so dramatically Supergirl. You DO want to clear your system before it
gets out to your friends and family what’s wrong with you, and *I* want that
trilocotheratal.”
“I am NOT GOING TO STEAL! And from Bruce Wayne, no less!
That man is one of the few DECENT entrepreneurs on this Godforsaken
planet, unlike you!”
“Suit yourself.
You asked for my help. I told
you how to I could give it to you. It’s
YOUR choice. Your reputation is at
stake though. Think of the
scandal. “Superjunkie”—“
“Oh, rub it in.”
“That’s a title to be proud of.”
“Grr…”
“I suggest you go and you think about it. If you decide to do it, I expect the trilo
in my hands by seven tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll NEVER steal!
Not for anything!”
“Oh, I’m sure you feel that way now.”
I left… almost immediately.
Soon after, I broke into a complete panic attack in my
room at Clark’s. Poor neighbors… I accidentally busted a hole through into
their apartment and clear through to Steve’s and Justin’s place. The two had come over to ask if everything
was okay… I… nearly punched them both
and slammed the door in their faces, screamed an apology and fled out. Got back home at about 6:30… and after
completely breaking down off in some remote corner of the farm acres, I went to
my room… and I’ve been here ever since… preparing.
I took the body suit, not the helmet, of the suits Kal
and I designed during our power drain—the black leather-kevlar ones? I took out the machinery and I removed the
patches of our shield from it. I’ve got
a mask that I can put my hair in, but it doesn’t cover my eyes… so stole Kon’s red
non-frames and I’ll put them over the mask.
I’ll be completely concealed.
If Bruce catches me, he probably won’t be able to stop me
because he’ll think I’m a regular cat burglar.
But the moment he comes after me, he knows my moves—he’s TAUGHT me half
of them! And he knows my strength, and
my size. He’ll have me pegged
down. I researched “trilocotheratal”. It’s a universal substance used for cleaning
windows permanently, herbicides, and even bombs more powerful than Earth has
right now. That’s why it can help
me. That’s why Luthor wants it.
Bruce might catch me.
If I get hit with a panic attack, it’ll set off the alarms, I’ll get
caught on tape. He won’t recognize
me. But the body signature senses will…
no they won’t, the suit blocks life signals.
I need to relax… But what if
Luthor’s just using me to get the trilo and won’t provide a cure? I’ll HAVE to step forward and tell
them. But they think it’s out of my
system… Luthor recommended becoming a
full-out junkie at one point.
Asshole. He has a point but I
WON’T do that.
I keep hoping Kyle will call or… or something… If he does, I can tell him and he can stop
me. I’m already suited up and ready to “head
forth” to Gotham, to get into the labs.
I don’t want to do this. It’s a
bad idea. But I could kill someone in
this condition. Bruce and Clark and
everyone will be *so mad* that I let Kon do this to me, I can’t tell them. And then the others will be just as
mad. I don’t want to do this, I hope
Kyle will call in about two minutes.
On the other hand…
Dick’s in a coma. Bruce might
not be on patrol. I could be in and out
no problem and cured by tomorrow night.
If I can move fast enough, no one will realize it’s missing until
inventory’s taken. In and out job. I’ve done this stuff on Argos before, and
schools there have about the same amount of security a lot of places here
have. Yes, diary, I broke into my
school. It was during a fight with my
brother, I had to destroy his kaladta—basically his locker. Snore-a-roo, that was easy.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, I’m shaking so bad
again, headache with it. Not a panic
attack, just withdrawal symptom, I suppose.
No one has called or come up to my room. No one’s going to stop me.
What did I expect? No one’s ever
there when I *really* need them, always when I want them to leave me alone, are
they there. Never at times like these… I better go, diary. Wish me luck, eh?
…
I don’t want to do this.
§Kara§