Date:  November 13th, 2001

Place:  Clark’s Apartment

 

JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMERSCHMITT!!!

            I’m having a horrible day, you know that?

            This is technically Kara’s computer console, ya know, the graphic writer?  But I stole it and now it’s mineminemine for as long as I want to play!  See, lookie at the program set up.  It looks all official and stuff at the beginning!

            Anyway, I need to talk to Batman.  Superman won’t listen to me.  He never does, he doesn’t care.  Kara can’t help me.  She’s not patient enough.  Listen to me talk about

patience, yo.  Talk about funky.  I need to talk to Batman because he’s powerful.  Yeah, I

know Kal is powerful, but only politically and legally.  Batman is so underground, and

that is what I need.

            Clark’s mad at me.  Because of Knockout, Tana and that woman I still need to get a name from.  Oh!  I should explain, shouldn’t I?  Basically what happened was that Tana and I are together, so naturally we’d be going at it like monkeys.  But she was mad at me for a while, and I almost slept with a Legionnaire, but she was way too becoming for me.  Then Knockout came along and… woo, I thought Tana had experience, but Knockout taught me things…  She memorized the Kama Sutra, and she taught me that and other kinky stuff and that is so totally great!!!!  I know Barbara doesn’t want me doing stuff like that.  Clark doesn’t either.  But Kara and I were talking, and you know, for all the fighting we have when it comes to talking about whoopee, she’s pretty damn cool.  She says that as long as I don’t get a disease, I should be fine.  Heheheheh.  Kara’s great like that sometimes.  She understands.  It’s fun.  There was also this married woman, but I didn’t know she was married!!  Honestly!  Not until her husband busted in and attempted to shoot me and freaked when the two rifle shots bounced off me.  Heh.  Love that TTK.

            Mandy’s at it again.  Kara met Mandy when she came to beat me up in Honolulu.

You might not be familiar with her though.  She’s this six foot something woman who ways about as many tons, and she’s a vicious bitch.  We banter like constantly.  But the thing is, Mandy works for the government, and she’s so angry, she used her power… to influence… a new act… and… I don’t like it…

            I need Batman’s help.

 

Kon-El