My Coming Out Story
I was 19 when I first had feelings for a woman.  I had always knew before that I was attracted to women, but I would just blow it off and say something like, "If I was a man, I would date her" or something like that.  I grew up Southern Baptist, and was raised that being gay/lesbian was wrong.  When I went off to college, there was a woman I started having feelings for.  I didn't know what to do.  It was so confusing to me.  I confided in some other lesbians at my school about my feelings, and they answered some questions that I had, and helped me realized that it was OK to feel the way I was feeling. 

Like I said before, I was raised Southern Baptist.  I decided to come out as being Bisexual.  I came out to my friends and even my sister that I was bi at 19.  When I was 20, I met my now ex-boyfriend.  I thought that if I was with him, that it would somehow make it OK that I liked women.  I was with a real loser of a guy.  He was an alcoholic and real controlling.  I didn't find out about the controlling part until after we moved in together, and he controlled everything.  Well, we broke up for the final time on January 2, 2001.  In July of 2001, I came out to my parents that I was a lesbian.  I had decided after my ex and I broke up that I couldn't lie to myself anymore.  I wasn't happy, and I couldn't deny my true self anymore. 

I wasn't going to tell my parents because I was scared that they (my mom) would disown me.  When I told them, it was the hardest thing I'd ever done.  My mom didn't talk to me for a while, which is hard considering I live only two rooms down from her room (I still live at home).  My dad on the other hand was very supportive.  He told me that as long as I'm happy he could learn to live with it.  He said that even though he doesn't agree with what I do, he still loves me. 

I met my now ex-girlfriend in August of 2002.  My family met her in December of the same year.  My mom started inviting her to stuff, and even asked me when we were going to move in together because I was always staying with her on the weekends. 

That just goes to show you that you can't always trust what you think.  My mom is very religious, and she doesn't agree with me being a lesbian.  She still loves me for me though.  In the November 2004 election when there was a vote to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage, she voted for the amendment.  It didn't shock me, but was very hurt by it.  How can someone I love vote against me..their own daughter.

I believe that you can't help who you love, and the longer you deny your heart, the longer it will take you to be truly happy.  I have been lucky because I haven't lost any friends or family due to me coming out.
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