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Uncontrolled Obsession Chapter 7.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry, I am back for now. I hope y'all like this chapter, I'm sorry my writing hasn't been as frequent or the same as before but I hope you're still enjoying. Here's more.
Chapter Seven
~*A Month Later *~
"One more Jessica..." I shook my head no.
"You have to try...one more bite." Tears pricked the corner of my eyes and threatened to fall.
"I can't..." I let them fall freely now and put my fork down. I started sobbing in front of the nurse who was assisting me. I don't know how long I had my head down crying before I heard him.
"What's going on here...?" He asked concerned. He walked over to my bedside and rubbed my neck.
"I"m just trying to get Jessica to have one more bite." The nurse spoke to him.
"Jess...?" He asked looking down at me. I looked up at him and tears still fell.
"I can't...Nick, I can't..." I cried to him. He knelt down to me and hugged me.
"It's okay, we'll try later...it's okay." I could feel his warm breath on my neck and my tears soaked through his white coat.
"Dr. Lachey...she needs..."
"I know what she needs, I'm her doctor but at the moment she's obsessing and getting upset by the one bite she has left. Its not worth getting her this upset by, we'll try later." He continued to rub my back while the nurse took my food and left the room. Nick stayed with me until I calmed down and fell asleep. While I was sleeping the last four weeks just poured into my mind; giving me memories I didn't want...and nightmares. |
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| Everyday, I woke up, and my meals were shoved into my face, a different nurse was there every morning to help me eat. I couldn't even do it on my own, how pathetic. I couldn't be trusted to eat on my own, I couldn't do anything on my own. After breakfast, I'd sit there, like I spent most of my days doing, watching TV. I didn't even have the strength or ability to get out of bed, my body was too weak, too frail to move, to do anything. Mom and dad came to visit me every day, they'd be there for lunch time, and they'd have to watch me again, being forced to down my food while being surprised. The best part of the night came after mom and dad left, always before dinner; Dr. Lachey would come and visit me. He and I would play cards or even just watch TV on his break, and then when my dinner arrived to my room, instead of having the grouchy, mean nurses, he'd stay and not force the food down my throat, but help me. He wasted his entire break just to spend it with me. I felt badly about it, but he insisted I shouldn't. He'd become special to me, though we'd never discussed what happened months ago when he took me to the cafeteria, it didn't seem right. Maybe the emotion, maybe the moment we got caught up in was the blame for that but it was past. I was grateful to have someone who cared so much and wanted to help me so much that was all. It made fighting this disease somewhat easier. I did dread each day though, no matter how much easier Dr. Lachey made it for me, everyday was a harder fight, harder mission of needing to get better. I had to be weighed everyday by a nurse, usually the same grouchy nurse that forced the food into me. It took me all of my energy to get from the bed to the foot of the bed where they had moved my scale. I lay in the hospital bed every night and I cried...I wanted my life back, the life I had a long time ago. This was my life now... |
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Almost a month later, I was released from the hospital, I was happy but a part of me couldn't help but be sad, I'd spent almost half a year in the hospital and I'd had the chance to see him...everyday, now, I wouldn't be able to see him, I wouldn't have something to fight for, and as much as it saddened me, it terrified me at the same time. Was I really that weak that I couldn't handle something on my own just because I wouldn't see him everyday? Yes...is what I told myself. I never believe in myself, not anymore, it's impossible to. My mom grabbed my belongings and helped me walk out the door to my hospital room. I stopped and turned, looking at the square room behind me. As I closed the door, I thought about how I was closing this chapter and beginning a new chapter...a harder and much more strict chapter...rehabilitating myself, my body...my mentality. By myself. We went to the nurse's station and my mom signed my release papers, I was hoping I'd catch him once more, and thank him, before we left but as she handed the nurse the pen and papers, we began walking towards the exit. I held my tears back and walked beside my mom.
"Jessica....!" I could have sworn I heard my name as I stepped through the front glass doors but by the time I turned the corner outside the hospital and saw him...he was turning around and walking back in the direction of the nurses' station...I'd missed my last chance. Getting into my mom's car, not one word was spoken on the ride to her house. I didn't want to talk, life was becoming a reality of how much I had messed up, and I was ashamed, I was embarrassed. When we reached the house I had called home until I got married, I slowly made my way inside, instead of greeting my dad or sister; I just went straight up to my old room and collapsed onto my bed. I didn't wait, I let the tears fall instantly and I curled my hands into fists around my blanket...I cried for hours, and I didn't know why.
*Okay, this chapter sucked and was super boring, but I wanted to establish something, and I AM doing that so please be patient, I've got my ideas in the making already for the next chapter. Please, if you read this, REVIEW! |
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