"I have bad news," the doctor announced.

Nick gripped Jessica's hand tighter and felt the blood drain from his face. All optimism flew out the window. Jessica felt the muscles in her legs go flaccid and thanked god she wasn't standing. "What is it?" she whispered.

"We got the results back from the tests we did yesterday."

"And?" Nick asked impatiently.

"And…the chemotherapy has so far been unsuccessful.

"What are you saying?" Jessica asked evenly.

"Jessica…there is no other way to say this…the cancer has metastasized in your spine. It isn't a good sign."

Jessica digested the news numbly. She had dreaded those words since the moment she had been diagnosed with cancer. Ugly word…metastasis. She had been warned that it was a possible consequence but had never really believed it would happen to her. But then she had never thought that she’d get cancer either, so someone above was obviously enjoying destroying all her beliefs. She looked at Nick, he was silent, contemplating: a thousand thoughts crossing his mind. The churning in her stomach was not fear for herself, but more fear for him. Without thinking, words popped out of her mouth.

“How long?”

Nick turned to her in horror, the implication of her words piercing through his muddled thoughts. How could she be so calm? So calculating? He saw the doctor’s mouth open to reply, but heard no words. Without further thought he moved towards the door, his legs feeling detached from his body…a mind of their own.

“I have…I…I need some air,” he announced; the words forming of their own accord. He had lost complete control of all his actions.

Jessica watched him go, wishing she could jump out of bed and enclose him in her embrace, never to let go. The doctor also watched him go, feeling awkward. Jessica turned back to him, tears shining in her eyes, “Two years?”

He nodded.

“What if…what if I don’t want treatment?”

Dr. Morrison watched her face intently for a second before answering, “Maybe 6 months. Maybe less.”

***

Nick blindly walked out of the hospital and found himself in a garden. He sat on a bench and covered his face with his hands. He had been so sure, so certain that Jessica would be okay. How could God be so cruel to put him through this twice? Did he have some agenda against him? He went to church regularly, went to confession, and lived a reasonably moral life. He fought for people that other people persecuted, people nobody would help. Sure he had often used morally questionable tactics, but he had often returned freedom to innocent people. Why was he being punished?

A hand fell on his shoulder and he looked up to meet Jessica’s concerned eyes. Wordlessly he stood and wrapped his arms around her. Her body molded into his naturally, as it had done countless times before. Holding her seemed so right. So natural. If only he could hold onto her forever. Protect her forever. She looked so thin, fragile. As though the cancer was not only destroying her organs but also her spirit. He held her as though he would never hold her again. He could feel Jessica’s tears wetting his chest, through his shirt and fought the urge to shed his own. She needed him to be strong for her. His moment of weakness was over. He had to be strong now. It was just like when his mother had died and people had patted him on the back and in a comforting tone told him, “You have to be brave” and “take it like a man”. Yes, he had to be strong now. Strong for Jessica. Her sobs eventually abated, but her head remained obstinately buried into his chest. Finally he heard her voice, muffled by his Armani shirt. “This is so unfair.”

Nick silently agreed. The words however pierced into his emotional vault. His mother had always had a response for him when he had uttered similar words. “Life’s not fair,” she’d say. Somehow he didn’t think Jessica would appreciate the same sentiment now.

“I know,” he whispered instead.

“We need to talk,” she told him. The sun disappeared behind a cloud, leaving the garden in shadow. Clothed only in thin pajamas, Jessica shivered. Nick took of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Sitting on the bench he pulled her down into his lap, enclosing her in his embrace to keep her warm. Jessica relaxed into him and they sat for a few moments, enjoying the peace. Nick sat watching a bee sample a selection of flowers, not really seeing it but following its movement unconsciously.

“We need to talk,” Jessica repeated finally.

He nodded.

She took a deep breath. “He says that if I continue treatment, I probably have about 2 years.”

Nick leaned forward so that his cheek was resting on her shoulder. Two years wasn’t nearly enough. Was he being selfish for wanting her for longer than that? But his thoughts suddenly jumped elsewhere as the implication of her words hit him. “If?”

She nodded.

“But...” he stopped. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Of course he wanted her to continue. She had to give it a chance, take every opportunity. He had to make her see that.

Jessica felt the tears begin to fall again. This wasn’t right. She wasn’t ready. Two years wasn’t nearly enough time to experience all that life had to offer. There were so many things she wanted to do. And how could she leave Nick? How could she even consider not fighting this illness for a few more moments with him? Precious moments like lying in bed on Sunday morning, reading the newspaper, breakfast remains scattered over the bed, music playing softly in the background. How could she not fight for those times? But then there was the alternative; an alternative that scared her more than anything. “Nick...I hate this...the treatment...I hate it. I don’t want to go through hell for a few more months of life. And it’s not a quality life...I hate the thought of lying doped up in a bed...we have to think about...it might be easier....” She couldn’t do this. How could she prioritize ending everything over spending time with Nick?

As though reading her mind, he replied in a hurt whisper, “You can’t even do it for me?”

 Nick watched his words affect her. With voice cracking, fighting the tears that were desperate to fall, she replied, “I want to...I really want to. But I’m afraid I won’t be able...” she succumbed to the tears and the sentence was cut off.

“Of course you can,” he replied. Holding her tightly. “Of course you can. I’m here for you. I will always be here for you. You won’t be going through this alone, Jess.” He listened to her cry and talked, this time in a much softer voice as though afraid the world would hear his confession. Tears began to make a slow journey down his face and Jessica reached up to wipe them away. This must be hell for him, she thought. But his next words cleared her mind of all thought. “You still have a chance Jessie. There are treatments they can try. You can still fight this. We have to try.”

“I know,” Jessica whispered.

Her words were so soft that Nick almost missed them.

Without daring to hope he asked, “You do?”

She nodded, “I want to continue treatment.”

 ***

Nick walked into the studio later that day to be greeted with Lea’s frustrated glare, “Where have you been?” she demanded. “You’re cell phone was off, you weren’t answering at home. They couldn’t find you at the hospital. We’ve been going crazy here trying to find you!”

“Is that Nick?” Drew asked breathlessly, appearing from the conference room.

“Yeah the prodigal son has returned,” Lea replied sarcastically.

Nothing was able to take away from the hope, the optimism Nick was now feeling. Not even Lea in a ghastly mood. He had watched as Jessica had received her dose of chemotherapy, certain now that everything would be okay.

“What’s up?”

“Silva came by.”

“Silva? What did he want?”

“You’ll never guess.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Nick replied. His mind was so intently focused on Jessica; it would be a challenge to think coherently of anything else.

“The police found new evidence.”

“What?”

“Evidence that proves beyond any doubt that we did nothing wrong in our business.”

“WHAT!?” Lea went on to explain it to Nick.

 “Oh my god.”

“They’ve dropped the suit.”

“Oh my god.”

Justin walked in the door, relief washed over her as she saw Nick. “Have you heard!?”

Nick nodded numbly.

“Isn’t it amazing?”

He nodded again.

“Can you do anything but nod?” Lea grinned impishly.

He shook his head and they all laughed. Lea enveloped him in a hug.

“How’s Jessica?” she asked.

He was silent.

She pulled out of the hug and asked with trepidation, “Nick?”

“Uh...she...we had some bad news.”

The cheer in the room was instantly replaced with worry.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Drew asked.

“The cancer has spread.”

“Oh God,” Jeff whispered. Every other thought flew from his mind. This couldn’t be happening.

 ***

 Autumn’s dazzling colors shone brightly in the deep blue sky as Jessica leaned over the toilet bowl, energetically expelling the contents of her lunch. It was at times like these that she questioned her decision to continue with treatment. But a month had passed since that day and every moment since had been stored in her mind, treasured like a precious gift from a close friend. Even on days like this when her body seemed determined to keep her miserable, she remained grateful for all that she had. She grimaced as another wave of nausea flowed through her body, beginning in her abdomen, compressing her chest and numbing her mind. She leaned once more towards the toilet bowl and when the nausea abated, rested her head gratefully against the cool ceramic base. The chill felt good against her skin.

“Jessica?”

She lifted her head at the sound of his voice. Nick. Her knight in shining Armani. She waited for him to find her, knowing that he’d check the bathroom first.

“Jess?” Nick pushed the door open and saw his wife sitting on the floor. He took in her gaunt face and strands of hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. “I should have come home sooner.” He apologized, wetting a towel and sitting next to her.

She lifted her head enough to shake it slightly, “There’s nothing you can do.”

“I want to be here for you.”

Warmth flooded through her body and the nausea forgotten as he spoke so earnestly. She leaned forward and kissed him tenderly, “Thank you.”

He gently wiped her face with the towel and his voice became slightly hoarse. “My dad never left my mothers side, the whole time she was sick.” He shook his head. “Not that it did much good.”

Jessica felt her heart break. “Nick, she may not have recovered, but I’m sure his presence made her feel so much...happier...and loved.”

He nodded. “I think he gave her hope.”

She smiled softly, reaching out for his hand. “And I bet you did too.”

He played with her wedding band, “Yeah.”

With wobbly legs she stood up, challenging the nausea to return. Nick reached forward and helped her back to their bedroom, where she unwrapped her bathrobe and crawled gratefully into bed.

“You give me hope,” she told him finally. “I couldn’t survive through any of this without you.”

“Yeah right. The stubborn Jessica Lachey give up on something?” he teased.

She swatted him, “Watch it. I’m sick remember.”

“Oh how convenient,” he pulled blankets up over her shivering body. “Have you been like this all day?”

“Lunch didn’t agree with me.”

“How argumentative”

She smiled in response.

“Well...get some sleep. I’ll make dinner.”

Her face turned green at the thought.

“Or not,” he added hastily, pushing himself off the bed to leave her to rest.

“Nick...stay,” she said. He didn’t need to be asked twice and was soon cradling her in is arms, her head nestled comfortably on his shoulder. With a deep, satisfied breath she relaxed against his body. For the first time that day she felt almost normal. Finding the hem of his shirt she ran her hand up beneath it, feeling his abdominal muscles contract under her touch. She smiled. She might look like hell but her influence on him hadn’t changed at all. It was encouraging.

“Nick?” she asked, fearing that he was close to sleep.

“Hmmm?”

Okay not so encouraging. She ran her hand southwards, hoping that at least a part of him might wake up. “Nick?”

With a sudden movement Nick grabbed her hand and rolled over so she was held prisoner beneath his body. “Yes?”

She grinned, “Nothing.”

“I thought you were feeling sick.”

She considered, “Well I’m a little better now.”

They kissed hungrily, seizing the rare opportunity to make love. Celibacy had become one of the more disappointing side effects of the cancer.

As suddenly as they started, they stopped. Nick had pulled away and was searching her face, “Are you sure.”

She answered with another enticing kiss, at the same time beginning to unbutton his shirt.

Nick pulled back, “If I hurt you...”

She nodded, “I’ll scream.”

“You always scream,” he smirked, running a hand up her thigh.

“Well I’ll yell ‘oh god’” she suggested, furrowing her brow with mock seriousness.

His hand stopped, “No you do that a lot too.”

She laughed and kissed him again. “Prove it.”

Being a good arguer, he was always able to back up his statements with fact and he most satisfactorily made his case.

 ***

 The brilliant golden hues of autumn slowly muted into faded grays and the icy fingers of winter began to caress exposed skin at every opportunity. Jessica lay on the sofa, an episode of Passions playing soundlessly on the background as she listened to the rain. Her hair (which had miraculously remained rooted into her scalp) was fanned out on the cushion behind her and her hands played with the tassels on the blanket covering her body. Four months had passed. Her days had been one of two kinds, good or bad. Either she woke up feeling mostly bright and happy. The discomfort that she had grown to accept, constantly lingered in the background, but her attitude towards life was good. The bad days began with pain and ended usually with exhaustion. Today was a good day. She had kissed Nick goodbye with TV remote control in hand, resigned to another day of daytime soaps. Truth be told, she was beginning to quite like Guiding Light, but Passions she could do without. She has spent the past three weeks at home and the boredom was killing her. Nick had insisted she stay at home and rest and she had complied without argument. The smallest exertions tended to exhaust her and work was beginning to take its toll. But she needed to do something.

With a sigh she dragged herself off the sofa and into the shower, sighing with contentment as hot water cascaded over her shoulders.  She opened the closet thoughtfully after showering and eyed the contents with speculation and finally reached for one of her favorite outfits. It felt good to be able to dress in real clothes again, rather than the pajamas that had made up the bulk of her wardrobe for the past few months. She pulled her athletic ankle socks over freshly shaven legs and dressed in a crisp white tight fitting shirt and a pair of black juicy track pants and matching jacket. She admired her reflection in the mirror, feeling normal for the first time in months.

Within minutes she was reversing her underused car from her parking space and driving it carefully through city traffic to the office. Her arrival was greeted with stunned silence until Lea shrieked; “Jessica!” and pandemonium broke out. Nick emerged from his office and silently watched everybody greet her ecstatically with hugs. His feelings changed with every passing second. He had first reacted with shock at her appearance. When he had left, she had been sitting on the sofa in her PJs watching the morning news, to see her now looking almost normal in her everyday clothes gave him a hope he hadn’t dared believe in the past months. His next feeling was concern. Was she okay to come to work? Would the stress be too much for her? And it was winter...the flu could easily land her in hospital. Yes, it was much safer for her to stay at home and rest. When the group finally dispersed, Jessica collapsed exhausted into her chair. Five minutes in the studio and her resolve to come back to work part time had all but vanished. Her abdomen throbbed steadily and her muscles felt completely drained of energy. She sneaked a look through the blinds to see Nick hunched over his desk. He had barely greeted her before disappearing back into his office. She heaved herself from her seat and walked under the watchful eye of all her coworkers into his office, closing the door gently behind her.

“Hey,” she tried unsuccessfully to hide the tiredness in her voice.

“Hey,” he replied.

“Big client?” she sat down with a slight thump.

He rubbed his temples, “Yeah. We got it today.”

“Need some help?” she asked pointedly, hoping that he would explain his reaction to her returning to work.

He looked at her seriously for a second before shaking his head, “Drew’s helping me.”

“Well I could help with res-“

“Jess why did you come back?” he interrupted.

“Nick-“

“No I really want to know. You spend most days unable to get out bed; the smallest things tire you...why...why do you want to put yourself through this?”

“I need to keep busy.”

“But work-”

“Nick I don’t want to come in every day, I don’t even want to come in for full days, but being at home is driving me insane. I have absolutely nothing to do...I need to do this."

"The doctors said-"

She sighed, "I know."

Nick sat thoughtfully. His first instinct was to drive her home and lock her in their bedroom for compulsory rest, but it contradicted everything he loved and admired about her. She was a strong, independent woman and he should be happy that she felt good enough to want to come to work. With a sigh he raised his head and met her gaze. He saw the stubborn glint in her eye and knew that the situation could easily develop into a full blown argument, which would not be conducive to the low stress levels he desired.

"Okay."

She raised her eyebrows, "Okay? I'm not asking for your permission Nick."

He sighed again, she was ready to fight and it seemed that nothing he said would deter her. "I'm not trying to control your life...god knows I can't do that."

Jessica immediately regretted her words, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so defensive.  Hey you know, maybe your dad has something I could go down to the firm and help hi with…it’ll probably be easier on me.” Nick smiled…

“Give him a call…you know he’d love to see you anyways…” Jessica nodded and called John. Ten minutes later she popped back into Nick’s office. “I’m gonna go help your dad.”

“Okay but when it gets too much…I know, I know.” He kissed her. “Love you…”

“Love you too…” Jessica walked out and headed out. She got there five minutes later and John was in his office. He greeted her with a hug.

“Hey sweetheart…”

“Hey John…is there a case that needs dusting off?"

"I know one that needs some of your constitutional genius," John told her sincerely. He walked to his filing cabinet and opened the top drawer. The file was covered with dust, which he wiped off hastily.

Jessica looked at him skeptically, "How long has that been in there?"

He grimaced, "Too long." He handed her the file and she opened it curiously. The first thing she saw was a picture of a young girl smiling broadly at the camera. John watched her expression change from casual interest to intense focus as she began to read. He could almost see a lawyer side of her brain switching on as she began sorting through the information.

"I'll take you home at lunchtime if you're tired," he told her as she began to walk out.

"Okay," she replied, not really hearing what he had said. Through the blinds he watched her sit at a desk and chewed the end of her pen thoughtfully. He realized whether his son liked it or not, she was where she was meant to be; whether it be at the studio with her husband or helping John at his office.

***

Jessica lifted the knocker and rapped lightly on the door. She could hear voices from within and finally footsteps approaching and the door opened slightly to reveal a tired face, "I don't want to buy anything," it told her.

"Hi Mrs. Reynolds? My name is Jessica Lachey, we spoke on the phone yesterday."

"Oh. The lawyer?"

"Well not a lawyer…I help my father in law at his law firm but I know quite a bit about the law yes…It’s about Ashleigh."

The door closed as the chain was removed and opened widely to reveal a dimly lit front room with brown curtains and damp walls patterned with mold. Jessica screwed up her nose slightly and followed the woman into another similar room containing a couple of odd armchairs and toys strewn about on the floor.

"Have a seat," the woman indicated to the cleaner of the armchairs and Jessica perched on it uneasily. A dog belted in from another room and jumped ecstatically onto Jessica's lap. She couldn't help but giggle as the squirming bundle of fur planted kisses on her chin.

"Max! Down!" the woman commanded, to little effect.

Jessica tried pushing him off gently but when this had no effect, she unceremoniously dumped him on the floor and turned back to the woman. "Mrs. Reynolds, where is Ashleigh now?"

Her grim face broke into a broad smile, "Its Laura...none of this Mrs. Reynolds stuff for me. It makes me feel old."

Jessica smiled back.

Laura returned to the question, "She's playing with her best friend, Sarah. Sarah's mom picked them up from school."

"How long have you been looking after her?"

"We've been fostering children for over ten years now, and Ashleigh has been with us for three years."

"You wish to adopt her?"

"You don't understand Mrs. Lachey, my husband and I have wanted to adopt a child for years but we're considered to be too old. We tried for years to have children of our own but by they time the doctors informed us that we wouldn't be able to...we were already approaching the maximum age. So we turned to fostering children, which has been very rewarding, but not permanent. When we met Ashleigh she was just two and we feel like she's our daughter. About six months ago they began thinking it would be beneficial to return her to her mother...her mother is a heroin addict! How do they expect her to be able to support her...financially and emotionally?!" She began to sob into her hands. "We don't have much, but we have love to give and we'd never let her go hungry or without clothes or books. And she loves us!"

"You won an injunction preventing them from taking her away from you?"

"A temporary one, yes."

"And you've attempted to adopt her?"

"As soon as we met her, we inquired about adoption. They turned us down because of our age. We've tried everything we can in the last three years but they've stopped listening. We just get our letters sent back to us." She pulled a tissue out of a pocket and blew her nose.

"And you want to take it to court?"

"Yes. Can we do that?"

"We can certainly try. The problem will be her age. A child under five isn't considered to have the same understanding of the situation and the court deems them unable to make their own decisions. We'll need to find a way to introduce her testimony."

"But you can do that right?"

Jessica smiled, "I hope so."

"Mrs. Lachey-"

"Please...call me Jessica."

She hesitated, "Jessica...we don't have a lot of money..."

Jessica shook her head, "Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"My father in law’s firm takes on pro bono cases regularly...I'm certain there will be no argument from him or his partners over taking this case."

"Well thank you. We'll give you what we can..."

"No that isn't necessary. I'll have him draw up the lawsuit and file it this afternoon and I'll give you a call tomorrow about meeting to discuss more aspects of the case."

"Great. Thanks again."

"No problem." She stood up to leave and felt a sharp pain shoot across her abdomen. She doubled over and gasped for air.

Laura was immediately by her side, a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"I'm...." Jessica sat back down. "I'm fine. I just....I just need to catch my breath."

Laura stared at her for a second, "You don't look very well."

"I'll be okay. This happens sometimes."

"You mean it’s happened before?"

Jessica sighed. She had been hoping to keep the disease a secret for the time being, but now it looked like she'd have to tell. "I have cancer."

The older woman gasped, "I'm so sorry!"

"But please, don't worry about your case...I'll be fine to help continue."

Laura almost laughed at her preposterous words, "I’m not worried about the case, I'm worried about you. Are you sure you’re okay? Can I get you anything?”

“Actually a glass of water would be great.”

“Sure.” She bustled away and soon returned with a tall glass of water, ice blocks clinking in the top.

Jessica pulled some pills from her purse and popped one into her mouth while her new client watched nervously.

“How long have you had it?” Laura finally asked.

“Six months.”

“I’m terribly sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jessica took a deep breath as the pain receded into a dull ache.

“My husband’s sister died of cancer. Lung cancer...she was a heavy smoker.” She shook her head sadly, and then looked up startled. “I didn’t mean to imply that you’d die! I’m so sorry...I didn’t mean that at all. I should learn to keep my mouth shut!”

Jessica smiled, “The world would be a boring place if nobody said anything.” She pulled her cell phone out of her purse. “Do you mind if I make a phone call?”

“No...Not at all! I’ll give you some privacy.” She hurried out of the room.

Jessica punched in a number and waited worriedly.

“What’s up?” his voice asked anxiously.

“Why do you immediately think something’s wrong?” she questioned innocently.

“Because you left to talk to one of my dad’s clients and now you’re calling me.”

She sighed. “I don’t feel very well and I just took some codeine. I can’t drive home.”

“What’s the address?”

She opened her diary and read it for him.

“I’ll be right there.”

Laura Reynolds appeared once again before her, “Would you like a cup of coffee? Or more water?”

“Coffee would be wonderful,” Jessica replied gratefully, following her into the kitchen. “My husband is on his way...I’m so sorry about this.”

“Please don’t apologize.” She quickly poured coffee into two mugs and walked back into the living room. They sat silently for a few seconds before Laura looked at her wryly, “Is this the reason you doubt your father in law’s partners will argue with you about taking this for free?”

Jessica laughed, “Maybe....its part of the reason. I really shouldn’t say anything bad about them. They’re letting me continue to help them work when most people think I should be at home in bed. I really work at a studio…a music studio but I help my father in law’s firm a lot…gives me something to do.”

“And your husband?”

“He’s my boss,” Jessica told her, waiting for the reaction.

“Oh! Well you’ve got him wrapped around your finger then.”

“Just don’t tell him that,” she replied with a laugh.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Laura assured her.

There was a knock at the door and Laura stood up to open it. Expecting Nick, Jessica stood up to greet him, but was met instead with the arrival of a young girl with large green eyes and wavy brown hair.

“Ash, this is Jessica. Jessica, Ashleigh.”

Jessica crouched down to the small girl’s level, “Hi Ashleigh.”

Large eyes stared back at her and in a small voice she replied, “Hi.”

Jessica sat back down. She was struck by another emotion rushing through her body. Sadness. Never would she experience the joy of having a child. The doctors had been frank about the effect of chemotherapy on her fertility and with one ovary already removed; chances of future pregnancy were slim. She and Nick had both been bitterly disappointed, but she hadn’t fully realized the loss until now.

Before she could say anything more, another knock on the door, this time much more urgent, echoed through the house and Nick soon rushed in.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Her words felt like lies. She wasn’t fine. She never would be fine. This cancer had destroyed all her dreams. Dreams she had never realized were there. His expression was still worried, his eyes telling her that she had scared the hell out of him. Jessica turned to Laura Reynolds and the small girl. “Thanks Laura. I’ll be in touch.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself, you hear?”

“I will.”

Nick gave her a look which said ‘yeah right’ and took her arm, supporting her as they walked down to his car.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Nick, I’m fine. I get these pains all the time. The difference today was that I wasn’t home when it happened.”

They were fighting through city traffic when Jessica gasped, “My car!”

Nick glanced at her, he had obviously considered it already, “We can pick it up tomorrow.”

She considered the neighborhood she had left it in, “If its still there.”

He turned left at the traffic lights and Jessica frowned, “Why are you taking me home?”

“Because you need to rest.”

“I feel good now, Nick.”

“Until the pain killers wear off and then you’ll be in pain again.”

“So? Work isn’t going to change that. I need to ask your father to file this lawsuit this afternoon.”

“I’ll do it for you.”

She sighed loudly. He was staring stubbornly ahead, his jaw set and shoulders square. The only way she’d succeed in getting him to turn around would be to grab the steering wheel, which had its disadvantages.

She sighed again. “Fine. I’ll email it to you.”

“Fine.”

***

Jessica worked non-stop on her only case for the following two weeks. She talked regularly to the Reynolds and the more she learned about them, the more she knew John had to win this case.

She sat tiredly in the conference room on a Thursday afternoon. She was working to the case here so Nick could keep close eye on her. Everybody except Lea was out of the studio and the unusual quiet was met with gratitude. The door opened quietly and Lea poked her head in, “Jessica?” She had become much more human towards Jessica and Nick since the bad news and Jessica was beginning to miss her usual mischievous personality.

“Yeah?”

“A Joanne Healey is here to see you?”

“Who?”

“She says it’s about the young girl...Ashleigh?”

“Well show her in.”

A well dressed, older woman walked into the conference room and gave Jessica a warm smile, “Mrs. Lachey?”

“Yes. How can I help you?” Jessica indicated to a seat.

“My name is Joanne Healey. I went to Mr. Lachey’s firm and he told me you were here today. Ashleigh Robins is my granddaughter.”

Jessica stared at her openmouthed, “How long have you known this?”

“Two days.”

“But-”

The woman raised a hand, “Please...let me explain. Susan, my daughter, is a heroin addict.” Sadness crept into her voice and her bright green eyes grew dark with grief. “We knew she was using when she was a teenager but nothing we did...we tried rehab, therapy, drug tests and punishment...they all failed. And one day, we lost her. She just disappeared. We searched and searched for her, but the police wouldn’t help and we were left with private investigators who couldn’t find a trace. That was ten years ago. Three days ago she reappeared. Some friends brought her to our house and basically dumped her on the doorstep. We of course took her to hospital and they’re treating her now. She’s not...she’s got Hepatitis. She told me two days ago that she had a baby. I must admit, I didn’t believe her at first...but she was insistent. She kept yelling that she wanted to see Ashleigh. I called the department of family services and they told me that she was in fact telling the truth.”  She paused as though still unable to believe what she had heard.

Jessica swallowed. “I’m sorry about your daughter.”

The mother reacted with fury, “She ruined our family! We spent years focusing on her, trying to get her to stop taking drugs, while she willingly stole from all of us to pay for them. Then we spent years looking for her. My youngest daughter has never recovered and my son attempted suicide last year. I will never forgive her for what she has done.” Her face crumpled, “But she is my daughter. I can’t turn my back on her. She is dying; she needs her family around her.”

“You have been told that I am currently representing Ashleigh’s foster parents to help them adopt her?”

“Yes that is what I am here about. I have been told that Susan requested custody of Ashleigh about six months ago. The authorities always prefer children to be with their real family and they encouraged her to find a job and a place to live. She is no longer able to provide for a child....” she trailed off.

Jessica felt her heart plummet, “Are you requesting custody?”

Mrs. Healey reacted with shock, “No! No...I have enough problems in my family without introducing another child into the mess,” she said sadly. “I have convinced Susan to grant custody to the foster parents.”

Jessica sucked in a breath, floored by the selflessness of this stranger.

“I have two conditions,” she continued. “The first is that Susan see her regularly...at least until...until she gets really bad.”

“And the second?”

“That I get visitation rights.”

Jessica smiled, “I’m sure that can be arranged. And will Susan allow the foster parents to adopt Ashleigh?”

“Susan has agreed to adoption. I have been assured that my granddaughter is happy where she is living.”

“She is.”

“Well I don’t want to disrupt that.”

Jessica shook her head, amazed at the turn of events. “I should call them with the good news.”

“When can Susan see Ashleigh?”

“I’ll call now and let you know. Can I get you a coffee?”

“No thanks.”

Jessica left the room, positively glowing. Lea eyed her, “Good news?”

“The best.”

***

Jessica walked into the hospital with Nick, this time feeling none of the usual unease that went with her hospital visits. The Reynolds were following solemnly behind her, still unable to believe the turn of events. They had carefully explained the situation to the young girl and she walked now between her parents, their support and love obvious.

They were met by Mrs. Healey, an excited gleam in her eye. She halted in her tracks at the sight of the young girl but was soon rushed forwards, “You must be Laura!” she warmly shook her hand. “And David? Nice to meet you.” She finally turned to Ashleigh, “Hi Ashleigh.”

“Hi.”

The group stood awkwardly. “Susan is very excited about meeting you.” She walked ahead.

They followed with trepidation.

As soon as they walked into the comfortable hospital room a cry shattered the peace, “Oh my god! Is that her?”

Ashleigh shrunk back behind Laura. Laura pulled her out and led her forward. “Hi you must be Susan,” she greeted her. “I’m Laura. And here’s Ashleigh.”

“Hi baby,” Susan cried.

The small girl stared back silently and finally reached out a hand, offering her teddy bear to Susan. More tears erupted, this time from everybody in the room. Susan turned to Laura, “Thank you for looking after my baby.”

Laura nodded, unable to talk, tears pouring down her face. Finally she turned to Jessica who was still standing in the doorway. Thank you, she mouthed silently.

Jessica leaned back against Nick feeling him wrap his arms around her. His nose soon tickled her neck as he kissed it tenderly and his voice whispered into her ear. “You did it.” Jessica smiled through her happy tears and watched the scene before her. For the first time in months she was truly happy.

***

They returned home later that night after dinner at their favorite restaurant. Jessica kicked off her shoes and collapsed into bed, watching tiredly as Nick stripped down to his boxers. He disappeared to brush his teeth and returned with her toothbrush and an empty glass. While she brushed he undressed her slowly and handed her her PJs. She handed back the toothbrush and dressed. The routine had become normal since she had returned to work and pursuant to their agreement, he made no comment on her condition. Her side of the deal was that she would take no more of John’s cases to help with until the doctor gave his permission. But she was certain she would find a loophole in the deal.

Jessica lay back onto her pillows, lost in thought. Nick switched off the light and leaned over to kiss her.

“’Night,” he whispered.

“Night.” Her hand reached out for his and finding it, her fingers became entwined around his. “Nick?”

“Yeah?”

She rolled over so that her head was resting on his chest, ear pressed against his heart. “I want to have children.”

He rolled onto his side so that he was facing her, his breath warm on her cheek, “I do too.” He whispered hoarsely.

“The doctor said...” her tears wet her cheeks as the grief poured out. She had been holding her emotions inside of her for weeks, but seeing the Reynolds’s happiness that day had been a trigger. No longer could she lie about her shattered dreams. “It’s not fair.”

“There is still a chance...” he whispered hopefully.

“I was thinking...maybe we could adopt...” her voice was uncertain. She knew Nick had his heart set on children of their own. Carrying on their genes. But in her heart she knew that it would never happen.

He considered, remembering back to earlier in the evening when Jessica’s tough exterior crumbled away as she chatted with Ashleigh. He would give anything to give her a child. “After seeing Ashleigh today...it would be wonderful to give a home to a child like that.”

He felt Jessica’s head nod. “I just want to be a mom.”

He kissed her tenderly, “You will be.”

***

Winter slowly gave way to spring and with the new life in the world came another trip to the hospital. Jessica packed her overnight bag hurriedly, madly tidying up the apartment as she did so. Nick had hardly been home in the past few days as his big production with their new artist began. As she dashed around the apartment, mind focused on being ready by the time Nick came home during his lunch break. She had suggested taking a cab, but he had knocked down her suggestion as though insane. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he had yelled from his study as he packed his briefcase. She was so intent on getting ready; she had no time to consider the tests that would be done that day.

Nick finally arrived home, picked up her bag and rushed down to the car. She followed, slightly less sedately and fell exhausted into the car seat. Within minutes they were sitting in a waiting room, Nick checking his watch anxiously as they waited for the doctor.

“Go,” Jessica urged. “You’ll be late.”

He looked at his watch again and sighed, “Okay. I’ll be back tonight. Love you.”

“Love you.”

***

Déjà vu struck Jessica as she and Nick waited for the doctor the next morning. It seemed uncannily like the moment he had told them of the cancer’s metastasis, and she felt her stomach churn at the prospect of more bad news. For the first time in almost a year, she felt good. It would be just like fate to strike her now when she was feeling the most optimistic. The moment of truth arrived (well the doctor did anyway) and she gripped Nick’s hand for support and felt his return squeeze.

“I have something you might want to see,” the doctor told said cheerfully.

They looked at him, speechless.

He grinned and sat on the seat next to the bed. He handed them a sheet of paper and they looked at the list of names and accompanying numbers. "The biopsy we took from your lymph node and these blood test results show that the cancer is regressing.”

Silence.

“There is no medical explanation for it. But this is incredible news.”

He continued to wait for a reaction. Jessica turned to Nick, the tears in his eyes mirroring the ones in her own. She felt light headed, her body numb with disbelief.

“She’s going to be okay?” Nick finally asked.

“We can’t say that,” the doctor said hurriedly. “But this is the best news we could have ever hoped for. I want to do more regular tests, but remission doesn’t look too far away.”

“Remission?”

The doctor nodded, “The cancer stops growing. It’s still there, but you could stay in remission for the rest of your life. It’s the best outcome we can hope for until someone finds a cure for cancer.”

Jessica found herself engulfed in an enormous hug. “Everything is going to be okay,” Nick mumbled.

***

Four years later...

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Katie, happy birthday to you” people crowded around the table to watch the girl attempt to blow out the three candles.

Jessica cheered with the others as one candle was snuffed by the breath from the little girl. Nick, wearing a ridiculous party hat took endless photos of the group and Jessica watched him with a huge grin. Drew took the camera from him and pushed him in the direction of his daughter. “Jessica you too,” Drew called, urging her to get closer. He snapped two photos of the happy trio. It was the first birthday they had shared with their adopted child and both were elated by the experience.

Jessica turned to Nick, content, “We did it.”

He hugged her, lips pressed happily against hers, “We did.”

THE END