"When I show up at homecoming with no date (worst case scenario) this is what I'm going to say: 'yeah my boyfriend in idaho couldn't come cause he's busy picking potatoes before the whole crop gets frosted over, and this other guy that i was going to bring that's from my synagogue ate a little too many chili peppers yesterday on a dare and now has to spend 3 days in the hospital due to an exploded kidney - but dont worry, i'll bring one of those guys to prom with me.' "
Student: You're killing me Mr. C
Mr. C: No, you're killing me. If I'm killing you, its in self defense. No jury in the world would convict.
Other student: You go on saying things like that, and "Bob" here is going to go home and overflow his toilet again.
Lessons I've learned in life:
1. Your secrets will get around if you tell everybody you know.
2. When you gain a little weight, don't joke around and say you're pregnant, some people might believe you.
3. Don't be afraid to be the only one laughing, even if it is at yourself.
4. Don't fall in love with a suit or uniform (it can be an especially ugly situation when there's nobody in it).
5. Don't try to act our your love life using vegetables, it won't work, and if it does, that's just sad
[email protected]
Sleeping
Dancing
Eating (oh baby)
Running (or at least trying to)
Acting like a headless chicken (sometimes I do it because I love doing it, other times its just how I act)
Talking
Laughing
(keep in mind, these are things I like doing separately, not all at once)
YOU! (which is probably true, unless you are one of the seventh or eighth graders who go around taking pictures of me; in which case, I do not even like you and get OFFmy website).