Little Known Facts About the Ex-Box

Everybody these days is getting hypnotized by a certain machine: X-Box. It is evil. It is owned by Microsoft, a company that will eventually take over the world if we don't do something about them. Kratillionaire Bill Gates has put in hidden dangers and gadgets onto and inside the Box itself. What did he put in that we missed? Read on to find out.

-If you touch the yellow part of an Ex-Box, you can get second degree burns(which gives you stuff like pain and blisters) if it's on. My RL best friend's cousin got burned by an Ex-Box.*

-An Ex-Box can burn CDs and discs if hot enough. That should definetly scare you away from buying one right there.

-He planned onk making Halo the ultimate takeover the world tool.

-Bill Gates wants to buy a super rim for his glasses($408.99) after he gets enough money from Ex-Box profits($.10 per day)

-The Ex-Box can be used for cooking due to it's intense heat.

-It's been known to cause houses on fire* and has been known to make Smokey one unhappy bear.

-You can get hypnotized by an X-Box CD if you look at it long enough.

-Microsoft hopes to make 1 trillion dollars from Ex-Box profits.

-They want everyone in the world to buy an Ex-Box.

-They want to make the "LinuxBox" look like an Ex-Box ripoff in their marketing campaign.

-Speaking of marketing campaigns, they are throwing 1/128ths of Gate's money($999,212,170.45) into theirs so that they can impress the world.

-Speaking of Gates, he wants to make the Ex-Box so "grand" that people will finally elect him as ruler of the world.

-The Ex-Box is about one thing and one thing only: Halo.

-From this point on, i'm calling the Ex-Box "EB".

-The EB has very few good games, and they did it on purpose to scare you pesky kids.

-The EB has extra weight, which is actually whale blubber inside the system that helps it run.

-The EB crashed at E3 2001 becuause it was using a computer type system.*

-The EB has gigantic controllers.* You'll need to somehow expand your hands in order to use it. The Empire State Building is the easier to hold than the EB controller.

-The EB is just another VCR\computer crossover in disquise.

-The EB can attract raccoons if taken on a campout at night.

-The EB is just a ripoff of the Atari.

-The last time most EB gamers played video games was when the Atari was out.

-The EB is taken on campouts so that they can start a fire, like a match and flint can.

-The EB is actually a cooking item and a VG system in one.

-Microsoft tried to buy out Nintendo many times using an EB.

-The EB modem is accessable to hackers and the employees of Microsoft via password.

-(Relation to the previous one)This means that it's possible that your EB can be hacked.

-Your EB can also be virused as a result.

-This Ex-Box has preformed an illegal operation and will be shut down screens.

-Microsoft is telling Canadians that their maple leaf is down here with their EB so that they can get them to buy EB, with the leaf of course. (This IS a joke. Please don't hurt me Canadians.)

-Microsoft's DVD system only works with 3 DVDs-Halo the Movie, Microtakeover, and the Weather Channer: The Movie.

-And finally...





-An EB can kill you, explode, and cause radiation if you do all of the above(faints).*

Note: With the exception of the ones with an asteric(*) beside them, this is all a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. If you go around and spread Ex-Box and Bill Gates rumors around after you read this, oh well. It's not my fault.