�What kind of spaceship was it?� the clerk asked.

�Toy,� Jake answered.

�It would take more than the danger of sudden death to make square dancing okay. A lot more.�

Jake considered. �It tastes like fish, actually. Like a mild fish. Maybe like swordfish. It could use some salt.�

Marco cocked an eyebrow at me. �Now he�s a food expert?�

<I give the commands on this ship!>

<Not to my people.>

�Good grief, the two of you off alone on this mission?� Jake muttered. �Instead of Dumb and Dumber, it�s Crazy and Crazier.�

�I�m not the weetch.� I pointed at Rachel. �Those two are the witches...�

<You know, you could just call me �The Jake Formerly known as Prince.� >

�Jake, we were at the mall,� Cassie said. �Some girl shoved Rachel and-�

�Oh, man, what did you do, Rachel?� Jake asked. �You have to learn to retrain your-�

<Maybe we�ll lose, maybe we�ll win,> I said. <But if we win and someday it�s all over, you�d better hope there are still plenty of Cassies in the world. You better hope that not everyone has decided it�s okay to do whatever it takes to win.>

�My basement won�t do this,� I muttered to Jake.

�Have you ever tried?�

�I dance like a lumberjack,� Jake said.

�Like a lumberjack who�s just chopped off one of his own legs,� Marco interjected helpfully. �Like a one-legged lumberjack whose remaining leg is a tree stump and-�

<So the rest? Including those Japanese flyers? They were sunk. By humans, in human wars. Not by the Nartec. The weapons they used on us? Human weapons. We want to hate them for what they do? Maybe we should stop helping them do it.>

�...And when I say don�t do anything, that would include squeezing French knights with our trunks till they pop open like an overboiled hot dog.�

�...from the point where Edelman said �maple and ginger oatmeal,� I should have known this was going to end stupidly...Battles that involve oatmeal are just never going to end up being historic, you know?...Gettysburg? No major oatmeal involvement. The Battle of Midway? Neither side used oatmeal. Desert Storm? No oatmeal...Battle of Bunker Hill. No oatmeal used by the British, no oatmeal used by the Americans...D-Day? No mention of oatmeal.�

�Even I�m heard of Zone Ninety-one,� Jake said. �And, unlike Marco, I�m a fairly normal human being.�

�I figured I�d try the subtle approach,� I said. �But of course, that�s just me. It hadn�t occurred to me that what I should do is morph into an elephant and STOMP PEOPLE INTO THE MUD!�

�Smile, Jake. Big smile!� Rachel said. �We are happy while dancing. Happy!� She was so totally enjoying torturing me.

"Some day, all horses will be blue."

Dad let me choose the radio station and told me for only the ten millionth time how much better music was �in his day.�

<Once we have our Controller, we follow him in. No problem,> Jake said. Then he added grimly, <Oh yeah, no problem. A little picnic in the Yeerk pool. I�m sure they�ll all buy that.>