Quotes...on a more humorous level
I'd give my left hand to be ambidextrous
Life is short, play hard.
If I don't already know it, it don't need to be learned..
Don't sweat the small stuff, it's ALL small stuff..
The only easy day, was yesterday..
Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again..
The best things in life are free..
If it isn't in writing...it never happened..
Never look back.......except when changing lanes..
I'm always right, unless I'm wrong..
Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Indecision is the key to flexibility..
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks..
The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it is a "do-it-yourself" thing..
Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it..
This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it..
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on..
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets..
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious..
By the time you make ends meet, someone moves the ends..
One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays..
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame..
All things being equal, fat people use more soap..
Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart..
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody..
Suicide is the most sincere form of self -criticism..
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense..
Freinds come and go, but enemies accumulate..
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler..
Anything worth fighting for, is worth fighting dirty for..
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before..
.Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world..
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication..
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant..
Sometimes too much to drink is not enough..
Nostalgia, isn't what it used to be..
Happiness is merely the remission of pain..
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation..
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you are interrupting..
Do unto others as though you were the others..
An apology is a good way to have the last word..
The only exercise some people get, is jumping to conclusions..
...and some men bashing jokes.....
Tell him you are not his type....you have a pulse.
Don't even try to imagine ever changing a man, unless he is in diapers..
So many men....so many reasons to not ever sleep with any of them..
If they put a man on the moon...they should be able to put them all there..
More women should date younger men. Might as well, they never mature anyway.
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A man's idea of a serious commitment is usually, "Oh, alright, I'll stay the night!".
If a man asks you what kind of books you are interested in..tell him, "checkbooks"..
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener..
If you want a commited man, look in a mental hospital.
Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable..
Sadly, all men are created equal. .
Never do housework. No man has ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless..
What do you do if your man walks out on you.....? You shut the door..
Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone..
Never sleep with a man who names his penis..
Women don't make fools of men. Most are the do-it-yourself types..
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it..
If he asks you if you are faking it...tell him no, you are just practicing..
When he asks you if he is your first...tell him, "You may be, you look a little familiar.".