HI everyone thought I would let you in on what I read Pslams 85-94 but I continued till 95

also i had read Hebrews chapter 11

Genesis 6-9

The book of Esther is facinating and i'll re read it sinking in it a little more

Ecclesiastes chapter 3

1 Samuel 17-20

well that my reading today.....

Just some thoughts that I have been going through my head 

heres some ifs for people and if ou can anser please post them

Ok: Believe me this is nothing to do with what I have read today. however

If you had a winning lotto ticket and it was taken and cashed in.. However you knew approx when it was bought and where, what would you do?

I say if that person is that greedy and wicked to go through my belongings oh he got power alright. But I feel I have the power within me to overcome wickedness like that. I don't think I would ever do that to someone matter of fact I know in my DARKEST days I was asked to watch over instant tickets that were winners and I always gave them back. Yes I could have taken them. But didn't.

And heres a big one say if your family owned land lets say not actually own it however in a will it was described as given to the courts and to the cemetary and library but there was a clause that Nobody  be (exsumed)  Spelling wrong and the horse fence post NOT be taken down it should go back to the family.. well yrs ago they did both and it was taken as high as to federal court for back taxes? rent ect.... what would you do? The town is Gary Indiana. Now on this one.. This is different this was in a Will.. What would you do?

Also I do have a question.. I have not lived or seen my husband as he has left in 2000 or 2001 6 months after we were married. I was left in a town that to even walk to the store was approx 5 miles and it wasn't a store it was a gas station and the place had a bar a dollor store and ice cream shop while my son sat there and watched him leave also. He went to N. Carolina and I found out through the grapevine (sister) that he had done wrong there also and was not welcomed back. Especially on the beaches. Don't really know why. But he had come after my father died to talk and I felt what I had heard from the vine and others and his promises to my son and when I first met him he needed a place to stay because he was sleeping in parking lots that I excepted him in. And I thought also when he had come back that it was a repeat and at that time also we could not handle that.. And besides I had moved on. I just couldn't get divorced because I just didn't know where he was. And I moved on to a person that I seriously loved. Even though we fought and argued. And I made mistakes sure yes I did.. I had done drugs which sickens me besides my panic disorder and my Bipoler which alot of people joke around about. And those street drugs can influence your thinking.... however yes I had sex with some other cohabitated with other men. And it makes me sick. And if that person that I did love and still do cannot forgive me than what would be the use? ANd then you do have neighbors that seek revenge or the other and completely try to ruin your life and provoke  differant things, and things are put in your drink that shouldn't be put there... just to provoke more of an attitude within you. Knowing what you will do..  then to putting things on your plate for cohersian knowing the mental state your in. I just wish I could get the dang divorce. And the person I met that I knew... kinda funny we went to go catfishing and the batteries went out one night and I accidently broke his pole putting it back in the car... IT WAS TOO DARK.  And he didn't mind even though it was his fav. fishing pole. And he loves fishing.. I still adore that night.  It just showed that he really had a heart. And didn't care about little stupid mistakes. And I wish most of all it could be at least back to a little point of that in my life again. And with the accident I had a specific motocross I lost alot of my eyesight in my left eye. and the 2nd hole in my ear was put there along with knee surgery. through all that bad. I just wish someone real and the one I will and can love will come my way. And if the person I am talking about cannot forgive me. Than what else? Just need a straight honest answer. Instead of wickedness.   ALso people putting you all over the internet in other states naked and comming into your home taping you. And to the point to where your home is lasered right down to your moves.. is sick.. That is not justice... God does know what I have done and he does know I have lived in this. And I do believe he knows that I have seriously regretted everything and its nothing about catching up. It's about doing things right and trying to do your best on what can be done now and in the future because you cannot change what you did. Also things can go haywire and even if you have been drinking some of the things were really NOT your fault at all. Its your past they look at, and want to judge you. And its not in the now cause they don't care what your doing in the now they care about the past, and they don't see both sides.. only one and if they look in the past at some people.. they could see why that person grew up the way they did. I know That I am trying.. And personal what happens in my home or where I go is my Business. If people come up to me and talk about someone else, there making it my Business. And somehow Im caught in between. I really don't want to know anything unless it's good.  Then I have tried to contact lawyers and to no avail.. everyone knows my lawyers.  And I have my trouble with social security keeping me from getting whats actually mine.. I know my mother knows I cannot handle a full time job.  And then to all this charged with 2 domestic violences in which both I did not touch and underline that first no matter with a hand or a object. I know I got pretty mad and got the blunt end of it being slapped several times. However I forgave both of them. This is just Plain CRAZY. I forgave act. alot of people but most of all I forgave myself. Just trying to do good. And my x's I do believe are alot to be apart of this too. I forgive em. This has truly bugged me too that the best people that have walked into my life even someone to hang on to  real flowers have been thrown.. and those  people are real. crap..    what do you all think I should do? I do know who I care about..what do you think?

Or Love is patient love and kind;

Love is not jealous or boastful;

It is not rude.

Love does not insist on it's own way

It is not irritable or resentful;

It does not rejoice at wrong

But rejoice in the right.

Love bears all things

Hopes all things

Endures all things.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13