I find that I try to relate things that I don’t understand very well to things that I can wrap my mind around a bit more. I do that a lot with relationship ‘stuff’. However, it seems to me that this hasn’t been a very helpful tool in understanding relationships at all.



I usually GET movies. There’s not to much confusion there. Movies do a pretty shitty job of imitating reality though. Or maybe it’s just that reality would make a pretty shitty movie. Things are rarely as neat and tidy as they are in movies. It’s difficult to differentiate between the heroes and the villains, and I’m never sure if I’m living in a comedy or a tragedy or a drama. I am pretty sure that I am not living in a romantic comedy, a.k.a. a ‘chick flick’.

Despite the fact that people use the term ‘the one that got away’ in both sport fishing and in dating, sport fishing and dating aren’t very similar at all. It’s easy to measure out ‘the one that got away’ when fishing by using hand gestures. How do you measure out ‘one that got away’ in relationships? Do you measure it out by quantity of hugs or in movie nights? I’ve also found that even if you don’t catch a fish during a fishing trip that a cooler full of beer and some Doritos seem to make everything alright. It’s very rare that beer and snack foods can fix a relationship, but Lord knows that I’ve tried that avenue more than once.



So how do I understand relationships? I could start with what they AREN’T like. Here’s a list…

Relationships aren't like a game of blackjack.

Relationships aren't like buying a Porshe.

Relationships aren't like being good at running track or snowboarding--it's not an innate talent you're blessed with

Relationships aren’t like bar tabs –you can’t go around the morning after, closing everything you left open.

Relationships aren't like buying fruit at the market

Relationships aren't like socks. You can't change them every other day and say you love all of them

Relationships aren't like pizza ("even when it's bad, it's pretty good")

And most importantly…

relationships aren't like you see in them pornographic movies you're always watching

I know this because google told me so.

So… in my search for understanding relationships, I think I’ve found that knowing what relationships aren’t like is more plausible than knowing what the ARE like… and because of that, understanding what they AREN’T like is potentially more helpful.

I wish relationships were like cake... man I loooove cake.