Chapter 11

        After the incident, Nick came over to my house every single day. We would hang out in my room and watch movies all night; then he'd leave when it got late. We never had sex in my room mainly because there was always someone home. Although, we did find ways to mess around.
        One night, Nick and I were up in my room watching a movie. We were snuggled underneath my quilt while eating popcorn. I had my head on his shoulder and I was enjoying my favorite part of Cruel Intentions. I was so into the movie that I hadn't noticed Nick rubbing his hand up my leg. He slipped his hand inside of my panties and began rubbing his finger against my clit. I jumped at his touch.
        "Nick!" I said. "I'm trying to watch the movie!"
        Nick laughed and began kissing me on my neck. "You've seen this movie a million time. Besides, I know you're wet for me," he said as he continued to rub his finger over my clit.
        I gasped and tried to control myself. Once he stuck his two fingers inside of me, I had no choice but to give in. I grabbed the remote, pushed stop, and hit the power button for the TV. I tossed the remote onto the floor and pulled my panties off for easier access. We began kissing and I made my way down to the zipper of his jeans. I pulled his zipper and wrapped my hand around his hard dick. Nick moaned softly as I ran my hand up and down his penis. I muffled our moans by pressing my lips up against his. I didn't want to risk getting caught by someone in the house. Nick began fingering me with a fast and steady pace. I could barely breathe because it was so good. I stroked h faster and he began to get loud. Without any hesitation, I grabbed the stereo remote by my bed and hit the power button. A laugh escaped my lips when I realized my copy of Black and Blue was playing.
        "Oh, God!" Nick said with a laugh. "Turn that off."
        I laughed and changed the CD. We were relieved to hear Sisquo singing. Nick and I continued with what we doing as the music played loud enough to drown us out.
        "Ooh," Nick moaned.
        "Mmm," I murmured.
        Nick used his free hand to play with my clit. Hot damn! That boy really knew how to push my buttons. I could feel my walls closing in tight. I closed my eyes and let ecstasy take over me.
        "Ooh, yes, Nick! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" I shouted as I came onto Nick's fingers.
        He licked the cum off his fingers and smiled. "Delicious," he said seductively.
        I smiled and forced him to lay down. I stared at his dick, firmly gripped it, and began to lick it like it was a popsicle. Nick moaned wildly as I sucked on his dick.
        "Mmm, yeah! Suck my dick!" he said in a low voice.
        I moved faster and used my other hand to caress his balls. I licked my tongue down his shaft and noticed something different on him. I stared close and then look back up at him.
        "You shaved your balls?" I said, trying not to laugh.
        "I was trying something new. Does it look bad?" 
        I smiled and rubbed my hands over his sac. "No, it's kinda sexy actually."
        "Really?"
        "Really," I said then went back to blowing him.
        With my mouth over his dick, my hand jerking him off, and my other hand gripping his balls,_he was about to lose his mind. It was hard to keep him still, but once I added pressure with my teeth against his dick, he knew better than to move.         Nick gripped onto my quilt and breathed loudly as I made his orgasm make its appearance.
        "Oh, fuck!" he cried as a river of cum flowed into my mouth.    
        I licked the last of the cum off his dick and sat up. Nick was staring up at the ceiling, catching his breath. I smiled and laid next to him.
        "You keep getting better and better at that," he said.
        I smiled wider then kissed him. "I know."
        Nick put his arms around me and kissed me on my neck. (He was always the king of affection.) I turned down my stero and pulled the quilt over us.
        "So, what do you want to do?"
        "Well, we could finish watching the movie," Nick said softly.
        "Okay," I said as I turned my stereo off and looked around for my remote. "I don't know what happened to the remote. I threw it on the floor earlier."
        Nick laughed. "Nevermind the movie. Why don't we go out?"
        "Okay, let me get ready," I said as I got out of bed.
        Nick watched me as I changed my shirt and put my panties back on with my jeans. I watched him in the mirror as I brushed my hair.
        "What are you staring at, Carter?"
        He smiled at me. "Your beautiful self."
        I smiled and shook my head. "Yeah, okay. Get out of that so we can go."
        "All right," Nick said as he got out of bed.
        I laughed hysterically when I saw him with his pants still unzipped and his dick hanging out.
        "Psst, your balls are showing," I whispered with a snicker.
        Nick looked down at himself and nodded. "I know," he said. "Lets go out."
I cracked up even harder. "Nick, put your Jimmy back in your pants before I'm forced to yank it off."
        "Ouch!" Nick said and put it back in his pants and zipped them up.
        "Better," I said as I grabbed my purse. "Lets go."
        Nick opened the door for me and we went downstairs.
        "Lets rock and roll!" Nick joked.
        I snickered under my breath. "Yee haw!" I said, then we left.


Chapter 12

        I never imagined my relationship with Nick would ever grow to be almost nonsexual. The fire and excitement of our relationship had seemed to vanish by the time we'd been together for nearly a year. The love and affection was still there, but the sex was practically nonexistent. We'd have sex once a week, if I was lucky. I never doubted Nick's love for me, but I sometimes wondered if he was bored with me sexually. For months I worried about him breaking up with, but I soon realized how much he really loved me.
        By this time, I had moved out of my dad's house and went to live with Nick. I don't know if that is why my relationship with him had grown so comfortable, but I'm sure it didn't help the situation any. He was spending more time with his friends than he did with me. I was determined to save my relationship, but I wasn't sure how.
        I had gone out shopping one day and came home to find Nick laying on the couch, watching TV. I was surprised to see him.
        "Wow, you're home. I figured you'd be out with your friends," I said as I put my bags down.
        "I was supposed to be, but I'm not feeling too good," he replied.
        I walked over to the couch. "Aw, my poor baby. What's wrong?"
        "I don't know. I felt fine this morning, but now I feel nauseous," he said as he sat up.
        I sat down next to him. "Did you eat anything unusual today?"
        Nick shook his head. "No."
        "What did you eat?"
        Nick thought a moment. "Some Honey Bunches of Oats, a sandwich and some cookies. That's it."
        "Are you sure the milk wasn't expired?"
        "Yeah, it was the one you bought last night. The sandwich was the same thing. I know it wasn't the cookies."
        I examined Nick's complexion. He did look a little pale. "Did you try taking some Pepto Bismal?"
        "Yeah, so far it's not working," he said as he rubbed his stomach. "Ugh, I feel like puking."
        I put my arms around Nick and leaned back. "Come here," I said as he leaned closer to me. I kissed his cheek. "I could go to the store and get you some ginger ale. Do you want me to?"
        "No, not right now. I'm comfortable in your arms."
        I smiled and ran my fingers through his tousled hair. "What's on TV? Anything good?"
        "I think Survivor is on."
        I rolled my eyes. "Lets try HBO," I said as I turned the channel. "Ooh! The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is on! Wanna watch it? It just started."
        "Sure," Nick said softly.
        "Are you okay?" I asked in concern.
        "No," he said as he sat up. "I'll be back. I think I'm gonna puke," he said as he got up and went to the bathroom. 
        Ten minutes later, Nick came out of the bathroom looking worse than he did before. He sat down on the couch and laid his head on my lap.
        "Are you feeling okay?" I asked.
        "Ugh, not really. I puked my guts up."
        I rubbed my hand on his arm. "Poor baby. Do you feel better?"
        "Mmm mmm," Nick said as he shut his eyes. "I'll probably puke again later. I feel it."
        "Nick, are you sure you don't want some ginger ale?"
        "Maybe later. Ugh, my head hurts."
        I placed my hand on his forehead. "You feel a little feverish," I said as I moved from under him. "Come on, you're getting into bed."
        "Marcy, if I move, I'll vomit."
        "Nick, you need to rest. I'll come with you upstairs."
        Nick sighed and sat up. "All right," he said as he followed me upstairs.
I tucked him into bed and set a trash can beside him. By the time I had pulled the blankets over him, placed a cool cloth on his forehead, and turned off the light, he was fast asleep. I took advantage of the time and went to the store. I came back with the bottle of ginger ale and poured some into a glass. I went upstairs and Nick was laying on his side awake.
        I smiled and sat next to him. "How are you feeling?"
        "Thanks for the bucket," was his answer.
        "Drink this," I said as I handed him the glass.
        Nick sat up and sipped the ginger ale. I sat next to him and kissed him on his cheek. I felt sorry for him. He looked so miserable. My poor Nicky.
        I stayed up with Nick that entire night. Finally, he was able to go to sleep and I went to sleep with him. What I wasn't expecting was for the table to turned when I woke up in the morning.
        I opened my eyes and the first thing I did was run to the bathroom. After giving my praise to the porcelain god, I went back to bed. My stomach was taking on a life of its own. I definitely understood why Nick felt so miserable the night before. I swallowed hard and tried to go back to sleep. I felt Nick roll over and put his arms around me. He kissed me on my cheek and I opened my eyes.
        "Good morning," he said sweetly.
        "Good morning. How are you feeling?"
        "One hundred and ten percent better."
        "Good, at least one of us is healthy," I said weakly.
        "Uh oh, I made you sick didn't I?"
        I nodded. "I just threw up."
        "Aw, I feel really bad now."
        "Don't, it's not your fault."
        "Well, you took care of me, so now it's my turn to take care of you."
        I smiled and laid close to Nick. "Thank you, sweetie. Can you get me some ginger ale? My stomach is killing me."
        "Of course," he said as he got out of bed and went downstairs.
        Nick took care of me that entire day. He helped me in any way he possibly could. That meant a lot to me.
        Later on that night, I was feeling better so we laid in bed and watched movies on cable. We had just finished watching Air Force One and I took it as the perfect time to talk to him.
        "Nick?"
        "Yes?"
        "Do you still love me?" I asked while the ending credits were running.
        "What?"
        "You heard me."
        "Of course I still love you. Why would you ask me something like that?"
        "Because we never have sex anymore."
        "We have sex. What are you talking about?"
        "Not as much as we used to."
        Nick smiled then kissed me. "Baby, I still love you. I just don't find sex as necessary as I used to. I find other ways to show my love. Like taking care of you when you're sick."
        "So, you're not bored with me?"
        Nick chuckled. "Of course not. I could never get bored with you."
        I smiled and kissed him. "Thank you."
        "You're welcome. Guess what's coming on next?"
        "What?"
        "Braveheart!"
        "No!!!" I joked. "Someone shoot me now."
        Nick laughed and held me close. "You're so stupid, but I love you anyway."
        I smiled big and snuggled under the blankets with Nick. We watched movies all night, and eventually...we drifted off to sleep.


Chapter 13

        A week had passed and I was still feeling sick. I couldn't figure it out. I would have days where I felt really good and then other days I'd spend the whole day vomiting. Nick was beginning to get worried about me. I was worried for myself. I promised Nick I would go to a doctor soon.
        On one of my good days, I went shopping with Melissa. I was helping her pick out some jeans at the Gap when I decided to try on some too. I picked up my usual size five and I noticed they were a little snug. I stepped out of the dressing room in shock.
        "Oh my God!" I said as I looked myself in the three way mirror.
        "What's wrong?"
        "I can't fit into these jeans. I've always worn a five. What's up with this? Look at them, I can barely zip them up."
        "Girl, don't sweat it. You know how funny jeans can be. Try a seven. I'll go get you one," Melissa said as she went to get another pair.
        I tried on the seven and they were still too tight. The size nine fit me perfectly. I was extremely upset.
        "I can't believe I went up two pant sizes!" I said while we ate lunch.
        "Marcy, would you stop freaking out. You're probably going through a phase. It's no big deal."
        "Easy for you to say. You're a fucking size three! I hate you right now," I pouted.
        Melissa rolled her eyes and laughed. "You've lost it," she said as she pulled out a bottle of Tylenol. "Ugh! I fucking hate cramps. They're a bitch."
        "Cramps?" I said as I dropped my Big Mac on my tray. "Oh my God!"
        "What? What's wrong?"
        "When was my last period?" I said, racking my brain for the answer. "Oh my God, Melissa! I haven't had my period in two months!"
        Her eyes grew big. "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
        "I don't know," I stuttered. "What am I gonna do?"
        "Okay, calm down. Lets finish eating and then we'll go get a test from CVS."
        "Okay," I said softly.
        We got a home pregnancy test from CVS and went to Melissa's place. I was scared to death. If I was pregnant, what would I tell Nick? The timer from her microwave went off and I so did not want to look.
        "Are you going to look at it or not, Marcy?" Melissa asked.
        "I can't. I'm scared."
        Melissa grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my chair. "We'll look together, come on."
        I followed Melissa to the bathroom and stared down at the test.
        "Well?" she said.
        I started crying. "I'm pregnant."
        Melissa came over to me and hugged me. "Marcy, don't cry. It's gonna be okay."
        "What am I gonna tell Nick? He's gonna flip out."
        Melissa let me out of the bathroom and sat me down on the couch. "You have to tell him. Nick loves you, he'll understand. It is his baby, right?" I started crying even harder. "Marcy?"
        "I don't know whose baby it is!" I shouted.
        Melissa stared at me in shock. "What?! You slept with someone else?"
        "Yes! Oh my God, I have to go home now," I said as I got up and walked toward the door.
        "Marcy, what are you gonna do?"
        "Go home and figure out what is best. I'll call you," I said as I left and ran to my car.
        I drove home with tears streaming down my face. What was I going to tell Nick? I was totally flipping out. I got home and stormed into the house. Nick was sitting on the couch, brushing Mikey. He saw that I was crying and went over to me.
        "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked.
        I couldn't even look at him. I was so ashamed of myself. The only thing I could think to do was lie.
        "Nothing, I just feel really sick and I need to go to sleep."
        "Do you want me to get you something?"
        "No, I'm fine."
        "Well, how about I lay down with you?"
        I shook my head and walked away from him. "No, I just feel like being alone," I said as I walked up the stairs.
        "Okay, I'll be down here if you need me," he called.
I barely heard what he had said. I just wanted to lie in bed and pretend that nothing had happened. When I got into the bedroom, I plopped down on the bed and cried. I had no idea what I was going to do. I knew I had to figure out something. But what...that was the question.


Chapter 14

        A week had gone by since I'd take the pregnancy test. I even went to the doctor and it was official...I was pregnant. I hadn't mentioned anything to Nick about it. I was planning on telling him, but I was waiting for the right time.
        That night, Nick and I went out to dinner and a movie. After the movie, we went home. We were in the car and Nick wanted a piece of gum, so he dug in my purse for one. I had completely forgotten about the pregnancy test being in there. He pulled it out and looked over at me.
        "Why is there a pregnancy test in your purse?"
        I was stuck. I didn't know what to tell him. So, I did what came to mind...I lied.
        "It's not mine, it's Melissa's."
        "Why would you have Melissa's used pregnancy test in your purse?"
        Okay, so it wasn't a good lie. "Because...because." I was caught.
        "Marcy, why are you lying to me?"
        "Nick, I just--"
        "I knew my suspicions were right. Why didn't you tell me?"
        "Can we talk about this when we get home?"
        "Fine," Nick mumbled as he continued driving.
        When we got home, Nick and I sat in the kitchen. I made us some hot chocolate, it was going to be a long night.
        "So, why didn't you tell me? Did you think I was going to be mad?"
        "No, I just didn't know how to tell you."
        "Try, 'Nick, I'm pregnant.' How about that?" he said, angered.
        "It's not that easy."
        "What is it that you're hiding from me?"
        I was trapped. This was it...I had to tell him the truth.
        "Nick, I didn't tell you because may not be your baby," I said, afraid to look at him.
        Nick stared at me emotionless. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. 
        "You mean, you slept with someone else?" I nodded. Nick drew in a deep breath. "When?"
        "About two months ago."
        "I see...with who?"
        I knew that was going to be his next question. I didn't want to tell him, but I had to.
        "It was--"
        "How could fucking do this to me?"
        "I'm sorry," I mumbled.
        "I don't even fucking care who it is anymore. It's the fact that you did it is what upsets me." He glared at me from across the table. "But why don't you go ahead and tell me. Who did you fuck?"
        I bowed my head down in shame. "It was..." Ugh! I couldn't do it.
        "Who was it? Tell me who it fucking was right now!" Nick demanded.
        "It was AJ all right!" I covered in my mouth in shock. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that.
        Nick's face grew white. I wanted to reach over and hug him so tight. I wished that none of this had ever happened.
        "Nick...say something," I said. I reached for his hand, but he jerked it away.
        "Get out of my house," he said softly.
        "What?"
        "You heard what I said." His voice was so calm that it was freaking me out.
        "Where the hell am I supposed to go? After a year of being together, you just wanna throw me out onto the streets?"
        "After a year of being together, you decide to fuck my best friend?"
        "Nick, it just--"
        "I loved you, Marcy!"
        "I love you too, baby," I said while crying.
        "Apparently not as much as I loved you."
        "Why do you keep saying loved, as in past tense?"
        "Because I can't possibly be in love with someone who is going to be unfaithful. Do you want to know why I planned this evening for us?"
        "Why?"
        "Because I was going to give you this," he said as he slid a small ring box across the table.
        I opened the box and found a beautiful platinum ring with a diamond. I knew right away what it was.
        "I wanted to marry you, Marcy. But now...I don't care what happens to that ring," he said as he got up.
        "Where are you going?"
        "Out for a beer."
        "Don't you think that we need to talk about this?"
        "I've said all I need to say to you. When I get back, you better be gone," he said as he put his jacket on and left.
        I couldn't believe that it was over between me and Nick. Not only was I without a lover, but my baby could be without a father. Never in my life did I picture myself in that situation, but it left me feeling helpless.
        That night, I packed up most of my stuff and called up Melissa. She let me stay at her place until I could figure out what I was going to do. I didn't know where I was headed...but I would find out soon.


Chapter 15

        Three months had passed and I didn't hear from Nick. He had gone away on tour and my only contact with him was through my father. I had told him what had happened and he was trying to get Nick to talk to me. He didn't want his only grandchild to be without a father. I was still living with Melissa and she was helping me to baby stuff. I was lucky to have such a good friend.
        Since I was five months pregnant, I had to quit my job at Old Navy. I still continued to go to school and I stayed as busy as I could. Melissa would go with me to my Lamaze classes and take me wherever I needed to go. Even though I kept busy, I couldn't keep my mind off of Nick. No matter how hard I tried, he was still there. I missed him tremendously, and I wanted to be with him.
        I was listening to music one afternoon when my cell phone rang. I was surprised since no one really calls my cell, but I answered it anyway.
        "Hello?"
        "Hi," said a familiar voice.
        My heart skipped a beat. "Nick?"
        He chuckled lightly. "Surprised to hear from me again, huh?"
        "Oh my gosh, yeah! How are you?"
        "I'm doing good. How about you?"
        "Pregnant," I joked.
        Nick laughed. "I know. Listen, I'm in town for the week. I was thinking we could get together if you weren't busy. Get something to eat or whatever."
        I nearly jumped out of my seat. "Yeah, sure! How about today?" I asked, trying not to sound so desperate.
        "Today is good. Where to you want to meet up?"
        "What about Friday's?"
        "Perfect," he said. "I'll meet you in thirty minutes."
        "Okay, bye," I said then hung up.
        I was so nervous. I had no idea what to wear, what to say, or how to act. The only thing I was sure of was to not get my hopes up too high. I would let Nick make the moves.
        When I arrived at the restaurant, I found Nick right away. He was waiting for me outside. He smiled at me when he saw me walking toward him. He was looking as gorgeous as ever. His hair was styled a little differently, but he looked the same as he did when I last saw him. I felt sloppy standing next to him in my Winnie the Pooh overalls and white tennis shoes.
        "Hey!" he said as he gave me a hug.
        "Hi, it's good to see you again."
        "You too. You look great."
        I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Yeah, okay. I'm fat."
        Nick laughed and opened the door for me. "Lets go eat."
        Dinner with Nick was great. We laughed and talked like we were old friends. It was nice to be with him again. I hadn't been so happy since he left.
        After dinner, we met up at the beach. We walked on the boardwalk and talked about everything. He bought me and ice cream scoop with sprinkles. We were walking down the boardwalk when I felt the baby kick.
        "Ooh!" I said as I rubbed the left side of my stomach.
        "What's wrong?"
        "The baby's kicking," I said with a smile.
        Nick's face was filled with astonishment. "Can I feel?"
        "Sure," I said as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach.
        The baby kicked again and Nick laughed. "Wow, that is so neat. Does it hurt?"
        "Not always. Sometimes when I'm sleeping it does. But usually, it's painless."
        "That's so amazing," Nick said with a smile.
        "She's yours, you know?"
        Nick looked at me. "She? I have a daughter?"
        "Yup."
        Nick smiled widely. "That is the best news I've heard in a long time," he said. His face grew sad.
        "Nick, what's wrong?"
        He linked his fingers with mine. "I miss you, you know?"
        "I know. I miss you too."
        "I've been thinking a lot about you ever since we broke up."
        "I've thought about you too...a lot," I admitted.
        "I just don't know what to do. I've been stressing myself about everything."
        I gave Nick a hug. "Don't stress yourself out. It's not worth it."
        Nick smiled and put his hand back on my stomach. "You're probably right."
        "Of course I am," I teased.
        He laughed softly then looked me in the eyes. I had forgotten how beautiful his green eyes were. Behind his glasses, they glistened like emeralds. I was breathless as my eyes traced his lips. Oh, God, I wanted to kiss him so badly. He must've been reading my mind because the next thing I knew, he leaned closer to me and kissed me full on the lips. I link my arms around his neck and tilted my head to the left. Nick parted my lips with his tongue and we began frenching. I was in the complete heaven. It was everything that I had been dreaming about.
        The kiss lasted for about five minutes then he let go. We stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't know what to say to him. I felt like everything had already been said in the kiss. Nick narrowed his eyes down to the ground and stepped away from me. I had an internal feeling that he didn't feel the same way I did.
        "I have to go," Nick said softly. "I promised my mom I'd go visit with her today. I'll call you tomorrow or something."
        I couldn't believe that he wasn't going to mention anything about the kiss. I was dumbfounded.
        "Okay," I replied.
        "Bye," Nick said as he left.
        "Bye," I said softly as I watched him walk away from me.
        The whole way home, I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. I felt happy, but yet angry at the same time. I was angry with him because he kissed me and left, leaving me stranded. I was also angry at myself for allowing myself to believe that there was a chance for Nick and I to get back together. I clenched my teeth in anger and parked my car in the parking lot of Melissa's apartment. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. I put on my pajamas and went to bed. I just wanted to pretend that the day had never happened. I didn't need Nick...all I needed was myself.