The Page of Wonderings
Have you
ever just let your mind wonder. I mean ever just let it go where ever it wanted
to be?
If we really wanted to make things work in life would it not make
sence
That realsing our minds of all termoil and stress would be the best
way to do so?
Or would it not be wiser to seek the truth out and let the
truths of everything in life be knowen?
but even with the truths of life
being knowen to all would that change the course of human nature?
Or would
it just prolong the desending spiral of what we do to ourselves and our
inviroment?
What is it in humans that causes us to be the most
Distructive and in some ways least evolved of all mamals.
Is it because of
the distructiveness of our nature that we find a need in violence to solove
every and all problems?
I may be human, but at times I wish I weren't.
Nonsence.....Definatly on of my favorite songs from the musical of
"Alice in
Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass". "Nonsence. Nonsence. What
ever would we
do without it? All this world is Nonsence, and there's nothing
we care to do about it."
It strikes me as though those words ring
all to true and clear to me with life
everyday. So many silly nonsencical
things happen. Yet, No body ever seems to
notice them. People just seem to
turn blind eyes at everything around them these days.
I like
watching for the nonsence I find in everyday life. It makes me laugh,
But
why is it other people don't see it as funny? Why do they ignor it? Is the
nonsence and silliness really such a bad thing that they feel the need to
dissaprove of it?
Do you like the nonsence you see in life?
I was just contemplating What would happen if my computer could
really talk to
me. I bet it would have a lot to say. Things like, "dev, why
did you just
missspell you? Dev thats a fragmented sentacne you know,
perhaps it could be
better writen thusly? Dev stop pounding your head on my
key board please, it
won't make me prosses any faster. Dev your falling a
sleep go to bed." I
always wonder if my computer could talk would it be able
to tell me what was
wrong when programs fail and tell me how to fix it. Or
would it keep such
things a sercret as it's crashing it's programs on
purpose cause it hates me?
huuummmm.....I wonder, If computers were
to have feelings, what type of
feelings my computer would have towards me
and my family. I think it would
hate me as i am constenly on it always
playing around and doing things to it.
*grins* Yes I shall rule the
world with my leagions of mutated super
computers, complete with emotions
and consiouneses......ummmm why do i hear
snivling back there? What do you
mean you don't want to take over the
world?????I didn't ask if you wanted
to? Wait a bleeping mintue I created you,
you'll do what i say! Oh.....uh
huh.................uh....huh........Ok ok ok
you win......jeese....can't do
any type of super vilainery these days!!!!
Stupid computers! any body got an
assprin?
I've always wonderd what would it be like to live in a city at
the bottom of the ocean? To see all those beautifull fish and creatures swimming
around as you walk through a park shelterd within a man made air bubble. how
peacefull that would feel. like even though your on earth your living intirely
in another world all together. you look out your bedroom window and instead of
seeing tree's, a street and cars rolling by, you see a garden of sea weed,
kelp,coral reefs, and a school of grogiously colored angle fish swim by. closly
followed by a gaint sea turtle. you look up at the right hand corner of you
window and you see a lovely sixteen legged star fish there, colored brightly in
green, blue, turquise, and yellow. I think it would be so very neat to live like
that.
A butterfly lives for one year....some live for two. What would
you do with your life if you only lived one year? Would you travel and try and
learn and see all you possibly could, Or would you stay in one spot and just
enjoy a life of peace and tranquiltity? OR would it not be best to spend it
helping others in need, making their days in thier short lives happier?
All in all i couldn't fathom what i would do if my life was only a year
or two long.....I enjoy my life to much for it to be so short, yet in
away.....it is still so short.
I'm a quater of the way through my life
and i feel as if i haven't even yet begun to live it. I've dreamt of so much,
But nothing has happend. I'm still where i was 26 years ago. I can't help but
wonder, What would happen if i just changed all of that. If one day i just left
everything behind and ran away. What would i do? where would i go? How would I
exisit? When would i return? Why would I return?
The only answer i could
thing of was, I don't know. It's not much of an answer but the questions are so
big. I could go and do so many things. I just don't know which things I want to
do most. I want to settle down and have a family, But I want to perform and
travel. I want to go to school, but I want to have my own bisuness.
I
want all these things and always have, Yet.....So much time has past and I'm
still just fighting to get my foot out of that door. I don't know whats keeping
me from doing it. maybe I'm scared, or just not ment to ever do such things. I
wish I knew, i wish i understood somethings about myself better then i do.
Sometimes I really wonder about the conceptions we have of life and it's
realities and illusions. Is it trully So possible for a person to so in
gross themselves into some thing so deeply that it ceases to be illusion
and becomes reality? Yes, But the BAise of beliefe in that altenate reality can
be easily broken can it not? Or would that only sevre to break the person within
that alterd reality in it's stead?
By now I'm sure you currious who I am and why I am writing about such things. Frankly I don't
really know why i think or write about such odd off the wall things. yet these thoughts are with me
often and now I have found a wonderus place to release them unto. Who am I. Well what ever you
haven't gleaned from my lil Bio. I am A female from California, and a rather odd one at that :)
Now back to more of my odd thoughts
As a personal opion I think Valentines Day is a cruel joke. I have a signifigant other. I love
him dearly, but he lives five hours from me. I have Always been alone on Valentines
day and often forgotten by it. Yet i have found that I am not the only one.
Valentines Day is day for celibrating love. Yet I feel that this has been narrowed
down to only love that is shared by signifigant others these days. Yet it
would be usefull to remind people that there are other ways to celibrate Vanetines day.
You don't need a GF or BF to do so. As a matter of fact you only need yourself.
Just look back and think of everyone and thing in your life. Choose out
that and those who make you happiest. This is a day of love and that love
dose not have to be showen through the giving of flowers or chocolates.
If alone show your love by doing what you love most by yourself. wether
id be reading your favorite book, or working on your latest work of art.
How do you fight agaist feeling lonly and left out on valentines day with seeing
all those happy and together couples runing about. Remeber you family and
friends as they would love to see and spend time with you. Giving your grandmother,
or mother flowers and a handmade card will always bring a kiss and tears from them.
Giving your brother or father a hug will always bring a smile to their face.
Not everything is ruled by the sterotypes of the world today. Valentines Day like
all holidays has become to commercial and arificial. It's time to make a
change and find why it trully is that we give a day to saint valentines.
It's not becuase if cupid and his always miss firing arrows. Nor is it the
exchanging of gifts or kisses. thats all just our modren day matrialist love.
There is something more. It just has to be remeberd.
I have been pondering the likly hood of what would happen should the worlds
axis stoped and reversed it's dirrection. How do you think that would effect the
climates and current standing in the world. What would it do to the weather?
Just something that randomly popped into my mind just now.
Some days Are as about easy to bare and swallow down as vinegar.
I'm so lonely right now I could scream for hours on end and no one would hear
or care. Well except for my four cats, and they'd just look at me funny.
I think it's true what they say about for every person on this planet
there is some born and ment just for them. The problem is finding and
meeting that person. Then you have to figure out how you can tell if this is that person.
How do you figure out who the right person is for you? Dose it just happen that you
accidently find this person and see everything you've ever wanted to
have and hold in them? Or do you meet that person and just carefully
shape them into what you feel is the right type of person they should be?
Is it right to try and chage a person to how you think they should be? Or
is that forcing them to be what you think is ideal and making them unhappy or missrable?
Is it better to be alone and drifting or to be accepting of a half love that seems
fated in it's end? How do you stem the tides that drift in and pull you
apart from the other in your life? Can not be done to swim to the others
aid and kep them from loosing faith in you and drownding in their own missery?
I know It seems like I have a million questions that just never seem to end, but
Life is full of questions. It just we tend never to ask them.
I feel so lost and alone right now, I just want to cry......
AN Ideal life? What is an Ideal life?
One thing I do know, An ideal life is only ideal to the person that created it.
Very seldom if there an Ideal life that fits to people.
How can you create an ideal life with a compimazing nature to it?
WHat is that, Well it's an Ideal life that will also compimaze to alter and fit
around the ideal life of you loved one and or children.
How to you build an Ideal life?
I'd love to know.....I havn't found mine yet. Have you?
In all honesty i've been wondering as to how many times a day some has to
look at themselve just to rmind themselve of who the hell the are?
Come on honestly! If we lived in a world of wirror where every sequance of live was
controld in a non ending web of disign. What would the purpose be of being free and
having choice over what happens and is done to you? if everything is already decided
then what is to stop a person from just giving up and letting everything pass them by?
What is the need and insiration in human nature that causes us to try and strive for
a new lead on life?
I'm very currious on the one please comment.
Feel free to drop me some C&C on this in my C&C guest book
on the main page.