That Monopoly Game Made Me Rethink Our Relationship

Then came that Monopoly game last night.

I'm sure Eddie and Laura were just as astonished as I was
over the change that seemed to come over you when the fake money was
first handed out. You suddenly looked all sly and oily, like you were a used
car salesman. And from the first trade, I knew what a conniving weasel you
really were.

The way you broke the trust Eddie and Laura had slowly and carefully worked
to build for the past several months in an attempt to acquire Marvin Gardens
sickened me. And your gleeful little dance when you finished building up
hotels on the dark green spaces was not only obnoxious, but nauseating.

And to think that, in all the months we've been dating, I had never come to
realize what a selfish, spiteful bastard you could be. I had only seen the
kindness, the thoughtful gifts, the loving words, the way you remembered my
birthday, our six month anniversary, the concert tickets. God, I was so
blind!

Oh sure, you tried to play it off, said that "it was only a game." As if you
could somehow act differently while playing Monopoly than you do in
everyday life. Please! Pull the other one! I'm just glad I played you now,
so that I could learn what you're really like, as opposed to down the
road, when we'd been blissfully married for several years.

Ladies, take it from me. Before you get too attached to that man of yours,
make sure to play him at some boardgame, such as Monopoly. It's amazing
how many assholes lurk under warm, loving exteriors.