Fin
The door opens, "Freak On A Leash" by Korn is blasting as Pesti walks out with a bright red color to his skin, no green paint to be seen nor any gray or gold, wearing a towel...
He walks over to the mirror, yanking the towel off {of course the camera zooms in on his chest, kids watch this show} and begins to pull clothes on, still jamming out to Korn...
A while later,
He is sitting on the couch reading a issue of "Raw" and humming along to "The Real Slim Shady" while sippin' on a bottle of beer...
There is a knock at the door. He stands turning the radio down slightly, and opens it...
Oh.. What the HELL do you want?
Dr. Abstinence walks in, slightly limping from the beating at the hands of Rancid and Asteroid, and has a seat at the table...
Well, I see you have a... Match against Batman, that wretched sniveling {beep}, and Its my opinion that HELPING you would be the lesser of two evils... So i have a plan to get him back for all of his pranks on me and mine, and to get my beloved Mrs. C back...Pesti is leaned against the wall, still sippin' on his beer...
Out...
What?
OUT!! I dont need your help... Narrator, i no-sell this WHOLE scene...The camera fades slightly and suddenly Pesti is once again sitting on the couch drinking and reading... There is a knock at the door...
Go AWAY Doc, i dont need yer help...In The Hall
Dr. A walks away from the door wondering how he knew...
Back in the room,
Pesti is now sitting on the edge of the couch pulling on his boots...
Learned THAT one from The Great White Scandal... Ha Ha Ha... Time to go.. Gotta get to that damn bridge... God i hate heights...
He steps out into the sun for the first time in days...
I hate Spring...He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cell-phone...
Yes.. Connect me to Vallhalla...
Yes i can wait..After a few minutes...
Yeah, Whats up dude... Not Much My Friend, How Mayest I Help Thee? Well Man, its kinda bright and sunny out here.. can ya like buzz me up a thunder cloud? No Problem My Friend... Canst Thou Wait A Moment? I Hath A Beep...
Yes, Are Thou There?
Yeah, im still here.. Who was that? Ahh, My Agent.. Said Paramount Wont Offer Me My Price, But Nevermind That... Here Goes Your Cloud...Thanks Man.. I appreciate it.. ill give ya a holler next time in around the CGDUB... See Thou Later, Pestilence
Pesti hangs up his phone and climbs into his VW bug...
He starts up the car as it begins to rain...
And is heard saying as he drives away to his match...
Its nice to be friends with THOR...
On the Road To Wherever The Hell This Match is Taking Place,
The camera zooms in on Pesti, driving about 70 down the highway in the pouring rain, jamming out again to "Bohemian Raphsody" by Queen...
The camera zooms in again as Pesti slows and stops at the edge of the aforementioned bridge where the match is...
He turns off the car, and steps out into the light rain...
Standing in the center of the bridge is Kronus, the Ref, and A entire crew to check the Bungee Rigging...
Pesti walks up, very careful NOT to go near the edge, and stops before Kronus...
Hi there, nice day for a match eh? Haha... But anyway.. Whats the idea for this.. You KNOW i am afraid of Heights...Well, Its MY choice... And THIS was the first thing that came to mind... Just go do your BEST...Kronus walks off down the bridge, and the ref steps up, he looks slightly familiar, but in his raincoat is difficult to tell...
He pats down Pesti and then leads him over to the Crew...
Do I have to do this.. Can't I just forfeit?
The Ref never speaks, he only leads him over to the harness...
A few minutes later,
Pesti is checking out the rigging, and keeping an eye out for his opponent who hasnt shown yet...
Pesti finishes checking out the rig, and walks back down to his car, retrieving his JVC Kaboom Box. He walks back up and puts in a Cd with some of his favorite songs on it.. and sits it on the edge of the rail, turning it on. One of the Crew walks up ...
Yeah.. Thats just what we need out here in this rain.. MUSIC..Hey there, whats up? Just wanting to say "Good Luck" to ya and i hope that you win... The man just winks at him, and walks back over to work on the rigging some more...
What the hell was that about?
Suddenly Pesti jerks his head to the sky, where there is a high pitched whine of a jet engine...
There is a funny shaped VTOL jet making a landing on the other end of the bridge...
It sits down, and BATMAN hops out, clad in his usual get up...
Showoff...BATMAN walks up to Kronus on the bridge and they have a few words, before Kronus walks on off the bridge and leaves...
A few moments later
Batman walks up to the Rig and checks a few things. Pesti walks over...
We gonna get this damn show on the road or not.. its WET out here... Are you sure its SAFE to do this in the RAIN.. I mean... Its like... YUCK out here...As Pesti says that, the rain starts anew...
One of the Crew speaks up...
Don' you worry bout a ting.. its gon' be OK! Jus' go do YOUR job, an' we do ours K?
Pesti shuts his whining as Batman speaks up...
Well, seeing as how I dont trust these cretins...The Ref steps up...
Quiet Batman, YOU will use the SAME rigging as Pesti here... NO butts about it...
The ref steps back and motions to the Crew to hook the two combatants up...
About Ten Minutes Later
Both the men are hooked up to the Bungee Cord by ONE ankle. Final Checks are being made as the Ref comes over again...
He reaches toward Batman's utility belt, and yanks it off..
No CHEATING by foreign objects Batman... Pesti carries none, since he is only wearing a spandex suit.. Time for this to begin boys...
Pesti and Batman are standing in the middle of said square...
Someone goes to Pesti's JVC Kaboom Box and switches it over to "Don't Worry Be Happy" which is Pesti's entrance music, and then after a moment flips on Batman's ...
This match is for the CRF World Title, and for the CRF Intercontinental Title... The WINNER shall recieve the WORLD title and the LOSER shall recieve the IC title, or retain the said titles... Both of you know what to do...
At the yell of the ref both men tear into one another...
The Match has Just Began,
Both men are beating one another senseless with lefts and rights to the face. Pesti grabs hold of Batman and tries to toss him over but Batman just drops to the ground and rolls, causing Pesti to lose his balance and crack his chin on the ground...
"It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies begins to play as Pesti slowly gets to his feet, only to be dropped back to his knees by a roundhouse left by Batman...
Pesti rolls with the punch, and lands flat on his back. He kicks up at Batman, catching him below the belt and lifting him from the ground to land on the edge of the bridge...
Pesti scrambles to his feet and tries for a baseball slide into Batman. Batman comes to his knees and lifts himself above the sliding Pesti...
Pesti reaches up adn grabs ahold of Batman, and both men are now hanging off the edge of the bridge...
Not caring about the match, both of them climb back onto the bridge and rest for a moment, until Batman gets to his feet and begins to stomp on Pesti...
Pesti grabs his feet and holds on, as Batman tries to break him foot from Pestilence's grip... Pesti bites him on the ankle and releases him...
EWWW!! You taste BAD dude... Thats what you get for biting me you nasty little...OOPH!!
Pesti tackles him to the ground and begins raining blows to his head...
Down On The Other End Of The Bridge,
Down at Batman's vehicle, two men are hard at work trying to steal the hubcaps off of the tires {it is a jet but hell, hes rich} and suddenly a voice is heard...
Please step away from the vehicle, At the count of FIVE you will be disentigrated...Both of the men ignore the warning...
Five.... Four.... Three.... Two.... Too LATE....Both of the men look up as a bright flash vaporises them...
Back at the Match,
Batman now has the advantage over Pesti, and is smashing his head into the edge of the Bridge. Pesti looks as if he is about to lose consiousness...
Batman steps back from the limp form and takes up some of the slack from his bungee cord...
He wraps it around Pesti's neck and begins to choke him...
Suddenly "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi begins to play and Batman is knocked to the ground by a tackle from Dr. A, Pesti unwraps himself to see Dr. A sitting on Batmans chest delivering blow after blow to him... sending him toward unconsiousness...
Pesti grabs Doc and pulls him off Batman....
I thought i told you earlier that i didnt need any help? now GO!
Pesti give Doc a good shove and picks batman up by the ears...
He walks him toward the edge...
Then stops...
He looks over...
His knees begin to tremble...
He lets go of Batman, who falls to the ground, bleeding...
Pesti steps back from the edge...
Batman, regaining his footing, stands up and looks at the sheer terror on Pesti's face...
He looks over the edge, clearly NOT bothered by the height...
And kicks pesti in the groin...
Back at the Match,
Pesti has just been kicked in the jimmies by Batman. He falls to his knees, and is grabbed by the tights and dragged toward the edge once again...
Pesti repays him in kind.
He locks on the feared Testicular Claw Hold. Batmans' eye roll up in his head and he collapses on top of Pesti...
From the crowd comes an audible..
Pesti slowly gets to his feet and walks over to his Kaboom Box, changes CD's to Blink 182, and suddenly has his feet pulled out from beneath him...
He hits the ground and flips over to see Batman pulling on his cord...
Pesti grabs the cord and jerks it from his hands, stands back up and grabs the Kaboom Box... He walks over to Batman, and Busts him over the head. Batman flops back down. Pesti sits the machine down and turns it on...
Just like a Swatch, Takes a licking Keeps on Ticking...Pesti looks up just in time to see Rancid walk up to Batman and help him to his feet...
Why me? Cant ANYONE help ME!!Pesti stands up and walks over to Rancid, taps him on the shoulder and proceeds to knock his lights out...
Rancid hits the ground with a sick wet thud...
It suddenly get alot darker out, and a thick wet rain begins to pour, and most of the Crew takes leave of the bridge for safer venues...
Pesti is left on the bridge with an Unconsious Rancid and Batman, who is back to his knees...
Thunder claps and it begins to rain harder, obscuring everyones vision. Pesti is suddenly taken to the ground by Tyger stryke, the new face in the CRF. Tyger stands up and drags Pesti over to the edge...
Drops him, and helps Batman to his feet...
Do it Man, Get this over with...Batman nods to him and walks over to Pesti, who is passed out from pure exhaustion. He grabs him up by his tights and gets ready to toss him over, when suddenly he is grabbed by two sets of hands...
He is being held by the arms by Charlie_Deeznuts and White-pac, A third man as of yet not seen, helps Pesti to his feet and brings him over infront of Batman...
Nice to see you fellas, let him go... I can DO this.. On my own.. Sure bro.. DATS why you was about to learn to fly... Let him go Deez, Pesti here can do it...They release him, and the third man, Barb Wire Bastahd waves goodbye to Pesti, as the three take their leave...
Batman and Pesti are alone once again on the bridge, in the pouring rain, panting for breath...
Damn.. Damn... This is MORE work that I was looking for today.. Phew...
Yeah.. But.. GOtta DO this.. For the.. Fans..Pesti just nods to him and shows how well he can move, by kicking him straight in the chin, lifting him off the ground.
He lands on his arse... and looks up just in time to be knocked off the bridge by a dropkick from Pestilence.
Pestilence, having too much momentum, flies off the bridge also..
The ref walks up, and peers over the edge to see who is taken out first..
Down Hanging From The Bridge,
Batman is falling, holding his composure, while Pesti is flailing about like a fish out of water. Both men hit the bottom of their cords and bounce back up...
Pesti grabs on to his cord on his way up, while Batman bounces down once again. When Batman comes back up, Pesti reaches out snagging him, and begins to beat him in the head...
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! {beeeeeeeeeeep}
YOU CRETIN LET GO OF ME!!Batman reaches for his trusty utility belt, forgetting that the REF took it..
Pesti grins at him, slowly reaching for his boot. He pulls out a small pocket knife, flicks it open, and begins to saw on Batmans Cord...
Suddenly from ABOVE, Batmans cord comes loose and he drops like rock the twenty feet into the river where he is rescued by the a member of the Crew. Which in turn leaves pesti hanging by himself...
He looks up and sees the Ref waving to him...
Pesti begins the long climb UP his own rope, and as he nears the top he sees the Ref, sawing on HIS cord...
Nice to see that you won... Have a pleasant swim...The cord snaps and like those Wiley Coyote cartoons, Pesti just hangs in space for a moment.. then begins to fall...
Triple C stands up from where he was, and turns to see Pesti's CREW standing behind him...
Ya know... We thought you was gon' help our bro up.. But we see what you done...I think its time that he learned to fly himself...Nah man, just bust a cap up in his arse...Before any caps get busted, the rest of the Elite walk up, and seeing they are outnumbered they split...
The Elite walks away talking as the scene shifts to the river...
Down At The River,
Pestilence has just been fished out of the river, into the same boat as Batman...
He wakes up and stares around for a moment...
What the hell happened? Where the HELL am i? And WHY am I wet?The camera fades out on Pestilence and cuts back to the CRF arena...
Back at the Arena
We now join JR and Joey Styles immediatly after the World Title Bout...
Joey, that was ONE more match to go down in the books... but i still dont get what THE ELITE have against Pesti...Well, its simple JR, he is now the WORLD title holder, they want his BELT!!That may be so Joey, but that was awfully risky to cut Pesti loose like that... He could have been KILLED!!He wasnt though was he? NOO... It did look like he was a bit out of place but hell he ALWAYS looks like that.. HAHA!!
We will just have to see what happens folks.. Ah.. We now have some comments from the two combatants.. they have them back on the bridge... We go there now live..Why do you always cut me o...Back On The Bridge,
We now see Pestilence sitting on a crate beside his car, Batman is nowhere to be seen, his aircraft is gone also...
Missy McSpunk is there to interview the NEW champ...
Excuse me Pestilence, can i get a few words with you...Pesti looks up at her with a strange expression...
Sure thing Miss.. Miss.. McSpunk... Yeah.. Miss McSpunk. What can i do ya for???
How does it feel to be the NEW CRF world champ? Pesti gets a far away look in his eye...
Ya konw, the LAST time i was a WORLD champ was back in my INDY days... back in the IRWF! Those were the days... I wasnt crazy then, I got like this after Mighty Mouse beat the hell out of me...
No, ya know, i should THANK him.. That fall cleared my head... Hell im not even scared of HEIGHTS anymore... He should be thanked.. I think I will buy them ALL a beer when i get back to the arena...
What do you think your friend BDR would have thought of your winning the title?
The pain is evident in Pesti's eyes as he answers...
No more questions.. but he would have been proud i like to think... I have to go...Pesti stands up and goes on to the bridge to retrieve his JVC Kaboom Box, tosses it into his car and slowly pulls away from the bridge...
The camera shifts back to Missy...
This has been a Hard won victory for the new champ.. I just hope that he can keep a positive out look... This is Missy McSpunk reporting for the CRF...THe camera shifts to follow Pesti down the highway, and "Potters Field" can be heard as the camera fades to black..