Self Injury - trying to cope with life...
Self injury, also referred to as self-harm, self-inflicted violence, self mutilation, or cutting, can take many forms. "Cutters" aren't the only ones who self harm. Many people burn, pick, scratch, bite, bruise, interfere with wounds healing, or find other ways to cause themselves bodily harm as a way of coping with overwhelming emotions.
Self-harm is typically NOT a suicide attempt. Many people confuse the two, (especially when someone is cutting on their arms or wrists) and I think that might be why so many people react so awkwardly to self-harm. It scares them. They don't know what to do with someone who is hurting him/herself, so they freak out.
For me, self injury was a way to deal with the depression that was killing me inside. If I could put the hurt on my body physically, then it hurt me less inside. I never knew anyone else in the world did what I did. I felt like a freak and a crazy person with my shameful secret, but it was the only thing I knew to make the psyochological pain go away. At least for a little while. In essence, it was the only coping method I knew how to employ. I didn't want to die, but I couldn't live with the pain I was in. My response was to injure my body.
It is estimated that around 1000 per 100,000, or 1%, of Americans self-injure. Yet many self injurers think, like I did, that they are alone in what they do. They hide it from their friends, family, even those who think they know them best. Chances are, you know someone right now who uses self-harm as a coping method, but hides it from you and everyone else.
One of the biggest reasons for this is they feel ashamed. Let me say right now, there is NO SHAME to self harm. It is a coping method people turn to when they don't have any other way to deal with the psychological distress they are in. The individual reasons for self harming are as varied as the methods and individuals themselves. Whatever the reason, and disturbing as it may be to others, that person is finding a temporary solution to an unmanageable problem through their self injurous behaviour.
I say temporary, because self harm is not a permanent solution. That's why people do it over and over again, because the bad feelings keep on coming back. It doesn't deal with the root of the problem. It also can have serious physical reprecussions, depending on the methods and/or severity of the self harm. In that respect, it is not a very healthy nor effective way of dealing with life. It is, however, an attempt to cope when no other ways are readily available.
The good news is that there IS help for self harm. If you or someone you know self injures, you are NOT alone, and it IS possible to learn other ways to deal with the same things that cause you or this person to self injure. For some people it's a case of needing the right medication and/or some good counseling. For others, getting out of an unhealthy situation(physical/verbal/mental abuse, etc.), or a combination of these. Seeing a therapist about my self harm was probably about the scariest thing I ever did. I was afraid of how she would react, what would happen next, and a multitude of other things that kept running through my head. But I went, and it was okay. It actually helped me a lot, although I can't say I'm out of the woods yet. But I would highly recommend seeking help to anyone who is thinking about it but maybe too scared to take the leap. And if the counselor your end up with is a butthead who doesn't seem to be helping you, find someone else. Mental health therapy is just like any other profession - there's good ones and bad ones, and each one has his/her own strenghts and weaknesses. You're not bound to stick with one therapist any more than you're obligated to stay with a hairdresser or cleaning-service that you hate. Take control of your own recovery process and find someone who can really help you.
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If you want to read more about this largely misunderstood behaviour that silently touches the lives of so many people, below are some links to excellent resources on the web. If you do engage in self harm, be warned that some sites might contain material that temporarily increases your urge to self harm, or "triggers" you. Please make sure that you are safe. You are the only person who can control your emotions and resonses. If you feel like you need to stop reading and go do something else for a while, please do that. Do not let someone else's experiences, insights, or comments trigger you into hurting yourself. Be safe, and take care of yourself, because you are the only one who can.
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