Title: You Always Hurt The One You Love
Author: crazy_girl_mary
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: They’re all Joss’ and probably some other people but hey I’m a rebel so I play if I want damn it!
Summary: Angel dies, but Buffy isn’t ready to lose him yet. There’s only one way to stop his death, to go back in the past and kill his murderer, but that also means encountering her worst enemy, the devil who wears her lover’s face and his three companions Darla, Spike, and Drusilla at the height of their madness.
Pairings: No real pairings in this one, just friendships, but you could call it a B/A aftermath or a B/Aus infatuation.
Spoilers: Buffy has come back from heaven, and Angel has Conner, but he’s not grown up yet.
Rating: NC-17 (Just to be safe) there are a few strong sexual exchanges as in banter
Author’s Comments: I finally have a website! Isn’t that exciting! I know I’m excited and I’ll be even more excited if you email me with your challenges and reviews.

You always hurt the one you love...

Angel awoke with a start and with the sensation that it was nearly dark. He had been sleeping later and later these days. He pulled on a pair of pants and ran to the bathroom to jump in the shower. Once out of the shower, he dressed quickly and bounded down the stairs.

“Good morning, sleepy-head,” Cordy said. She had baby Conner in her arms, and lightly waved his little arm at Angel. “Say good morning, Daddy. Daddy, say Daddy.”

Angel smiled at this and took his child from Cordelia’s arms. “Any news on Holtz?”

“What? Like where the hell he went? Nothing.” Gunn spat quickly from his spot on the couch.

“Hey!” Angel scolded, “Not around the child, please.”

Gunn smiled, and teased, “Sorry Daddy.”

Angel grabbed a bottle of formula from the refrigerator next to his pigs’ blood. He carried Conner to the microwave where he put the bottle in for the perfect amount of time. He stood there smiling at Conner, and when the timer rang he pulled out the bottle and sat on a chair to feed him. Just then Lorne appeared at the top of the steps. He sauntered down. “Heard you singing in the shower, big guy.” Grinning at Angel, he added, “Don’t quit your night job.”

Angel glanced around; Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia were all looking extremely depressed. “What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Wesley said, “But don’t you think we should be getting out of here?”

“No,” Angel said, “Holtz said that he would come to me, and until he does I’m not going anywhere. You should know by now I’m definitely not the type to run from anything”.

“Maybe that’s not such a good thing Angel”, Cordelia pointed out, “You have a child you have to take care of now, maybe you should be able to recognize that there’s a time for being high and mighty and there’s a time for admitting you can’t handle the situation you’re in”.

“I can handle it”, Angel said angrily, “Holtz couldn’t kill me a hundred years ago. What makes you think he can kill me now? Especially since I have a child. I have something more to fight for then hopes and dreams.” Angel disappeared into his office and shut the door.

Soon after feeding Conner, Angel put him to sleep and prepared to go hunting with Gunn. Gunn insisted that the least they could do was get out of the hotel and not be sitting there waiting for something to happen for the enemy to come to them. So they gathered their weapons and headed out the front door, leaving Cordelia, Wesley, Lorne, and Fred to watch over Conner.

Gunn and Angel got into Angel’s black convertible and headed towards the Wolfram & Hart building. They pulled into the parking lot for some quality stakeout time, watching for any sign of Holtz. They suspected that the law firm had something to do with his strange reappearance, and since it was the only suspicion they had, they decided to go with it. Besides, when wasn’t Wolfram & Hart involved when someone wanted to kill Angel?

After about three hours of waiting they saw Lilah Morgan packing it up for the night and heading home in her private limousine. “I guess we can go home too,” Angel said with disappointment. He would’ve liked to harass Lilah but since his last assault she had beefed up security and the car held two guards probably well trained to fight all sorts of people, and demons. He just wasn’t in the mood and he wanted to get home to Conner.

Gunn directed the car towards the hotel while Angel sat anxiously in the passenger seat, constantly looking over his shoulder. When they reached the hotel they pulled the convertible into the garage and entered the hotel through the garage door. They were walking down the hall to the lobby when Angel suddenly put his arm out to stop Gunn and held a finger to his lips to silence him.

Gunn and Angel could hear voices in the lobby, and Angel could hear his son crying. He clenched his teeth and focused on the voice. “Such a beautiful baby. Who would think this was the offspring of the most ferocious beasts that ever walked the earth?”

“Holtz,” Angel whispered abruptly to Gunn. He slowly peered around the corner and saw Holtz holding a knife to his precious little baby’s throat. Gunn grabbed Angel’s arm reflexively, stopping him from going into the room unarmed. “Think first,” Gunn whispered back, handing Angel a crossbow.

“Right,” Angel said, trying to stay calm. “You go around to the front door, I’ll shoot Holtz, and then you run in and catch Conner. You think you can do that?”

“Definitely.” Gunn smiled reassuringly and patted Angel on the back then disappeared out the door they came in.

Angel began listening to the conversation in the lobby again, praying that his friends would stall Holtz long enough for Gunn to be positioned out front. “Listen,” Cordelia pleaded, “We realize that Angelus must have hurt you, but he’s good now, he’s trying to make amends for what he did to you and your family and everyone else.” Holtz was staring blankly at her and her pleading seemed to have no influence. Holtz’s voice was passionate; “He will never make amends for what he did to my family. He will only lose his and then die.” With that he lifted a crossbow with his other hand and pulled the trigger. That same moment, Angel slammed around the corner, aimed his crossbow, and pulled the trigger. The stake from Angel’s crossbow struck Holtz in the chest and he flew backwards, sliding on the marble floor, his crossbow still clutched in his fist. Gunn burst through the front doors, skipping the steps, and sliding on the hard floor as if he were a baseball player trying to steal second base. He got his hands between Conner’s flailing body and the marble floor just in time.

Wesley and Fred were on their knees next to Cordelia, an arrow jutting from her shoulder. Holtz had missed her heart by a few inches. Gunn stood up and looked towards Angel.

Angel was standing motionless, an arrow protruding from his dead heart. “He’s okay?” Angel muttered weakly looking at Conner before his body disintegrated into a pile of ash, a small silver ring landing in the middle. Gunn was the only one that saw it happen.

Conner began crying in Gunn’s arms as if he knew what had happened and Gunn looked with uncertainty back to Cordelia, Wesley, and Fred. A small, single tear ran down his cheek and disappeared. “He’s gone,” Gunn mumbled, pulling the baby closer. Wesley and Fred looked on in shock. Cordelia had gone unconscious on the floor. Gunn approached Holtz. “It’s done,” Holtz said, and then his eyes rolled back in his head. “No!” Gunn screamed frantically, using his free hand to bang on Holtz’s chest. “No! You don’t get off that easy! You killed him!”

Wesley speedily dialed for an ambulance while Fred approached Gunn. She slowly put her arms around him, tears streaming down her cheeks, and pulled him away from Holtz.

***

Buffy entered the hotel with a somber face. Cordelia slowly greeted her, a large bandage covering most of her shoulder and back. Buffy could feel death in the room although it was three days after the fateful night. She then greeted Wesley, giving him a tight hug and pulling together the most reassuring smile she could muster. Then she gave Gunn and Fred tight little hugs. She had heard they were very important to Angel. They all noticed her eyes were red and sore from crying, and her clothes were rumpled and thrown together at the last minute. They all felt parts of her pain. Cordelia had been sitting at Angel’s desk earlier that day looking for something when she found a note from Angel to Buffy.

Wesley led Buffy into Angel’s office then left her alone, shutting the door behind him. She couldn’t feel her own skin, or much of anything for that matter as she sat down behind her first lover’s desk. She could only feel his aura everywhere. The whole room was saturated with it. She noticed a small envelope on the clean desktop with her first name on the front. Angel’s clean script like handwriting made her name more beautiful then she had ever seen it look.

She felt fresh tears well up in her eyes as she opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside. She wiped her eyes with her sweatshirt sleeve and began reading.

Dear Buffy,

I’m sure when you read this you will now know that I have a son. I’m also sure that if you are reading this then I am dead. I know a lot of the reasons we would’ve never worked apply to why I would’ve never made a good father. I cannot take my child into the sunlight, nor could I take you there. I cannot keep him completely safe while fighting the evil that seems to find its way to my doorstep, nor could I keep you safe. I know, I know, you can handle that yourself. But as he cannot I can’t think of anyone I would rather raise my child in my absence then you.

I just hope that you will love him the way you loved me. I’m sorry this letter will be so short. I could fill it with all the strong emotions I have for you. How I hoped that one day we would raise our own children together. How I hoped to one day introduce you to Conner and take you both to the beach or some other place with the sun shining above. This may surprise you but these were dreams that filled my head almost every moment of my existence.

I do realize that the hopes of becoming human again made me have selfish motives for continuing my quest and atoning for my sins. I also realize that this yearning may very well be the reason I am not here today. All I know for sure at this moment is that there is no one I would trust my child, my flesh and blood with more then you. I hope you will accept him into your home and treat him as you treat your friends and family.

Please don’t keep him in the dark. When he is old enough Darla wanted him to know that he was the only wonderful thing we ever made together. I agree and I want him to know how special he is and know about the things you and I know. I haven’t got much more to say except that I love you, I always have and that I hope everything from here on in your life goes well. Thank you Buffy. Thank you more then you could ever know.

Also, tell the others that I’m sorry and I thank them from the bottom of my heart as well.

Love,

Angel

Buffy watched the tears run from her chin then down the pages, smearing the ink as she finished the last words. Could she hurt anymore then she was hurting now? She knew she could, and that she had, when she lost her mother, but this was extremely close to the pain she had been feeling then. Hearing that Angel had died in the first place was third, and Angel turning evil was fourth. She remembered the first time she had met Angel. And the first time she had kissed him. The time she found out he was a vampire. She curled her knees up and wrapped her arms around herself in his big worn out leather chair. All these memories washed over her and she cried again and again for all the other reasons she had ever cried in her life until she could cry no more.

She opened the top drawer to his desk to find the Kleenex and pulling out a tissue she noticed a familiar silver gleam. She gasped in a deep breath of pain as she pulled Angel’s ring from the practically empty drawer. She stared at it, remembering the time she had brought Angel back from hell with her own matching ring. He wouldn’t be in the same hell now. Where would he be? She took off her thick silver cross necklace, another reminder of Angel and thread the ring onto the chain, putting in back around her neck.

Then she wrapped the letter back up and stared for a few extra seconds at his precise handsome handwriting. Then she put the letter in her purse and opened the door. She saw Gunn, Wesley, Fred, Cordelia, and Lorne, whom she recognized from Angel’s stories, jump slightly and pretend to be doing something. Cordelia glanced at Buffy from her spot on the couch then at a bedroom door, which was slightly ajar up the massive steps. Buffy nodded wordlessly beginning her climb. She paused outside the door and wiped her once tearing, bleeding eyes and slowly opened the door. The rest watched breathlessly as she entered.

She walked to a plain white crib on the other side of the room and saw a small rocking chair seated next to it. A book on Demonology was resting on the chair and she picked it up and sat down. Opening the musty envisioned Angel reading there. He had been sitting there watching his child, maybe even writing a letter to his former love. She lightly placed the book on a tiny end table and peered in at the child. She had never really been into babies as other girls her age had always been but she knew that this baby was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. “Just like Daddy,” she mumbled. Then she reached in and carefully lifted Conner into her arms. She embraced him, sobbing all the while as she rocked back and forth in the chair. She wanted to feel the tears cool her hot cheeks but there were no more tears left to cry. The baby woke and looked at her with soulful eyes, which she recognized and then laid its head on her shoulder and went back to sleep again. She couldn’t ever remember holding something so delicate before.

***

Gavin Park was never late for work. He was always awake, showered, dressed, and on his way to work exactly nineteen minutes before he was scheduled to be walking in the automatic impervious glass doors of the Wolfram & Hart building. He was even a few minutes early today, he acknowledged happily as he nodded to Larry the deskman on his hurried way to the elevator. He had to make a good impression, always watched, had to make a good impression, drilled through his head while his solid strong smile plastered his face.

“Excuse me?” a pretty young blonde jumped in-between him and the elevator, in-between him and his perfect impression. “Excuse me?”

His stern gaze directed from the departing elevator to the girl, “What is it?” he asked impatiently, it was a good thing he was a few minutes early. He looked the girl over; she looked to be about 21 years old, fresh out of college maybe. She had on a tight red dress with a matching red business jacket buttoned over top. The girls full sexy lips, short lacquered nails, small clutch purse, and high kneels matched the dresses blood red color. She held a pen and clipboard in her dainty hands. “I heard there was a job opening for secretary here, but so far no one seems to need one.” She flashed her pretty green eyes and thick lashes at him, “Are you looking for one?”

Just then the elevator returned and he took a quick glance at her long muscular legs emerging from the short hem of the dress. Sure, he could use something pretty to look at in his office and he had loads of money to waste. He wordlessly motioned with his hands for her to follow him into the elevator, smiling all the while.

“I mean, I just graduated from business school,” she smiled perfect white teeth, “I can do anything computer related, I can type fifty-five words a minute and write forty-five words shorthand a minute…” He barely listened to her drone as his eyes danced over her pretty neck and chest, her pretty flawless golden skin. Her hair was pulled back in a clip and small blonde wisps fell from her loose bun like a goddess. She was beginning to notice he wasn’t listening, “…I can make a killer pot of coffee, and I took training classes on how to give a perfect massage,” she finished with a weak smile.

Gavin smiled energetically as he stepped out of the elevator. “Well, Miss…”

She girl smiled, “Winters,” she said finally.

“Miss Winters,” Gavin said, “I have been searching high and low for good help these days and well, after listening intently to your credentials I feel you might just be the perfect person for the job.”

Miss Winters’ face lit with happiness and the biggest brightest smile Gavin had even seen, which were extremely contrasted to the bitter, arrogant scowl of Lilah Morgan as she passed them.

“Whoa, is this your office?” the girl asked surprised as they entered Gavin’s large office on the fortieth floor. She walked over to the far wall which was made of thick glass and looked down at the street far below. “I’ve never been up this high before.” She giggled, “You could join the mile-high-club up here.” Gavin smiled, he had every intention of doing just that.

“Okay, Miss Winters, My name is Gavin Park. I’m a law associate for this firm, but you don’t have to worry much about that.” He sat at the large Italian leather chair behind a sparkling oak desk, “All you’ll have to worry about is typing, coffee, and those perfect massages you were talking about.”

The girl moved closer and placed her purse on his desktop, “Care for a trial run?”

Gavin took of his suit jacket, “That’s just what I had in mind Miss Winters.” The girl slunk behind his chair and slowly began to massage his tight shoulders, finding many stress kinks and kneading them out with her strong palms and thumbs. Once Gavin was fully relaxed she slid one tiny hand into his black hair until it was firmly tangled amongst the hair sprayed locks. She grasped all the hair she could in one hand and ripped Gavin’s surprised form out of his seat, and slammed him into the glass wall behind them. “Did I say Miss Winters? Gee, It’s Miss Summers, close though.”

Gavin looked shocked but not as scared as she had hoped, “I’m getting so forgetful in my old age Gavin.” She pulled a silver envelope opener from his desk set and held it to his throat, “But I do remember something… I was here for a reason.” She kneed him in the crotch, “Oh yeah, to even to odds. See since Angel died the good side is a player short and that’s just no fun at all.” “Oh and I hear it was very fun for you to have him around,” Gavin said, “The murdering, the lying, the hurt, … the sex,” he said slyly knowing it would upset her when he let it slide from his tongue.

“Oh Gavin,” she said, “You don’t know the half of it. And as for all that other bad stuff you’ll know more then enough soon. See, I figure it’s only a matter of time before that door comes crashing in and your little commando guys come filing in guns-a-blazin’. I’m thinking the odds are about 60 to 40 on my side that you’re the first one to fall seeing as how we’re so close together. Do you rely on your guys that much that they’ll successfully hit such a small harmless looking target like myself?” He didn’t respond, “You might as well put the beer can on your head now.”

Gavin frowned, “What do you want?”

“I want to know how you brought Darla back,” Buffy said, “And I want to know now.”

Gavin looked more scared, “You’re asking the wrong person, I didn’t bring her back it was Lilah, Lilah Morgan and Lindsay McDonald.”

“Well, yeah,” she smiled, “See, Lindsay’s MIA, and Lilah is much smarter then you. Smart enough to know not to pick up some strange woman in the lobby and bring her up to your room to have a poke, so… That leaves you. And if you really don’t know, then I suggest you find out. Now!”

“Okay, Okay,” Gavin was growing more scared by the second; “I’ll take you to Lilah’s office.”

“That won’t be necessary,” a strong female voice said from the doorway, “I’m right here, and wow, what a predicament you’ve got yourself in Gavin.”

“Lilah,” Gavin rasped, “This is Buffy Summers, and she wants to know how you brought Darla back.”

“Looks a lot like she wants to decapitate you from where I’m standing.” Lilah took a seat and continued, “Must be the light though, because if I know The Slayer she stands for justice and all that other bull, just like our little shining star Angel did.” Lilah paused and smiled over the situation before her once more, “No, if she’s anything like her boyfriend she’s all talk and no follow through.”

Buffy grinned, “You may have known a little something about Angel as a foe, Lilah, but you know nothing about me. Angel was making amends, I’m just retaliating, and I plan to continue just that until I get what I want. I’m not Angel. I don’t make empty threats, so keep in mind that when I’m done with Gavin here I’m coming after you.”

“I think your bluffing, just like your boyfriend.”

Buffy couldn’t contain her rage she lifted the envelope opener and flung it across the room at Lilah as hard as she could. It landed with a sickening thud between Lilah’s cold eyes, and she fell forward in her chair. Buffy heard Gavin gasp, “Maybe so,” she said lightly dropping Gavin to the floor. She frowned up at a security camera above the door to the room and took off her business jacket. She undid her hair and shook it a little to get that tousled just-been-laid look. Then she looked at her reflection showing brown in the highly polished wood door. Thank god for Cordelia, she thought looking at the finished product; a hooker was something she expected would be seen in a dirty place like Wolfram & Hart all the time. She grabbed her purse and took a final look at Gavin who was curled on the floor like a little baby. He didn’t know anything. Then she quickly strode out the door.

***

“Wow, When can we make one?” Anya asked Xander innocently as she looked at Conner in the car seat. Buffy sat him down on the table inside The Magic Box and looked around solemn-faced at the crowd present. Willow was smiling down at the baby, but Buffy knew she had her own reasons to be sad. Tara was no longer talking to her, and she was trying fruitlessly to quit magic.

“Hey Conner,” Xander said lightly to the little boy’s blissful face, “I’m your uncle Xander, and this is my sex slave Anya.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Anya said laughingly after she lightly slapped Xander’s arm.

Buffy went over in Willow’s direction. “So Angel had a baby?” Buffy nodded, “With Darla?” Buffy nodded again. “How?” Willow finally asked.

“I have no idea, and nether did he. Apparently Conner’s a miracle, hunted by all kinds of mad demon cults and evil law firms.”

Willow smiled, “Then its good that he’s here with you now, you can keep him safe.” Buffy didn’t answer. Angel thought she would keep him safe, but she didn’t even know how she was going to pay the mortgage or buy groceries these days. “What do you think Dawn is going to say?” Willow asked.

“Oh,” Buffy frowned, “I didn’t really think about that. I mean… I hope she’s not mad. I don’t think she’ll be mad. I don’t know. But it doesn’t really matter. Angel wanted me to take care of his child and that’s what I plan to do no matter what I have to go through.”

They glanced over to where Anya was carrying Conner around and showing him all the mystical herbs, gems, spell books and telling him the names, all the history, the prices, and place of origin. “Can’t wait to see when they have kids,” Buffy joked lightly.

“I don’t know what to do Will,” she said after a short silence, “I mean, truthfully, I can’t think of raising Angel’s child without him.” It was the first time Willow had heard Buffy talk about Angel in a truly, deeply, loving way since they had been together. “I mean... I know he left and I moved on… but it was like I was just biding my time until something magical happened and Angel and I could be together.” Willow nodded understandingly, so Buffy continued, “I mean... he was my true love, Will. I have to find out who did this to him. I have to find a way to…” Willow looked at Buffy but she didn’t finish.

“A way to what, Buffy?” she asked concerned.

“I just wish I could bring him back somehow.”

“Well, if you’re thinking of anything I could do, I mean, what we did for you… it wasn’t the same Buffy. It wouldn’t work for Angel.”

Willow looked at Buffy’s sullen face thinking attentively. Then she got up and walked up the steps to the bookshelf she had been to so many times before. Buffy just watched Anya and Xander play with Conner. When Conner began to cry loudly Buffy tiredly put the baby in his car seat and attempted excuses at departure.

“Do you want any help Buff?” Xander asked still smiling at the baby.

“Yeah,” Anya added excitedly, “Can we baby-sit?”

Buffy looked at her watch, “It’s almost dinner, I think I’ll just order some pizza, you guys are welcome for a little while.”

“Great,” they both said then they ran to the closet lovingly racing to get their jackets.

Buffy noticed Willow was sitting Indian style up in the loft looking at the powerful magic books. Xander followed her gaze and his smile washed-out almost instantly.

Buffy knew what Willow was looking for and she hoped she would find it.

“Willow? Are you coming?” Xander called up to her.

“Um, I’ll be over as soon as I can,” she said looking up from a heavy book situated in her lap.

“Ok, don’t forget to lock up.” Buffy said, “See ya.” They walked out the door, and flipped the closed sign as they went.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Buffy said trying to reassure Xander’s disappointed face.

***

“So Monopoly next?” Dawn asked eagerly folding the Clue board into the box.

“Sure,” Anya said, frowning at Xander’s glance, “Can I be the ghost?”

“The ghost?” Dawn asked, “There’s no ghost.”

“Yes,” Anya said, and then she pulled the little lead hat figurine from the box, “Right here.”

“An, honey, that’s a hat.” Xander said.

“No, it’s a ghost, but all you can see is the hat.”

Dawn and Xander gave up with reason and began to start the game.

Buffy had set up a crib for the baby in the living room. Soon after dinner she had put him to bed and curled up on the couch to think about things. How was she supposed to take care of a baby? She didn’t know how she was going to pay for much of anything when it had been just her and Dawn, now with this added expenditure she didn’t know what she was going to do. Maybe Willow would be useful; she could just zap us rich, Buffy thought wryly. She hated herself for thinking of Conner as an expense but she just couldn’t help it. How could Angel do this to her? How could he just leave her, and leave his baby?

She grabbed the duffel bag Cordelia had helped her fill with the baby’s things and began to see how long her supplies would last. She was looking in the front pocket when she pulled out a clean envelope. Chills ran down her spine as the pain from earlier that day was rekindled. She hoped it wasn’t another overwhelming letter from Angel, she didn’t think she could handle it at the moment. She slowly opened the undressed envelope and pulled out a short typed letter.

Dear Buffy,

We understand the extreme reality of raising a child, as we have helped raise Conner along so far. Angel, as you may not have known, had managed to save a very fair sum of money to help him in this task. We know he would want you to have it, and we cannot see why anyone would feel differently. We wish you all the best, and hope you will give us a call if you need a few babysitters. Thank you for everything, you will be in our prayers.

Love,
Your friends at Angel Investigations,
Cordelia, Wesley, Fred, Gunn, and Lorne.

Buffy pulled out an enclosed check and grabbed her chest at the surprise of the “fair sum of money” bestowed upon her. She knew she needed it, and knew she deserved it. She smiled at the generosity and consideration of her friends, “Looks like we’re going to be okay after all, for a while anyway,” she said lightly to the baby. She smiled with anticipation at the notion of going to the bank early the next morning and depositing the large check into her stripped account.

She looked at the sleeping baby, angelic while sleeping, angelic all the time, just like his father. She frowned at the dry reality that despite the horrible experiences in their short relationship Angel had been one of the best things in her life. She had always dreamed of having a child with him and instead one of the beings Buffy had hated the most, and the last being that deserved it, had had his child. She wiped a stinging tear from her raw cheek and pulled the covers around her.

She turned her attention to the kitchen where Anya had jumped from her seat at the table and passionately kissed Xander, “I won!” she screamed as they broke for air. Dawn started to put the game away and when the table was clean Anya and Xander came into the living room to say goodbye.

Xander gave Buffy a hug, “Willow’s still at it,” Xander said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said looking at the pitch-black sky, “Did you save her a few slices of pizza?”

“Why?” Xander said bitterly, “She can just wave her hand and have whatever she wants.”

“I trust her Xander,” Buffy said, “And you should too.”

Xander nodded and he and Anya walked out the front door to their car. Dawn came and sat next to Buffy on the couch. Buffy wiped her bangs from in front of her face, “Did you finish your homework?”

“Yes,” Dawn sighed.

Buffy smiled back. Dawn leaned forward to look at the baby. Buffy feared she would be hurt that she hadn’t been consulted first. “We are going to make this work, right?” Dawn asked.

“We are,” Buffy answered certainly.

“Okay,” Dawn smiled then looked at the clock, “I’m going up to bed, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” they kissed and embraced and Dawn went up to bed.

Buffy turned out all the lights but one so she could sit and think and still watch the baby. Thoughts and memories swept through her mind and she doubted she would ever fall asleep again.

***

“Buffy, Buffy wake up.”

Buffy opened her eyes surprisingly pulled from a fantasy along the lines of Angel’s. Her, Angel, and Conner were walking on the beach. “Willow?” she said. She sat up, “What is it? What’s wrong?” Willow looked excited, “What time is it?” Buffy asked.

“It’s around four o’clock.”

“What is it Will? What did you find?” Buffy sat up looking more excited every second. Willow held a book under her arm. She glanced up at the dark stairway, and began to whisper. “I think I have an idea about how to bring Angel back.”

Buffy got up and went with Willow into the kitchen. “What is it?” she asked.

“Well,” Willow said, “I looked in every book in the library at the Magic Box and at my place and I couldn’t find anything on resurrecting a vampire as human. However Wolfram & Hart did it, their secret remains theirs.”

Buffy frowned. “But I did find something else,” Willow added with a slight smile.

She opened the book she had placed on the counter to a leafed page in the middle of the leather binding. There was an etching of a man in the middle of a large whirlwind, and under that was an article in Latin. Buffy could see the notes Willow had translated.

“What is it?” Buffy asked impatiently.

“Well,” Willow said, “We don’t know how to bring Angel back but we do know how he died.”

“Holtz,” Buffy mumbled.

“Right,” Willow said, “And we know that somehow he came into the future to kill Angel.”

“Yes,” Buffy said, pain was evident in her tone.

“Well,” Willow smiled, “Why don’t we beat him at his own game?”

“Come on Willow,” Buffy mumbled.

“Why don’t you go back to the past and kill Holtz?”

***

“Spike?” Buffy called into the darkness.

“Come for some lovin’ Slayer?” a sexy male voice called back.

“You’re such an ass. I come here to ask you a favor and you piss me off.”

“Well, what is it?” Spike asked emerging from the darkness holding a TV remote control and a bottle of whiskey, a cigarette barely clinging to his bottom lip. “Is it about this kid I been hearing so much about?”

“What did you hear?” Buffy asked, paranoid.

“Well, he is a miracle, a human child born of two legendary vampires.” Spike sat on the chair in front of his television, “The boys are saying this baby tastes better then Slayer blood.”

“That’s precious,” Buffy, said sarcastically, “I’m going back in time to kill Holtz.”

Spike looked on mouth gaping, “You’re what?”

“You heard me. So when I come back to this time everything will be back the way it was.” Spike looked understanding, but didn’t speak. He knew these types of back in the future missions only dug people further into the ground. He doubted the Slayer would want his opinion on the matter so he stared blankly then butted out his smoke.

“So will you baby-sit?” Buffy asked.

***

“Buffy?” Xander asked concerned as they sat at the table, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Buffy looked at him, “Positive.”

“Okay, well then lets start. You can only do this during the full moon,” Willow informed them, and Buffy directed her attention towards the witch.

“First, Buffy you will be in a different time period. As you know Angelus, Darla, Spike, and Drusilla are The Scourge of Europe during this time. Holtz is following the death trail left behind them. You will arrive in London, where both are. Holtz will prove to be a difficult opponent. Angelus and the three can never kill him and he can never kill them.” Willow looked a little nervous. “Just like in the movies, it is imperative that you don’t tell anyone in the past who you are. Hopefully Angel and the others will not remember you.”

“I get what you’re saying Will. Only talk to strangers, kill Holtz the easy way.” Buffy pulled out a small handgun. Xander, Spike, and Willow looked at her in shock. They didn’t want to know how she had acquired the item. “I’m not messing around here guys.”

Willow nodded and continued, “You wear this necklace while I say the spell and then you repeat the words on this paper to come back to the desired time. Your heart and thoughts direct you so don’t think about dinosaurs while reading the words.”

Xander smiled, “Or the imminent destruction of the world, cause that would suck to be at,” he piped in.

“Also, when you come back things should be relatively the way you left them, with the exception of Angel being alive, and Holtz being old news. No one but you should know what has happened. We are trusting you to play it safe and not put yourself in danger.” Willow sighed and looked at Buffy with a heartfelt, understanding expression.

Buffy nodded and looked out the window. “Let’s do this.”

Willow nodded and handed the large blue diamond necklace to Buffy. Buffy clasped the gold chain around her neck and looked at the beautiful stone admiringly.

“Are you sure about this?” Spike asked solemnly from his leaning perch on the far wall.

Buffy nodded resolutely and looked at them, “You guys take care of yourselves and the kids huh?”

“Happy to oblige little lady,” Xander said in a cowboy voice, tipping an imaginary hat.

Buffy smiled, “Thanks.”

“Okay,” Willow looked to Spike then Xander, “You guys have to leave the room now.” They reluctantly got up and took a last look at Buffy before going into the living room with Dawn, Anya, and Conner.

Willow clasped Buffy’s hands and began to read the Latin spell. The spell was rather long and strenuous, but Buffy was listening intently to every word trying to prepare herself for the rush of going back in time. When Willow said the last word it was evident the spell was working. A purple and deep red whirlwind much like the one pictured in the book began to form between them. Soon it was a rushing, glowing, force that blew the papers from the front of the refrigerator. Buffy closed her eyes and Willow delicately blew a breath into the whirlwind. It moved around Buffy and she felt herself running out of air. She closed her eyes when all she could see was black. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

***

Willow looked at Buffy’s empty seat and felt tears run down her cheeks. Had she done the right thing? Would Buffy be safe? She looked around at the mess that had been made by the spell and jumped up to straighten the room a little before the others came in. She was picking up the papers from the floor when Dawn came in followed by the others. She had red eyes and looked sadly at Buffy’s seat at the kitchen table.

“She’ll be home soon Dawny,” Willow said comfortingly. When she reached to give the girl a hug Dawn broke away and stormed upstairs. Anya followed holding the baby. Xander looked uneasily at Willow, “I better go with her and make sure she doesn’t say something stupid.” He left too.

Spike watched Willow intently. “This spell is safe right pet?”

Willow slumped into a chair. “As far as I know.”

“Then Buffy will be home soon.” Spike put a hand on her shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, you did the right thing.” Soon Spike had said goodnight and went to sleep on the couch to keep an eye on the doors. Xander and Anya slept in the spare bedroom and Willow and Dawn in Willow’s bed, Conner in his crib close by.

Willow lay in bed awake. Dawn had been mad but she had come to Willow soon after bedtime to cry and cuddle and cure a little of the loneliness that was building inside of her. She felt as if Buffy had died all over again. Soon Spike was standing in the doorway. “I’d feel better if I could keep a watch on you guys.” Willow nodded and pointed through the dark to a window bench with a pillow and cover.

***

Buffy opened her eyes. She nervously looked around her. Surprise, a cemetery; at least she didn’t feel too far from home. She wondered if she was in London like anticipated. She felt her pockets to make sure she had her gun and a stake. Then she walked towards a deserted dirt road she could see. There were many houses and pubs right on the road. The houses you could easily tell because the lights were all out and the pub lights were all on some emitted loud noise every once in a while and a man would stumble out still holding a bottle and start home or head to another pub.

She went reluctantly inside the nearest establishment. Looking around she noticed the place was mostly empty. A few sad faced people were spotting the bar and a small group of men were seated at a round table near the back playing cards. Buffy noticed that when she entered everyone looked her way. She walked up and lightly addressed the bartender, “Ladies room?” she asked. He stared blankly at her, “Powder room?”

He silently pointed to a doorway in the very back of the bar and Buffy quickly went inside. She knew why they were all staring. She was wearing a pair of black leather pants, a black leather duster, a tight white tee shirt, and black leather boots. She wondered why her and Willow hadn’t considered that. Angel was sure to remember someone who stood out as much as she did. She also realized she didn’t have a dime to buy clothes, food, nothing.

She looked at herself angrily in the mirror frowning at their major screw up. Then she decided she had to hide until light incase Angelus or someone else spotted her. She went back into the bar and figuring there wasn’t much she could do, took a seat. She doubted any of the vampires would come into a place like this looking for food. She knew Angelus was quite the party animal; he would want a place with more people. More young woman, she thought wryly. She watched the eyes that leered at her. The bartender looked to be considering kicking her out more then once, but he never said a word. She would glance at the card game every now and then. She watched the youngest, scrawniest man clean the others out game after game. When it was nearly daylight Buffy sighed in relief, happy no vamps had made their way to that bar. Then she left shortly after the men had disbanded from their poker game.

She followed the winner down an alley, which was still dark, shaded from the coming sun. The man never knew what was happening. She pistol-whipped him and he passed out easily. She sat his body upright and pulled his winnings and the other contents from his pockets. She looked at a piece of paper from his pocket stating that he was getting a suit at James John London Tailors and smiled. She was in London. She put everything in her pocket and sat the man upright.

“That wasn’t very nice,” a familiar voice said from behind her back. She jumped up and turned quickly.

“Spike, shit.”

He smiled, “You’ve heard of me?” he asked. She cursed herself for being so foolish and careless as to let his name slip from her lips. She almost laughed out loud at his outfit. A black suit, knickers with white stockings, a jacket with tails, shoulder length golden blonde hair combed back, with a ribbon at the nape of his neck.

“Unfortunately.”

“I’d say.” He changed into his game face and ran towards her.

She barely caught him and brought her knee into his chest. He was stronger then his future self but she eventually got the better of him. She wondered if all the vampires would be stronger then their future versions. “Isn’t the sun coming up? You should hurry along inside.”

“I’m happy you’re concerned. Who are you?”

“I’m just a girl.” Buffy answered. “Now go home,” she said, “Maybe you should think about a diet as well.”

She pushed Spike away and he glanced around at the lightening sky. The sun would be fully up any minute. It’s no wonder he’s still alive in the future, Buffy thought. “See you again,” he threatened before disappearing down a side alley. When she went to the corner to make sure he was leaving he was gone. She sighed and looked back one last time at the cataleptic young man before walking hesitantly out onto the main road again.

She saw a middle-aged woman opening a store a few spots down. She walked nervously to the store. A mother and her young boy were walking down the street, the boy wearing a baby blue outfit similar to Spike’s and the woman wearing a heavy white hoop skirt dress and matching jacket. The boy tugged his mothers skirt and pointed at Buffy like the freak that she appeared to be. Buffy looked away nervously as the woman urged her son to walk faster.

Buffy peered inside the storefront and saw happily it was a clothing boutique. She waited a little longer until the sun was warming the black cloth then she disappeared inside. She smiled at the woman as she hung a beautiful dress up for display. “Can I help ye dear?” the woman asked cheerfully.

“Yes,” Buffy said, looking down at her outfit and drawling the woman’s attention to her clothing.

“Oh yes,” the woman said, not as shocked as Buffy had anticipated, “Actor, are ye?” the woman inquired leading Buffy back to a measuring stand. “Ye know people say that it’s wrong fer women to be acting on stage but I think ‘tis wonderful.”

Buffy smiled, “Thank you.” She stood on the stand and let the woman measure her waste and height and a few other things then watched her scurry away.

The woman came back with a few brightly colored dresses and hung them on a hook for Buffy then closed a curtain around her so she could dress in private. Buffy tried on the first dress, which was baby blue and lavender. It was a little snug in the waist and Buffy wondered how the woman of this time did anything at all with such heavy dresses and binding undergarments. She supposed that was pretty much the point and that they didn’t really do anything.

Although she didn’t have a waist shrinking corset on she looked in the mirror and liked the finished product. The next dress was a little more defined. It was light green with lace trim everywhere. Buffy tried on the dress, which fit perfectly everywhere. She opened the curtain and smiled at the older women’s nod of approval. “That looks marvelous.”

Buffy looked down at her bare feet, and having a Cinderella moment asked, “What about shoes?”

“I have the perfect shoes.” The woman measured Buffy’s small feet and bustled off again. She came back a few moments later with a few different pairs of shoes. Buffy tried on a pair of white boots that laced up and a pair of white dress shoes. She nodded in approval. On her way to the counter she passed a small supply of luggage and picked a tiny plain black bag and put all the items on a table. She looked hesitantly at her money and then at the woman. The women nodded reassuringly and took a few bills from Buffy’s stack, then helped Buffy pack the rest of the clothing into the bag.

Buffy smiled and started to leave, “I’m only in town for a short time. Do you know any good place to stay around here?”

“Well,” the woman said, “The Smith House is very cheap, but not especially clean. The Red Room I think would be the best, its clean and very luxurious, but not extremely high priced, you have plenty there doll, so don’t let anyone cheat you.”

“Thanks a lot,” Buffy said, “And where would that be?”

“It’s left outside the doors then two roads and a left past McCauley cemetery then on your right."

“Thanks again.” Buffy hoped she had enough to stay at this Red Room, because the Smith House didn’t sound like much fun. She walked out the door and slowly strolled down the street feeling more comfortable and less conspicuous in her new dress. She used a ribbon she hadn’t noticed was hanging from the sleeve of the dress and tied her hair up with it. Before she knew it she was standing outside The Red Room Hotel. She smiled at the size and Victorian style of the place. Red roses lined the front yard and small garden. The building itself was a deep dark red with black trim, which would normally be morbid or depressing seemed happy and vibrant amidst the plain white houses of the town.

Walking up to the door she didn’t know whether to knock or to just go in. Guessing that because it was a hotel the first room would be the lobby she just walked in without knocking. She looked around and noticed that the large lobby ahead was really grandly decorated. The walls were painted deep red and all the furniture was dark cherry wood with rich red and black fabrics. Beautiful pictures with noble ladies basking in the sunlight and still-lives of fruit and flowers covered the walls. She walked along the rich red carpet of the hallway into the massive lobby. Directly in front of her was a receptionist’s desk. A guest book, pen, and small silver bell ornamented the desktop. She gazed around and then hesitantly rang the bell lightly. She looked towards the three doors and the stairs within one of the doors and saw no one was coming. Getting impatient she rang the bell again and heard movement within the dining room. She smiled as a handsome young man appeared. He walked over smoothly and took his place behind his desk.

“Good morning ma’am.” He smiled graciously and rang the bell four sharp times. “I’ll be happy to help you acquire a room today.”

“That’s great,” Buffy said smiling. “How much for one room, a single room?”

“By yourself then?” he inquired.

Buffy nodded and got her money out of her bag. “How much?”

“Ah yes,” the man said frowning slightly, “That will be five pounds for the night. That’s good until one o’clock tomorrow afternoon, and then you’ll have to pay another five pounds if you want to stay longer. Or you could pay now in advance.” He smiled goofily. Just then an even younger man sauntered quickly into the room, he looked hesitantly at the man behind the counter, then at Buffy. “Can I help you with your bag ma’am?” he asked quickly.

“No thanks,” Buffy said, grasping the handle. She counted out the five pounds and handed them to the man behind the counter.

“Ok,” he smiled, “Breakfast is in an hour, and dinner is promptly at seven o’clock.” He smiled widely as he answered. “Charles will show you to your room.”

“Thank you,” she said and followed the bag boy up the stairs to the second floor. He led straight down the hallway to another stairway going to the third floor. Walking down the halls she noticed the pretty hand painted pattern on the walls, gold ribbon along the middle, and a cherub design clutching the ribbon and smiling out at any passersby every few feet.

“Here ya are ma’am,” the young man said, “Room thirteen.”

“Thanks,” Buffy took the key from his hand and opened the door herself. “Goodbye,” she said, and then closed the door in the young man’s prying face. She followed the walls along the room. The room had no windows, and was particularly dark. She put her bag on a rocking chair by the door and walked over to the large cushiony bed. She pulled down the overstuffed down comforter and felt the mattress. She would get a good nap. She shed her clothes and blew out the candle on the bedside table that lit the room, and then climbed in the bed. Quickly after she lay down she fell into a troubled and much needed sleep.

She was walking alone in the hallways of the hotel at night, a white silk nightgown flowing on her bare feet as she crept silently along. She felt his presence behind her, didn’t hear footsteps, or see a glimpse of pale skin as she turned a corner, just knew he was there. She came to an open door and the light within seemed to call her forward. She stepped into the doorway, entering a room much nicer then hers lit with glowing candlelight. She looked around for him, expecting him to suddenly be before her. She shook and was covered in goose bumps as she felt his hands slide delicately over her creamy shoulders from behind. She longed to turn, and look into his eyes, see him once again even if it were only a mirage of the love she had once known, an evil mirage; but he held her steady. He pulled her closer. His evil flesh caressing hers, tainting her purity, his hands defiling her privacy as they crept beneath the smooth cloth that covered her. Maybe he felt the bond between them that he had not yet experienced.

Suddenly she felt a cool blade against the skin at her neck, then a small slow trickle of crimson death down her sweltering skin. He leaned in and lapped at her life with his wet tongue. She wanted to struggle, but she was a prisoner to her own body; a body that only he had control over. Startling her from her thoughts of an eternal black void he turned her around and she was satisfied at the sudden sight of him. His eyes were sparkling with young evil, and frenzied hair framed his face, but according to appearance he was the same man she had loved. His lips opened and he smiled evilly, “I’ll live forever this way my darling,” he said then laughed happily.

A sudden sense of fear froze her body. She sat bolt upright in the bed. Looking towards the door, barely making out shadows of the furniture in the room. She looked around, almost sensing that Angelus was nearby. She wiped at her sweaty forehead and looked around the room again. Then she leaned over and quickly fumbled to light the candle on the bedside table. Once the room was lit with the orange glow of the candlelight casting flickering shadows on the walls she was satisfied that she was alone. She could feel that it was after dark. She got out of bed, not believing that she had allowed herself to sleep so long. She went over to a vanity where a washbowl and rag were sitting. She was beginning to wash her face when she heard a light bell ringing in the hall. “Dinner in a half an hour,” the voice called. Frowning she began to dress for dinner.

***

Buffy could hear the hushed voices inside the large dinning room as she waited outside. She knew she was late, and hated to drawl attention to herself. She peered slowly around the corner trying to get the lay of the room. Inside she saw a large rectangle table. The head of the table was on the far wall facing her, and the one seat there was empty. There was a young blonde woman seated at the opposite end of the table and all Buffy could see was her back. Then there were approximately ten seats on the long sides and three were not filled. Suddenly she felt a hand on her bare shoulder. She jumped nervously.

“Sorry to frighten you,” a familiar voice said, “But don’t you think you should be heading in?” She turned to see the man from the reservation desk.

“Oh, yes.” She nodded and slowly walked into the dining room. All eyes looked her way, and she tried not to make eye contact with any one as she sat on the left side of the table three seats from the young blonde woman. As she neared her seat a gentlemen cordially stood and pulled her chair out for her. She smiled as she took her seat and smoothed her baby blue dress. She slowly looked around at all the inquiring faces. The gentleman that had helped her seemed to be with a young woman on the other side of him. Buffy noticed she was blind as he helped guide her hand to her glass of wine. She was extraordinarily beautiful and that would explain why the man she was with was her age and a half and not nearly as beautiful.

The woman next to her had a large head with fiery red curls propped up and protruding from a black beaded tiara to match her black beaded dress. She was about fifty pounds overweigh but was still rather attractive. On the side opposite her there were two seats open next to the head of the table, which was also open. Then there was an old couple. The woman was wearing a dress much too large for her frail frame and the old man seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep in his dinner. Buffy could barely restrain a smile at them. But when she saw who the blonde at the end of the table was the smile disappeared altogether from her thoughts. Although her style was much more elegant, classy, and downright stunning; Buffy knew the woman was Darla.

When Darla caught her glancing she smiled a full set of perfect white teeth and turned her head to the door. No noise that Buffy could hear had provoked her movement but sure enough moments later a suave young figure swept through the doorway. Buffy could barely keep the astonishment from her face as Angelus entered the room, closely followed by Spike and Drusilla. Things couldn’t get much worse. Spike had seen her; it was foolish of her to interact with him, now he would surely pass the word on to Angelus and the others when he recognized her.

She quickly engaged herself with cutting her dinner into tiny pieces, but when she looked up she saw Angelus was seated at the head of the table, Spike was seated next to him, and Drusilla next to Spike. All three were smiling at the new addition to their dinner. Buffy suddenly wondered if they were actually going to eat food. She smiled at Angelus innocently, as if she hadn’t a care in the world then began to eat her dinner. The man next to her, whose name was James was quick to initiate a conversation with her, and soon introduced her to his wife Seveen, who was completely blind since birth. She was surprised how easy it was to converse, and at how calm she was with the being that scared her more then anything in the world only seats away. Her worst enemy, a man who had hurt her more then anyone else could within striking distance.

Then, just as she had dreaded Darla suddenly addressed her over the conversations of the others. “Did you arrive this morning darling?” she asked loud enough so that everyone at the table stopped and looked for the answer to which they had all been wondering. Buffy turned to her, “Yes.”

“What brings you here?” Darla continued. Buffy quickly glanced back to see Angelus leaning back in his chair his chin resting on his knuckles in amused inquiry. Buffy hesitated, knowing that sooner or later they would know she was their enemy, maybe even a Slayer, so she figured she might as well play the part, “Business,” she answered frankly.

“Interesting,” Darla answered smiling. “What type of business are you in?” she asked.

“The private kind,” Buffy said and turned her head down to her dinner.

Angelus laughed lightly and went back to his wine, and soon everyone else at the table had continued with their eating or conversation clusters. When she was done, Buffy excused herself and went back up to her room. She slipped on her own outfit which was much more fit for the task at hand, grabbed the gun and a stake, and crept out into the hallway. She walked along quietly aware of every creak in the wood floor, and every voice still mumbling at the dinner table. She knew she had to get outside, and since there was no window in her room and she couldn’t get to the door without passing the table she had to climb out another window somewhere.

She walked to the corner of the hallway and looked out the small window to the garden below. Fortunately there was a rose climb right below the window. It was like people put rose climbs under windows just for the purpose of escape. She smiled and opened the window. It stuck a little and made a few loud squeaks but when she turned around in panic no one seemed to have heard it. Or at least no one came looking.

She put one foot out the window and got her footing. Then turned around to shimmy the rest of her body down to the rose climb. She was so shocked to see him standing there she lost her grip on the window ledge and fell two stories to the hard ground below. Embarrassed and a little hurt she stood and brushed her pants off then looked hesitantly to the window above her.

He was leaning out looking down at her and his eyes looked alive and glowing in the bright moonlight, “Sneaking off somewhere?” he asked busying himself by plucking the petals from a white rose and letting them drift slowly from his hand to the ground.

“Maybe.” Buffy said.

“What might a young woman such as yer'self be doing leaving alone at such a troublesome hour?” he asked smiling. It felt weird hearing him talk with such a thick and surprisingly appealing Irish accent.

“Why don’t you come along, I’m sure you and I could find something interesting to do.” Angelus grinned evilly at this, he knew of a few things he’d like to do to the girl.

“Perhaps I will,” he said throwing the last of the rose carelessly to the ground. Then smiling he added, “But I think I’ll take the front door.” He disappeared and Buffy walked around to the front door to meet him. She waited for fifteen minutes. She didn’t know what to do or where to go. She had to find Holtz as soon as possible, and originally figured Angelus and Darla would lead her to Holtz. They didn’t seem to be very hunt oriented. They ate dinner with humans. Was it a ploy? A ploy to lure in victims? She shuddered at the thought. Maybe Angelus was in there feasting on some unsuspecting guest.

She hadn’t really known she was going to invite him with her when she said it and she knew her invitation hadn’t exactly been inviting. She had hoped that he would decline but somewhere deep inside she knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the ploy of going on a private walk late at night with what he likely thought was an easy victim.

Suddenly she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist, they pinned her arms to her chest tightly and she struggled to breath as she tried desperately to break from his grasp. He only laughed at her struggling. She had been thinking so hard she hadn’t heard him sneaking out front from the window she had come.

“Let’s go,” he said quickly beginning to drag Buffy across the street. They entered a dark looming cemetery. Oh great, Buffy thought, like she wasn’t scared enough. Angelus had strength Angel had never had. Or maybe he had just never shown it to her. Breathing became more of a struggle as he tightened his grip. They neared a looming mausoleum and he opened the massive door and hauled her inside. He threw her to the dusty ground and stood above her. She took in ragged and deep gulps of air to catch her breath. He frowned, “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know. What are we doing here?” she asked.

He frowned more seriously, “If you want to play games child, I have more appealing ones in mind.”

“Such as?” Buffy asked.

“Are you changing the subject on purpose, or are you just interested in playing with me?” he asked smiling as he took a step closer to her.

“A little of both actually.” Buffy stood and she enjoyed seeing Angelus step back and take fighting position.

“Who sent you?” Angelus asked again.

“I brought myself. No one sends me anywhere.”

“Okay,” he answered, “Then why are you here?”

“Are you scared?”

“Not particularly,” Angelus answered, he dropped his hands and boredom appeared on his face.

“Are you scared of Holtz?” she pressed.

“Holtz?” Angelus laughed, “You’re kidding, he can barely keep himself alive…” his smile broadened, “Holtz, that’s who sent you?”

“No,” Buffy said sternly, “Like I said, I brought myself and I don’t take shit so keep your distance.”

His expression lightened, he reached out his hand and wrapped his arm quickly around her waist, “That may be difficult.” His lips had barely touched her neck when she ripped herself from his grasp. He chuckled as she made her way to the door.

“Not as hard as you think,” she answered and flung the heavy door open. She didn’t want to know what he was doing during this time in his unlife. She wanted to go back to the future and know that she saved the life of a wonderful champion, not a cold-blooded murderous fiend. She stormed forward hoping he wasn’t following, knowing he probably was. She ran quickly, trying to hear his footfalls behind her but hearing only her heart pounding loudly in her head. She stopped suddenly in a small clearing and looked around. She expected him to leap from the trees but it didn’t happen. She was catching her breath and heard a horse running a few yards away.

***

She ran towards the noise of the horse with horrible thoughts running though her mind. She reached the edge of the trees and welcomed the openness of the cemetery again. She saw a few yards away a large man on a horse. Three others were behind him and he was getting off of the animal. He was addressing a man curled on the ground but she couldn’t clearly hear what he was saying. She knew he was Holtz and could mostly guarantee that the man on the ground was Angelus. So much for strong, she thought as she searched the earth for a weapon. She couldn’t kill Holtz with Angelus right there to witness and remember the whole thing, no telling what problems that would cause for the future she knew. She picked up a large rock and looked back to Holtz. He was kicking Angelus heavily and she could hear his moans from where she stood. “Come on Holtz, you can’t do any better then that?” he taunted. Holtz angrily kicked Angelus full force in the face and she imagined she could see the blood spurting from his head. She aimed quickly and threw the rock as hard as she could it skimmed past Holtz’s head as he moved and nailed his horse in the side. The spooked horse took off quickly for the woods leaving Holtz to fend for himself. He yelled for one man to go fetch his horse and Buffy was thankful that she had one less human to fight and possibly kill.

She quickly picked up another rock and hit her target squarely this time. A man riding towards her flew backwards off his horse and the horse ran in the other direction. She looked quickly for another rock and not seeing one she ran the few feet back towards the tree line. She jumped up and grabbed a dead tree branch and let her full weight force the branch to snap. Then she rolled onto her back and slammed the large branch at the last horse just before it ran her over. The horse jumped back and the man fell to the hard ground slightly shaken. She jumped up and punched him hard in the face knocking him out.

Then she looked back to where Angelus was. She ran towards him, hearing the returning horse hoofs in the trees. She grabbed him and yanked him off of the ground and was slightly satisfied to hear him moan in pain. She quickly threw his arm over her shoulder and ran towards the mausoleum they had been in. She opened the heavy marble door and threw him into the darkness. Looking out she just caught the glimpse of the two horses and Holtz emerging from the trees. She closed the heavy door and slid down the thick wooden plank that locked it then turned back to Angelus. Despite his wound he saw her concerned expression and began to laugh.

“What’s the matter darling? You look as though you cared if I die?” She frowned in reply and stepped towards him. She saw a large jagged tree limb was protruding just under his heart and peeking out of his back. She grabbed the edge of the bough and saw his eyes flicker in pain as she began to slowly pull it painfully from his chest.

“Whatever happened to a quick one?” he asked amusing only himself, then let out a small involuntary scream as she pulled the last of the branch from his body. He rolled onto his back and cupped his wound. “Don’t worry love, I won’t die.” “No kidding?” she said, “I might be able to help you with that.”

“You don’t have the courage.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she spat knowing she would never even consider killing him, but that didn’t mean he had to know. Buffy turned towards the door hearing the men pounding outside. She looked around frantically for an escape. There was no other way out.

“They can’t get in here,” Angelus answered as he suddenly jumped to his feet. “And you can’t get out.”

“One day you’ll come up with much better comebacks, but for now I’ll have to deal with mediocrity.”

Angelus looked slightly puzzled as he stepped towards her. The pounding was still continuing outside the heavy door. Buffy imagined the wood snapping in her minds eye. She was afraid to turn her back on Angelus to prepare for the fight she feared was about to arise. He smiled, “You look like a caged bird, pure, beautiful, helpless. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“Weren’t you dying a few seconds ago, can you go back to that please?”

“You obviously don’t want that, you saved my life. Why?” he questioned.

“I’m having some serious second thoughts about that, but since its too late and I… we are about to be attacked we might as well work together. I did not come here to kill you. I came here to kill Holtz.”

Angelus wiped his brow sarcastically, “Gosh, You really had me frightened, love. Thank goodness you cleared things up.”

Buffy heard the pounding lessen. She wondered if they planned to stay out there all night. She pulled a cross from her pocket and held it out at arms length. Angelus hissed at the surprise and took a few steps back suddenly, laughing. She stepped back so she could keep her eyes on the door and her eminent danger. He suddenly looked bored again and took a seat on a stone coffin. His long dark hair made him look even more evil then his future form. Buffy shuddered at the thought of how he had tortured her in the future. Was it worth saving him if there was a chance that could happen again? She knew that it was worth everything in the world to be in the same room, the same bed as him for only a moment. She would suffer it all over again just to be with him.

Angelus was staring at her confused. The pounding on the door had stopped. Angelus stood and walked towards the door. “Holtz?” he called. There was no answer, “Don’t play games with me man, I can smell your fear.” There was still no answer, “I can stay in here forever you know, you’ll have to eat. I have plenty of food in here.” He glared happily at Buffy who suddenly felt the tables turn for his behalf. Had she just given her life to him? He was stronger then she had remembered and maybe even stronger then her. She knew from the Watchers Diaries that he was extremely clever as well. He had tortured innocent woman for weeks, stalking them, cutting them apart piece by piece. Every atrocity known to man or demon he had committed and she loved him.

Buffy wondered if it were light out yet. She didn’t think that much time had gone by. She looked hesitantly towards Angelus. He nodded slightly, and stretched out a welcoming hand. She longed to go to him and seek deep comfort in him, knowing she could not. She took a few cold hard steps in the opposite direction but when she looked up from her feet a second later he was inches away from her. She shuddered involuntarily as his left hand swept her golden hair from her right shoulder. She forced herself to pull even further away from him and the cross in her hand hung limply as if her body was physically unable to raise it to him. He suddenly turned back to the door and listened intently. “They’re leaving.”

“Are you sure?” Buffy asked wondering if he could feel her breath, her words on the skin of his neck. She looked to the door but knew she wouldn’t hear the things outside that he would. He answered, “Positive, but perhaps we had better wait until I’m more then positive they are gone.” She noticed his longing look searching her tight clothes. Her heart was telling her to nod her head vigorously and jump into his arms but her brain was telling her to shake her head and run out the door and away from him as fast as she could. She had already made far too much contact with him as it was and she could be rewriting the future as they spoke but she knew that couldn’t be helped. “Where did you obtain such wonderful apparel?” he asked smiling.

“The mall,” she snapped and side glanced to the door. There was about two feet between her and him and about fifteen feet from him to the door.

“What’s your name love?” Angelus asked.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. “Summer,” she finally managed to stammer.

“Summer, I like that,” he smiled, “very innocent, no doubting you work for the good guys.” He took a menacing step toward her, “Do you feel trapped in here Summer?” he asked. “Are you beginning to doubt your judgment?” Another step closer, “Are you wondering what you were thinking saving my life?” He was so close to her now she didn’t think there was a part of her body that wasn’t touching his.

“No.” Buffy answered, stepping back twice to keep the distance between them, but she knew the space would eventually run out.

“You were thinking you love me,” he took a step closer, “you were thinking you need me,” another step, his features suddenly soft, “you were thinking you couldn’t let me die. That you would die without me. That you could make me change, make me love you.”

Buffy frowned, for a second she thought maybe he could read her thoughts. “I’m thinking you need an ego check buddy,” she didn’t want to chance a fight with him. She slowly sidestepped around him to the door, holding the cross at arms length. She used her hand behind her back to ease the heavy wooden plank from its cradle. She lost her awkward hold on it and it began to fall to the ground, slamming into her calves on its descend. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the obnoxiously loud crash she expected but it never came.

She slowly opened her eyes and felt his hand between her legs. She looked down and saw he had crouched and caught the plank. She stepped her foot from between his arms and smiling sexily turned and opened the door. She took no precautions as she walked out into the clearing. And didn’t hear a stir from the surrounding woods or the mausoleum as she continued through the graveyard to the street. She stopped once at the street and looked back to see the mausoleum door properly closed and no one around. She frowned and nervously headed back to the inn. She took her time getting there and climbed the rose climb back into the building then slowly crept to her room.

She was opening the door when a voice behind startled her, “Getting in a little late aren’t we?”

She slowly turned and confronted Spike. “I had a few problems to deal with.”

“So I heard,” he answered. “Midnight margaritas in a few minutes. I hope you’ll join us.”

“I think I’ll just go to bed, a little tired.” She frowned as she entered the room.

“We’ll just have to have all the fun without you.” Buffy sensed his menacing tone under the friendly invitation and figured she had better make an appearance incase the hosts decided to get personal with the guests. She closed the door and looked around the room. Satisfied that no one had been inside she began to get dressed to make her appearance.

***

Buffy looked once more at her figure in the light green dress before deciding that it was fit to wear. She would have rather gone down in her fighting clothes unless things got ugly but she knew she couldn’t do that. She then proceeded down the quiet hallway, then the stairs. Once at the bottom of the stairs she could hear noises coming from the kitchen. She slowly made her way into the dining room and saw candle light flickering from the doorway. She frowned and braced herself for entry. She walked to the doorway and looked inside.

Darla was seated at the table with the man from dinner, James, limp in her lap. His head was hanging at an odd angle and blood poured down his neck inside his torn shirtfront. His young wife Seveen was curled up and sobbing in a corner. Spike was dropping the body of the plump red haired woman to the floor. On the other side of the table the body of a young maid lay ravaged and bloody. She presumed that Angelus had probably claimed that life, and was thinking he was probably behind her as he quickly grabbed her arms behind her back.

She immediately cursed herself for having come, and having worn such a binding dress in the first place. Angelus looked over her shoulder and down the tight bodice of the light green gown, “My, don’t you look amazing.” Spike and Darla in full game face, covered with blood looked up smiling evilly at the new captive. “Nice of you to join us Slayer.” Darla purred standing from her seat and approaching the pair. Buffy tried desperately to free herself from his grip, not caring if she showed Angelus her full strength. As Darla neared her striking range Buffy used Angelus’s strong grip to fling her legs in the air and catch Darla in the jaw. She stepped back stunned and Angelus grinned, so close to Buffy’s neck she could feel his features change. “She’s so fiery, I like her much better then the last Slayer.”

“Who says she’s a Slayer?” Spike asked, “Why would the Slayer want to kill Holtz? Better yet why would the Slayer want to save you?”

Buffy couldn’t think straight, she had no idea what she was going to do, or what she had gotten herself into. She wanted to cry as Angelus pushed his strong body even closer to hers. “Isn’t it obvious? She’s in love with me,” Angelus replied happily, “William, you worry far too much for a man of your age, it doesn’t suit.”

Darla gripped her jaw, “I think she’s much more pathetic then the last Slayer myself.” She turned and walked quickly toward Seveen, “Let’s just give her a test hmm?”

Buffy felt Angelus’s body stir with excitement pressed against her. “I was planning on testing her in my own way,” he said pressing a hasty kiss in the hollow of her neck, “But have it your way for now Darla.” Darla caught hold of the blind woman by her soft pretty hair and pulled her over to the table. The woman struggled desperately to get away from her captor. The tears on her face glistened in the candlelight and Buffy knew she could never forgive herself for allowing them to do this.

“What’s the matter doll?” Darla asked, “You can’t see. How can you be scared?” Seveen sobbed loudly, “You killed my James, you’re an animal, why shouldn’t I be scared?”

“Maybe I will spare you…” Darla said slowly. She began stripping the woman down before all the prying hungry eyes in the room. “Maybe I just want to play with you,” Darla cooed licking the girl’s face and running a few fingers between her legs. The blind girl shivered and shook with fear and unwanted pleasure from the demon’s movements. Buffy tried again to pull herself from Angelus’s grip. She kicked her feet but he only enjoyed it more. She heard the seams around her arms rip as she pulled frantically.

It wasn’t long before Darla had the girl in the grips of an intense and devastating orgasm and when she pulled her fingers out she scratched open the girls insides and her hand was covered with blood. She licked her fingers clean. “Then again,” Darla said nearing her preys neck, “Maybe I won’t.” She sunk her teeth quickly into the woman’s fair neckline, and in a few painful minutes she was gone. Darla let her naked abused body sink to the floor, “I do believe she had an evil taste in her, it appears I’ve done the world a favor. Pity.”

Angelus frowned as Buffy went limp in his arms, “It appears my girl isn’t as tough as she appeared.”

“I could have told you so,” Darla said. “William comes home saying he’s encountered the Slayer and everyone wants to believe. How could a new Slayer have been called to the same place? And only months after we killed a Slayer here? Impossible! Besides we had heard those rumors about China.”

Spike interrupted her tirade, “Well we’ll just have to wait until she wakes and find out the truth, but the way she fights, she has to be a Slayer.”

“Either way,” Angelus said, laying her body on the table, “She’s rather intriguing.” He ignored William’s contradictions for the moment.

“I think she’s weak,” Darla said. Angelus turned to Darla and began to uselessly reprimand her. Darla frowned and put her hands on her hips disapproving of her childes attitude. Suddenly the girl leapt up on the table and just missing the high ceiling she jumped over both Angelus and Darla and ran out of the kitchen, through the dining room throwing chairs in her path, and into the lobby. She pounded into the door, hearing the three vampires not far behind her. She slammed the door open and ran as fast as she could, not knowing where she was going or where they were. She didn’t stop or slow for nearly twenty minutes. Then she suddenly stopped full force and spun quickly around. There was no one there. She looked frantically on all sides of her, knowing they were out there somewhere lurking in the shadows, waiting for her.

She wanted so desperately to cry in his arms. She felt so foolish. She had been foolish to come back here, foolish to try and change the facts. But if her friends could bring her back to life because they needed her, then why couldn’t she bring back the one she needed? She looked down at her tattered dress. The long skirt was ripped halfway up, and the straps had broken and only the tightness of the fabric against her chest kept her covered. She was in the middle of the road. What road, she didn’t know or care. She just wanted to be as far away from her doom, her greatest mistake, as she could be.

She looked around and saw the cemetery as her only sanctuary. She had seen Holtz there earlier and maybe she could kill him and get out of that place as soon as possible. She listened intently for the sound of horses as she wondered through the rows of nameless stones. She had blood down her front and had no idea when she had got it or who’s it was. Her dress was shredded in various places and she knew she probably looked like hell, like she was beaten in more ways then one. She felt as bad as she looked. Just then she heard the light sound of a twig breaking behind her. She twisted around fearfully.

“It’s about time,” Darla laughed, “I’ve been following you for miles now love. Just think. I had to step on a twig to get your full attention.” Buffy frowned at her foe. Darla looked like a complete maniac, dried blood clung to the pale skin of her neck and chest and the front of her white lace dress was tainted with blood.

“What do you want? Did you come here to kill off the competition? Scared your boy toy wants me instead?” Buffy taunted.

“I wouldn’t quite say that,” Darla said, “Actually, I came to get him a present.”

“That’s not necessary love, I can get it myself.” Angelus stepped out from the trees. Buffy didn’t have to turn to know he was a few feet behind her. She felt the air stir as he ran towards her, going for her arms again, but she wouldn’t make the same stupid mistake more then twice. She ducked from his grasp and wrapped her hand around a stick that was lying at her feet. Then she ran as quickly as she could away from the pair of evil vampires. She was too encompassed by fear to turn around, but wasn’t at all surprised to feel strong arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her to the ground in a rough tackle. She struggled to turn around under the heavy body, and came face to evil face with Darla.

Everything was in slow motion as she felt Darla’s teeth quickly and skillfully sink into her soft neck. Her lips pulsated as they pumped her blood from the dual wounds into her mouth. Buffy immediately felt light headed and nauseous. She closed her eyes and slammed the stick into Darla’s back. She opened her eyes to see her enemy pull her bloody face from her neck and look in confusion before she was obliterated into gray dust. Buffy looked up to see Angelus standing over her, his face filled with anger and surprise.

Buffy jumped quickly to her feet, trying to take advantage of his shock. But she wasn’t fast enough and he quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. He ripped the stick roughly from her hand and threw it to the ground. Then he turned her violently. “You will pay for that!” he screamed angrily. “You will lose everyone close to you then I’ll make you take her place!” Buffy shuddered and began to cry. Hearing the rage and hatred in the voice of the man she loved was too much for her to stomach. “That’s right,” he went on menacingly, “You will take her place in our bed, on your knees before me.”

“Never,” Buffy stammered and managed to pull away from his grasp. She ran into the mausoleum she had shared with him only hours before. She had just managed to close the door when his powerful body collided with it. He pushed it halfway open and she braced herself, with full drive and stamina and managed to push it closed again. Suddenly he wasn’t pushing anymore. She searched the stone floor for the wood that had locked it before. She noticed it was lying against the opposite wall.

“Think you can get over there and get that wood before I get in?” he asked lightly from the other side. “I wouldn’t make a wager on that, but I hear from Spike you’re quite the gambler.”

Buffy looked down at the bodice of her dress. She held the door closed with one shoulder and pulled a piece of paper from the inside of her dress with the opposite hand. She glanced at the beautiful blue diamond decorating her neck, the blood that ran down from her wound to her neck. She knew she had to get away from him. She had to get home where she was safe, much safer then here at least. She knew if he got in there she would never be able to escape him. She was thinking deeply, she had failed to kill Holtz but she had killed Darla and that would alter the future.

If Darla died Angel would never be able to have Conner. Buffy’s body chilled at the thought, she was angry at herself for thinking that it was a good thing that Angel wouldn’t have a son with Darla. Then she thought even further about what had happened the night Angel had died. Holtz had kidnapped Conner and that had thrown Angel off his game. If Conner were never born, Angel would not have been distracted and would have killed Holtz easily. She knew it was a long shot but she had to try. She couldn’t stay here anymore.

She concentrated on the time period she knew and loved and began to read the words from the spell. Angelus hearing she was doing something began to force the door open again bellowing all the gruesome defiling things he had planned for her at the top of his menacing voice.

Willow had claimed that you didn’t have to know what the Latin meant to read the spell but Buffy was feeling quite different. She leaned all her strength and body weight into keeping the door closed as Angelus tried to force his way in. “What’s that, a spell? I know Latin doll,” Angelus said, “And you’re saying it all wrong.”

Buffy wouldn’t let herself be swayed. She continued stumbling through the page as quickly as she could while barely keeping him out. After the first stanza the blue whirlwind she had seen when she had come to the past was beginning to form a few feet away from her. At one point she thought he was unquestionably going to make his way in, but she managed to stomp his foot out of the crack in the door and push it closed all the way. She continued to say the spell until she was done. She looked up at the whirlwind and watched as it neared her, then begin to circle around her. She was the center point of the swirling colorful tornado. She was reluctant to close her eyes should the spell falter and her enemy come in ready to fight. She continued to watch the swirling light until her eyes could no longer take the brilliance. She blinked a few times and when she opened her eyes completely she was back in her kitchen.

***

Angelus felt the weight holding the door closed disappear a second before he flew into the dark mausoleum and landed face first on the cold floor. He stood there for a minute looking around angrily. This girl was going to pay for that! She was going to die slower then he had ever made anyone die. He looked around for her angrily. “Witch!” he screamed. “Where are you little witch?” Had the spell worked? Had she disappeared? But even so, he doubted her scent would vanish completely like it had. It was almost as if she had never existed, which he knew was not true. He thoroughly looked over the empty tomb and combed the graveyard then angrily went back to the hotel, barely avoiding the sunlight that was quickly coming.

“William!” he screamed up the stairwell. The young vampire appeared quickly at the top of the steps, wearing only pants, his hair tousled. “I see Dru has returned,” Angelus answered jealously taking in Spike’s appearance.

“She has,” Spike, answered, “Where is your girl at? Summer?”

“She’s vanished!” Angelus rasped, passing Spike on his way to her room. “She was saying a spell, then the next thing I know she’s completely gone.” He pulled a ring of master keys from his pocket and found the one to her room. When he opened the door he found she had not been back there. Spike followed him back into the room.

“That is very interesting attire,” Spike stated glancing at the black leather clothes Angelus was holding up. Angelus frowned and threw the clothes back on the chair they were on. Then he went over to her unmade bed and lightly rubbed the sheets she had been sleeping on hours ago. Then he lifted the pillow to smell her and smiled at what he found underneath.

***

“Willow! Dawn!” Buffy jumped from the table and began to scream the names of those dearest to her. She looked out the window and saw it was the middle of the night, about the same time as it had been before she left. Dawn would be in bed. On her way up the stairs she saw a lot was different about the house. It lacked many sentimental adornments that it had held previously. No family photos on the walls. No decorative carpets or mirrors. There wasn’t even a television in the living room, only a couch, a loveseat, a chair and a coffee table, all of which seemed more worn. The windows were covered with black blinds and then thick black curtains, which did not allow any light, moon or sun to enter. Maybe Angel lived with her, she thought with a fluttering heart.

She went to the first bedroom, which was Dawn’s and slowly opened the door. The room was dark and she didn’t want to turn the light on and risk waking her sleeping sister. She slowly, carefully crept over to the bed. She could easily make out the shadows in the room but all the furniture was different. There was a simple small bed with a person occupying it, an end table, and a bureau and closet. The walls were not adorned with posters like Dawn’s room had been. She went over to the bed anyway and gently pulled down the cover to see Spike lying in the bed. “Spike!” she complained before she could stop herself.

“Buffy?” he asked questioningly.

“Where’s Dawn?”

His face turned serious, “Go back to bed Buffy, you’re dreaming again.”

Fear stuck Buffy in her heart, “Where is she Spike!”

“Buffy Dawn is gone, she’s been gone for a longtime, you know that.” He sighed and turned back over in bed pulling the cover back up to his shoulder, “Go back to bed.”

Buffy couldn’t believe it. Dawn was dead? She didn’t know what to do. She had to go back. It hadn’t worked out right. “When did she die?” Buffy asked.

“What?” Spike said, “She’s not dead.” He sat up, a worried expression on his face, “She went to live with her father remember. Are you feeling okay?” Buffy felt her heart relax, if Dawn was only with their father she could easily get her back. Why were things so plain? She didn’t understand. Why was Spike living with them? Did he have the chip? She didn’t want to ask him anything else, keep his alarm to a minimum. He looked at her Victorian dress and asked her about it, but she quickly excused it as a costume party where suspected vamps were crashing. He didn’t look like he believed her but she didn’t think he looked like he knew what the dress was really all about either. She said she was sorry for disturbing him and left the room.

Then she went to the next room which had been her mother’s, and then Willow’s. Was her mother alive? She didn’t let her hope form because she knew whether or not Angel was alive would not change her mother’s disease. She opened the door and found that this room had a few adornments unlike the rest of the house. A few familiar posters hung on the walls and witchcraft paraphernalia covered the surfaces of the end table and bureau. She found Willow and Tara sleeping soundly and comforted at the sight quickly left the room. At least they were together in this future.

When Buffy went to the next room she found it was still hers. It lacked the personal touches it had had in the past but it was still set up the same. She went to her closet to change her clothes and found that most of the clothing it contained were as plain as the rest of the house. Tight fitting black shirts, lose comfortable pants, no skirts, and no dresses. She sighed and put on a pair of comfortable khaki cargo pants, a loose short-sleeved black V-neck shirt and black boots. She threw the dress in the bottom of the closet and put on a pair of running sneakers. She went over to look in the mirror and almost screamed out loud at the sight of herself. She had black tips in her long blonde hair, which was now wrapped in loose little dreadlocks, and a long scar running from the bottom of her right eye to the bottom of her right cheek. The blue stone that took her to the past and this future still clung low on her neck. She put her hair in a ponytail and went downstairs.

She grabbed the battered old phone from the wall and dialed Giles phone number but there was no answer so she decided to go to his house and find out everything she needed to know. She found her weapons chest in the closet under the stairs. There were many other weapons there too. She grabbed two stakes and some holy water that she put in her pockets. She found a wallet on her end table. It was black leather with a long silver chain. Inside was a twenty-dollar bill, some change, a MAC card that she hadn’t had in the past life, so that was a plus. Also a few ID’s with her picture, none of which stated she was Buffy Summers. One called her Buffy Elizabeth, another Buffy Anne, the other one Summer Richards. She looked at the MAC card and saw it didn’t say Buffy Summers either but Buffy Anne.

She would figure out what that was all about later. She hooked the wallet to her pants, put it in her pocket and ran down the stairs to go to Giles’ house, hoping that he still lived where she had known him too, and that he hadn’t gone to England like in her future. She smiled when she found a set of keys on the table before the door. She thought maybe she would like this life even better then her past one. She fumbled with the many locks on the door. Then she locked the door back behind her and slowly turned to see a sparkling black Jetta in the driveway. The windows were heavily tinted and there were no license plates. What was she some kind of criminal? No tags, fake names, tinted windows. She decided against driving the obviously illegal car and began to walk in the direction of Giles’ place.

She noticed with fear that many of the houses in her neighborhood were rundown, destroyed, or home to squatters. Her own home she saw was in desperate need of repair, the porch was rotting, the railings had fallen off and just lay in the front yard almost covered by overgrown grass and weeds, and the paint was peeling everywhere. She saw that many of the upstairs windows were boarded up. She had to figure out what was going on. She had to talk to Giles.

She walked down the streets as quickly as possible, often fearing that she was being followed. She would quickly turn around and find that no one was there. When she reached the cemetery she knew she was being followed. But she couldn’t see anyone. “Who’s there?” she called out angrily. “I really don’t have time for this!” She waited for a moment but there was no answer so she quickly continued. She saw that the gravestones that she had memorized in all her years of patrolling had increased considerably in size. There were much more and they seemed to be smaller and plainer and squeezed together. Many of the death dates were within the last four years. She wondered if there had been some sort of natural disaster or dark thing that had caused all the deaths. She was halfway through the cemetery when she heard the footsteps right behind her. She turned quickly and saw that he was standing right behind her.

“Angel?” she asked slowly. He looked the same and he wasn’t wearing leather pants. So, so far so good.

“Buffy,” he said slowly, “Where are you going?” he asked. He put both hands on her shoulders gently. She took a step back, “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, “Where’s your car?”

“I um,” Buffy frowned, “I was just heading over to talk to Giles.”

“Giles?” he asked. She wanted to hug him so hard, she knew he had to be good. She had to contain her joy. She didn’t want to scare him she just wanted to straighten things out.

“Giles,” she said, “You never met him?” she asked.

“Buffy, Giles went back to England a month ago. A counsel thing,” Angel touched her shoulder again, “Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

Buffy shook her head, “No, no I’m not. I have no idea what’s going on, everything’s different and confusing. Dawn is in L.A., Spike’s in my house, Willow and Tara are back together, and the house is so different, the neighborhood…” she gestured with her arms, “look around, it’s rundown and horrible. Can’t I protect this place anymore?”

Angel wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, “It’ll be okay, and we’ll deal with it, right now we need to get you home.” Angel took her arm and began to lead her out of the graveyard. When they reached the broken gate a group of vamps were waiting. Buffy quickly grabbed the stakes from her pocket and throwing one to Angel she began to dust the vamps with her familiar speed and skill.

Angel knew with surety that it was the same Buffy, the same Slayer. He didn’t help her kill the vampires and when she finished she looked at him questioningly. “What’s wrong? I could’ve used your help.”

Angel smiled, “I’m sorry, I just love to watch you, you know that, and it looked to me like you were getting along just fine.”

Buffy smiled, she was so glad he was alive. “Where are we going?” Buffy asked when he began to lead her away again.

“Home,” Angel said simply and began to lead her to the Bronze, where he had an underground apartment.

***

When they reached the club Buffy smiled to see the familiar line going into the club even late at night. The music drifting outside sounded a little harder then the usual music but she didn’t care. Angel held her close as they passed the bouncer, completely ignorant of the impatient line. Inside she saw that many of the customers at the bar and on the dance floor were vampires. They grinned evilly and menacingly at her and Angel. She felt like she were floating through a dream and that she would wake up and everything would be back to the way things were before Angel had died. It couldn’t be real, he couldn’t be right there with her.

A pretty young brunette wearing a sheer black tank top and tight black leather pants, with peircings on her tongue, naval, nipples, and all up her ears stopped in front of Angel and grabbed the front of his pants. He glared at her and pushed her away irritably. Buffy took a step towards the angry girl but she just flashed her teeth in a defensive growl and went onto the dance floor. Buffy didn’t follow for fear of losing Angel in the crowd. She ran a few twisted steps to be behind him again and he smiled and put his hand out for her to take. His fingers were cold but strong and comforting like they had always been. She wanted to ask him so many questions, like did she really live here with him and about Giles and Xander and Anya. He stopped at the door to his apartment. A place she knew well. A place she hadn’t been for years. He pulled out the keys and unlocked the door. She followed him inside. Right away she knew she lived there, it just felt like home, and if she lived there then Angel was definitely not evil.

She saw framed pictures of her and her mom, her and Dawn, her and Willow all over the living room which she remembered as being void of sentiment. She began to walk around and look at the items intently; the pictures were taken from her house. She must have brought everything when she moved in with him. He had taken his coat and flung it across the back of the couch and she noticed he had been watching her intently for a while. “You can’t lie to me Buffy, I know something’s wrong, I always do,” he had approached her and put his hands around her waist gently, taking her breath away. He rested his head on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “Tell me what’s wrong, I’ll fix everything.”

She felt confident that he would. She knew that he would, like he always had. He led her to the couch to talk. She couldn’t believe she was about to tell him everything. She could literally hear her conscience banging in her brain, begging her not too, but her heart was strongly attached to this man still and she had to tell him. He held her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes barely showing astonishment at her story. When she had told him everything up to the point where she saw him in the cemetery he asked her if they had been lovers in her past life. She pulled herself together and told him they had not been. She knew that if he was good the curse still held and that they could not be lovers now so why discuss it.

“Tell me everything about your life?” he said caressing her cheek.

Buffy was completely swept in by his trust, “You believe me? You don’t think I’m crazy or sick?”

He smiled and gently kissed her lips, “I would know if you were lying darling, I can hear your heart beat.”

She pulled back scared of the consequences of getting too close. She remembered how close her and Angel had been, but that was before he had turned, before they knew the consequences all too well. Did he know the consequences? Had something similar to her experience happened here?

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said suddenly. Buffy hadn’t realized her thoughts were showing on her face, she smiled, “No, no, it’s nothing.”

“I would hardly call it that, you’ve been through an awful lot from the sound of your story and you have every right to be confused and upset. You didn’t come back to the world you had expected… the me you had expected.”

She could hear tinges of pain in his voice. She put her hand back on his comfortingly, “I’m sure I’ll get used to this world, and I’m so happy you believe me.”

“Of course I do,” he said, he kissed her on the head, then stood and gently pulled her to her feet. “You’re tired, you need some sleep. You can jump in the shower and I’ll get your favorite pajama’s and the bed ready for you.”

Buffy’s heart jumped at the word bed but she couldn’t blame him for trying to comfort her and act normal. She remembered when Angel had left her because he thought he could never give her what she needed. Could this sweet Angel ever hurt her like that?

She went into the bathroom and showered, then wrapped a big soft silk black robe that had been hanging on the bathroom door around her small body and toweled her head. She was looking for a toothbrush that might be hers when he just walked right in the bathroom. That was definitely surprising. He hadn’t even knocked. She knew that was something couples that lived together did. He showed her the toothbrush she used. She was brushing her teeth in the mirror and though she couldn’t see him reflecting in it she could feel him moving behind her, hear his clothing drop to the floor. Her heart was telling her all she had to do was turn around to see that amazing body again, all she had to do was put an arm out to touch it, loosen a knot and step forward to claim it. She struggled against this urge and his lingering made matters much harder. She imagined she could feel his body heat on hers but that was impossible. She was running out of teeth to brush when he turned the shower on and climbed inside. She thanked her lucky stars and got out of the bathroom as quick as possible.

She went into the bedroom and found a pair of loose black silk pajama shorts and a matching camisole with a low-cut lace neck. She found some more of her clothes in a drawer that he had left open for her. There wasn’t much in the drawer, but enough to know she had at least stayed there a lot, mostly pajamas and undergarments, a few shirts and a pair of black leather pants. Above that on the dresser top she saw a bottle of perfume, lotion, and a hairbrush were neatly standing in a line. She quickly dressed then brushed her hair. The perfume smelled so wonderful, like nothing she had ever smelled before so she couldn’t hold back a little, then she used the lotion on her legs and elbows and put everything back in its careful place. She looked at the bed cautiously. Should she sleep in the bed or go out on the couch to signal to him she didn’t want any contact.

She frowned looked at the maroon silk sheets, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and she didn’t want him to know he had lost his Buffy forever but she just wasn’t ready to be so close to him. She went out on the couch and pulled a blanket from the back down over her and began to go over the events of the last few days again in her head. She realized she hadn’t really slept in almost four days. Once her brain had rationalized this she fell into a deep sleep.

Angel finally came out of the shower wearing a pair of black sweatpants and toweling his wet hair. He loved late night showers they were so invigorating. He stopped when he saw her curled up sound asleep on the couch; she looked so sweet and innocent despite her new rugged appearance, which wasn’t new to him. She looked like she was completely comfortable here and he loved that. He looked at the clock and still hearing the party raging outside and knowing she would be asleep for a while he quickly dressed and went out the door.

When he finally came home he noticed she had been to the bathroom and was back asleep on the couch. She probably hadn’t even noticed that he hadn’t been in bed, probably hadn’t even looked. He knew why she was acting so strangely. He remembered when she had been in the past. He could never forget her, and the first time he saw her he knew who she was instantly, but she hadn’t known him. He left that brewing in the back of his mind knowing that one day his Slayer would know she had met him before. She had told him once that she felt like he had always been lurking in the shadows of her life and she never got a chance to know why. When this new Buffy came back the other one disappeared forever and he had to admit he was just fine with that, in fact that was what he had been waiting for for years.

He knew that the Angel she had known had been much different; the world she had known had been different too. He wanted to know everything about her world just didn’t know how to ask without scaring her away. He smiled and gently lifted her from the couch into his muscular arms. She didn’t stir as he easily carried her to his bed and laid her down. He took the cover she had been wrapped in and threw it over a chair. Then he stripped down and put the sweatpants back on almost waiting for her eyes to flash open and for her to runaway but it never happened. He smiled reassuringly and climbed in next to her, covering them up. He pulled her close, claiming her, showing the world she was his. He smiled content for the moment and fell quickly asleep.

He was woken in the early morning when she began to stir beneath him. He heard her saying his name lightly, but it was different, there was definite conviction behind it. She said that she loved him and that she had almost lost him. He smiled as a strong bond formed between them and he could see everything. He could see them making love, he could almost feel himself losing his returned soul, torturing her, killing Jenny Calendar, he could see through his eyes the battle they had, he watched and almost felt himself slam the sword home, feel as she countered the butt to his face. Then was the grand finale, and this was good. He smiled, he felt his soul being returned, felt the confusion of rebirth, and exchanged endearing words with the Slayer only to have her kiss him goodbye and murder him with tear filled eyes, which they shared.

He was jerked from the vision when he felt her jolt beneath him. She was sitting upright in bed her eyes wide open and sweat coating her body. He was at her side in a second, copying the dream, telling her he was there for her, and that she was fine, surprised at his own calmness. She smiled trustingly and they held each other tightly, he didn’t think he had ever been so happy in his life. Maybe her Angel had been so happy but that would all change soon, he wanted to make love to her and he would.

***

She hadn’t wanted to be in the same bed with him, but now that she was there she couldn’t deny that it felt right and comfortable and she couldn’t pull herself to rip both their hearts out by moving back to the couch. She let him hold her a little longer and she held him too, comforting them both. Then she lay back down and turning her back to him began to fall asleep again. Before she drifted off she felt his arm creep around her waist and hold her to him and she was comforted further. She prayed that he wouldn’t push. Her body wanted to make love to him so desperately and in reality, since the first time she had been with him her body had always called out for him even when she had substituted others she had always wanted him. Her brain and her heart were a different story, although she still loved him her smarts and feelings did not want to be hurt again by the curse. Her heart and her brain still loved Angel deeply, just not as much as her body longed for his and not at the cost she knew she would be paying for a few hours of bliss.

When she woke she turned over, and ran her hand over the place where he had been. It was an unconscious act and when she did it a horrible sense of dread overcame her and she opened her eyes and shot up in the bed. Where was he? She heard noises coming from the other room so she got out of bed and grabbed some clothes from the dresser then went to get changed in the bathroom. When she rounded the doorway and entered the small living room/kitchen, she saw Angel getting dressed. She held her breath and watched against her better judgment and when he was clothed she cleared her throat and casually entered the room. Angel smiled lightly and finished buttoning his dark blue silk shirt. He saw that she was on her way to the bathroom and stopped her; lightly taking the clothes from her arms he kissed her cheek. She could smell his minty fresh breath, and blushed slightly knowing hers was far from fresh. “I was just going to get changed,” she said reaching for the clothes.

Angel held the leather pants away from her, “Don’t you wanna go to your place and get some clean ones?” he asked.

Not wanting to sound different Buffy nodded and followed him back in the bedroom. She put her clothes from the previous night back on and threw up her ratty hair. Then they put on their coats and he led her out the door and into the hallway. She could hear noise coming from the club. Angel pushed her behind him and entered the room wearing a wary countenance. He passed the group of vamps with Buffy pressed against his back.

The brunette from the night before took a challenging step forward and hissed at Buffy. Buffy drew her stake but Angel grabbed her hand strongly in mid swing. “Not yet,” he said then glanced at the large group. Buffy thought perhaps he didn’t think they could take the whole group. She frowned and continued to follow him out, glaring one last time at the grinning brunette who blew her a menacing kiss.

They walked under a long canvas awning past several cars until they got to his. It was still daytime but not for too long. Angel’s leather duster had a big thick hood that draped over his face and protected him from the sun. He still drove the 1967 black GTX Plymouth convertible. She smiled as he opened her door helped her in and then closed her door. He walked around and slowly got in his. The top was up. He quickly backed out of the alley and headed towards Buffy’s house. When he pulled up to the curb the reality of her home was visible in the semi-light. The house looked destroyed beyond repair, along with every house on the block. Her car was gone. She didn’t know if she could really miss it since she had never had it. Angel got out and was coming to help her out but she got out herself and they quickly headed towards the house.

“Willow and Tara are probably just grocery shopping. You know they are much safer in your car, no one would think of stopping anyone in your car around here,” Angel answered remembering Buffy’s questioning glance in the car. Buffy nodded understandingly, and removed her keys from her pocket. She found the right key on instinct and opened the door. She turned and saw him hovering just outside the threshold.

“You’ve never been invited in?” she asked.

He looked a little angry. “You didn’t invite me because Dawn and Will don’t like the idea.”

“And neither do I mate,” said a voice from well inside the house. Buffy turned and saw Spike standing at the kitchen counter pouring a blood bag into a coffee mug with a straw. Spike, him and his knowledge and two cents really pissed her off. “Come on in Angel,” she said defiantly and he walked quickly past her and through the doorway pulling the hood quickly off his head.

He glared at Spike and wrapped his arm around her shoulders after she shut the door. Then she went upstairs with him following and Spike said nothing further. When they went into the bedroom Angel looked around at the small room intently. He had never seen her room. This was the room of his mate, his passion, his only interest. Like her, it lacked many girlish traits. She had given up on ruffles and fairy tales long ago, he knew that much. He walked over and sat on the bed and watched her as she pulled out an outfit from the closet. She told him she was going to shower and he told her he would be fine waiting.

When she had left and closed the door behind her he walked over and saw the old dress rolled in a ball at the bottom of the closet. He picked it up and saw the rips and fresh dirt. He held it to his face and deeply inhaled the sweet smell of his home. He longed to be back there but he had come all this way to find her and now he had. He could also smell the remains of his sire and the thought of her brought anger to his happiness.

He was almost positive Spike had warned the others and they had taken off in Buffy’s car. He didn’t care. He had what he wanted and there was no way Spike would convince her he wasn’t what she thought. When she had told her story; that she had been in love with a soulful him in her other life, he almost laughed. It was all so outrageous yet so perfect. She had the fanciful idea in her head that he was a perfect… Angel. She had gone into the past to save his life and had completely changed her own.

The best part was she was completely naïve to the dangers of this new world. No normal people lived in Sunnydale, only her and her gang and people that even the vampires and demons wouldn’t kill. She had no idea that he had killed her watcher and put that scar on her face. They had been fighting as mortal enemies since she had been called and he had been biding his time, waiting for her to come back from the past. Since he had met her all those years ago he had traveled all over the world looking for her. He knew she had to be into witchcraft or know someone who was to conger up such a potent spell. He had heard her spell and found it in a book some fifty years later.

He had just about given up hope completely when he saw the first gun. Then he knew she must have come from farther in the future. He had heard a powerful new Slayer was being called in the United States so he came to see her. There was no mistaking that she was his girl, she was younger and rougher but it was a rough world.

He was shaken from his thoughts when she came into the room. She had a tight black tee shirt and loose baggy pants on, but that was pretty much all she owned. She sat on the bed to slip on her socks and boots and he was glad she didn’t fuss with her hair or make up because he would feel a lot better about the situation when he was out of the house and away from the only being who knew what was going on. She grabbed her coat and quickly went down the stairs and started towards the door with Angel close by her.

“Slayer?” Spike’s voice called from the kitchen. Angel sighed as Buffy went in to see what he wanted. He was sitting at a cluttered kitchen table with a small black and white TV propped on his lap.

“What?” she asked impatiently. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing but she felt the need to get out of the dirty embarrassing house and be with him in his small, clean, comfortable apartment.

“Exactly what are you doing?” he asked with his bitter accent. “It’s not everyday you’re seen chumming with the likes of him. What gives? Is it evil vampire appreciation week and I never got the memo?”

“He’s not evil,” Buffy said, “And it’s not like I have to explain myself to you!” God she hated Spike. Just who the hell did he think he was?

“Oh right! Cause killing the Watcher, that’s a Good Guy thing!”

Buffy just stared. She had no idea what he meant by that, ‘killing the Watcher’?

“Well shit on me!” Spike said suddenly jumping from his chair and almost dropping the television to the floor. “You’re not you! You’re the you he’s been waiting for! And we all thought he was mad!”

Buffy sighed, “Spike you of all people should know Angel has a soul, from the Romany Gypsies.”

“Slayer what the hell is wrong with you! Angelface is as soulless as any vampire!” Spike didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to describe it to her. “You went back in the past, I remember you, and so does he! He’s been waiting for you! Don’t you understand? This is a lie! He has no soul and he wants to kill you!”

Buffy’s face turned white, “But, but I… my stuff was at his place,” she protested.

“What stuff?” Spike asked, “You don’t have any stuff.”

“Perfume and clothes and pictures, and a toothbrush!”

“He’s obsessed with you and some of the pictures were stolen when you moved Dawn with her father! But you don’t have any of that other stuff! He has a mate that lives with him, she has brown hair, evil little bit.”

Spike suddenly went wide-eyed. Buffy was afraid to turn around but knew she would eventually have to.

***

After the first word from Spike in the kitchen Angel pulled out his cell phone and called one of his boys. They had spotted Willow and Tara in the Slayer’s car on the way out of town and stopped them at Angel’s previous orders. They were bringing them to a holding cell when he called. Angel had them bring the two to the Slayer’s house quickly. He had a feeling things were about to get very interesting.

***

“This one’s cute,” Angel said in the doorway. He had his hands wrapped firmly around Tara’s pale neck. Her face was turning red but she was able to breath enough to stay conscious. Buffy turned in horror and met the cold glittering eyes of her mortal enemy. Beyond him about five vamps were holding Willow back. “Buff, tell Red that if she doesn’t stop fighting and if she tries anything her tasty little girlfriend will just be the beginning of my meal, K?”

“I think she heard you,” Buffy answered slowly and Willow stopped fighting and began to cry as the five vamps clamped her arms and waist roughly.

“You know,” Angel commented running his finger down Tara’s cheeks slowly following the path of her noiseless tears, “I’m very very disappointed that things didn’t go as I had planned. I was thoroughly enjoying the fact that you thought I was completely harmless. But, I’ll enjoy this way of torture just fine too!”

“What happened?” Buffy asked sadly. “Was it something I did? Did I make you happy somehow? Or were you never cursed to begin with?”

Angel smiled that evil smile that tore her heart out much easier then he could ever do by hand. “Now Buff, I understand what you mean by that, but see,” he pointed with the knife towards everyone else in the room, “See, they don’t understand what you mean, so I’m gonna explain and catch everyone up to date, and if you feel the need to make an outbursts,” he returned the knife point to Tara’s throat. His hand clamping around her mouth stifled her cries. “I would curb it.”

“Over a hundred years ago, when I was still relatively young, I came across a young woman who intrigued me. She was beautiful, exotic, and strong. I had known women before, and I thought a little chase would have her dead and out of my system. I played with her for a while, but she was strong, she was a Slayer, and she killed my sire, Darla, then used a spell to disappear into thin air.” He winked at Buffy and the rest of the room stared at him for the rest of the story. “I found some items of hers,” he pulled the gun from his pocket and threw it to her feet. “Don’t bother Buff, it’s not loaded,” he cautioned before abruptly continuing, “Some items that I had never seen before. For years I searched the globe for this mysterious woman, the yearn to kill and possess stronger then ever before. I had just about given up hope of ever finding her when I heard of a beautiful and powerful Slayer, in Sunnydale, the most powerful ever, it was said, and I knew whether this was my girl or not I had to have a piece of her. But something told me, Buff, you were my girl.”

“Never!” She said lunging towards him. Spike grabbed her and pulled her back and Angel let the tip of the knife cut into Tara’s soft neck and she cried out.

“I asked you nicely not to interrupt. I’ve been waiting over a hundred years for this I think I deserve my moment don’t you?” She didn’t give him the courtesy of an answer, “Anyway! So I came here, and sure enough there you were. But it was obvious you didn’t know who I was, not yet anyway. Over the years I had learned that the words of the spell you used belonged to a potent time traveling spell only a most powerful witch could perform, yup Red, that’s you.” Willow looked questioningly at Buffy, the tears from her eyes had stopped flowing but they still mapped lines on her white face. “So I was patient, waiting for the one day that things would be different, I just knew they would be different. I wanted you to remember just what you did to me, to Darla, before I cut into you Buff!” His voice was grating like a maniac now. He no longer had the control he was known for, like he would snap at any minute and kill them all.

He suddenly returned to his gleeful self and glanced around the room, “I see everyone is still confused, so why don’t you tell your story huh Buff?” Buffy looked around. Spike was still holding her back and when she shrugged out of his arms to pace the kitchen Angel lifted his knife back to Tara’s neck roughly and Willow cried out and began to struggle again.

“My story,” Buffy began. “Well you know, mom met dad in high school, and they were in love and you know what happens when two people are in love. There’s this whole melding of bodies thing.” Angel was not amused. Buffy sighed, “Soon after I was called me and my mom moved to Sunnydale.”

“Don’t leave out any of the lovely explicit details babe,” Angel rasped then licked the blood that was flowing from Tara’s cut neck, eliciting more cries and struggling from the two girls.

“I met a guy, he was sweet and beautiful and saved my life on numerous occasions.” She frowned at Angel’s beaming expression. “He was everything that you are not! In the same body. I soon found out that he was a vampire.”

“A sweet vampire? How can that be? Why don’t you tell us cause we’d really like to know?” Angel instigated.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to mention the curb your outbursts rule. I thought you had the concept down, but apparently not.” Buffy rasped at him and Spike grabbed her arm before she could strike him.

“Yeah,” Angel said, “Um, Charlotte dear, could you dial Donnie please?” he asked the brunette who was one of the vamps holding Willow back, his mate. She pulled out a cell phone and soon she was talking to someone on the other end. Angel took the phone, “Yeah, Donnie, you’re still in LA right? Yeah, good. I think there’s someone special you can pick up and bring home for dinner.” His tone was clear and menacing and Buffy had no question now that this was soulless Angelus, and that his intent was to bring Dawn into the mix.

“No, no!” Buffy pleaded, “I’ll do what you say, just leave her out of this.” Angel grinned, “I’ll get back to you,” he mumbled before giving the phone back to Charlie. “That’s the Buffy I know, the 'sacrifice herself for the world' kinda gal! So please continue with your endearing story.”

Buffy gathered her bearing and paced as she spoke, “This vampire was good because he was cursed by Romany Gypsies for killing their sacred daughter. As punishment, they returned his soul, and he had to live forever remembering all the pain and suffering and horrible things he had done and caused during his time as an evil vampire.” Everyone looked shocked, even Tara who was no longer crying and paying keen attention to the story. “We fell in love, and…” Buffy sighed and glared at Angel knowing there was no way she could get out of telling the whole story but trying anyway, “And the curse had a glitch and he turned evil again.”

“What! Now what a second! What glitch? Please explain… lover.” The last word was mocking and threatening.

“With the curse, he was supposed to suffer forever, not live as human, not be happy. If he were to experience true happiness his soul would be taken and he would kill whoever he had gotten close enough with to experience happiness.”

“And that was you Buff.”

“That was me. You killed my teacher, and tried to kill me and my friends, and my mom, but I couldn’t kill you because I loved you. Then you tried to open the gates to hell to end the world and I had to kill you to close the portal. Willow was working on doing the same spell that returned your soul and right before I killed you, you turned back into him, and I had to kill him.” Buffy fought back the tears. That had been one of the hardest experiences of her life. “Somehow he came back from hell, but we could no longer be together with the curse, it was too dangerous to risk so he left town.” Buffy sighed once more and stopped her pacing.

“Now for the grand finale!” Angel announced.

“He went to LA, and stayed there for years, we both moved on with our lives, but I still loved him. I got a phone call that he was killed saving his son from an ancient vampire hunter named Holtz, who had been brought to the future to kill Angelus and avenge his slaughtered family. He left a note in case he were to be killed that he would want his son left in my care.” She could see everyone wondering about how he had a son, “His son, was a miracle, birthed by,” she glared at Angel, “Darla, who he killed saving my life, who was also brought to the future.”

“So what happened next?” Angel asked with mock excitement, “Don’t leave us in suspense!”

“I was a wreck after Angel died, I was unprepared to take care of his child, and Willow found a spell that would send me into the past. The mission was to kill Holtz so he could never be brought into the future to kill Angel.

“But something went wrong?” Angel interrupted.

“I ran into Spike, and then Angelus, Darla, and Drusilla at the hotel I was staying at. Darla was trying to kill me, so I staked her. You were crazy and tried to kill me. You chased me to a mausoleum and I had no escape. I figured that if Darla was dead, she couldn’t have a son and Angel would’ve never risked his life to Holtz to save this son. Sketchy, I know, they brought her back from being dead anyway, but I was in a jam. So I said the spell and came home to this.” She glared at Angel, “Does that pretty much cover everything?” she asked snidely.

“Yeah,” he said, “Except what happened here. Your watcher, killed Dru, so I killed him, you came to avenge the ol’ Brit and earned yourself that pretty little scar, and we’re pretty much enemies of the hardcore fashion. This town, because of me, and my clan, is very uninhabitable by anyone other then you. You were in the process of getting Red and the Mrs. out of town so you could nuke the place before the whole switch up. By the way folks, the reason I know all this is because the Slayer slept in my bed last night,” Willow gasped, “And she had a nightmare and I was touching her and all of her memories shot into my brain in this weird sort of… crazy switch thing! I must say this Buffy is far from New and Improved! She wears skirts and looks pretty and she’s not very tough.”

“I killed you!” Buffy said. Angel just scowled back. “Xander and Anya?” Buffy asked.

“No Buff, I didn’t kill them, I didn’t get the chance, they took off with Cordelia and Oz to God knows where!” he answered.

Buffy was relieved to hear this. “Why don’t you let Tara and Willow go, and me and you can settle this,” she was desperate, “any way you like.”

“Wow Buff,” he rasped, “That sounds appetizing but I think I’m gonna have to pass. I like them right here and you’ll still give me whatever I want. Besides I don’t need the little witches running off to do something drastic.”

Buffy didn’t glance over at the table but she knew the spell that had sent her to the past was scrawled on a paper there and the necklace was still around her neck, but how could she say that whole spell. “I have a proposition.”

“Oh Buff,” Angel said prodding Tara’s neck with the sharp knifepoint again, “I don’t think you’re in any place to make propositions, do you?”

Buffy smiled, “Oh but you’ll like this one. When I said you could have me anyway you wanted I meant just that.” She took a step closer swinging her hips and Angel released Tara and another vamp grabbed her. “And I think I know how you want me.” Angelus stepped closer, bouncing the knife down her tight shirtfront but not cutting the fabric.

“Do you now?” he asked. A breath wouldn’t flow between their bodies now.

“In an old dress perhaps?” she asked, her lips grazing his neck. She knew she was playing with fire but it was the only chance. “Running through a cemetery? In about an hour?” His face was priceless, and she knew she had him at dress.

“I like the images I’m receiving. You know, this Buffy, she never wore dresses, but you seemed very at home in one.”

“Oh you’re missing out,” this time her lips grazed his earlobe, she was standing on her tippytoes, “This Buffy, she’s very at home in leather mini skirts, she’s very at home in nothing at all.”

Maybe he knew she was playing for him, but he didn’t care. If he was being had, he wanted it that way. “I’m game to see that,” he said happily. “But I don’t understand why you are.”

“Well, the way I figure it is, one of us is gonna die tonight, so why shouldn’t we both have a little fun before hand?” Buffy said, all her sexiness and charm were running low and she felt like spitting right in his smug face. She also hated the fact that the thought of them having a little fun made her body long for it.

“I couldn’t agree more,” he said. “So, why don’t you go on upstairs and put on that dress and I’ll send these two girls to a safe place.”

“Where?” she asked, her harsh tone returning.

“My apartment, they’ll be fine, and then we’ll fight, and if you win, obviously you get them, if I win, obviously I get everyone!”

Buffy glanced at Willow and she looked away shocked that her, from the looks of it, rough and tumble, no-bargains-Slayer-friend was making deals, giving sex even, to the nemesis. But they didn’t know that wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She smiled, “Sure, why not, ya know, I don’t even know this Willow and Tara anyway! Hey, why don’t ya take Spike while you’re at it, I don’t like him much in any dimension.”

“Is that so?” Spike asked as a vamp grabbed his arm and started to drag him out to the car. He fought like crazy but soon they had him out cold and Willow and Tara followed. They put them in the car and Buffy stood on the front porch and watched. “Oh, and Buff,” Angel added from the passenger window, “Do something pretty to your face and hair like you used to, and if you’re not in the cemetery in a half an hour, they die.” He winked and the black window rolled up. She watched the car disappear down the unlit street and when it did she quickly ran into the house and grabbed the spell off the table.

She ran up the steps three at a time and pulled the dirty dress out of the bottom of the closet, and put it on. She straightened herself in the mirror, then ran back down the steps and picked up the gun, which had been left on the floor. She checked it, and like he said it wasn’t loaded. She found some bullets in her closet and ran back down to the kitchen table. She sat down and started the spell, in five minutes she was gone.

***

She landed right where she aimed too, in the trees just outside of the cemetery. She could see Angelus heaped on the ground, screaming at Holtz, taunting him, just like she remembered. “Come on Holtz, you can’t do any better then that? This would be about the time she saved his life. But she knew he was alive in her future so something else must have happened to keep Holtz from killing Angel. The three men with Holtz had long stakes, but they didn’t look like they would kill Angel without their boss’s permission and she knew he would want to do it himself. Holtz was furious, and she knew from the Watcher’s Diaries he had been tracking Angel for some time. He was totally capable of killing Angel at any moment, but would most likely want him to suffer, and that would be how Angel got away.

If Holtz’s aim was simply to stake Angel, he could’ve done that by now and been over with it, but he wants him to suffer, and doesn’t know that if he were given the opportunity to torture him for an eternity it would never be enough. He also doesn’t know that Angel will become good, and that he will kill an innocent father in the future. He also doesn’t know that tonight he will die, and she will stop him from killing that innocent father.

She suddenly remembered that when she had went to the past before Angelus had been lured out of the house by her and had taken her into the cemetery. She realized how lucky it was that he had come out without being lured by her and wondered what other victim or frightening plans for torture managed to lure him to that spot at that time.

Buffy was shaken from her thoughts by shrill shrieking. Her eyes left Angelus’ beaten body and focused on two more approaching horses belonging to Darla and Spike. They scared Holtz’s three companions out of the clearing and into the trees, and the two vampires closely follow with their glowing yellow eyes focusing in on the enemies, focusing in on dessert. Holtz was still afoot his horse near Angelus contemplating whether he should retreat to safety while he still could or stake the vampire and face the others.

The eerie battle cries of the female vampire return as she emerged from the tree line again. Holtz got hastily back on his horse and took one last look at his foe, “I will see you to Hell,” he muttered before riding quickly away.

“One of these days,” Angelus answered back with menacing laughter in his voice, “If you’re lucky.”

Holtz came into the trees very near Buffy. She watched Darla easily lift Angelus up onto the horse and ride off towards Spike and the three horsemen. Then she turned and followed the hoof beats of Holtz’ horse as quickly as she could. The twigs and branches ripped at her dress and skin but she was running on her last hope, not only for Angel, but for herself and the life she left behind which seemed like so long ago.

She skidded to a stop as she came to a sudden clearing deep into the forest. A make shift hut was centered in the clearing smaller then a four car driveway. There was no smoke coming from the chimney, but that would be like an obnoxiously obvious flare or a neon sign, ‘hey vamps here I am!’ His horse was outside, asleep standing up and she wondered if the man was the same way. She realized she probably never would’ve been able to find Holtz without encountering Angelus or another member of his happy little family anyway.

She crept towards the window so quietly that even the horse didn’t notice. She looked inside and saw him sitting at a small table big enough for one to sit and eat. He was sharpening stakes. As if to send her conviction right out the window he slammed the stake and knife he was holding down on the hard surface, put his hands over his face and started to sob like an old widow at Sunday mass. She knew why he wanted to kill Angel, but she also knew he killed him at the wrong time. She lifted the gun to eye level; steadied it, and right before she pulled the trigger his head jolted up and his tearstained eyes met hers.

The gunshot broke the silence and she heard the horse buck and break away from the rope holding it, then the rustled bushes as it took off into the trees. The man was slumped forward onto the wooden table, his head still cradled in his hands, which were filling with red blood that was running across the small table and dripping to the floor in a gruesome song. She wondered if this was how Faith felt when she killed a man, and if she will ever be the same again. Can she truly call herself a hero, a savoir, a Slayer after she killed someone in cold blood?

Despite the ghastly scene, and the horrible deed she had to commit she knew that Holtz’ was more evil then good, and she knew that her life would be ruined in the future because of him. She made the choice to save Angel’s life by killing Holtz’ and she knew she could stand by that choice. She also knew that if she went home and found everything back to normal it would be all the easier to except what she had to do.

She remembered about the ear splitting gunshot noise that had just broke the silence and the spectators it could drawl and slowly dipped back into the woods. She knew she had to leave now, but how could she? How could she just leave Angelus, Darla, Spike, and Drusilla to kill hundreds of thousands of people forever? She knew she couldn’t start thinking like that. She had come for a reason, and she had to go back to her time. She loved Angel and her life and she couldn’t imagine him never being in it.

A world without him would be Hell, not to mention all the people he had saved. She knew she couldn’t justify the murders Angelus had committed and she didn’t believe the people he had saved canceled out the people he had tortured. She wiped the thoughts from her mind as best she could and with trembling hands she pulled the spell from her dress and begin to whisper the words peering out through the branches to the window with the dead man inside as the sounds of nearby men calling to each other about the gunshot neared with new conviction and determination to have her life back.

***

Buffy opened her eyes and let in the bright sunlight. Deciding it was a much better idea to come back to her life in the daylight. She looked down at her torn soiled dress and up at the sound of someone’s rushed entry into the kitchen. Dawn bounded in on her way to the cereal cabinet. “Oh hey Buff,” she said happily, “What are you wearing?”

Buffy jumped from her seat and attacked her younger sister in a fierce bear hug. “Oh Jeez!” Dawn gasped bracing herself. “I didn’t really think that was a hug worthy question.”

Buffy let her go only to plaster a big sloppy kiss to her forehead. “I love you!” she said.

“I love you too,” Dawn said happily. “Can I get breakfast now? I’m gonna be late for school.”

“No,” Buffy replied wiping the tears that had started to run, “Go. Eat. Learn.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dawn asked eyeing her sister’s tears and dress.

“I think so,” Buffy said worried suddenly, “Everyone else is good right?” she asked hurriedly.

“Um, never better.” Dawn started pouring her bowl of cereal. “Why don’t you go get a cold shower and get changed, or some sleep of something,” she suggested quizzically.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, she couldn’t remember a time in her life she was more happy or relieved, “I think I will.”

The End