| Summer Crossover Series 2003: Dragula By Kuzibah |
| An Angel/Monster Garage (Mondays on the Discovery Channel) Crossover Disclaimer: Charles Gunn and other characters and situations particular to "Angel" are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, The WB Network, and other individuals and corporate bodies. �Monster Garage� and other associated materials are the property of The Discovery Channel. No copyright infringement is intended or implied. Introduction to the Series: Well, Buffy has at last come to an end, and while I will most likely continue to write Angel fanfic, it has been suggested that I expand my options. In that interest, my fanfic series this summer will give me an opportunity to explore other fandoms through a series of crossovers with Buffy and Angel characters. Some will be less serious than others... Introduction to "Dragula": When Gunn was last seen, he was signed on as a partner/owner of Wolfram & Hart, L.A. branch, after a mystical encounter with a black panther (way to be subtle, ME). �Monster Garage� is a reality show airing Monday nights on the Discovery Channel (9 P.M. ET, repeating most weekends) wherein a group of engineers, designers, and car mechanics, led by the Zen-master car customizer Jesse James, change a standard stock vehicle into a �monster machine.� Recent standout episodes include the Mustang-Lawn Mower, the Hot Dog Cart-Dragster, the Minivan-Portable Wedding Chapel, and the Corvette-Mudracer. Incidentally, I don�t drive and know next to nothing about cars, and I never miss an episode. Go here for the official website: Monster Garage And incidentally, because I don�t know much about cars, I�m going to skip over a lot of the technical stuff. Rating: PG Archive- Please email request. Feedback- Absolutely. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Announcer Big Schwang (BS): Tonight on �Monster Garage,� Jesse stakes a claim on L.A.�s nightlife when he and his team go after real monsters! Announcer (AN): Join us now as Jesse and his gang of maverick mechanics rip, grind, and burn, transforming ordinary street vehicles into monster machines in� THE MONSTER GARAGE! [Opening Credits] AN: The Challenge: Take a 2003 Chevy S-10 Pickup and create an urban vampire killing machine. [Quick-cut multiple angles of the truck] The rules: When built, the monster machine must appear to be stock. The team may spend no more than 3000 greenbacks for parts. Jesse and his crew have seven days and nights. On the first day, they design. For the next five, they build. On the seventh day, they race. If successful, each team member takes home a 3400-dollar set of Mac Tools. And the clock starts� [footage of clock being impaled on a wooden stake] now. [More quick-cuts of the truck.] AN: The Chevy S-10 Pickup is a 4x4 with four cylinders. But our design team needs to create a vehicle to take on the urban vampire population of Los Angeles County. Jesse James (JJ): We�re really looking at something that can take out bloodsuckers at a distance and protect the hunters at the same time. This truck has a lot of room, but we need to look at making it more like a tank. Gunn: There are three main ways to kill a vampire: Fire, decapitation, Stake to the heart. [B/W freeze-frame on Gunn. Caption: Charles Gunn, Vampire Expert.] Gunn: Also sunlight, of course, but we can�t control that. JJ: Not under $3000, anyway. (Laughter from design team.) Artist A.C. Zamperla (ACZ): So, we�re looking at projectiles, edged weapons, and some sort of flamethrower. [Shots of ACZ�s renderings of the truck with Mach 5-style rotary blades, hood-mounted flamethrowers, swivel-mounted crossbows, etc.] Mechanical Engineer Simon O�Geegee (SOG): (holding up rendering and speaking with strong Irish accent) I really like this one, with the saw-blade arrangement, but we�d practically need another engine to power the blades to sufficient speed to cut what they needed to cut. JJ: Yeah, but it�d be cool. Vehicle Designer Bubba Raven (BBR): (pointing to rendering with a pencil and speaking with a Southern accent) I wonder if you couldn�t move the rotary blades to the side, and put the motor for them in the bed. ACZ: (quickly sketching) Maybe on arms that could swing out and back, or even retract. SOG: Move the flamethrowers onto the front of the hood, short bursts of fire controlled from inside the cab. BBR: And the wooden projectiles� maybe mounted on the top of the cab. JJ: Multiple weapons that could be controlled by a small crew standing in the truck-bed. Gunn: That�s good, that way if one weapon was disabled they could jump to another. [ACZ does some more sketching, quick morph-cuts of draft, to rendering, to finished design, to animation of finished design from multiple angles.] [Day 2 graphic.] AN: Day 2, and the build team is on the job. [B/W full-body shot of Bill Lobo. Caption: Bill �Wild Man� Lobo, Truck Customizer.] AN: Bill �Wild Man� Wolfe, Los Angeles, California. Owner and chief customizer at Street Machines custom trucks since 1991, and long-time friend of Jesse. What Jesse is to bikes, Wild Man is to trucks. [B/W full-body shot of Tere Flower. Caption: Tere Flower, Welding Goddess.] AN: Tere Flower, Santa Ana, California. She�s forgotten more about custom welding than most people in the business will ever learn. [B/W full-body shot of David Penguin. Caption: David Penguin, Extreme Engineer.] AN: David Penguin, Fresno, California. Head of research and development at Phalanx International, the world�s largest manufacturer of historical weaponry. If you need a better crossbow, catapult, or war-hammer, he�s your man. [B/W full-body shot of Jennie �The Shark.� Caption: Jennie �The Shark,� Super Mechanic.] AN: Jennie �The Shark,� Las Vegas, Nevada. Turning mild-mannered vehicles into road-eating animals at Low-Down and Dirty: Custom Cars since her dad took her into the shop at age twelve. [B/W full-body shot of Charles Gunn. Caption: Charles Gunn, Vampire Expert.] AN: And joining us from the design team, Charles Gunn, Los Angeles, California. Associate at private ghostbusting agency Angel Investigations and specialist in things that go bump in the night. [Team rips into truck with blow-torches, wrenches, and other power tools, and discusses, argues about, and fine tunes the design.] [Day 3 graphic.] AN: On day three we get a visit from David�s boss, Edina Nigam of Phalanx International, and she�s packing some fifteenth century heat. Edina: I brought four heavy armor-piercing crossbows, circa 1460. Accurate to one-quarter mile, and they�ll punch through plate-mail. [�Freebie� graphic.] AN: Cost of four crossbows: Zip, zilch, nada� David: These are beautiful. I headed the research team on these babies seven years ago. Fabulous weapons. [Build team �testing� the crossbows in the alley by shooting bolts into a stripped Volkswagen on blocks.] Gunn: I need to get one of these. [Team builds rotating mounts for crossbows and welds them to the roof of the cab and at each back corner of the truck bed. Jesse and The Shark work on rotary saw arms.] [Day 4 graphic.] AN: Day four begins with the crossbows in place, but the arms for the rotary saws are still too heavy to extend. And the team has yet to begin work on the flamethrowers. Wild Man: I�m driving to Encino this morning to pick up two used flamethrowers from a friend�s shop, then Tere and I are going to try and get them on a remote-controlled mount. I think we can use a simple wheel-mount, but we�ll have to see. [Team experiments and tests various arms for the rotary saws, finally deciding on a v-shaped mount that appears to work. Wild Man returns with the flamethrowers, and they test and work on the remote-controlled mounts.] [Day 5 graphic.] AN: Day five, and the pressure to mount the flamethrowers is getting high. Gunn: Apparently, there�s some trouble getting the flamethrowers mounted on the front of the truck. I wish I could do more, but all I know about flamethrowers is they�re really good at killing vampires. The Shark: Right now, we have to bolt � inch plates inside the fender here to support these 85 pound flamethrowers plus the rotational drive assembly, and that�s put us way behind schedule. [Welding, mounting, set-backs. Tere and David have words.] Wild Man: This is the last thing we�re trying today. Whether it works or not, we�re going home. I�m hoping it works, because I�m out of ideas. [Interview with Jesse.] JJ: This team has worked really hard, but we need fire by tonight. [Cut to Jesse behind the wheel, flamethrower joysticks in hand. Streams of fire shoot out, igniting some posters on the wall of the garage.] (Cheering from build team and camera crew.) [David, Tere, and Wild Man run over with fire extinguishers.] JJ: I�d call that a successful test. AN: The flamethrowers work, but can the mobile vamp killing machine work all weapons at once and protect the crew? The build team has one day to bring the truck�s horsepower up to full killing speed. [Day 6 graphic.] AN: The team is still up from yesterday�s successful flamethrower test, but this morning, David discovers a problem. David: When we boosted the power to manipulate the flamethrowers, we shorted out the rotary arms. We�ve got to reroute the power through the entire thing. AN: With the crew racing against time, tempers flare. [Tere throws a bottle across the garage bay. Team snaps at each other. Jesse has a brotherly talk. Team completes work at last.] AN: With only minutes to spare, the work is complete. Gunn: I learned a lot, and this is really going to work. JJ: This build crew did great work under a lot of pressure. AN: As the team goes home to rest up for tomorrow�s urban assault, master auto painter Tom Pruitt works his magic. [Tom Pruitt spray paints, air-brushes, and uses various special paint effects to transform the truck. When complete, the truck varies from bright red across the front, through dark red and maroon, to nearly black in the back. Bat silhouettes and gold crosses are scattered throughout.] Big Schwang (BS): Good evening, Monster Garage fans, I�m Big Schwang. Frankie Whiteside (FW): And I�m Frankie Whiteside. BS: The team is about to drive into some of the most heavily vampire-infested areas of L.A. with their new Monster Machine. FW: That�s right. They�re facing off against bloodthirsty killers armed only with razor-sharp saws, deadly crossbows, and a double-barreled flamethrower. BS: And there�s the first vampires now. [Three Euro-trash vamps approach from an abandoned building. Jesse fires up the flamethrowers.] BS: O-o-o-oh, that�s gotta hurt, Frankie. Those bloodsuckers are being flame-broiled by Jesse�s firepower. [More vamps attack from all sides. The team rips them apart with the saws, stakes them with the crossbows, and immolates them with the flamethrowers.] FW: Jesse and the team are taking all comers, turning them into dust. BS: And the vamps just keep coming, Frankie, but they aren�t laying an undead finger on the team. [More fighting. At last the vamps are all dust. Cut back to the team in the garage, where they are presented with the tool sets.] Gunn: This was great. I�m glad I got the chance to do this. Jesse: That was awesome. We need to go find more vampires. [Shot of the truck driving away down an L.A. street at sunset.] BS: Jesse�s off to drag another gang of vampires into the chrome and steel equivalent of the light of day. Until next time, he�s got metal to burn, sparks to fly. The next Monster Garage challenge is just� around� the bend!!! [Closing credits.] Main Menu ~ Return to Crossover Menu |