The River By Shiver

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not making any money. Archive- Please email request. Feedback- Absolutely. Actually, just let me know if you find it. Warning- This stories features GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN MALES. If the previous sentence made you a little sick to your stomach, or IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, Please GO ELSEWHERE! Spoilers and Notes- Sorta season 6. Through Gone. Except Wesley and Gunn are together and everyone knows it. Why? No good reason, I just think they're so cute together. And Angel and Wesley were together at one point but drifted apart. Why? Again, no good reason. Never mind, it's all pretty obvious in context. ******************* Darkness, close, claustrophobic. Fear, and hunger like an animal in his insides. Underneath, pain and... loneliness? Where am I? Angel thought. Is this a dream? Okay. Concentrate. Damp, cold, the scent of decay. A crypt? How..? Angel awoke in his own bed, the remnants of the dream still clinging to his mind. No, not a dream, he realized. He'd felt this sort of thing before, most recently when Penn, his first childe, had come to town. This was a connection with one of his offspring, an emotion so intense that it reached across the connection he shared with all of them. But where Penn had sent him a thrill of bloodlust, this was a miasma of confusion and suffering. One of them was in trouble. Angel reached for his phone, dialing Wesley's number from memory. "Hello?" "Wesley, I'm sorry to wake you. I... I had a strange dream." "Much as I appreciate your alerting me, in light of your history with strange dreams..." Wesley sounded equal parts amused and annoyed, "...couldn't this have waited until morning?" "I'm sorry," Angel said. "It was very real. I think it was one of my childer, er, offspring." Wesley's voice was instantly serious. "Was there a murder? Are they in town?" "No," Angel felt a bit foolish now. "He was hurt, in emotional pain..." There was silence on the other end of the line. "Wesley?" Angel prompted. "I'm here," Wesley said levelly, and there was another pause. "Can we discuss this tomorrow?" Yes," Angel said. "I'm very sorry." "It's okay," Wesley said. "Good night." +++++++++++++++ "Was that the boss?" Gunn asked, pulling Wesley back into his arms. "Yes," Wesley said, distracted now. "Do we need to get up? Please say no." "No." "Good." "He's had a dream," Wesley explained. "He thinks it's one of the vampires he's made in some sort of trouble. He could feel this other vampire's pain." "Wow. Heavy." "Indeed." Gunn gave his lover a squeeze, and frowned. "Are you okay? Do you have something on your mind?" Wesley shook his head to clear it, and turned to Gunn with a small smile. "Nothing that can't wait," he said, then sighed. "It's just... I sometimes forget that Angel has issues we can't really understand." "Yeah," Gunn said. "He's got issues, alright." "Don't be jealous," Wesley said. "We were both in a dark place then..." "I'm not jealous," Gunn reassured him. "I just don't want you to feel responsible for his problems." "I don't. But if I can help him, if I have that skill..." Wesley grew thoughtful again. "I'm just not sure how to reconcile the fact that helping him may also help a bloodthirsty killer." "Worry about it tomorrow," Gunn murmured, pressing his mouth to the side of Wesley's neck. +++++++++++++++ Wesley and Angel faced each other across the desk, Wesley holding a ballpoint poised above his notepad. "I think we need to begin by making a list of your offspring, along with a few descriptive remarks. Perhaps this will jog your mind and help you make a connection." Angel nodded, looking a little more worried than usual. "Penn was my first," he said. "I think I told you that. But he's gone." Angel took a moment, then continued. "Six years after him was Jens, a student in Austria. He was studying music, I believe..." +++++++++++++++ Wesley surveyed the sheets of paper spread over the surface of his desk with dismay. "This is overwhelming," he said aloud. "What is?" Gunn asked. "I had no idea Angel had this many offspring," Wesley said. "Childer, he called them, to distinguish them from minions. I don't even want to know how many minions there are." Gunn picked up a few of the pages. "He probably lost count," he said. "Thirty-nine!" Wesley went on. "Created, brought up in Angelus's image, then loosed on the world to make offspring of their own. I can't even imagine." "Just like cockroaches," Gunn said, picking up several more pages and leafing through them quickly. "The dream was just so vague," Wesley said. "It could be any of them." "And it probably doesn't help that Angel fixated on a particular type, either," Gunn said. Wesley gave his lover a questioning look. "What do you mean?" Gunn put the pages back down on the desk, spread out as they had been. "I mean, up until Drusilla, it was all the same type of person." He pointed to a few different pages. "Penn. Studying to be a minister. Thomas, a writer. Emil, classics student. Arne, mathematics student. Donal, bookkeeper. Academic assistant, writer, student, student." Gunn gave a smug smile. "Angelus liked nerds." Wesley shuffled through his notes. "I hadn't thought of that..." "They even looked alike," Gunn said, only just noticing. "Look. Blond hair, blue eyes. Blond. Fair. Pale, blue eyes. Blue eyes. Blue eyes." He looked back up and drew the back of his fingers along Wesley's cheek-bone. "No wonder he couldn't keep his hands off you. You're exactly what he went for. If he'd been Angelus, you'd be a vampire by now." Wesley turned away, embarrassed. "I hardly think..." Gunn smiled fondly. "Probably would have made you bleach your hair blond, though," he said. Wesley pulled away from Gunn suddenly. "Are you all right?" Gunn asked. "Yes," Wesley said. "It's just... He forgot one." Gunn followed Wesley into the lobby, where Angel was feeding Connor his bottle. The vampire looked up at their approach. "Did you find anything?" Wesley shook his notes accusingly at Angel. "You forgot the most likely suspect," he said. "The one who we know is in close proximity and is also likely to be experiencing the feelings you describe." Angel looked confused. "Who?" "Spike," Wesley said. "William the Bloody." Angel shook his head. "No," he said. "That isn't possible." "But the facts add up," Wesley said. "Your relationship was very close for almost two decades. He's less than a hundred miles away, as the crow flies. And in his condition, he would possibly be feeling the things you described." "You forgot the most important detail," Angel said. "I didn't make Spike. Dru made him." Wesley was surprised. "You didn't? But the Watcher's diaries..." "Are wrong," Angel said. "They took their best guess, I'm sure, but they didn't have all of the information." "Oh." Wesley sat down in a nearby chair. "Maybe they got him confused with one of the other ones," Gunn suggested. "But he called you his Sire on at least one occasion," Wesley said. "Giles referred to it in his own notes." "Oh," Angel said. "That." "'That,' what?" Wesley said. Angel took the finished bottle from his son's mouth, lifted the infant to his shoulder and patted his back until a bubble came up. Then he rose to put him in his bassinet. "I made him call me that," Angel explained. "Dru... You have to understand, she wasn't prepared to care for a fledgling vampire. We didn't even know she'd made him until she came home with this frightened, filthy little creature that had just clawed out of its coffin. She hadn't bothered to explain anything to him. I don't think she really understood what she had done. If I hadn't been there, he wouldn't have survived. But I thought... I'd been trying to make vampires to help care for Drusilla for some time, but none of them seemed interested in her. I thought this one, William his name was then, might form a bond with her, if he could be reared properly." "So you took on the task yourself," Wesley said. "Yes," Angel replied. "I had to improvise. There are ways we do things, ways we bond with the vampires we create to make them more than mere minions. But as far as I know, no one had never raised another vampire's childe." Angel sat back down and sighed. "It wasn't an easy transition, and I wasn't exactly gentle and patient with the boy. If he looked to Drusilla instead of me for anything, I'd... beat him until he minded me." "Oh," Wesley said. "I'm sorry," Angel said. "Those first few years... it was insane, even by our standards." "Wait a minute," Gunn said. "You didn't actually do the whole blood exchange, but in a way he was like one of your... childer?" Angel gave a small smile. "Yes. Eventually," he said. "Once he settled down and began to behave himself, I began to reward him, and bond with him myself." "Did he respond?" Wesley asked. "Oh yes," Angel said, his expression softening into something like fondness. "Once I started... rewarding him, he was very affectionate. Sweet, even." Angel shook his head. "It's hard to believe, now, but we were very close." Wesley swallowed, hesitating before his next question. "Were you... intimate?" Angel smirked. "You could put it that way," he said. "Could you not then be connected to him now?" Wesley went on. "If he were desperate enough, wouldn't he reach out, even subconsciously, to the one who not only cared for him but was strong enough to protect him?" Angel shook his head again. "I don't think so. I've never heard of vampires who weren't sire and childe by blood being connected this way." "But you just said that you'd never heard of one vamp raising another's offspring," Gunn said. "Couldn't that have... changed the rules?" Angel considered this. "It's possible, I guess. We were... close. He was almost like a childe of my own blood. I thought of him that way." "Perhaps we're approaching this from the wrong direction," Wesley said. "We need to determine who is linked with you. Do you think... Do you think you could try to make contact from your side, reach out mentally as you're falling asleep, strengthen the bond if you can?" "I could try," Angel said. "I think that's best for now," Wesley said. +++++++++++++++ Angel was aware that this wasn't him, that he was actually asleep in his bed in Los Angeles, but it seemed that Wesley's experiment had worked. He had concentrated on the feelings he'd felt the night before as he lay still, feeling sleep overtake him. Then, when he'd started to dream, he allowed those feelings and thoughts to carry him along, rather than fighting them. Now he seemed to be fully in this other vampire's mind. And he wasn't entirely happy about it. For starters, he was indeed in a crypt of some sort. Nothing wrong there; he'd always taught his childer that crypts were a good, safe, temporary shelter, though this seemed more established. There was quite a bit of furniture, and it seemed to have been wired for electricity. This was actually good evidence in favor of it being Spike, as Sunnydale was the only town Angel had ever seen that had lighting in its cemeteries. The furniture, however, was little more than trash, filthy dirty and in disrepair. Angel could feel this other vampire's hunger acutely, now. It was a dull pain in his stomach, like a knife had been shoved in and the skin had grown over the blade. It was a pain that Angel had lived with not that long ago, in the years before a badly-dressed smart-assed demon called Whistler dragged him to California. Another point in the Spike column. Obviously this vampire wasn't feeding as he should be. Somewhere a stone door was moved aside, and Angel felt lust and fear and longing sing through his host. A person was climbing down from above, and then Angel knew it was Spike he was linked with as Buffy stepped down to the floor. "Come back for more, Slayer?" Spike said with a bravado Angel knew he wasn't feeling. Buffy held up a ratty bouquet of flowers wrapped in crumpled paper. "What is this supposed to mean?" she demanded. "Do you like them?" Spike asked coyly, and Angel felt a wave of hope rise in Spike's heart. In response, Buffy flung the flowers at Spike's head. "What's wrong with you?" she shouted. "This isn't a romance... A... a love affair. This is me using you and you using me until something better comes along. My friends, and especially Dawn, don't find out, or I'll stake you so hard Drusilla will feel it." "Buffy..." In response to Spike's entreaty, the Slayer launched herself at him, pummeling his torso with her fists, and driving him back until he fell on the bed, reaching up to pull her down on top of him. Inside, Angel watched in fascinated horror as Buffy attacked Spike's mouth with her own, kissing him and moving her hands over his body. But there was no tenderness here. She held Spike down with her superior strength as she roughly pulled his shirt open and over his shoulders, then undid his jeans and shoved them down to his knees. She took his cock in her hand, squeezing tightly enough to bring tears to Spike's eyes, and Angel felt Spike's loathing of himself as the organ hardened under her touch. Her mouth still on his, and still holding him down, Buffy hitched her skirt up around her waist and climbed onto the bed to straddle Spike's lap. What followed was hard and passionless, and even though Spike was kissing her, touching her, and was embedded deep inside her, he felt utterly alone. When it was done, Buffy pulled away, not even letting Spike hold her for a moment. "I mean it," she said. "Don't leave little presents at my house again." Then she re-adjusted her clothes and left. Slowly, Spike rose, swallowing down the disgust and longing as he did up his jeans and shirt. In Los Angeles, Angel struggled back to consciousness. +++++++++++++++ "Hello? Angel?" "Yes, it's me. I'm sorry to bother you again, Wesley..." "No, it's all right," Wesley told him as he rose onto one elbow. "Were you able to make contact?" "Yes, you were right. It was Spike." "Are you alright? You sound... strange." "I..." There was a long hesitation, and Wesley heard Angel moving about. "I think I know why he's established this connection with me." "Go on," Wesley said calmly. "He's in a relationship that... that was a lot like my time with him," Angel said. "He's being used. Hurt. His own feelings used against him." "Who's doing it?" There was another long pause. "It's Buffy." Wesley couldn't believe his ears. "*Your* Buffy?" "I didn't tell you what happened when I saw her last," Angel said, "but... she's not the girl I remember. Everything that happened to her, it changed her." "I don't know what to say," Wesley said faintly. "It doesn't matter," Angel said. "She made it clear she didn't want my help." "I'm sorry." "But Spike does need me," Angel said firmly. "Even if it's only subconsciously. I can't let him follow the same pattern. We need to get in contact with him." "Do you need to go to Sunnydale?" Wesley asked. "I... I wish there were some way to call him," Angel said. "Maybe there is," Wesley said. "Did you see the film 'The Matrix'?" +++++++++++++++ Spike watched TV without really connecting in his mind. He wasn't even seeing the pictures anymore, just patterns of light. In his mind he replayed his encounters with Buffy over the previous weeks over and over. And he wondered just when he had lost his dignity, his self-respect, and his mind. Just then there was a knock at his door, and Spike was shaken from his reverie. No one ever knocked here. They either didn't care enough to visit or simply barged in. No invitation clause when you *were* a vampire, unfortunately. Spike rose and approached the door cautiously. "Who's out there?" he asked. "Western Union," came the reply. "I have a package for a Mr. William Spike. Am I at the right, um..." Spike pulled the door open. "That's me," he said. "What is it?" The courier stared at the vampire in disbelief for a moment before falling back on the habit of ten thousand deliveries. "I don't know, sir," he said, proffering a small padded envelope and a clipboard. "Sign here, please." Spike eyed the items suspiciously, then shrugged, tucked the package under his arm and signed the sheet. The courier tipped his hat and walked quickly from the cemetery while Spike retreated back inside and opened the parcel. Inside was a slim cellular phone. Spike looked at it curiously, then flipped it open and pressed the 'on' button. The small LCD screen lit up, and a pre-programmed greeting appeared: 'DIAL F# 01' Spike looked around, suddenly feeling as though he was the object of an elaborate joke, then carefully pressed the sequence. +++++++++++++++ The second line on Angel's office phone rang, what he thought of as his 'private line,' and he felt his chest tighten with nervousness. Only one person would call this number now that Giles had returned to England. Swallowing hard, Angel lifted the receiver. "Spike?" he said. The other end of the line clicked dead. +++++++++++++++ Spike only just managed to stop himself from flinging the phone against the wall and breaking it into so many bits. What the *hell* was Angel doing? He screamed in his mind. He slammed the phone down on top of the TV and retreated several feet away to stare at it angrily. It was some sort of trick. It had to be. Within a minute, the phone started ringing. Spike continued to glare. On the seventh ring he crossed to it and picked it up, hitting the 'talk' button as he did so. "What the fuck is this about?" he demanded. "Oh, good," came Angel's voice. "You didn't destroy it." "Answer my question." "I've been having dreams, Spike." "Jolly good for you," Spike sneered. "Why don't you call Miss Cleo and let her know." "Who..?" Spike rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Why are you telling me? And make it good, 'Passions' is on." "No it's not," Angel said. "I made sure the phone was delivered at five after." Spike glanced back at the television. Sure enough, KNBC had switched to some game show. "So what if it isn't," he said. "My time is valuable. Talk." "I think I have some sort of connection with you," Angel said. "I can feel that you're in a lot of pain." "You've gone mental again," Spike said. "I'm happy as the proverbial clam..." "I saw Buffy throw those flowers at you," Angel said. Silence. "Then she threw you on the bed and held you down while she..." "Shut up," Spike shouted. "Is that what this is about? Revenge for spoiling your virgin idol?" "This isn't about her," Angel said gently. "You're lying." "How much are you eating?" Angel asked. "What the hell do you care?" Spike shot back. "I felt how hungry you were," Angel said. "Well... blood is expensive," Spike said petulantly. "Where are you getting it?" "Here and there. You remember the health-food store on Chain Street?" "They deal in human blood," Angel said. "That's what I drink," Spike said. �I�m a vampire, remember?� "But it's very expensive," Angel explained. "You can get by on butcher's blood." "Sure," Spike said. "Just walk up to the deli counter and order a few pints, I guess. They'll never suspect a thing." "Go to the loading dock at Sunny-Mart," Angel said. "Ask for Anthony. He works the three to ten shift most nights. Tell him Angel sent you, and he'll only charge you for the packing." "You know this guy?" "Long story," Angel said. "We... Buffy and I... We helped out his kid once." "Why are you doing this for me?" "I remember what it was like," Angel said. +++++++++++++++ "I know I shouldn't care," Angel said. "If he could, he would kill everybody in Sunnydale I've ever cared about." "But you do," Wesley said softly. "I do," Angel affirmed. "I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with what you're doing," Wesley said, "but I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand it." "You do?" Angel was surprised. "He's your family," Wesley said. "You can't just shrug that off. Even when you want to," he added. "He wasn't always like he is now," Angel explained. "I remember... when it was just the two of us, when he didn't feel like he had to impress Dru or show off for other vampires... It was nice. Comfortable." "And you'd like that back," Wesley said. "Sounds crazy, doesn't it." "A little," Wesley said. "But when I was talking to him, and it was just the two of us again..." Angel sighed sadly. "�I think he might have wanted it, too." �What are you going to do?� �Keep talking to him,� Angel said. �Try to shake him out of this pattern he�s in.� �Just be careful,� Wesley said. +++++++++++++++ �So how is your baby?� Spike asked. �Fine,� Angel told him. �He�s growing bigger every day.� �I was trying to figure this out,� Spike said. �What would his relationship be to me? Brother, you think?� �Not sure,� Angel said. �He�s Darla�s, too, so�� �Ugh. Best not pursue that train of thought,� Spike said. �I was just thinking the same thing,� Angel said. �Why don�t we just call you an uncle.� �That sounds good,� Spike said. �Maybe Uncle Spike ought to pay a visit. See that he�s being raised right.� �I�d like that,� Angel said seriously, and there was silence on the other end of the line. �Spike?� �Uh, look, I�ve got to go,� Spike said suddenly. �I�ll call you back tomorrow.� +++++++++++++++ Spike lay in his bed, the thin sheet wrapped around him. The weather had turned cold, and it was chilly and damp under the ground where he was. The candles he�d lit to try and cheer the place up were flickering in the draft, sending weird shadows over the stone walls. He reached under his pillow and wrapped his fingers around Angel�s cell phone. Idiot, he told himself a moment later. All sentimental over a stupid phone. Above him he heard the stone door to his crypt slam open, and Buffy�s voice shouting down. �Spike! Where are you?� Under his head, Spike�s hand tightened on the phone. He stayed quiet and still, listening to Buffy�s footsteps coming closer to the ladder leading down. �Are you down there?� she called, sounding slightly confused. Spike didn�t move. Then she moved away and out, closing the crypt�s door behind her. �I really have lost it,� Spike muttered to himself as he climbed out of bed and began to dress. +++++++++++++++ Gunn and Wesley were draped over the large cushioned chairs in the Hyperion�s lobby, drained from the evening�s battle with yet another enormous tentacled demon. Fred was applying bandages to Gunn�s shoulder while Wesley looked on, and nearby Cordelia was bouncing Connor in her arms, trying to get him back to sleep. Angel leaned heavily on the counter. Now that the excitement was over, he was anxious to get upstairs and try calling Spike again. The younger vampire hadn�t answered when Angel had phoned earlier, and Angel worried he had spooked him by blurting out that invitation the night before. On the other hand, maybe Spike had just forgotten to recharge the cell�s battery. �Easy, there, girl,� Gunn said. �Some of my hair goes every time you pull that tape.� �Sorry,� Fred said. �Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?� Wesley suggested, and Gunn smiled. �I know something you could kiss that would make everything better,� he said. �Please,� Cordelia said. �There are sensitive ears present! And a baby!� �Sorry,� the two men mumbled in unison. �You next,� Fred chirped, turning to Wesley. Obediently, the Englishman pulled open his shirt. He had only been slashed once, not seriously, but his pale skin was a mass of bruises. Gunn looked at his lover�s chest with shock. �How badly does it hurt?� he asked. �Not badly,� Wesley said. �I think it looks worse than it is.� �Fix him up quick,� Gunn told Fred. �I�m going to take him home.� �Really, I�m fine,� Wesley said. Angel crossed to where Cordelia stood with his son. �Here, let me take him,� he said. �Are you okay?� Cordy asked gently. �I could patch you if you need it�� �No, I�m okay,� Angel said. �I just have something on my mind�� �And you need some alone-brooding time,� Cordy said. �It�s cool, I understand. I�ll just help Fred finish up the guys and we�ll get out of your way.� �I appreciate�� Suddenly all heads turned as the front door swung slowly open, and a thin, bleached-blonde vampire stepped in. +++++++++++++++ He looks bad, was Angel�s first thought as he took in the sight of Spike standing in his hotel�s lobby, his arms crossed across his chest, his eyes defiant and wary. Cordelia reacted first. �What are you doing here?� she said. �I invited him,� Angel said, handing the baby to her. He crossed to the door in a few long steps. �Come in,� he said. �Sit down.� �Invited him?!� Cordy was incredulous. �I mean, I know he�s all neutered now�� �Hey,� Spike said angrily. �Cordelia,� Wesley said above the general din. �Perhaps we should go.� �Go..? But, but� Spike!� �Give Angel his boy,� Gunn said, getting to his feet. �This isn�t our business.� Cordy looked from face to face as though everyone had gone crazy. �Angel..?� she said softly. �Fred, take Connor upstairs,� Angel instructed, and the smaller girl lifted the child out of Cordy�s arms and retreated up the stairs. �It�s okay,� Angel said. �I�ll see you tomorrow.� Gunn had his hands on Cordelia�s shoulders, now, and was guiding her towards the door. �You�d better not be going crazy again,� she fired over her shoulder as she left. �I�ll see you tomorrow, too,� Wesley said as he followed them. �It was a pleasure to almost meet you,� he added, and Spike smirked at him. �I�m glad you decided to come,� Angel said when everyone had gone. �I still don�t know why I did,� Spike said, unfolding his arms and stepping down into the room. �No,� he corrected himself when he had his back to Angel. �I had to get away from Sunnydale. I was going crazy there.� Angel didn�t answer, so Spike changed subjects. �New bunch of humans, I see. Except for the debutante, of course. I like the big guy, though the skinny Brit�s more your type�� �He was,� Angel said. �For a little while.� �Thought he might have been,� Spike murmured, then turned back to Angel. �So where am I sleeping?� he said. +++++++++++++++ Angel gave Spike the rooms across from his own, but wasn�t surprised when the younger vampire followed him back into his own suite. Spike entered the rooms and began to prowl around, exploring while Angel started to change for bed. Angel watched quietly as Spike moved into the adjoining room, now Connor�s nursery, and stood by the crib, looking down at the sleeping infant. After a long moment he looked back at Angel. �Thanks for letting me come here,� he said. �I knew you were in trouble,� Angel said. �I could feel it myself.� Spike waved one hand dismissively. �I�d�ve been fine, eventually,� he said. �Just, this thing with the Slayer. It�s got me all twisted around, you know?� �I know,� Angel said. �I mean, it�s not right,� Spike went on. �We�re just both so fucked up�� �Yes,� Angel agreed. �You should be with someone�� He trailed off, and Spike jumped on his thought. �Who loves me?� he asked bitterly. �Why, that�s brilliant, Angelus. That�s fucking genius! And where would I find this person? Have you seen anybody who really loves me lately, cause I sure haven�t.� �I�m sorry. I didn�t�� �No, you sure didn�t,� Spike said. A tense silence followed, which Angel finally broke. �I do care about you,� he said. �Only so you can sleep at night,� Spike said. �Fantastic. That makes me feel so much better, helping you with the whole existential guilt bullshit. So instead of using me as a toy, I�m just a salve for your ego.� �I�m not using you,� Angel said angrily, then held up his hands in supplication. �I enjoyed talking to you,� he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. �I got to thinking about the old days. When we�d� talk. And just�� �You mean when you were fucking me,� Spike said. �Not just that,� Angel said defensively. Spike half-closed his eyes, and moved towards Angel, slowly, almost gliding. �Miss the old rough and tumble, do you? Like to rekindle the flame?� Angel swallowed nervously. �Do you?� he asked, and Spike laughed, the mood broken. �Sometimes,� he said. �But that was long time ago. We can�t just go back to the way it was.� He laughed again. �For one thing, I doubt your good little soul would let you chain me down and pound me raw.� �I wouldn�t�� �I know,� Spike said, suddenly serious. �But if you want to start again� I�m willing.� Angel drew a shaky breath. �Do you want to� ah...?� Spike smiled. �Nope. Not yet, anyway,� he said. �Good,� Angel sighed. �Too confusing for both of us right now. I know it. But we�ll talk some more tomorrow.� �I�d like that,� Angel said. +++++++++++++++ Cordelia took another sip of her cappuccino then looked from Wesley�s face to Gunn�s and back again. They hadn�t taken her far from the hotel, just around the corner, really, to an all-night diner, and over waffles and omelets had tried to explain what was going on with Angel and Spike. Not an easy conversation, since neither man was entirely sure what *was* happening. �I guess I sort of get it,� Cordelia said. �But are we absolutely sure Spike is harmless?� �Harmless may be a bit of an overstatement,� Wesley said, �but from what we already know of his� alteration� he can�t harm any of us physically.� �You guys are all way too uptight about this,� Gunn said. �Didn�t you see them? They want each other.� �Ugh,� Cordelia said. �A mental picture I so did not need.� �That�s not fair,� Gunn said gently. �Angel�s all alone, because he�s got some sort of rule against getting into a relationship with humans. It screwed things up with Buffy, it screwed things up with Wesley, sorry, man.� �It�s okay,� Wesley said. �There were other problems, too, but that was a big one.� �Anyway,� Gunn went on, �if he wants to give it a go with this Spike character, maybe that�s the best thing for him. I think we should be supportive.� Cordy opened her mouth to protest, then nodded slowly. �Okay,� she said. �For now.� Solemnly, Wesley agreed as well. +++++++++++++++ Spike emerged from his room the next afternoon just after 4, and descended to the lobby where Cordelia was filing some case folders and Fred was playing with the baby. �Where�s the poof?� he asked. �If you mean Angel,� she replied, �he and Wesley went out to pick up some scaffolding equipment.� Spike looked confused. �What sort of thing are you fighting that you need that?� Cordelia pointed up. �Flaking plaster ceilings,� she said. Spike looked up, gave a perfunctory nod, then picked up one of the pens from the holder on the desk and spun it in his fingers. �So� what do you do for fun around here?� he asked. �Work,� Cordelia said without looking up from her filing. �And the baby takes a lot of time,� Fred put in. Spike turned to her and gave his most charming smile. �I don�t think I�ve met you yet,� he said. �Fred, is it?� �That�s me,� she said, �but I�ve heard all about you. That you and Angel used to be vicious killers together, and Angel�s your Sire, but not really, and you were probably knocking boots back in the day�� �Fred,� Cordelia said, crossing to where she was. �We don�t need to talk about that right now.� �S�Okay,� Spike said with a grin. �She�s not telling me anything I didn�t already know. I was there, you�ll remember.� �Ooo, I�m sorry,� Fred said, suddenly realizing what she�d said. �I�m going to take the baby upstairs and make his dinner.� Then she hurried from the room. Cordelia fixed Spike with a hard stare. �I don�t really need to know all the details of what you and Angel are to each other,� she said. �But if you hurt him, I will find you, and I will make the Scourge of Europe look like Barney the dinosaur. Got it?� �Yes, ma�am,� Spike said with a smirk. �Good,� she said. �Now clear out. I need to get these files put away before the guys start slopping plaster sealant all over the place.� +++++++++++++++ Angel was giving Spike the walking tour of the neighborhood, and the younger vampire was starting to wonder why he had stayed in Sunnydale so long. Most shops there closed well before dusk, except those that catered to a select clientele, and Spike was no longer welcome in most of those. Los Angeles, on the other hand, seemed to wake up in the darkness. There were clubs and restaurants with streams of hip young people going in and out, trendy shops with glittering displays, a coffee bar and juice stand surrounded by exotic-looking teenagers. Even the mundane places, the mini-mart and the book store, were brightly painted in the hues of tropical birds. �Do you like cappuccino?� Angel asked. �Love it,� Spike said. �I never used to drink it,� Angel said, leading the way to a small table in the open-air caf� portion of Java Heaven. �Made me jumpy. But that was before I had to work for a living.� �Hey, guys, what can I get you?� chirped a waitress in black satin jeans and a t-shirt with Java Heaven�s mascot, Joe the Dancing Coffee Cup. �A tall Sumatra roast, black,� Angel said. �Do you have Mocha Diablo?� Spike asked. �Sure do.� �Give me a tall, extra whip, and sprinkle some cinnamon on top,� Spike said. �You got it,� she said, heading back to the counter. �Can you taste all that?� Angel asked. �Some of it,� Spike told him. �The cinnamon kind of has a sting, and I like the smell of the chocolate. And the hot drink and cool cream together in my mouth feels interesting. It�s more a question of sensation with us, I�ve found, not taste so much.� �True,� Angel agreed. They watched people passing by for a few minutes in silence before their drinks arrived, then Angel said, �do you suppose they�re wondering what happened to you in Sunnydale?� �Maybe for about five seconds,� Spike said. �Then they shrugged and went on with their lives.� �Even Buffy?� �Especially Buffy. Probably relieved she doesn�t have to go through the whole approach-avoid melodrama anymore.� He put a spoonful of whipped cream in his mouth. �Don�t you even want them to send your things?� Angel asked, and Spike grinned. �Oh, very smooth, Angelus,� he said. �But since having my belongings incinerated is sort of a liet-motif of my life these past few years, there�s nothing worth sending.� He looked up through his eyelashes and raised his cup to his lips. �Just have to buy new, I suppose.� �I�m glad you�re staying,� Angel said, and he reached across to brush Spike�s cheek with his fingers. Spike jumped away, and Angel pulled his hand back. �Sorry,� he said. �Didn�t mean to push.� It�s not that,� Spike said, looking around nervously. �I just didn�t want to attract unwanted attention.� �You have been in Sunnydale too long,� Angel said. �Nobody cares here.� Spike put his cup down and Angel took his hand. �It�s okay,� he said. �I want people to know you�re with me. You�re beautiful.� Spike�s eyes dropped closed, just for a second, and he let out a breath he didn�t realize he was holding.  +++++++++++++++ Spike paced restlessly around Angel�s rooms. Ostensibly, he was keeping Fred company while she watched the baby, but in truth he was too distracted to be much company. �Don�t worry about him,� Fred said. �Sometimes it takes a while to chase down whatever thing they�re after.� �I�m not worried,� Spike said, though he was chewing the edge of his thumbnail as he gazed down at the streets below. �Here,� Fred said, rising to her feet. �Watch Connor while I go heat his bottle.� Spike circled the girl and the baby, not coming closer than 5 feet. With a sigh of exasperation, Fred picked the child up and thrust him in Spike�s direction. �I can watch him fine from here,� Spike said. �It�s not like he�s going to run off.� �Just hold him,� Fred said, putting him in Spike�s arms. The vampire fumbled with him for a moment, then held him stiffly. �You just better not cry or make a mess on me,� Spike said in a threatening, but quiet, tone. A few minutes later Fred and Spike were seated side by side on the bed as Fred fed Connor. �Could they have stopped somewhere on the way home, do you think?� Spike asked. �It�s possible,� Fred said. �Although Angel hasn�t done that since you got here.� �Oh.� �But maybe they did,� Fred re-assured him. Just then they heard the front door thrown open. �We need the first-aid kit,� came Gunn�s raised voice. �Oh, God.� Spike was on his feet in an instant, flying out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He saw Cordelia exiting from the office carrying the kit, and in the lobby Gunn and Wesley lowering a very pale Angel onto a chair. �What happened?� Spike demanded, but Gunn pushed him aside. �Back off, he�s been stung,� Gunn said. �We need to get the quills pulled out.� In frustration, Spike growled and grabbed Gunn by the arm, then recoiled as the chip sent a pain signal into his brain. �It�s okay, Spike,� Angel said breathlessly. �Just got the wind knocked out of me.� Spike watched helplessly as Gunn and Wesley extracted the C�thorr demon�s poison-tipped spines with pliers and cleaned the holes with peroxide. The wounds bubbled out yellow-green pus. �This isn�t lethal to vampires,� Wesley explained calmly. �It�s painful, and you should sleep well tonight, but all should be better in the morning.� �Why didn�t you wankers protect him?� Spike said angrily. �I was protecting *them*,� Angel said. �The C�thorr can hurt me, but one of these spines would have killed them. Ow,� he added as Wesley pulled another out. �Sorry,� Wesley said. �And rest assured, we both appreciate your sacrifice.� �Pillocks,� Spike muttered. Sometime later, Angel had been half-carried to his bed, and everyone had cleared out except for Spike, who sat at the bedside watching his Sire. �I really am fine,� Angel assured him. �I know,� Spike said. �It�s just�� Angel reached out and picked up Spike�s hand from where it was resting on the blanket. �You�re shaking,� he said. �I was scared,� Spike said matter-of-factly. �You don�t have to be,� Angel said. �I�m here. I�m safe.� �I know,� Spike repeated, but his voice was very small. Angel nodded, then pushed himself up into more of a sitting position. �Take off your shoes,� he said. Confused, Spike complied, then Angel moved over in the bed. �Get in,� he said, holding up the blanket, and with a sigh Spike slid under. �Should I� take off the rest of my clothes?� �No,� Angel said. �I�m not really in any condition, and it�s too soon anyway.� Spike turned towards Angel. �What do you..?� �Shh,� Angel said, touching Spike�s lips with his fingertips, then brushing along the edge of his hair. �Just let me hold you while I sleep. Is that okay?� Spike�s eyes seemed very wide as he nodded, and Angel draped an arm over his waist, and pulled him close. +++++++++++++++ �I think they were just� sleeping,� Wesley explained. �I wasn�t snooping. I wanted to see that Angel had recovered fully. And there he was with Angel curled around him, fully dressed as far as I could tell.� �Sounds nice,� Gunn said. �Do you think so?� �You saw him last night,� Gunn said. �He�d stake himself before he saw Angel hurt. It�s adorable.� ��Adorable� is hardly the word I�d use to describe one of the most notorious vampires in history,� Wesley said. �Well I hope they�re very happy together,� Gunn said. +++++++++++++++ �What are you thinking about?� Angel asked a few days later when he had awoken looking into eyes as blue as he remembered the autumn sky being. �Glad you�re not dust,� Spike said. �Little danger of that,� Angel said. �Could have been,� Spike said. �If I�d been a little more stupid about getting that ring back.� �Oh. That. Still very little danger.� Spike smirked. �Nice.� �That was long time ago,� Angel said. �And I kind of had it coming, anyway.� �What do you mean?� �That wasn�t just about the ring, Spike. It was about Dru, and Darla, and twenty years of torture and mindgames followed by a century of abandonment. The ring was just an excuse.� �Glad you understand it, Dr. Freud, cause I sure as hell don�t.� �There�s an old proverb,� Angel said. �You can never step into the same river twice. The river has changed, and so have you. Maybe it�s all changed for the better this time.� �Maybe.� Spike sounded unconvinced. Angel ran his hand across the younger one�s head. �Do you remember that winter we spent in Crete?� �God, yes,� Spike said. �Darla bitching non-stop about how drafty that damned castle was. You couldn�t wait to escape in the evening.� �I couldn�t wait to see you in that caf� off the plaza,� Angel said. �Under those oil lanterns with the smoked glass. You were so pale against those dark wooden walls. Luminous, like an old Dutch painting. I loved looking at you.� Spike lowered his eyes shyly. �Oh.� �And when we walked on the beach in the dark, so drunk we could barely stand. I didn�t have to play any roles.� Angel sighed. �That night you were wearing the fisherman�s cap and we�d had five or six bottles of ouzo. You started singing Gilbert and Sullivan tunes. I can�t remember when I�ve laughed so hard.� He cupped Spike�s cheek with one hand. �I wish I could have had you at my side like that all the time, but I was so caught up in the rules of Sire and Childe. All of us were.� �Some of us were just more comfortable with the status quo, I guess.� �You know what it�s like,� Angel said. �You have childer of your own.� Spike said nothing, and didn�t meet Angel�s gaze. �Don�t you?� Angel asked. �No,� Spike admitted. Angel sat up a little higher. �A hundred years on your own and you never made a childe? That�s hard to believe.� Spike shrugged. �Well, there was always Dru to take care of,� he said. �And after you left� I just didn�t have the heart for it. I couldn�t go through all that again, even if I was the Sire this time.� �Spike�� �Don�t say you�re sorry again,� Spike said. �It�s a different river.� +++++++++++++++ �I told you you didn�t have to come along,� Angel said over his shoulder to the vampire in the back seat as his convertible sped towards home. �I�m not waiting at home anymore, looking out the window like some stupid chit,� Spike retorted, though it was rather hard to understand him, seeing as his head and upper body were encased in rapidly solidifying demon-goo. Then he said something Angel couldn�t follow at all. �Don�t try to talk,� Angel told him. �We�ll get you out of that stuff first.� That task was easier said than done, as by the time they arrived at the hotel the substance had gone completely stiff, and could only be flaked off in layers with a flat-headed screwdriver. The entire process took over five hours, with all of Angel Investigations working together to remove enough of the shell for Spike to wriggle out. The younger vampire was completely exhausted, his skin rubbed raw and his hair damp with sweat, and he lay limply on the carpet like a kitten. �I�ll take it from here,� Angel said. �Thank you everyone.� There were various noises of acknowledgement, and then the humans were gone. Angel didn�t say anything, just lifted Spike up into his arms. �Put me down, you big ponce,� Spike said, but clearly his heart wasn�t in it. Angel carried Spike up to his bathroom and started a warm bath running while he helped Spike out of his clothes. �Leave me alone,� Spike said with a bit more energy. �I can take my own bath.� �I�ll bring you some clothes,� Angel said, leaving him alone. Spike emerged about twenty minutes later in Angel�s sweatpants and bathrobe, looking much better. �Still interested in helping fight the good fight?� Angel asked with a grin. �As I tried to tell you in the car,� Spike said, �I�m not going through what happened with the C�thorr demon anymore. If I�m afraid for you, I want it to be for a real reason, not a worst-case scenario my brain cooked up.� �You fought really well,� Angel said, climbing into bed. �I owe you one.� �Can I collect now?� Spike asked, climbing in beside him. Off Angel�s questioning look he leaned across and pressed his lips to his Sire�s. Angel started with surprise, so Spike put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him down on his back, deepening the kiss as he did so. He pressed his tongue inside Angel�s mouth and Angel responded, reaching one arm around Spike�s waist and arching up against the other vampire�s body. At last they broke away, panting. Angel stared up into eyes nearly black with lust. This is it, he thought, but Spike�s arms were shaking from the exertion of holding himself up and he collapsed against Angel�s chest. �I can�t,� Spike whispered. �I want to, but�� �It�s okay,� Angel said, stroking his hair. �Go to sleep. I�m not going anywhere.� �Better not,� Spike said, and then he was asleep. +++++++++++++++ As Angel tried to fall asleep himself in that room, with Spike's still form wrapped in his arms, he found himself imagining how it would be the next morning, when both of them were well-rested and could take their time. He would be careful, reverent. He would show Spike what it could be like with a partner who respected you and cared about your happiness... and maybe was beginning to fall in love with you. But Connor had woken up crying, and Angel was more than a little disappointed when Spike snuck off to his own room when Angel got up, without even mentioning the night before. Of course, it made sense, Angel thought as he changed his son. Spike had been emotionally vulnerable after his ordeal, and had wanted to be comforted- the same reason he'd made mental contact with Angel in the first place. But now that the crisis was over he was back to wanting to take it slow. Which Angel could understand. And it's not like either of them was getting any older. Where they were now, lying together each night, talking over old times in the darkness, it was nice. On the other hand, if Spike wanted to go forward, Angel was certainly willing. He was actually enjoying having to work this out together, rather than conforming to strict codes of behavior, codes that would never have allowed tenderness or generosity. Certainly not love. +++++++++++++++ Late that afternoon, Wesley entered from his office. "I'm leaving early," he announced. "Gunn and I are going out. I don't anticipate any problems, but don't hesitate to call us if something comes up." "Don't worry about it," Angel said. "It should be fine." "Good evening, then," Wesley said, and Angel heard him and Gunn laughing together as they left. Angel allowed himself a small smile. He liked both men and was glad they had found happiness with one another. A few moments later, Spike entered his office and slid the door closed. Angel felt his heart jump as he remembered Spike's penchant for exhibitionism and swallowed hard. "I have something to ask you," Spike said seriously. "Okay," Angel said, his mouth going dry. "I need... some money," Spike said. "To go buy some clothes. After that run-in last night I'm down to one outfit." Angel blinked as his brain switched tracks. "Yes, of course," he said. "How much do you need?" "Dunno," Spike said. "Hundred?" Angel took the petty cash box out of his desk and handed Spike five twenties. "How late do you think you'll be out," Angel asked. "Not sure. A few hours, I guess. Her Majesty gave me some places that sell basics pretty cheap if I can find a sale." Spike gave a wry smile. "Reduced to comparison shopping," he said. "How will I survive the humiliation." "I could go with you," Angel suggested, and Spike snorted. "No reason for both of us to be bored stupid," he said. "Don't worry, pet. You won't even miss me." And then he left. Angel heard him go out the front door, and again felt a stab of disappointment. He hoped Spike would be back soon. Cordelia entered next, Fred beside her and Connor in tow. "Listen," she told Angel. "Fred and I are going to take Connor. It's Baby Night at the Toreador." Angel stared at them as his brain switched tracks for the second time in five minutes, and he tried to figure out what Cordelia meant. "The Toreador? You mean the movie theatre?" "Yep," Cordy said. "And what's Baby Night?" "Everybody brings their baby." "It's a chance for moms and dads to go out without having to worry about a sitter," Fred explained. "Oh," Angel said. "So why are you going?" "Well I've really been dying to see this new French comedy," Cordy said, "and I thought we might possibly run into some cute single dads." "Plus, the tickets are half price," Fred said. "Have a good time, then," Angel said. "When do you think you'll be back?" "A couple of hours," Cordy said. "Relax. Enjoy the alone time. I mean, you haven't really had a good brooding opportunity since Connor came along." "See ya," Fred said chirpily, and the two girls set off. "Maybe I don't want to be alone," Angel murmured to himself. +++++++++++++++ Angel was re-arranging Connor's room, looking for something to distract him until Spike came back, which just went to show how not into alone time he was. He was about to try the cradle over by the window again when the phone rang, and he went quickly to the bedtable to answer it. "Angel, it's Cordelia," came the familiar voice. "Sorry to disturb you..." "It's okay," Angel said. "...but I had an incoming from the PTB. Doesn't look like any big, but you might want to check it out. Do you have a pencil?" "Yeah," Angel said, reaching for his pad. "Go ahead." "West Hollywood. Corner of Waring and Kings Road." "What am I looking for?" "A blond," Cordy said. "See you in a few hours or maybe tomorrow." Then she hung up. Growling under his breath, Angel threw on his coat and headed down to his car. He was still growling when he got to the intersection Cordy had indicated. It appeared to be deserted, with no convenient abandoned buildings to indicate where his quarry might be holed up. No. Wait. There was someone under that streetlamp. He was wearing a black cap, and his back was to Angel, but he appeared to be blond. Then he turned, and smiled. It was Spike, but he'd apparently changed into some of his new clothes, since he was carrying three large shopping bags and his normal street-thug ensemble was gone. Instead, he wore a tailored white shirt and black vest. Angel pulled over and stared in surprise. "Shut your mouth, Angel, before something crawls in and dies." Yep, sounded like Spike. "I suppose you're the blond Cordelia sent me after," Angel said. "You caught onto that faster than I thought you would," Spike said. "Guess I owe her five bucks." "You really shouldn't abuse the Emergency Vision System that way," Angel said. "You could have just asked me to meet you." "Not as fun," Spike said. "Now park this tank and give me the keys so I can put my clothes in the boot." Angel did so, then climbed out to join Spike. He blinked a few times in disbelief. "Is that... a Greek fisherman's hat?" "Yep," Spike said, looking rather proud of himself. "Found it in this second-hand store the princess sent me to. Figured it was kismet." "Kismet..?" "I'm trying to find that same river," Spike said softly. He slammed the trunk and took Angel's hand. "Come on," he said. And the surprises continue, Angel thought, looking down at their clasped hands. They had only gone a block or two when they found themselves on a street full of people enjoying the warm evening. "So," Angel said, "got the whole gang in on this, did you?" "Had to," Spike said. "Even if it meant listening to the 'if you hurt him I will hunt you down' refrain four times. Although, I don't think the little girl's heart was entirely in it. Ah, here we are." Angel looked up at the lavender-painted building Spike was leading him into. "The Chocolate Piranha Public House?" "It's a gay British pub," Spike said with a shrug. "Only in California, eh?" "How did you hear of this place?" Angel asked as they entered the dark bar, stepped down onto the sawdust strewn floor, and the mixture of imported beer and fried fish hit his nose. "Wesley and Gunn are house darts' champions," Spike said. "Convenient." A bar-boy came up to them. "Can I get you a table," he asked, "or do you just want to sit at the bar?" "We're friends of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce," Spike told him. "He called about..." "Oh, yes," the boy said with a wink. "Follow me, please." He led them into the room adjoining the bar, where there was a guitar-player performing traditional tunes and sat them at a booth beside the fireplace. "What can I get for you?" Angel glanced at Spike and smiled. "Ouzo, you think?" "Never could stand ouzo," Spike said. "Bring some Jameson's for me and some brandy for my friend. And could we kill this," he added, indicating the track light above the table. "The oil lamps will do us just fine." "Yes, sir," the boy said, turning. A few seconds later the light was dimmed. Angel felt a strange sort of temporal vertigo as he stared across the table at Spike's too-white face, like marble, gleaming in the lamplight. The younger vampire smiled as though he knew the success of the picture he had so carefully painted. "Taking you back?" he asked, his voice a low, throaty purr. "Yes," Angel said, his voice husky and quiet. �You�ve had my head spinning since last night.� �Good,� Spike said. �I was afraid� you were thinking we were going too fast. I was afraid I�d rushed you.� Spike smiled, a small, shy smile. �Never,� he said, and Angel felt an overwhelming tenderness filling him. He reached out and ran his fingertips along the side of Spike�s face, down to his chin. �I love you,� he said, then chuckled, lowering his eyes. �I only just realized that. These past few weeks, I�ve fallen in love with you.� In response, Spike moved forward, cradling Angel�s head in his hands and kissing him fiercely. Angel fell back against the cushioned seat, momentarily stunned, then returned the kiss in kind, snaking his arms around Spike�s body. The younger vampire broke away, panting, his eyes searching Angel�s, just for a moment before falling into another devouring kiss. When they separated, their waiter had already delivered their drinks and gone, and Angel snatched up Spike�s whiskey and downed it in one shot, much to Spike�s amusement. Laughing, Spike made a great show of raising Angel�s brandy and swirling it in the glass before draining it. �I sent a postcard to Sunnydale,� he said when they both had regained their composure. �Told them I was safe, and happy, and I wasn�t coming back.� �Did you tell them where you were?� Angel asked. �No, but they can read postmarks. If they care enough, they�ll figure it out.� �I can�t tell you how glad I am you�re staying,� Angel said. �I�� Spike was suddenly shy again. �I never thought I�d hear you say you loved me,� he said. �For so long it was the only thing I wanted.� If Angel thought he�d been overwhelmed before, he was totally undone now. �It was?� �Yes, you idiot,� Spike said, though there was no real anger there. �Didn�t you know?� Angel shook his head. �I�ve always loved you,� Spike said gently. �But I could never tell you, because of what we were to each other.� Angel pulled Spike into his arms again, kissing him over and over. �Let�s go,� he murmured. +++++++++++++++ They somehow got back to the hotel, though Spike had been in a haze since they�d left the pub. He remembered Angel�s arm around his shoulder, holding him close to that powerful body, and being kissed and caressed with such gentleness. Then he was being led up the stairs to Angel�s rooms. Inside, Angel read aloud the note that Cordelia had left, telling him that she and Fred had moved the baby�s crib into Fred�s room for the night, and then the note from Gunn that accompanied two red roses on the bedtable, wishing them happiness and luck. If Spike had been thinking a little more clearly, he might have been touched by the gesture. Or possibly annoyed. Angel stood back and looked at him for a long moment, then took the cap from Spike�s head, tossing it onto a chair. �What do you want?� Angel asked. �You,� Spike said, and Angel chuckled. �I think that�s pretty obvious,� he said. �Do you want to take the lead?� Spike licked his lips, and lowered his eyes. Angel leaned close to his ear and whispered, �tell me.� �I wouldn�t know how,� Spike said, embarrassed. �I�ve never been with a man, besides you.� �Alright, then,� Angel said. He put his hands on top of Spike�s head, then drew them down over his hair and neck, onto his shoulders and down his arms. He took Spike�s hands in his own and kissed him quite gently on the mouth. Spike tilted his face up and let out a sigh. Breaking the kiss, Angel began to slowly undo the buttons on Spike�s vest, then the buttons on his shirt, pulling it out from his trousers as he went down. He pushed the clothes off Spike�s shoulders and let them drop to the floor. He surveyed the smooth flesh, and laid his palm flat over Spike�s heart. �You�re shivering,� Angel said. �Are you afraid?� �No,� Spike breathed. �I don�t know what I am.� "I won't hurt you," Angel said. "I know," Spike said. Angel kissed Spike's throat, just below the jaw, then pressed a line of kisses down over his shoulder, then moved down over Spike's stomach. On his knees now, he undid Spike's belt and trousers and let them slip over Spike's hips and down to the floor. He helped Spike out of his socks and shoes, then stood to look him over again. Spike turned slightly, feeling terribly exposed, and Angel leaned forward again and kissed him. "Go lie down," Angel whispered. "Let me get out of my clothes." "No," Spike said. "Let me." And he took hold of Angel's sweater and pulled it up over his head. Angel let his childe undress him with uncertain fingers, and Spike was grateful for his patience. Spike let his fingertips linger on Angel's arms and hips, reveling in the trust he was being shown. At last Angel stood naked as well, and he pulled Spike to him. "Relax," Angel said. "What's wrong?" "I've never been with you like this," Spike said. "You never..." "No," Angel admitted. "I could never be open to you." "It's strange," Spike said. "I don't know what to do." "I'll take care of you," Angel said, and he guided Spike to the bed and laid him down on his back. Spike was trembling as Angel took the length of him into his mouth and worked it gently with his lips and tongue, and struggled against arching up, twisting his hands in the sheets. He felt Angel's large hands take his own, and then Angel's mouth was gone, just for a moment, and the older vampire said, "You can't hurt me, either. Let go, if you want to." And when the cool mouth descended again, Spike thrust himself uncontrollably into Angel's throat and came almost at once. Spike was still panting when Angel crawled up beside him. �I�m sorry,� Spike gasped. �For what?� �For�� Spike was at a loss. �What do you want?� Angel asked again. �I want you in me,� Spike said. �Are you sure?� Angel said, a little surprised. �I thought you�d like to try something new.� Spike laughed nervously. �I�m a little overwhelmed just at the moment,� he said. �Let�s just go with the familiar for now.� Angel nodded and sat up against the headboard. He fished in the bedtable drawer for a moment, then lifted Spike onto his lap. "It's going to be a little different," Angel told him. "I'm not going to hurt you like I used to. But I think you'll like this." Spike heard Angel open the tube he'd pulled out of the drawer, then felt Angel�s fingers pressing against him and inside him. They were slick and Angel was being so gentle, there was only the slightest sensation of pain. He was stretched and carefully prepared. Then Angel stroked against something inside and Spike saw stars. "I thought you'd like that," Angel said. "Hell's bells," Spike said. "I had no idea." "Neither did I until recently," Angel said, chuckling. "You can thank Wesley for that." "I'm stunned," Spike said. "Do it again." Angel did, and Spike wriggled with delight. "I think you're ready," Angel said, turning the younger vampire around, and lifting him up. "Relax," he said, and eased Spike onto his hardened cock. Spike let out a sigh, and leaned his head back into Angel's shoulder. Angel stroked Spike's hair back with one hand, then took hold of Spike's cock with the other. He encouraged Spike to begin moving, and then guided him so his cock would strike the spot inside, all the while stroking Spike's stiffening member. Spike moved more energetically, moaning low in his throat. He felt Angel's mouth on his shoulder, kissing softly against the salty skin, and then he heard Angel groaning, too, and panting. "I'm going to come, Spike," he growled, and when he did, Spike did, too, with a keening sound only vampires made. Angel disentangled them, and laid down with Spike alongside him. He was kissing his childe's shoulders, and throat, and face, very, very tenderly. "I love you," Spike said. "I love you, Sire, I love you." Angel gathered Spike in his arms, and held him close. "I love you, too, my beautiful childe. We wasted so much time." +++++++++++++++ Angel awoke the next morning to the sensation of something very lightly brushing over his skin: first his face and throat, then his belly. He opened one eye to see Spike holding one of the rosebuds and drawing lightly on his body. When he saw Angel watching him, he smiled sheepishly and put it down. �Sorry,� he said. �Don�t apologize,� Angel said. �It�s nice.� Spike replaced the rose with his fingers, touching Angel very gently. �I was thinking,� Spike said, �about last night.� �Are you all right?� �Yes, it�s not that,� Spike said. �I was just thinking� Maybe I would like to try something new.� +++++++++++++++ "So things are going well for the two of you," Wesley said. "Yes, they are," Angel said. "I know you were worried about him coming here..." "Yes, but anyone can see..." Wesley smiled fondly. "It's so obvious that you care so deeply for one another." "We do," Angel affirmed. "I hurt him so badly, I never thought we would ever be anything but enemies. But this connection has been a gift for us." "Perhaps that's why the vampire nature evolved to create such a link," Wesley said thoughtfully. "To protect the younger offspring in times of crisis by alerting the Sire." "Maybe," Angel said. "But it's about time these weird things about being a vampire started working to my advantage." +++++++++++++++ "So," Spike said later, as he lay half-alongside, half-on top of Angel in the darkness. "Do you think the kid will grow up all traumatized?" Angel turned his head to glance at Connor's crib. "What do you mean?" "Look how he's growing up," Spike said. "His Dad's a gay vampire who's buggering his adopted childe..." "Sounds sordid when you put it that way," Angel said. "Plus, there's mutual buggering. And mutual other things." "Fine," Spike said. "'In a carnal relationship with,' shall we say. Also part of the family, another gay couple, mixed-race..." "Race is a meaningless social construct," Angel said. "Listen to you," Spike said. "You've been in California too long. And let me finish before you counter-point. Then we have the half-demon psychic, the math genius who is *slightly* mad from five years as a slave in a demon dimension, not to mention good old Uncle Lorne, who actually is a demon, complete with horns." "I assume you have a point?" "When's he get moved to his own room?" Angel chuckled softly. "I'm serious," Spike said testily. "How can I bring in the whips and chains if I'm worried about the little bit being scarred for life?" "So you want me to tie you up, do you?" Spike hesitated for a moment. "Maybe," he said quietly. "Or I could tie you, if you want." Angel smiled and ran his fingertips along Spike's hairline. "He should be old enough soon. Or I could ask Fred to take him for the night if you're really concerned and you don't want to wait." Spike grunted non-committally, and Angel gave him a small squeeze. "That was weird," Spike said. "What was?" "Asking you like that. I never would have dared before. You would have killed me for even suggesting it." "I was different, then." "I like how you are now," Spike said. "And I like how I am, too." "That's good," Angel said. "I like you, too. And I love you, don't forget that." Angel felt Spike smile against his chest. "Love you, too," Spike said. "Let's stay in this river." Angel laughed, then leaned down to kiss the top of Spike's head. "We'll stay," he said. fin Main Menu   ~   Return to Stand Alone Menu

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