| A Lack of New Fanfic By Kuzibah |
| Part 11 of the Summer Vacation Series Disclaimer: I have a tiny little brain. Author�s Notes: Okay. Knee-deep in typing the latest story last night I came to the following conclusion. If I worked on it for two more weeks with several rewrites I might raise it to the level of actually sucking. It was a half-baked, mildly amusing idea that never really became an actual plot. I�d tell you about it, but then you�d insist it might not be that bad, and make me feel guilty, so you�ll have to trust me on this. It was bad. Really bad. It was a fanfic writing abortion. It made �Last Days of Pompeii� look delightfully restrained. I should just stop trying to be funny. Anyway, I didn�t want to leave you all high and dry, so I�m putting up some items that will appear or have appeared elsewhere. The first was written for Max�s �Dark Side� page, found here: http://www.btinternet.com/~hostile17/ A few weeks ago, Max wrote a panting, drooling, testosterone-soaked celebration of the Buffy women the Dark Side men love. He promised a similar site for the ladies, but knowing the leisurely pace Max has in updating his site (not that I blame him, he has a wife, a job, a blossoming academic career, and a full-on cannabis habit to keep him busy), I took it upon myself to write one for him, in his style. If he were a girl, that is. (Warning: one very naughty word that ITW will probably edit and a few vulgarities. Sorry.) Next is an essay I posted to an email ring about Willow becoming a lesbian. Please, it is entirely tongue-in-cheek and not intended to stir up controversy. But I do think it�s somewhat amusing (it�s also fairly tasteless and adult in nature. Again, sorry.) Last is a piece I wrote for Enigma�s book about why I write, both fanfiction and in general. Read it and know why I give my muse all the kicking around I do. Feedback, as always, is appreciated. Archive- Sure, but email me and let me know where it�s going. Feedback- Absolutely. ******************* Objects of Dark Side Ladies� Lust or Buffy Boys We�d Like to Know in a Conjugal Manner Giles- Under the proper, tweedy, British exterior beats the heart of a teenage necromancer gone bad. After all, you don�t get a nickname like �Ripper� lightly. Our occasional glimpses of the former bad boy have intrigued many Dark Side ladies, some to the point of the distraction. Take him home and listen to classic rock while sipping lager. Wesley- Up until joining Angel Investigations we had our doubts that the former Watcher even had a Y chromosome. After all, he had the fabulous Cordy in his arms and couldn�t even kiss her properly. But while we were extremely dubious about his return, Wes has surprised us all. I�m not saying he�s a full-on lust object yet, but knowing he�s up to wearing leather, driving a motorcycle, and torturing suspects with crossbow bolts gives us cause for hope. Take him to a good restaurant and feed him well. Oz- A rock musician and a teenage werewolf, Oz is the epitome of laid-back cool. He�s not much for the sweet talk or, well, talking in general, but he is sweet and tender and the evidence suggests he�s quite the virtuoso in the sack. Did we mention he�s a werewolf? By his own admission, a perfect night with Oz involves a feather boa and the theme from �A Summer Place.� Doyle- He drinks heavily, he gambles, he ogles women, he lusts after Cordelia, he�s said some of the most vulgar things ever uttered in the Buffyverse, and he�s half demon. Hell, if he hadn�t had his face burned off in a tragic giant Christmas ornament mishap, he�d be a Dark Side role model. Plus, he�s so fucking adorable you just want to put him in your pocket. A few shots of single-malt and he�s all yours, ladies. Incidentally, I�d like to mention that while GLRs *sob* and *sigh* over the untimely deaths of beloved characters, Dark Side ladies send death threats. In blood. Angel- Amazingly enough, it was only after separating from Buffy that Angel�s full potential as a bad-ass vampire was realized (while Buffy went on to prove all her taste was in her mouth). Sure, he broods and he�s got this annoying tendency to fight evil, but once he strips to the waist (which he does rather often, thank YOU, �Angel� writing staff) what difference does it make. I mean, those eyes, that mouth, those shoulders, that chest� I�m sorry, are you still here? Any dates involve a quiet night at home, but you can always work on that �true happiness� thing. Which brings us to� Angelus- When Angel experiences �true happiness� his soul is lifted from his body and the demon inside takes over, with homicidal wackiness ensuing. And you were pissed off just because that loser last year didn�t call you the next day. Same fabulous form without the angst, Angelus is big into torture and mayhem. Plus, he�s got a great sense of humor. Ask him to tell you about the time he nailed up the puppy. It�s hysterical. Do you want fries with that? How about dipping sauce? And we�ve saved the best for last� Spike- Evil, violent, and bitterly sarcastic, Spike is a Dark Side wet dream come true. He�s got cheekbones that could bevel fine-grained wood, and a body that�s like sex on a stick. Adored by women, respected by men, plus he finally seems to have dropped his torch for Drusilla, so party on. Unapologetic in his badness, reveling in his cruelty, and he�s even a soccer fan. The total Dark Side package, baby. We can only stand in awe. - - - - - - - - - - Was Willow's Lesbianism Foreshadowed in "Doppelgangland?" or Why All Vampires Eventually End Up Evil, Skanky, and Kind of Gay Giles: "It's extraordinary." Willow: "It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay." Buffy: "Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was." Angel: "Well, actually... That's a good point." Warning: The following essay contains gay and lesbian stereotypes used for comic effect, girl-on-girl and boy-on-boy action, several childish euphemisms for sexual intercourse, and spoilers for "New Moon Rising." For immature adults only. Well, it's official. Willow's a lesbian. She chose Tara over Oz without even a connecting flight in bisexuality. It was handled in a thoughtful, intelligent, adult, and, above all, tasteful manner. Really tasteful. PMRC tasteful. It was all about candles and chaste promises and peasant blouses and a discreet fade to black. It was sweet and tender. And I didn't believe a second of it. No, that's not entirely true. At the time, based on the amazing performance of Alyson Hannigan, I believed she actually was letting go of Oz and surrendering to her Sapphic passions, but in the greater scheme of things, we had no indication that Willow had homosexual leanings, let alone that she would leave the hetero lifestyle completely behind. There just wasn't any basis for it. Except... that offhanded comment from "Doppelgangland," which is brought up again and again as "proof" that Willow had lesbian leanings somewhere in her subconscious. And that's the ONLY proof. Well, I don't buy it. And here's why. VampireWillow, in addition to her indiscriminate sexual leanings, is sadistic, regarding her "partners" as toys for her amusement. In short, she has reverted to form as the vampire as predator. We've seen this in other vampires. In addition to the obvious "hunt, kill, and feed" paradigm, vampires will victimize their prey mentally, emotionally, and, most importantly for our purposes, sexually. Drusilla takes the form of Jenny to torment Giles. There is an undeniable sexual element to VampireXander and VampireWillow's attack on Cordelia. And I don't even need to describe the emotional/sexual elements of Angelus and Buffy's relationship. And when the mortal flesh gives out (as it does all too quickly) vampires turn on one another. Both in the Buffy-verse and the world of "The Wish" Angel was despised by other vampires as weak, and thus fair game for torment. When Angel turned evil, he had no problem torturing the crippled Spike. There is a definite and well-defined hierarchy among vampires, based on age and power, and the lower vampires on the totem pole are at the capricious mercy of those above. Recall that one of Angel's creations immolated herself on purpose just so Angel could get Buffy's attention, and the idea of a young vampire allowing him or herself to become the vessel of his or her sire's carnal desire is not so far-fetched. What this means (I think) is that when a person becomes a vampire, all of his or her fears, desires, ambitions, and even stray fantasies become the tools of the predatory possessing demon. So, assuming a vampire lives long enough, he or she will sooner or later get around to indulging his or her darkest, deepest, most sadistic desires. And let's face it, we've all had the stray one pass through our minds. Even Willow. And because this kind of victimization is perhaps the most traumatizing to the victim, much more so than physical torture, it is highly satisfying to the vampire. So the vampire is very likely to tap that vein again (pun entirely intended). What does this mean? It means Angelus was Darla's boy toy. It means Angelus not only had it on with Drusilla, but probably molested Spike AND Penn (plus any other vampires he created that we don't yet know about). He might even have taken advantage of Spike during season 2 (which would explain Spike's resentment towards Angel). Maybe Spike took his revenge when he had Angel on the hooks in "In the Dark." Lestat and Louis were intimate, LaCroix and Nicholas made the sign of the wild prairie stork, and the vamps in Kindred: The Embraced were shagging like bunnies. This is not to restart the argument about whether Willow�s relationship with Tara is believable or not. We all have our own opinions, and realistically, it is going to continue, no matter what we think. But the comment in �Doppelgangland� was not so much foreshadowing as a comment on vamp sexuality in general. - - - - - - - - - - Why I Write by Kuzibah A lot of writers, artists, and other creative types often talk about their "muse." The muse is a rather charming holdover from ancient Greek mythology. There were nine of them, sisters, and each was said to inspire a different artistic discipline. Calliope, for instance, inspired musicians, while Terpsichore gave dancers their creative impulse. There are streets named after them in New Orleans, one of my favorite cities, and they show up with great frequency in Classical art. Depictions of them are highly romanticized. They are shown as lovely young women, either artistically nude or draped in elegant togas, and they gently beguile the artist to pursue his work. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most productive artists, myself included, will tell you their muse is nothing like some pale, delicate girl, whispering ideas into the artist's ear. The muse doesn't suggest or cajole. She demands. She marches right into your brain, hoists a four-inch stiletto heel onto your frontal lobe, cracks her cat-o-nine-tails, and says in a piercing voice, "listen up, you!" Then she proceeds to torment you day and night with some idea. Characters emerge and take up residence with her, playing out plotlines, spinning off dialogue, and insisting you, YOU, must bring them to life. And if you don't, well, then, bucky, you'd just better get used to them traipsing around in your brain. After awhile you see and hear them all the time. When you're grocery shopping, one of them will pipe up to let you know how much he likes summer sausage. You go out for a walk, and they're walking beside you, pointing out the kind of house they live in, or the kind of dog they had. You see and hear them everywhere, yammering on and on until you sit down at your desk and start writing them out. Sometimes you get a few pages and you realize they really didn't have that much to say. If you're a good listener, you'll get a whole story. If you can discipline yourself to keep at the typewriter or computer, you'll get full stories more often than not. Then when you're done, you can enjoy the silence. For a day or two, anyway. I didn't start out writing fanfic. I write my own stories under my family nickname and maiden last name, Nina Hale, and my given name and married last name, Virginia Ely. I also write "adult fiction" (other than fanfic, probably the genre that most encourages amateurs) under another pseudonym. But Buffy excited my imagination like nothing else. I could hear the characters. Angel, especially, seemed to take up permanent residence in my brain, whispering to me in his soft, sensual voice about his dreams and his fears and his aspirations. He enchants me and breaks my heart. Just when I think I've written everything, the characters tell me something new. Most "real" writers will tell you fanfic is not the way to break into writing for pay, and they are probably correct. And if I wrote purely as a means to an end, that end being a paycheck, I would tell Angel and the others to pack their bags and go bother someone else. But I write because I love it, and because I have to, and that is why the Angel stories and the other various Buffy stories keep coming. I am gratified with the positive feedback, and I appreciate everyone's support, and I am grateful that a quality website like The Cross and Stake has given me such a wonderful venue to share my work. Thank you to all of my fans. Part 12- Doyle: A Day in the Life Main Menu ~ Summer Vacation Series |