DeclareThePennies

Disclaimer: None of the "Angel" characters are mine. I shall endeavor to go on...

Note: For our International people, April 15 is �Tax day� in the US, the day all our income tax return forms are due.

Archive- Sure, but email me and let me know where it�s going.

Feedback- Absolutely.

*******************

"What do you mean you don't have my W-2 form," Cordelia shrieked.

Angel winced. "Cordelia," he said calmly, "I pay you under the table, in cash, what you need when we have it. I never kept records."

"Well, why not?" Cordelia demanded. "How am I supposed to fill out my tax return if I don't know how much you paid in taxes?"

Angel braced himself before speaking again. "Um... I never paid any taxes."

Cordelia screamed.

"Oh my God, oh my God," she said, starting to hyperventilate. "You're supposed to. It's on the website."

Wesley stuck his head in from the outer office. "Are you alright?" he asked Cordelia.

"No, I am not alright," she said, her voice rising to a hysterical pitch. "I have to file my tax return and I have no idea what I owe!" She started to babble. "They'll find out. What if they audit me? I could lose everything! They could send me to jail!"

Wesley took hold of her shoulders and turned her towards him. "Focus, Cordelia, right here," he said, pointing to his eyes with his first two fingers. "Deep breaths. De-e-ep breaths. Thatta girl."

�Wait a minute,� she said, suddenly brightening. �You�ve filled out taxes. You can help me.�

Wesley shifted uncomfortably. �Actually,� he said softly, �I haven�t. Not here in the states, anyway.�

Cordelia threw up her hands in exasperation. �Wonderful,� she said, �the three of us can share a cell in tax prison.�

�Look,� Wesley said stiffly, �I�m technically a resident alien. I�m not even allowed to work without a green card, and let�s face it, trying to explain the work I�m currently doing to an INS agent would be laughable, at best.�

�He�s right,� Angel said. �And I can�t even begin to tell you the problems I would have. This business has to stay strictly cash.�

Cordelia sank heavily into a chair and pressed her fingers to her temples. �You�re right,� she said. �What am I going to do?�

�You mentioned a website?� Angel prompted gently.

�Yes, the website!� Cordelia was excited again. �You can help me! Even if you are a couple of tax evaders.�

Wesley sniffed indignantly. Angel merely shrugged.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wesley looked over the 1040 form. �I�ve read grimoires in ancient Anatolian that were less oblique.� He sat at the desk and picked up a ball-point pen. �Okay, Cordelia, let�s take these one at a time. �Occupation?�� He began to write. �Secretary.�

�Investigative associate,� Cordelia corrected.

�Put �office assistant,�� Angel said.

�Employer?�� Wesley continued. �Should we put �Angel Investigations?��

Angel bit his top lip in thought. �I wonder if there�s a way to imply she works in a private arrangement��

�Free-lance, you mean,� Wesley said.

Cordelia buried her face in her hands. �I�m going to jail,� she said.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Several hours and six arguments later, they had finally finished. Wesley ran the numbers through the calculator one final time to be certain, then cleared his throat. �One thousand, three hundred and sixty-seven dollars and twenty-three cents,� he announced.

�What?!� gasped Angel and Cordelia at once.

Wesley held up the papers. �Check the figures yourself,� he said, massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingertips.

Cordelia snatched the papers out of his hand and flipped through them while Angel read over her shoulder.

�Do we have any aspirin?� Wesley murmured, and Angel gestured towards the mini-fridge.

�This is unbelievable,� Cordelia said, her voice hushed with awe.

�Didn�t your country fight a revolution for much less?� Angel asked.

Wesley washed down three aspirins with a half-cup of cold coffee and grimaced. �I agree, it�s nigh on extortion,� he said. �Plus we haven�t even started on the state and local returns.�

The color drained from Cordelia�s face as she and Angel stared at Wesley with undisguised horror.

�I wonder if county and municipal are filed separately in Los Angeles?� Wesley mused.

Cordelia gave a small whimper and backed against Angel�s chest. �Hold me,� she whispered.

Main Menu ~ Return to Stand Alone Menu