A. - Trivia

• Courtney was married in an old dress of Frances Farmer's.

• "Breed" was originally called "Imodium," based on the medicine that the lead singer of Tad used on one of their European tours.

• "Stay Away" was originally called "Pay To Play" and was recorded as that. A last minute change of taste caused the change.

• 'In Utero' went through 2 name changes. It was originally to be called "I Hate Myself And Want To Die' and then later "Verse, Chorus, Verse."

• The morning of the New Music Seminar 7/23/93, Kurt OD'd on heroin; Courtney injected him with an illegal drug used to wake people who've OD'd on heroin. He went on-stage and performed. No one knew the difference.

• The rights for "Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story" were sold to Paradigm Talent, who plan to make a movie. Cobain's family prevented Azerrad from selling the rights to his stunning authorized biography "Come As You Are: The Story Of Nirvana."

• Some of Kurt's early jobs before becoming a full time musician included being a janitor of his old school for eight months and being a lifeguard for a summer. His other main hobbies included his artwork, and reading.

• If Nirvana had stuck with the Sub-Pop label as originally planned; for their second album it would have been titled "Sheep." Kurt said so in the circulated "The Bark Not The Bite" interview. Krist brings up in "Nevermind - It's An Interview," that it basically would have consisted of the Butch Vig demos with a few other songs.

• Chad Channing is actually the one who plays the cymbal parts on the Nevermind version of "Polly." He is not credited on the album, because there really is no percussion part to the song. It was recorded in the earlier Vig sessions, and not when Nevermind was formally recorded.

• Nirvana will be eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014. The way it works is that you become eligible 25 years after your first album release. And Nirvana's first album 'Bleach' was released in 1989.

• There are two lines in the Nevermind liner notes that are not lyrics on the album:
  
  1) "The second coming came in last and out of the closet"
  2) "At the end of the rainbow and your rope"

• Thanks to Kurt's Uncle by marriage, Larry Smith:
  I wanted you all to know that Kurt used to tell my sister that he was "forever in debt to your priceless advice" when they were bitching at each other. It used to just piss her off royally when he said that. When me and Debbie (my wife) first heard those words set to music, I just got goosebumps. I discussed the meaning with her, and she would tell me that she was "forever in debt to my priceless advice" just to be smart-aleck! :-) Let me tell you that my wife certainly loved Kurt, and especially what he stood for. She was a huge fan. She was really hit hard by his death, as I know so many of you were. She was in the hospital a couple of months ago, and on some pretty heavy medication. She was really grieving for Kurt and the whole damn situation when she was "out of it." It was hard to see her like that.
  
  Does anyone know of the origin of that phrase (priceless advice...) other than what I know, I mean from the musical standpoint? I would be interested to hear. Let me also tell you that Don and Jen had a dog named Blackie that used to wear an e-collar (that plastic thing that keeps them from taking out stitches or whatever from their hind quarters). The dog in the video (CAYA) looks so eerily like Blackie. Also, I will relate to you about what I feel is significant about the water coming down the stairs. Made me just cringe (still does). You know, there are a significant number of people in my age bracket who just still love Nirvana...I know, hard to believe. Will write more soon. Listening to Lithium at this moment. Gives me chills down my spine when I hear Kurt's voice. It's all so weird, and so damn sad. You know, my lower lip still trembles...young Kurt was so unbelievably idealistic and so far ahead of his time...

• There are Muzak (elevator music) versions of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Negative Creep" on a CD titled "Grunge Lite" (CZ 064).

B. - Frequently Asked Questions

IV. TV And Radio Appearances

04/17/87 - KAOS Olympia Community Radio - Olympia, WA
Love Buzz / Floyd The Barber / Downer / Mexican Seafood / White Lace And Strange / Spank Thru / Anorexorist / Hairspray Queen / Pen Cap Chew

10/26/89 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
About A Girl / Love Buzz / Polly / Spank Thru

11/01/89 - VPRO-FM Radio Station (Nozems a Go Go) - Hilversum, Holland
About A Girl / Dive / Love Buzz

09/25/90 - KAOS Olympia Community Radio (Boy Meets Girl Radio) - Olympia, WA
Opinion / Lithium / D-7 / Dumb

10/21/90 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
D-7 / Molly's Lips / Son Of A Gun / Turnaround

09/03/91 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
Dumb / Drain You / Endless, Nameless

11/05/91 - BBC Studios (Mark Goodier Radio 1 Session) - London, England
Been A Son / (New Wave) Polly / Aneurysm / Something In The Way

11/08/91 - BBC Studios "The Word" - London, England
Smells Like Teen Spirit

11/24/91 - VARA-FM Studios (Twee Meter De Lucht In) - Hilversium, Holland
Here She Comes Now (take 1) / Here She Comes Now (take 2) / Where Did You Sleep Last Night

11/27/91 - BBC Studios "Top of the Pops" - London, England
Smells Like Teen Spirit (lip-synched goth version)

12/06/91 - Channel 4 Studios "Jonathan Ross Show" - London, England
Territorial Pissings

01/10/92 - MTV Studios - New York City, NY
SOUNDCHECK: On A Plain / Stain
PERFORMANCE: Drain You / School / Molly's Lips / Polly / Aneurysm Smells Like Teen Spirit / Territorial Pissings
*(Total playing time: about an hour, these tracks NOT IN ORDER)

01/11/92 - NBC Studios (Saturday Night Live) - New York City, NY
Smells Like Teen Spirit / Territorial Pissings

09/09/92 - UCLA's Pauley Pavilion (MTV Video Music Awards) - Los Angeles, CA
Rape Me (intro) / Lithium

09/25/93 - NBC Studios (Saturday Night Live) - New York City, NY
Heart Shaped Box / Rape Me

11/18/93 - Sony Studios (MTV Unplugged) - New York City, NY
About A Girl / Come As You Are / Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam / Dumb / The Man Who Sold The World / Pennyroyal Tea / Polly / On A Plain / Plateau / Lake Of Fire / All Apologies / Where Did You Sleep Last Night
*(Aired 12/16/93 in this order above, true order and song list is reflected on the Unplugged CD)

02/04/94 - Canal Nulle Part Ailleurs - Paris, France
Rape Me / Pennyroyal Tea / Drain You

02/23/94 - RAI Italian TV: Tunnel - Rome, Italy
Serve The Servants / Dumb

V. Miscellaneous

A. - Krist Novoselic's Internet posts

This is the first of his posts:

From: Krist Novoselic <[e-mail address deleted]>
Newsgroups: alt.music.nirvana
Date: 24 Sep 94 21:34 PDT
Subject: Steve Tyler is cool.

Kurt respected Steven tyler and Aerosmith very much.  He met Steven once and
Steven laid a NA trip on him & Courtney and Mike Starr from Alice in Chains.
Not preaching about NA , just relating about his trips with drugs and all.
They would all have been good to listen to Mr. TR  Tyler.  Steve knew hiss 
shit and just wanted to relate to them.  Youthful cynicism or what ever, 
we shall see.

This is the second post:

From:  [e-mail address deleted]
Date: Wed Nov  9 18:12:43 EST 1994

  Thank you all for the messages.  I cannot answer n  any of them.  I am sorry.
I don't have the time or the energy and frankly, I can't dwell on Nirvana.
I can't spill my guts.  It's too personal and again, I can't dwell on it.  I
guess I'm the little bass player who can't.  Chugga, chugga, choo, choo.
Wow that was a rush.  I'm embarassed!  There is too much pain.  I'm over the
daily "grief waves" but still go through feelings of confusion, anger, regrets,
missing him and alot of times a feeling of beautiful loving feelings for my
friend.  Fuck this is enough.  Next time I'll upload so my software can tell
me when i am repeating words too often.  It's late and I'm kinda tired.

  Nothing matters anymore anyway.  The christians are going to baptise us
before we're marched up to the wall.  I'm talking about the mid term elections.
When the Christian coalition comes a knocken, both house's are gonna have to
heed.  If that's the case, God help us all! (sic)  True Christains want to
emulate Jesus.  You know, to be right on and not judge, be forgiving bring
wine to weddings and have long hair and a beard.
  The suede denim secret police are gonna get me for that one, fer sure.  Wow,
by the way I've been rambling, you'd think that I was Courtney or some thing.
I could never match that prose though, shre(Whoops) she should get her degree.
  So many people are gonna read this because Krist Novoselic wrote it but let
me tell you this, I am a man of the proletariat!  This is quite a boast comming
from my tax bracket.  Remember, socialism is an ethic not an ideology!  I write
this under the gase of an actual portrait, not a print, of Lenin.  I scored
this at the Pike Place Market and it came from some soviet beu  bureau in
Vladivostok.  Newt Gingrich has his St Paul I have no one.  You don't think
that I'm some le bolshevik.  Who needs Lenin when you have Mao?  I'm gonna
start a shining path sattelite up here in the northwest.  I want a Satellite
with a 383 and a four speed pistol grip shifter.  Super Bee.  Coronet. Charger.
  The whole of this silly rant is that I really don't have much to say, right
now.  Sure if I were to be in the seat next to you on a plane and we struck
up a conversation, we'd pass the time by discussing the topics of the day or
what ever.  I cannot answe5r Nirvana questions.  The mail I got was sweet and
I apreaciate it by hey, as the Flav says, "Can't do nothing for you man!"
To be truthful, I'll read your messages but won't reply.  Who am I any way.
I'm the guy next in line at Safeway.  I'm the person in the left lane of traffic
who gets uptight when people won't get over.  I was in an e imencly popular
rock band.  Did I spell immense right?  What ever.  I understand the power of
music so i understand you all.  Sometimes I can't understand jack asses who
talk shit about dear old Kurt but as a true democrat,NO party affiliation,
I'll respect the fact that they have a right to thier opinion, no matter how
shallow and misinformed it is.  We need more respect in this world.
  Remember that the music biz and the rock press have a symbiotic relationship.
  Remember that Nirvana was about music, first and foremost.
  Remeber Leon Trotsky.  THe Fugs, "Dirty Old Man".
  Remember not to e mail me.  I will not answer.
  You are all good.  good bye and god blesss!

Here is the third post:

From: NOVOSELIC ON RS#748 
Newsgroups: alt.music.nirvana
Subject: NOVOSELIC ON RS#748
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 15:13:50 -0800

I've just finished reading the Rolling Stone Article on Pearl 
Jam and Eddie Vedder.  It breaks my heart the way they tear 
apart Eddie.  I really don't think Rolling Stone has the authority 
to carry out such a thrashing.  There are many points in the 
article that I take issue with.

	First off, on a personal note, it was painful that those 
writers had to exhume Kurt to build up their case against Pearl 
Jam.  R.S. opened up a can of worms.  No one was above or 
below receiving a negative perspective from Kurt.  No one.  Some 
were printed, some weren't.  I'll assure Rolling Stone that a 
quickly penned message on a T-shirt was the least of it.  I'll tell 
you this though, if Kurt knew someone was personally hurt by 
his words, he truly felt bad.  God bless Kurt.

	It seems like the magazine believes it has license to use 
Kurt's name to illustrate any point it wants to make.  A few 
months ago it was a reefer madness, anti-drug hysteria article 
against Seattle.  Now they dig up Kurt to slam one of our 
exemplary community leaders.  This belligerence and disrespect 
annoys me.

	What standard is R.S. basing its scrutiny on?  For R.S. to 
judge Pearl Jam or Eddies credibility, in regards to the 
revolution, is a complete ruse.  If not the revolution, then what 
are they holding him up to?  I have original copies of the earliest 
R.S. magazines.  I love them.  30 years ago they had something 
to say.  Printed on newsprint it was like a fanzine, the music and 
politics covered were truly revolutionary.  Today, the magazine 
is pop culture and political status quo.  Why did R.S. move 
away from it's original mission?  It did so to keep up with it's 
demographic.  R.S. may be successful but is it real?  I'd like to 
quote a true revolutionary, Jesus Christ, who said, "It is better 
to have not known me than to have known me and turned 
away".  

	R.S. turned away long ago.  Rolling Stone magazine 
doesn't have the authority or credibility to judge anyone.

	Krist Novoselic

B. - Mini book reviews:

This is a list of the books out there dealing with Nirvana read by Jeff, and his opinions on them:

Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana - by Michael Azerrad
Virgin Books - Released 10/21/93. Rereleased late '94 with new final chapter.
-A necessity. If you like Nirvana and don't have this book, go out and buy it. Referred to online as "CAYA".

Route 666: On the Road to Nirvana - by Gina Arnold
-I skimmed this book in the bookstore one day, and it only appeared to briefly mention the band. The main focus is on the music scene.

Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story - by Dave Thompson
-This book reads like a tabloid newspaper does. Filled with inaccuracies.

Cobain - The Editors of Rolling Stone
-This is a great collection of articles and interviews about Nirvana from the archives of Rolling Stone. The pictures are great and so are the articles. It's a hardcover and will run you about $30, but it's well worth it.

C. - Early Nirvana Biography:

NIRVANA is a three piece from the outskirts of Seattle WA. Kurdt-Guitar/Voice and Chris-Bass have struggled with too many un dedicated drummers for the past 3 years. Performing under such names as: Bliss, Throat Oyster, Pen Cap Chew, Ted Ed Fred ETC... for the last 9 months we have had the pleasure to take Chad-Drums under our wings and develop what we are now and always will be NIRVANA. 3 regularly broadcasted carts on K.C.M.U. (Seattle College Radio also KAOS Olympia) Played with: Leaving Trains, Whipping Boy, Hells Kitchen, Trecherous Jaywalkers + countless local acts. Looking for: EP or LP ...We have about 15 songs recorded on 8 tracks at Reciprocal Studios in Seattle. Willing to compromise on material (some of this shit is pretty old) Tour any-time forever. Hopefully the music will speak for itself. Please Reply. Thank You.

D. - Kurts Cobain's Designed Fender Jag-Stang:

Specifications:
Body: Basswood
Neck: Maple
Machine Heads: Vintage Style
Fretboard:Rosewood (7.25" Radius/184mm)
No of Frets: 22
Pickups: Vintage Style (neck),Humbucker
Controls: Master Volume, Master Tone
Bridge/Tremolo: Floating Tremolo
Pickup Switching: 2P/U On/Off In/Out Phase
Scale Length: 24" (609.6mm)
Neck Width @ Nut: 1.5625" (39.68mm)
Designed by: Kurt Cobain and Larry Brooks

E. - Dave Grohl's top 10 drummer jokes:

1. What do Ginger Baker and canteen coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.


2. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, so long as the roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.

3. What is the difference between a chiropidist and Ginger Baker?
A chiropidist bucks up your feet

4. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it.

5. How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.

6. How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in

7. How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth

8. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

9. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.

10. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"

F. - 1992 Australian tour info:

• Tour Promoter: Steve Pavlovic. (As mentioned in liner notes of Incesticide)
• Publicist: Mandy Barron.
• First show in Australia: Friday, January 24th 1992 at the Phoenician Club in Sydney, Australia. Support Bands: Tumbleweed, The Meanies.
• Last show in Australia: Friday, February 7th 1992 at Selina's, Coogee Bay Hotel, Sydney, Australia. Support Bands: Nunbait, Crow, and Cosmic Psychos
• This was the Start of their Pacific Rim Tour, including New Zealand, Japan and Hawaii.
• The Violent Femmes were paid three times the amount Nirvana earned for their Big Day Out show in Sydney, 1992.
• Jimmy Barnes' (popular Australian performer of the 80's) management rang and asked if Nirvana would play a show with him in Paramatta.
• All Apologies was premiered during the Australian Tour, on the 5th of February, at the ANU Bar at Canberra, and was subsequently played during the next couple of nights as well.
• Because of Cobain's poor health because of his stomach condition, the show at Festival Hall in Brisbane on the 27th of January had to be cut short, and the Perth show at the Metropolis on the 29th was subsequently canceled.
  

  G. - FAQ Of "Perfume" - Kurt Cobain's Favorite Book:

  Scentless Apprentice is based on the book Perfume by Patrick S�skind. One of Kurt's favorite books, a book he read several times. Kurt put the full book into 13 short lines in the song. Please take this as a guide not a Bible in how to read this song, this is how I myself see this song, and I might not be correct all the time. I've done my best though. And remember, read th book BEFORE you read this page and try to find out what Scentless Apprentice means, as this page won't make a sense without knowing what the book is about. The book should be available at your local library or online at www.amazon.com.
  
  Like most babies smell like butter
  His smell smelled like no others
  
  Grenouille was born without a normal human scent. The priest featured in the beginning of the book points out that all babies are born with a scent of butter, and because Grenouille does not have that scent, he is the devil's creature ...
  
  Not until his mid-twentiws Grenouille would be accepted as a normal person that people would notice, when he made up his own human-scent perfume ...
  
  He was born scentless and senseless
  He was born in a scentless apprentice
  
  ... Grenouille did not have a human scent, nor did he have normal human senses. His smell was excellent and his vision was terrible, so as he grew up he would navigate himself by the use of his nose, most likely with his eyes closed, as they were of no help at all for him ...
  
  Grenouille was born in a fish hut, and the reason he didn't get normal senses was because his mother tried to kill him as soon as he was born. She let him lie among raw fish and shit in the hut to die, and left him. Neighbours heard his screams though, and his mother was soon arrested and sentenced to death.
  
  Go away - get awat, get away, get a-way
  
  Grenouille couldn't stand the human scent because of his ultra-sensitive nose. So he couldn't stand being around other human beings.
  
  This is also one of a few personal lines from Kurt. The media and mainstream rock world has fucked him over so many times he just wants them to stay away from him and his family and his band.
  
  Every wet nurse refused to feed him
  
  Babies without a mother to breast-feed them was given other women to feed them. Those women got paid for their work, and some even lived off of feeding other people's babies. Grenouille went through several of these, but every one of them passed him on to the next "breast-mother" because he was greedy and took all the milk. That meant there were no milk left for the rest of the babies, and they would only get paid for one baby.
  
  Electrolytes smell like semen
  
  Grenouille with his unique nose noticed how men stunk of sweat and semen.
  
  I promise not to sell your perfumed secrets
  
  When Grenouille left perfume-maker Baldini, who'd gotten rich off of Grenouille's unique skills, he had to promise never to tell anyone about any of the perfume formulas. This didn't bother Grenouille as he was full of new formulas. Right after Grenouille had left Baldini's life, he died.
  
  There are several formulas for pressing flowers
  I lie in the soil and fertilize mushrooms
  
  At first, Grenouille though fertilizing was the only way to press flowers and get their scent. When he discovered the endless formulas to get the scent out of an item, he was amazed, and spent all night long trying to discover new methods ...
  
  So he would sit up all night long trying to get the scent out of every item he could find, using all sorts of methods.
  
  Leaking out fumes are made into perfume
  
  Grenouille didn't like the fact that some of the scent leaked out and he couldn't catch all of it. But as he practiced, he learned how to make all the fumes into perfume.
  
  You can't fire me because I quit Throw me in the fire and I won't throw a fit
  
  Grenouille was never fired from a job, he just quit and left the town without letting anyone know, most likely with a catastrophe hitting the town he'd just left a matter of days later ...
  
  Grenouille didn't have any senses, he could do anything without getting more pain than what he already had. The people he worked for told him to do horrible things, but Grenouille did it without making a scene out of it.
  
  This is also personal lines from Kurt. He used to quit jobs without letting anyone know about if, just stop showing up, when he was young ...
  
  The media invaded Kurt and Courtney's lives. They "threw him in the fire". But there was nothing he could do to get back at them, so he "couldn't throw a fit" at them for doing what they did.
  
  Perfume is an excellent book. I do not say this because Kurt liked it, but because it really is an excellent book. I've read it five times so far as of writing this, and I suggest to anyone who hasn't read it already to read it as soon as they get a chance. Also check out other books by Patrick S�skind, as he is a great writer. Books can be found in your local library or online at www.amazon.com.

  H. - Nirvana album linear notes:

  H1. - Nevermind:

  Spring is here again, tender age in bloom, he knows not what it means, sell the kids for food, we can have some more. The water is so yellow, I'm a healthy student, you're my vitamins. Take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours, don't be late. And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard but I'm not sure, I'm so excited I can't wait I can't wait to meet you there but I don't care. I don't care if it's old, I don't mind if I don't have a mind, get away from your home. Have to poison skin, give an inch take a smile. Never met a wise man, if so it's a woman, gotta find a way, I had a better wait. One more special message to go, as a defense I'm neutered and spayed, what the hell am I trying to say? I got so high that I scratched till I bled. The second coming came in last and out of the closet. At the end of the rainbow and your rope. Don't hurt yourself, I want some help, to help myself, she's just as bored as me. I've got this friend you see, who makes me feel, I don't regret a thing. And the animals I've trapped have all became my pets. Our little group has always been and always will until the end, with the lights out it's less dangerous, here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious, here we are now entertain us, a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, yay, yay, a denial, I'm worse at what I do best and for this gift I feel blessed, I found it hard, it was hard to find, oh well, whatever, nevermind.

  H2. - Hormoaning:

  In Billboard, the magazine published December 14, 1991, Nevermind was #6 in the CD hit ranking and the single Smells Like Teen Spirit was #23 in the single ranking. Nirvana used to be described as the hopeful band from Seattle before they produced the first record. However, Nirvana is now one of the most popular bands in the US. The music they play doesn't stick to any formalities and leads heavy metal in the new generation, therefore it is called Alternative Heavy Rock. I will neither write more details about Alternative Heavy Rock, nor investigate their music from professional eyes. Anyway, all I can say is that the music of Nirvana influences a lot of teenagers today.
  
  Nirvana's commercial success is the biggest mystery in the music scene. I don't want you to misunderstand. I didn't say Nirvana did not have enough ability to get "Platinum Disk prize," but nobody could expect they would be such a famous band. The reason people think Nirvana's success is a mystery is that Geffen [the record label that] Nirvana and some other popular bands (such as Guns N' Roses) belong to, sold only a few Nevermind at first but a lot of young people bought it and Nirvana got big money even then. But I think Nirvana themselves are very surprised about this incident. Actually, I had a chance to interview Kurt Cobain (vocals, guitar) during England concert tours (their supporting acts were their favorite groups, Shonen Knife and Captain America, by the way). He said the following:
  
  "I didn't expect we would be so famous. I didn't even expect that our CD would be in the top 100 ranking in Billboard. You see, we had been in Europe before the great fuss. I don't want to relate with this fuss because I hate that a lot of fans are waiting for us at the airport."
  
  Kurt Cobain seemed like he was saying "Don't lose your mind" to himself during the interview. (personal opinion) Maybe they know a lot of musicians who lost their thoughts and became the toy of mass media. So Kurt Cobain is protecting himself before he goes the same way. Nirvana will come to Japan pretty soon so that you will be able to understand what I am trying to say. Because they will come to Japan, I will advise you about their concert. First thing I have to tell is that the concert is always unsociable. And also they are easily influenced by the environment so it depends on your luck whether the concert is very nice or boring.
  
  This CD is released just for Japan. I'd like to introduce each song on this mini-album, but we don't even know what songs will be on the CD. By one record company's information, two of the songs from the Smells Like Teen Spirit CD single, which are Even In His Youth and Aneurysm. It may also include some songs which were broadcast by BBC Radio-1 in England. It may be just a rumor, but one of them may be their favorite song by the Vaselines.
  
  I think that most of the people who bought this mini-CD have Nevermind, too. But if it is the first time to buy Nirvana's CD for you, I recommend you to experience Nevermind. I'm sure you'll like it too.

  H3. - Incesticide:

  A while ago, I found myself in bloody exhaust grease London again with an all-consuming urge to hunt for two rare things: back issues of NME rumored to be secretly hidden in glass casings and submerged in the fry vats of every kebab machine in the U.K. and the very-out-of-print first Raincoats LP. The NME search was a clever, saucy upstart of an attempt to be, uh, nasty. However, the Lord and Julian Cope himself know how we need, need, need the NME to embrace the unifying hands of our children across this big blue marble and NIRVANA's tarty musical career. So please bless us again - we'll forever feed off of your high-calorie boggy turbinates. In an attempt to satisfy the second part of my quest, I went to the Rough Trade shop and of course, found no Raincoats record in the bin. I then asked the woman behind the counter about it and she said "well, it happens that I'm neighbors with Anna (member of the Raincoats) and she works at an antique shop just a few miles from here." So she drew me a map and I started on my way to Anna's. Sometime later, I arrived at this elfin shop filled with something else I've compulsively searched for over the past few years - really old fucked up marionette-like wood carved dolls (quite a few hundred years old). Lots of them... I've fantasized about finding a ship filled with so many. They wouldn't accept my credit card but the dolls were way too expensive anyway. Anna was there, however, so I politely introduced myself with a fever- red face and explained the reason for my intrusion. I can remember her boss almost setting me on fire with his glares. She said "well, I may have a few lying around so, if I find one, I'll send it to you (very polite, very English)." I left feeling like a dork, like I had violated her space, like she probably thought my band was tacky. A few weeks later I received a vinyl copy of that wonderfully classic scripture with a personalized dust sleeve covered with xeroxed lyrics, pictures, and all the member's signatures. There was also a touching letter from Anna. It made me happier than playing in front of thousands of people each night, rock-god idolization from fans, music industry plankton kissing my ass, and the million dollars I made last year. It was one of the few really important things that I've been blessed with since becoming an untouchable boy genius. It was as rewarding as touring with Shonen Knife and watching people practically cry with joy at their honesty. It made people happy and it made me happy knowing that I had helped bring them to the U.K. It was as rewarding as the last Vaselines show in Edinburgh. They reformed just to play with us in their home town, probably having no idea how exciting and flattering it was for us (and how nervous we were to meet them). It was as rewarding as being asked to support Sonic Youth on two tours, totally being taken under their wing and being showed what dignity really means.
  
  It was as rewarding as the drawings Daniel Johnson sent me, or the Stinky Puffs single from Jad Fair's son, or playing on the same bill as Greg Sage in L.A., or being asked to help produce the next Melvins record, or being on the Wipers' compilation, or Thor from T.K. giving me a signed first edition of Naked Lunch, or making a friend like Stephen Pavlovic - our Australian tour promoter who sent me a Mazzy Star LP on vinyl, or playing "The Money Will Roll Right In" with Mudhoney, or having the power to insist on bringing Bjorn Again to the Reading Festival, or being able to afford to bring my friend Ian along on tour just to have a good time, or paying Calamity Jane five-thousand dollars to be heckled by twenty thousand macho boys in Argentina, or asking my friends Fits of Depression to play with us at the Seattle Coliseum, or playing with Poison Idea at a No On Nine benefit in Portland organized by Gus Van Zandt, or being a part of one of L7's pro-choice benefits in L.A., or kissing Chris and Dave on Saturday Night Live just to spite homophobes, or meeting Iggy Pop, or playing with The Breeders, Urge Overkill, the T.V. Personalities, The Jesus Lizard, Hole, Dinosaur Jr., etc. While all these things are very special, none were half as rewarding as having a baby with a person who is the supreme example of dignity, ethics and honesty. My wife challenges injustice and the reason her character has been so severely attacked is because she chooses not to function the way the white corporate man insists. His rules for women involve herbeing submissive, quiet, and non-challenging. When she doesn't follow his rules, the threatened man (who, incidentally, owns an army of devoted traitor women) gets scared. A big "fuck you" to those of you who have the audacity to claim that I'm so naive and stupid that I would allow myself to be taken advantage of and manipulated. I don't feel the least bit guilty for commercially exploiting a completely exhausted Rock youth Culture because, at this point in rock history, Punk Rock (while still sacred to some) is, to me, dead and gone. We just wanted to pay tribute to something that helped us to feel as though we had crawled out of the dung heap of conformity. To pay tribute like an Elvis or Jimi Hendrix impersonator in the tradition of a bar band. I'll be the first to admit that we're the 90's version of Cheap Trick or the Knack but the last to admit that it hasn't been rewarding. At this point I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or woman, please do this one favor for us - leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records. Last year, a girl was raped by two wastes of sperm and eggs while they sang the lyrics to our song "Polly". I have a hard time carrying on knowing there are plankton like that in our audience. Sorry to be so anally P.C. but that's the way I feel.
  
  Kurdt (the blond one)

  H4. - From the Muddy Banks of Wishkah:

  Nirvana started as a live band (don't all bands?). We played around for two years before the release of Bleach in June, 1989. At the time, live shows were our bread and butter (this being prior to the release of Nevermind in September of 1991). We'd hit the road for months at a time... coming back with one or two grand...to be split three ways. In those days, that was as much "success" as we thought possible. The earliest performances on this album are brought to you courtesy of a sound board cassette recording of a December, 1989 show at London's Astoria. "Breed" (then called "Imodium") and "Polly" (the big rock version) are taken from this show, the last date of a European tour supporting fellow Sub-Poppers, Tad. Early in 1991, the band signed with Geffen Records and acquired professional management D.I.Y. fell by the wayside. Nevermind was recorded in the spring of 1991. Following summer tours with Dinosaur Jr. and the Jesus Lizard, Nevermind was released in the fall. Immediately following the release, we went on a tour headlining small venues that culminated with a Halloween homecoming show at Seattle's Paramount Theatre. This show was filmed and recorded onto multi-track...yielding the version of "Negative Creep" used in compiling this record. Two days later, the band left for another European tour. "School," "Been A Son," "Lithium" and "Blew" were all taken from a show at the Paradiso in Amsterdam, Netherlands, on November 25, 1991. The show was filmed and recorded on multi-track for Dutch TV. "Spank Thru," this version having been recorded on November 19, 1991 in Rome, was actually the first Nirvana song. While we were touring Europe, Nevermind was becoming all the rage back home. Though we were kept informed on the momentum, being so far away made us pretty oblivious to the extent of what was happening. We ended the year with a brief West Coast tour. The bill included Pearl Jam and Nirvana and was headlined by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The second show on this tour was on December 28, 1991 at the Del Mar Fairgrounds (just outside San Diego). For whatever reason, our set was particularly aggressive that night - "Drain You," "Aneurysm" and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" were all taken from this recording. Early in 1992, the band toured Australia and Japan. Later in the summer, we traveled to Europe to make up some Scandanavian shows we had to cancel on the previous tour. The touring highlight of the year, however, was a headlining slot on England's Reading Festival. I have to say that hearing tens of thousands of people sing along with "Lithium" was a very cool moment in the history of the band. We were having fun playing and decided to stretch the set out a bit - enter "tourette's," a song which had been around for a few years (and eventually found its way onto In Utero.) Following the release of In Utero in 1993, we once again hit the road. Using left-over props from the "Heart-Shaped Box" video shoot as set dressing (our first foray into the world of stage props), we concentrated on working up a set that spanned the band's entire career and gave the audience a longer show than we had done on past tours. In that we were playing the "big" halls on this tour, it was felt that we needed to bring along a "big" sound...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Pat Smear. "Scentless Apprentice" was filmed and recorded by MTV for their 1993 New Year's special...recorded at a show at a pier in Seattle. "Heart-Shaped Box" comes from as sound board DAT recording from a show at The Forum in Los Angeles in December, 1993. We took "Milk It" from a sound board recording from the Seattle Center Arena. "Sliver" is taken from a board tape from the Springfield Civic Center (in Massachusetts). In presenting this record, we hope that the ultimate allure of Nirvana (and especially Kurt) as well as the passion that we had - and have- for the music we made is once again brought to the forefront. Let all the analysis fall away like yellow, aged newsprint. Crank this record up and realize the bliss, power and passion...TOTAL NIRVANA!
  
  Krist Novoselic

  X. - Kurt Cobain's complete suicide note:

  DISCLAIMER: This is the note as it appeared in NME. The original note is in the hands of the Seattle Police Department. Two copies were made; one was given to the Medical Examiner, the second to Courtney Love. It was Courtney's copy that showed up in NME.
  It was a difficult decision to put this in here, but it is one of the most frequently asked questions.
  Thanks to Liz Ellison on this one!
  To Boddah

  Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

  Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain

  Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
  Please keep going Courtney
  for Frances
  for her life which will be so much happier
  without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU

  Note on the note: In the book 'Cobain' they mention that Boddah was one of Kurt's imaginary friends as a child.

VI. How to get in contact with me.